Low Carb Journal 
:)
December 1998:Sad, angry, miserable. I am at the highest weight I have ever been. A year ago, I participated in a clinically supervised diet program, high in complex carbs, low in fat, low in calories. In three months, I *gained* 14 pounds, and my body fat went up 6%. They told me I had to be cheating, because it was impossible for me to follow that diet and gain weight. I came home, cried for 4 hours, and told my husband, "I don't care if you have to bury me in a piano crate. I will never do that again." I had done exactly as I was told. I weighed every bite. Recorded every ounce. And failed. Again. I have been on every diet I ever heard of: Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous, the skim milk and banana diet. The grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, the liquid diet. Hypnotism. Diet pills, more than once. Even had my stomach stapled. All low calorie, low fat, diets high in carbs. With each, I would lose a few pounds initially, then gradually start to gain again. [I know now that each time I lost wweight by reducing calories, half of what I lost was fat, and half was lean body mass--muscles, like my heart.] My cholesterol kept going up, and so did my blood pressure. My baby sister has been doing something different since August 1998. She only wanted to lose about 25 pounds, and she has done it. She looks great. All she will say when I ask what she is doing is "Read the book. Get the book. You just have to read the book." The book is Protein Power, by Dr. Eades. Okay, right after Christmas, I am going to buy the book. I'm going to read the book. Even though I said I would never do this craziness again. I just can't stand how I feel and how I look.
something has got to happen.
27 December 1998: Went to Book Stop. Browsing the shelves.
I finally had to ask soomeone for help. She turned out to be a customer, who was already on Protein Power, looking for a low carb cookbook. She loves the program, and like my sister, kept saying, "You just have to read it to understand how it works." She has lost 32 pounds. Oh how I hope this works! I am so discouraged right now. I am tired all the time. I never really feel good. Sleepy, irritable, hungry all the time. Chocolate is my major food group. I can barely make it through the day, so I can go home and take a nap. Most of the things I used to love to do, I just don't have the energy for any more.
29 December 1998: Okay I have read the book. Some of it I understood, some I didn't. some is just more technical than I am ready to deal with right now. I just want to know, what can I eat? How fast will I lose? The rest can wait until later. We are going to start the first day of the new year. Too much junk, too many "goodies" left over from Christmas, and New Year's Eve is just a couple of days away. I have already made my shopping list, though, so on the thirty-first, I will go to the grocery store.
1 January 1999: A new beginning, I hope. A new year, a fresh start. How many Mondays have I started a new diet, only to fail by Wednesday? This is my last hope. I am miserable, tired, sick too much, sleeping too much, as if I have put my life on hold until I can lose some weight. The trouble is, I never get off hold, because I can't find a way that works for me. I just get fatter and fatter every year. *Deep breath* Today I begin a new life. A low carb life. A life without sugar or white flour. a life without Fritos, real Coca-Cola, cake, candy, potatoes, rice, pasta. I went through the pantry and the refrigerator and gave away anything that is not on my low-carb shopping list. It is kind of expensive, getting started with a new way of eating.
2 January 1999: so far, so good. It takes a different kind of thinking about food to stay with this. I have thought in terms of low fat and low calorie for so long that it is hard to feel comfortable eating fat, not counting calories, and eating all I want. What luxury, to be able to have real butter and real cream again. And not having to cut the fat off that big slice of roast beef.
7 January 1999: No weight loss, but I do feel better. Less problem with gastric reflux at night, so I am sleeping better too.
14 January: Still no weight loss, but no gain either. The food is luscious. And I am never hungry.
21 January: I have had an asthma flare, not unusual this time of year. Usually, being sick means ditching any effort I might be making with a diet, and going back to my comfort foods: macaroni and cheese, tomato soup, ice cream, mashed potatoes. Haven't done that this time. Made low carb soup, ate big plates of melted cheese, and used protein powder, cream, cocoa and Equal to make chocolate shakes instead of ice cream. Dr. says he doesn't know much about low carb, but since nothing else has worked, why not see how it works for me. Went to Book Stop, looking for a low carb cookbook, and picked up a copy of Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution. Let's see how it compares to Protein Power.
