When We Last Left Our Campers, Everyone Was Drunk and Happy, Despite a Few Minor Instances of Puking and Unwanted Sexual Advances! See How It All Goes Horribly Wrong...
Not long after the livejournal ruckus, fighting ensues. Mike (the puker) is beginning to puke all over the kitchen! Megan and Brad are screaming at each other through a glass door, which then breaks! Mary and I are scared... which only makes Megan more angry. Uh oh. Things are not going well, campers! Also, It's about 2:30 AM and Mike has to be at work at 4:30 AM. This is not promising. Let's listen in... Ok, so we can't actually listen in, but here's Mary's recap the next morning:
29th July 2003 3:49pm
For the record, I have no idea what happened last night. Everything seemed to
be going well. Everyone was drunk (I know that I was really drunk) and having
fun. I thought. Then it all descended into chaos. There was throwing up on the
kitchen floor (though thankfully not on the dog) and a lot of yelling (Megan
and Bradley) and the door was broken. And then it got better for a while. We
calmed down. Megan wasn't scary (you were a delight) aand we were all going to
sleep around 3ish. Then at 3:30 the alarm was going off for Mike to get up so
that he could go to work so I went upstairs to help him along... I found him
standing up against the wall, asleep. I was afraid he was going to retch again,
so I tried to lead him to the bathroom through Megan's parents' room (where Tom
was sleeping) but he totally couldn't walk a straight line and I don't even think
his eyes were open and then he just collapsed onto Megan's parents' bed with his
head against Tom's butt. It all got straightened out I suppose. But I
don't think he went to work. Then Kyle the boy from Florida (who I recruited to
help me help Mike) talked to me for a little too long about motocross and told
me I didn't look 21 (no shit) and then said, "Don't worry though 'cause when
you're 40, I'll be like, 'Whoa, she's a hot 40 year old.'" And I thought,
"Oooohhh...isn't it cute when children drink too much?"
But apparently I can look forward to being hot in 19 years. I can't wait. I guess
until then I'll just have to find a boy who likes me for my personality.
Or I could date Mexican guys becaus they love me as was evidenced yesterday...
I would like to formally apologize to Megan for being drunk. I know you say I
couldn't help it and I probably couldn't, but I also know that we didn't make
the situation any easier for you.
I would also like to compliment you on your exemplary use of "fuck." While
hearing you and your brother scream "Fuck you" at each other through the back door
was highly entertaining, I think your best usage was, "If my fucking brother wasn't
fucking his fucking girlfriend..." I can't even remember the rest of the sentence
because the beginning made me laugh so hard. Kudos, my friend.
Hey...we still have a lot of margarita mix left. We should drink it sometime.
But we shouldn't invite Mike (because he can't hold his liquor or make it to the
bathroom and that's so uncool) or Matt (because...DUDE! Jessie isn't going
to do it with you! You are jailbait. No one cares what Maryland law says, no matter
how many times you repeat it).
After last night's lovely bacchanal, I took a refreshing one and a half hour
nap, got up at 5:45, went home, showered, dressed, and went to work.
My new method for avoiding hang-overs: only make it to stages 1-3 of sleep.
Avoid stage 4. Oh sure...psychologists say that you need stage 4 (REM) in order
to function normally, but really...what do they know anyway? I'm just glad my head
doesn't hurt.
I'm going to take out my contacts and put in a movie so I can fall asleep on the
couch with my doggies.
I'm out like a light.
mood // blah
music // cursive * koufax * patsy cline * my morning jacket
Did Mike actually make it to work? Was everything OK, like Mary thought? And will Angelo get the sex change? Find out in our exciting conclusion!