This Girl's Life
Kiki and Gwen were at their usual table at Charley's, a side-walk cafe that doubled as a coffee house, complete with poetry readings every Thursday night. Gwen's sister Charmaine owned the small restaurant and only saw her little sister when she came in to eat.
It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and the two women had just gotten off of work, and were indulging in a late lunch. Sitting at the umbrella topped table, they talked and watched people walking past them on the opposite side of the white iron fence that separated the tables from the sidewalk.
"I wish I knew something to do," Kiki whined and took a bite of her vanilla ice cream.
"You're still trying to change something?" Gwen asked, her eyes scanning the other tables from behind her dark glasses. "I don't see why - I love you just the way you are."
Kiki smiled to her friend warmly. Gwen could always make her feel special so easily.
"I know. It's just that since that night with Josh, I realized that I'm not the same person I used to be. I want to change something about myself to reflect that," Kiki responded. I just don't know what about he to change."
"Have you noticed how cute the guy at that table is?" Gwen said off-handedly.
Kiki looked to the table positioned between theirs and the door leading to the restaurant. A handsome young man with smooth skin and dark hair and eyes sat alone reading a book and drinking an iced tea.
"Yeah," Kiki replied indifferently. "He's cute."
Actually, she thought he was more than cute. He looked handsome and athletic with a hint of boyish charm to his rounded cheeks and sophistication to his dark eyes. He had the demeanor of a boy-next-door type, quiet, possibly shy. But those eyes had a depth to them that seemed to conceal something. Kiki couldn't tell what it was or if it was a good or bad thing, but she knew that she could easily be very attracted to that sort of man.
"He keeps looking at you," Gwen said with a mischievous smile.
"I know," Kiki replied in a matter-of-factual tone. "He usually does."
"Huh?" Gwen sounded confused.
"I've seen him in here before a couple of times. But he's usually with a blonde."
Just as Kiki finished her sentence a tall blonde in a short summer dress and her hair pulled into a loose pony-tail approached the young man's table. As he saw her, he stood and smiled. Kiki had to admit that he had a beautiful smile. As the woman drew near, he extended his arms for a quick embrace before she sat down in the chair opposite his.
"Her?" Gwen questioned.
"Yep," Kiki replied.
"Well, that could be his sister," Gwen responded in a hopeful voice.
"Yeah and I'm pregnant with Joe's child," Kiki answered with cynicism filling her voice.
"Rainbow Kiki St. Matthew," Gwen said with a gasp and a tone of shock and disappointment. She almost sounded like a mother.
Kiki would have laughed or, at least, made a sarcastic comment if she had not been struck by proverbial lightning. Gwen's words had brought about an epiphany, and suddenly Kiki knew what it was she wanted to change.
"That's it!" Kiki quietly exclaimed.
"What's it?"
"I know what I want to change."
"And that would be. . . ?"
"My name."
For a moment, Gwen was speechless. She didn't know what to say. All she could was stare at her friend until she found her voice and forced out the words, "To what?"
"I don't know," Kiki answered as the look of excitement that covered her face melted into a look of intense thought.
Rose and Joe each reacted nearly identically to Gwen. At first they were surprised, and reluctant to tell Kiki they thought it was a bad idea. Each of them liked her name for their different reasons.
Of course Kiki thought it was a great idea and desperately tried to come up with a new identity for herself. For five straight nights, just before she curled up under her blankets on her warm bed, she stood in front of the mirror and introduced herself. With each introduction she tried, Kiki used a different name. She hoped she would find one that would fit her. For some reason though, the names Aileen, Sarah, Mary, Melissa, Angela, Catherine, Marina, Cheryl, Elizabeth, Jennifer or any of the other hundred or so names she tried seemed to fit. As a child she had wanted a name like one of those, normal and average, but they could sound so elegant.
Now that she could have any name she wanted, Kiki could not find one that she thought would be her. None of them seemed right when she said "Hi, my name is. . ." Yet, she was determined to find a new name. In her eyes, at that moment, anything was better than Rainbow, and it was just a matter of finding the one she liked the best.
As the hours of another Friday swept by, Kiki's thoughts were filled with names. Josh had come and gone at his usual time and Rose was out for the evening with a handsome lawyer. Kiki had been flipping through the channels, not really watching anything. She would stop every now and again to hear a few character names to see if she liked them before moving on.
It was shortly after nine when the phone rang, almost causing Kiki to jump out of her skin. The black cordless phone was on the coffee table. Kiki reached for it, pressed the �talk' button and put it to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Rainbow? Is that you?"
Kiki smiled. There was only one person who still insisted on calling her Rainbow.
"Yeah, Mom. Where are you?"
"Somewhere in Georgia - I think."
"What are you doin' down there?"
"Nothin' really. Just lookin' around. I waitressed for awhile in Atlanta, but that got boring. You know how it is."
"Yeah, I do," Kiki replied.
"I don't suppose Jane's there?"
"Nope, she goes with Josh every weekend," Kiki answered turning down the volume on the television.
"It's the weekend? Oh, geez, it's Friday, huh? My goodness. You know this week just seemed to fly by."
"I know it."
"What about you, kiddo? Anything new and exciting happening in you love life?"
"Not really. I don't think I have a love life anymore."
"Rainbow, as long as your heart is beating, you've got a love life. It's just sometimes it's more active than others."
Kiki had to laugh at her mothers rationalization. She still had that all encompassing optimism that covered every possible situation.
"I guess that makes sense," Kiki admitted.
"Hey, Rainbow, I hate to cut this so short, but there's this big guy waiting to use the phone so I gotta go."
"Okay, Mom. I'll talk to you later."
"I love you, Rainbow."
"I love you too, Mom."
"Bye, kiddo."
There was a click and then silence. Kiki set the phone back on the coffee table and smiled rather contentedly to herself.
As she thought more about it, perhaps changing her name wasn't what she needed. Perhaps it was. For now, she wasn't going to worry about it. When it was time for the big change to happen in her life, Kiki would make the change. And if it happened to be her name that was meant to change, she already had a whole list of names she knew she wouldn't like.
COMING MAY 2, 1999: Set Up
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