28 January: Still no weight loss, so decided to try Atkins induction and see what happens. The main difference seems to be the greater reduction in carbs. I bought a can of nuts to keep in my desk, so I don't get tempted to get something sugary out of the candy machine. Took all measurements, and figured body fat percentage--60%. More than half of my body is pure fat. Not an attractive mental image.
29 January: those ketostix are turning purple, and Dr. Atkins says that means I am burning fat. I sure hope so. 60% body fat. Yuck! that haunts me.
29 January: Scale says I have lost a pound and a half in two days. I know it must be mostly water, but it is encouraging. I love being able to have something to eat whenever I am hungry, and not gain weight. I found flavored pork rinds at the store last night for a snack. Here is what I ate today: breakfast, 2 eggs scrambled in butter, with 1 oz. cream cheese, 2 slices bacon; Lunch, cooked chicken chopped with 1 tbl. onion, 1 dill gherkin, lots of mayonaise, wrapped in lettuce leaves instead of on bread; supper, 1 pound boiled shrimp, half a pork chop, mayonaise mixed with 1 tbl. chopped onion instead of shrimp sauce. I am learning what it is like to be satisfied with my food, not hungry thirty minutes later, not craving sweets because my blood sugar has crashed. Its a wonderful feeling. I have lost two pounds.
30 Jan: Food is a complicated thing. From the moment of birth, it is associated with comfort, warmth, being held and cuddled, being loved. We associate food with celebration of special occasions such as birthdays and holidays, with comfort when we are sick or blue, with reward for doing well, and withdrawal of food as punishment for failure. There are some things we can just stop doing, if we decide they are unhealthy, like smoking, or drinking alcohol. But it is not possible to just stop eating. And if I eat sugar or chocolate, I can't stop. I crave it like a drug addict craves his drug. But somehow, these past few days, I seem to be able to live without chocolate. Dr. Atkins says eating low carb keeps blood sugar levels and insulin levels more stable, instead of the rush and crash cycle. Boy do I know about that--eat lunch, then by 2:00 I'm starving, headache, lightheaded, *needing* a snickers bar and a Coke. Then for a half hour or so I feel so great...and then the crash again. On the low carb plan, I can eat 6 small meals a day, and I get hungry, but not that horrible ravenous feeling, and there is always something I can have. Any kind of meat. Any kind of eggs. Any kind of cheese, almost (well...I don't suppose it likely that anyone will overdose on cottage cheese). I never cared much for salad before (just the dressings), and I can't say I am wild about them now, but it's okay. I don't mind eating them. I have been feeling sort of tired by the end of the day, but not too bad. Maybe I need to look at getting some kind of vitamins. There's a whole chapter in Dr. Atkins' book about vitamins, but I haven't really read it yet. Maybe I should. Maybe I ought to take a vitamin every day. I'm sure glad I took all my measurements. I have lost an inch from my hips already. It's true, I can eat all this wonderful, satisfying food, and still lose weight.
31 January: Today I had bacon and eggs with cream cheese for breakfast; a cup of cottage cheese for a snack; ham and cheese rolled up in lettuce, slathered with mayonaise for lunch; celery stuffed with cream cheese and olives for a snack; ham and broccoli for supper, and whipped cream with vanilla and sweetener for dessert.
2 Feb. I have lost four pounds! I still can't believe that I am eating this way and losing weight. For so long I have felt that my life was out of control...I felt weak and powerless...people were always saying things like, "oh you have such a pretty face, too bad you can't lose some of that weight." I let people take advantage of me, and talk me into things, because I didn't feel that I could stand up to them. I felt ugly and shapeless, like a whale with legs. I put things off, or refused to do things, because I was embarassed about how I looked. I kept saying to myself, "someday, when I get thin, I will ______ (wear a swimsuit in public, go on a cruise, go dancing, have a life, be happy, feel beautiful, etc.). I'm beginning to feel that someday might actually get here...someday.
9 February: Today I have lost six pounds. I ate 2 eggs, cooked in butter; a cup of cottage cheese; fajita seasoned steak strips with onions and peppers; about a fourth of a cup of mixed nuts; a couple of hamburger patties with mayonaise, mustard, letuce, and a couple of thin slices of tomato; and a protein shake made with two eggs, cream, and sour cream, and a little sweetener. I feel good.
13 February: I've lost an inch and a half from my hips. I'm figuring out how to eat out too. And I did a presentation for a state level organization, without having a panic attack. That was a big milestone. One of the textbook publishers had a reception at a really expensive restaurant. My district coordinator arranged for three of us to go to it. We had mushroom appetizers, spinach salad with vinagrette, red snapper wrapped in bacon with oysters, and crab claws. Every bite low carb:)
18 February: seven and a half pounds gone. I am discovering a pattern. I hit a new low, then bounce back up a few pounds. Then after a while, I hit a new low. Each time I bounce back up, it is around the last low weight. As if I am walking down a flight of steps, several down, a few back up, then down again.
13 March: Refigured body fat. Down to fifty percent. I've lost five inches from my bust, four from my waist, and five from my hips. I've lost twelve pounds. Yesterday I had 2 eggs cooked in butter, with an ounce of cream and an ounce of cream cheese mixed in; 1/4 cup cashews; 1 tbl. peanut butter; stuffed bell peppers; pork skins; celery stuffed with cream cheese and olives.
3 April: Fifteen pounds gone.
23 May: sixteen pounds gone. I knew I would not continue the rapid weight loss of the first couple of months. Actually, I am glad. I have a lot of pounds to go, and I don't want to end up with a lot of loose wrinkly skin. My skin needs time to shrink as I lose weight. I feel good, and enjoy what I eat, and have more energy too.
27 June: twenty pounds gone. I'm glad I took all my measurements before I started. I have lost eight inches from my bust, five from my waist, and six and a half from my hips, as well as smaller losses from neck, wrists, ankles, thighs, biceps. We are traveling a lot this summer, and it is harder to stay on track when we eat out so much, but I make the best choices I can. When we are driving a lot, we make picnics out of vienna sausages, sardines, tuna, cheese, pork rinds, and nuts. we carry a little bag of paper plates, plastic flatware, napkins, salt and pepper, and a small cooler with ice and mayo and diet drinks. It helps a lot.
3 July: leaving for our cruise. My sister and her husband are going too. He eats low carb, she doesn't, but at least she doesn't say a whole lot about how we eat. I know she doesn't approve, but his cholesterol has gone down dramatically, and he may even get to get off his RX, so I don't understand why she is still so opposed. Well, yes I guess I do. She goes to a dietician, who keeps telling her how unhealthy this diet is. Well, how unhealthy was it for me to be so overweight? I'll take my chances. :)
Gained a couple of pounds on the cruise, but that's okay. I expected it. We discussed it before leaving and agreed that we would make choices that were not on our plan, if we wanted to. Funny, though, most of the time, I still chose the low carb alternatives. I tasted some things, but didn't go overboard with anything, not even the night they had the chocolate lover's midnight buffet. I loved the snorkeling at Cozumel, and swimming with the stingrays at Grand Cayman. We went shopping in Jamaica, and I was able to buy a dress in a regular women's shop, not a plus size, a regular size! I was so excited.
25 July: It's been about six months, and I still feel so good about this way of eating. This is how I will eat from now on. I have lost nine and a half inches from my bust, six from my waist, and six from my hips. Body fat is now at 47 percent. I have lost 21 pounds.
28 August: twenty three inches from my three main measurements. 45 inches overall. Down three sizes in clothes. Twenty two and a half pounds gone. Average weight loss since beginning Atkins, 3.21 pounds per month.
5 October: Spent a four day weekend in New Orleans. The weather was beautiful. We spent most of our time in the French Quarter. It was very relaxing, a long drive, but worth it. I seem to be in a stall right now, not losing any weight for about 2 months. I guess it is time to review my meal log and see what is going on.
12 October: I am not seeing what is wrong with my food, so I am going to post a couple of day's worth to my low-carb list, and see what the others can tell me. Being on that list helps me so much; the members are so supportive and have so much experience and advice to offer.
15 October: They are right. I have let my calorie intake drop way below where it should be. Minimum of 10 calories per pound of body weight is what is required just for basic functions, if all I was doing was laying in bed, breathing. Pushing calorie intake below that level causes the body to go into starvation mode. It thinks it is starving, so hangs on to every ounce, to conserve itself, and turns the metabolism down, to prevent energy loss. So I am going to go back and try to replicate the way I was eating when I was losing better. I think part of the probelm is that if I am not really paying attention to what I eat, I slip back into old habits from before low carb--not eating enough, skipping meals, skimping portions. It's counterproductive.
17 October: One of the list members helped me (actually did the figuring for me) and concluded that I have lost 24 pounds on the scale, but 42 pounds of fat, and gained 18 pounds of lean muscle. Not through exercise, just through eating right, and giving my body enough protein. Every time I lost weight on low fat, low calorie diets, about half of what I lost was fat, and half was lean muscle. That lowered my metabolism, and made it harder for me to lose weight, even when I reduced calories below 800 a day. Time to get back to basics. I am going to go back to induction, and see if I can get things moving again. I still have a ways to go, to be where I want and need to be. But I have come a long way. I have gotten a lot of response through e-mails and posts to the lists I belong to, from people who are reading my journal, and following my progress. It is hard to reveal so much of my private thoughts, fears and anxieties, but worth while if it helps other people.
2 November: Still bouncing up and down the same couple of pounds. That's okay, though. I am going to end this year twenty four pounds thinner than I started. But weight on the scale is less important to me than body fat percentage. Protein Power has a formula for figuring body fat. There are several ways. One is by being weighed underwater. Expensive. Another is by measurement with calipers. Also expensive, and may vary from one technician to another. Electrical impedance is how the Tanita scales supposedly measure body fat. I think the scales cost about $65 at Sam's Club. There are several sites on the internet that use some kind of mathmatical formula, similar to the one in Protein Power. I think it is not so important which you choose; what is important is that you use the same method consistently. Once you know your percentage of body fat, you can figure out how much is lean mass. Then, as the body fat percentage drops, the lean muscle mass increases, and you may be surprised to find that your goal weight is also higher than you expected. My goal now is stated not in pounds lost but in body fat percentage. Less than 22% body fat can cause problems for women, inhibiting puberty in young girls, and causing infertility in women. Men usually have a higher lean mass than women, which is also the reason that they lose weight more easily; muscle is metabolically active, while fat is not, so even at rest, their muscles are burning more energy than women's muscle mass. I am aiming for 25% body fat. This is a bit higher than some people think optimum, but I want to have a little fat left to keep my wrinkles plumped up :) So, if my current progress continues, I will be trying to lose about another 35-40 pounds. I will then re-evaluate, and see if I want to try to go lower than that. I am more interested in being healthy than in being fashionably thin. And if I can be a size 9 again, I wouldn't care if I weighed 300 pounds on the scale! :)
I have been collecting information about the healthful effects of this way of eating, and will begin some posts on that topic soon. If you are interested in joining a low carb news list, here are a couple to check out: e-mail the list owner at
[email protected] and put SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Or [email protected] with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. There are other groups, with various guidelines and varying emphasis. If you don't like the first one you try, keep looking. You will find the one that fits your needs and your personality. And the support you get is invaluable, in keeping you motivated over the long term. The song on this page is "ill Still Be Loving You" I put it there cause I'm loving myself more every day with all this weight I have lost.
3 November: Some people express concern over unproven rumors they have heard about health problems supposedly caused by this way of eating. Dr. Atkins is a cardiologist, a heart specialist, who recommends this program for his patients. He has treated over 40,000 heart patients in the past 25 years, and in addition he has done extensive research, and has found no evidence of any adverse effects on the heart, kidneys or pancreas. The only medical condition which is incompatible with this way of eating is a pre-existing kidney condition. He says that if you have kidney disease, you need to discuss with your specialist how to adapt this way of eating to suit your situation, since kidney disease usually requires controlling protein intake. The ketogenic diet is used in treating many health problems. For example, children with epilepsy have fewer seizures when eating this way. People with high blood pressure and high cholesterol see dramatic improvements in those conditions, often within three months. Frequently, diabetics are able to drastically reduce or even eliminate insulin shots, as long as they stay on the program, because low-carb eating stabilizes their blood sugar and controls the release of insulin. Low-carb eating is also recommended by many doctors for auto-immune diseases such as arthritis and MS. It is not a cure for these conditions, but helps manage the symptoms. There is no physical requirement for carbohydrates. Without adequate protein, humans can not survive. Without essential fats, humans will die. However, we are fundamentally carnivores, and can live without significant carbohydrate intake indefinitely. The Atkins plan is not a *no* carb plan. It is a way of discovering each person's critical carb level, the level at which they can lose weight. Then, after the person achieves the desired weight loss, carbohydrates are added back very slowly and in a controlled manner, to achieve a level at which the weight can be maintained. Even during the first two weeks of induction, we are eating salads and green leafy vegetables. I find that I am eating more vegetables now than I ever did before. I used to fill up on refined products such as white rice, pasta, white bread, and potatoes--products from which most of the natural nutrition has been stripped through processing. I didn't like most vegetables. Now I find jicama tastes sweet, as does spaghetti squash--almost as sweet to my taste as a sweet potato used to be. I actually enjoy broccoli and cauliflower--and before low carb, I thought they were terribly bitter and would not eat either one at all.
I enjoy the e-mails I receive from fellow list members, and plan to continue answering questions and offering my experiences in this journal as I have time. If you look at the links on the lowcarb page, you will see the St. Johns link. This is a source of chat lists on a wide variety of topics, which may interest you. I subscribe to two of their low carb lists, and find a great deal of support and valuable information.
6 November: I am busy planting pansies this weekend. It's a beautiful day, and I can actually bend over now, without losing my breath or feeling dizzy. Losing weight brings with it so many small pleasures. :)It is hard sometimes to share my most private thoughts, fears, failures; but I am glad I am able to offer some assistance to others who are interested in eating low carb; it makes me feel so valuable in addition to feeling good about my weight loss. And I know from the e-mails I receive that people identify with my frustrations and failures, as well as my successes. If they are helped by reading this journal, it is worth doing. Also I'm so happy to have the friends I have knowing they will be there for me always even if it's just in spirit. Many people I will never see face to face, only in cyber space. :)
7 November: I spent most of the day working in the yard. It was a beautiful Indian summer day. We went to Lowe's to get top rails for the fence in the back yard, which my DH is replacing a section at a time. I also wanted some pansies. I got 4 flats. And while we were there, found a big section of plants at 75% off. I can never resist a bargain. Got four snowball bushes and two hibiscus to plant in the parkway (the narrow strip of grass between the walk and the curb), a couple of shrimp plants, and five purple asters. I cut back all my rose bushes for the winter, and cleaned the dead leaves out of the beds, and tilled up the dirt ready for spring planting. Then I planted all the stuff we bought. It was wonderful to be able to bend over without getting dizzy, or without having heartburn. I have had a couple of moments of intense self-awareness lately. I looked at my arm, and for an instant it was as if it belonged to someone else. i could see how smooth and creamy the skin is (from the extra fat in my diet now) and --- wow, I have muscles! I could see the definition in the muscles. Then later, I was walking across the yard, and I could feel the muscles in my legs moving, carrying my body. It really felt good. I am sore today, but it is a good feeling to know that my body is healthier and firmer now than a year ago.
Some people have difficulty understanding why this way of eating is high protein, high fat, which the diet gurus have taught us is bad. So I have been thinking on this, and doing some research. Here is what I conclude. The Standard American Diet is 40-50% carbohydrate, about 25-30% protein, and the rest (25-30%) fat. The World Health Organization says that a diet below 2,000 calories a day is considered a starvation diet. This is based on the fact that a body totally at rest requires a minimum of 10 calories per pound of body weight just to carry out minimal functions such as blood circulation, kidney function, etc. (Babies, because they are growin so fast, require at least 110 calories per pound of body weight!) So just to make it easy, let's say that you weigh 200 pounds, and therefore need a minimum of 2,000 calories per day. If you were eating a SAD, you would eat 40% carb, 30% protein, 30% fat. But on low carb, you are going to reduce carbs to 20 grams per day, which is about 80 calories (4 calories per gram for carbs, and for proteins; 9 calories per gram for fats). Now, you still need 2,000 calories per day. 30% is the minimum you need in protein, to maintain your lean mass. However, if you are trying to build new muscle, you may need a little more. If you take in 30% of your calories in protein, that is 600 calories a day. 680 calories in protein and carbs. Now, you still need about 1300 calories in addition to the protein and the carbs. Where is it coming from? It has to be from fat, since there is nothing but carbs, protein, and fat in the food we eat (vitamins and minerals are micronutrients found in our food). Fat serves several purposes. One, without the essential fatty acids, we would die. Two, fat satiates our appetites, and keeps us from being hungry, so it is easier to maintain an appropriate level of calorie intake. Three, fat is what we want our bodies to burn. our bodies burn fat instead of carbohydrates for energy. Research demonstrates that this is actually the brain's preferred source of energy. Carbohydrates burn first, then fat and proteins. The body uses protein as a building block to repair cellular damage, and to build lean muscle mass, and to keep our bones and organs strong. It burns fat for energy, as long as very little carbohydrates are being taken in. In the presence of carbohydrates, the body stores fat, as insurance for later starvation periods. In the history of human kind, carbohydrates were only available at certain times of year, during the warm growing season. Our bodies used the carbs for current energy demeands, and stored fat for the winter. The problem now is that carbohydrates are available all year round, and usually combined with a high percentage of dietary fat. The increase in carbohydrate intake, especially refined sugar, is the reason for the sharp increase in heart disease and diabetes in recent years. Before 1900, the average American consumed about twenty pounds of refined sugar per year. Nowdays, the average is over one hundred twenty pounds. Heart disease was virtually unknown before 1920. Diabetes was rare, until refined sugar became cheaper and readily available.
10 November This is a special day because it is the Birthday of the US Marines and my husband was a Marine.
To find the site for figuring your body fat percentage, go to Wally's Low Carb FAQs (the link is on the lowcarb page of this site) scroll down to the section on body composition.
I have been stalled for over two months now, stuck at the same weight, or bobbing up a few pounds. So I have been thinking, are there reasons why I might be sabotaging my own efforts? Are there reasons why losing more weight is threatening? Is obesity a camoflage, or a protection from something I fear? When I was a teenager, I thought I was fat, at 5'2" tall, weighing 117 pounds. I look at pictures of myself then, and it is like looking at a stranger. A pretty little girl, with long blonde hair, and sad eyes. A child who never felt good enough, never measured up to her father's expectations, never felt like a success. Maybe going back to that weight seems like going back to that frame of mind. I think I have never had a clear image of my own body. I can't look at other people and tell if they are bigger or smaller than me, although I can tell if one is larger or smaller than the other. Maybe I need to linger at this weight for a while, and get used to how I look like this, before I can take another step downward in weight. As an obese woman, I don't have to worry about being attractive to others--there is an assumption in our society that heavy women are asexual, not sexy or glamorous or beautiful. A large woman can be funny, smart, good at her job; never threatening, never part of the "competition." I guess I need to think on this some more
11 November: I love getting e-mail and making new friends through this site. Making these journal entries helps me in many ways. It keeps me cnscious of what I need to be doing to maintain this way of eating for life, and it keeps me looking for new information about low carbing. That way I don't get bored, or off track. One of the biggest improvements for me has been a decrease in depression. I still have depressive episodes, but they are not as severe as before, nor as frequent. My doctor is very pleased. He says there are several new studies which indicate a link between severe depression and insulin sensitivity. I have hyperinsulinemia, which means that my body makes too much insulin in response to carbohydrate intake, and that overproduction of insulin causes my body to make and store more fat and more cholesterol. Reducing carb intake is the only way to control this condition. It can lead to diabetes eventually, if unchecked.
13 November: Thursday evening, I had an interesting experience. The state of Texas is in the process of adopting new English textbooks, and the publishers are going all out to "wine and dine" the people who will vote. I was invited to a presentation by one of them, and thought I would just go for the informational part, and then have dinner at home. I was expecting that the food provided would not be anything I could eat. Imagine my surprise and pleasure to find a lovely buffet with huge platters of boiled shrimp, beef kabobs, assorted cheeses, and fresh strawberries. They also had some little sandwiches, and I took a couple of those and ate just the meat, and left the bread. The coffee was excellent, with real cream, and I sprinkled a bit of sweetener on three of those big luscious strawberries for dessert. What a pleasant surprise, to find such a selection of low-carb goodies :) And on top of all that, I liked their presentation, and will seriously consider voting for their line of textbooks. All in all, quite a satisfying evening.
On the other hand: I will be a presenter next Saturday at a Young Writers' Workshop my district is sponsoring, and I found out the menu in advance--personal pan pizzas :( So will have to take my own food with me that day. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. The important thing is to plan ahead, and decide in advance what you will do when faced with these situations. I always have a little tote bag ready to go, with a packet of nuts, string cheese, and a bottle of water. Sometimes I add beef jerky, pork rinds, cans of vienna sausages or tuna, and those little individual packets of mustard and mayonaise. That way I am always prepared, if I can't eat what is offered, or if I am out shopping and get hungry. The less prepared you are, the easier it is to deviate from your eating plan. For me, this is now a way of life, not a temporary "diet" in the sense of something you try for a while, then discard. No matter what you do to lose weight, if you don't make permanent changes in your way of eating, you will regain whatever you lose. The deifinition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, and expecting to get different results." *L* I guess I was insane for ten years, since I kept trying different variations of low-calorie, low-fat diets, and just kept getting the same results. But I didn't know what else to do. Well....now I know. Low carb may not work for everyone, but it works for me. :)
Another thing that has kept me interested and motivated to continue this way of life is the recipes I have been collecting and creating. I am thinking about starting a section for recipes, but haven't figured out exactly how to do it yet. I think I would want to have a button on the main index (on the home page) marked "recipes," and then on the "recipes" page have a subdirectory of either the individual recipes, or at least an index of the different types--like "main dishes," "desserts," "appetizers," "soups, salads and sauces," and "vegetables." And a part with general notes about product substitutions, how to adapt a regular recipe to low-carb, sort of "kitchen tips" for the low-carb cook.
22 November: I have the most beautiful dress hanging in the front of my closet. I can't wait until the holidays to wear it. Cranberry velvet, size 16. I haven't been able to wear a size 16 in years. It may be the only size 16 in the State of Texas that I could wear, but I can wear *this* one. :)
I have been working on my recipe pages. It is a lot of work, and yet it will be worthwhile, to be able to share with my low carb friends the recipes I have collected. I still have hundreds to enter. I have recipes that don't fit any of the categories I currently have, such as breads, appetizers, beverages, and snacks. I also want to make notes of products, sources for ingredients used in low carb cooking, and things I have tried that work well--or don't :). I learn from my mistakes, and don't mind sharing those as well as my successes.
3 Dec. Marshmallow misstep from the thanksgiving weekend continues to haunt me. I keep having cravings for sweets, and was not having that before. I know lots of people who do deliberate "carb-up" days or weekends, and then get back on low carb, but I think that is not for me. I can't deal with having to go through induction over and over. I need to stay on plan consistently. I say that, and yet, I know that next summer when we go on the cruise, I will want to plan some deviations again, like last year. I feel so much better in so many ways, but still not as good as I would like to feel. I will have another checkup in a couple of months, and am going to ask dr. to do a complete thyroid panel. Since having thyroid removed, I feel more sluggish, less energetic, dry skin, etc. Not as bad as some people, but bad enough to think maybe a different medication would do better--armour natural thyroid, maybe, or levoxyl (not sure of spelling) might work better for me. Suzy Burlock posted something about her problems recently, and I feel that I have similar symptoms. Her web site is awesome---"the mask of obesity." I have learned a lot from her.
Journal entry 18 Dec. 1999: This has been a stressful week. Final exams for students, grades to average, shopping, wrapping gifts, cooking, and of course all the places to go, with all the various food temptations. And on top of all that, every morning a different department within the school bringing some kind of special treat for the holiday season. I guess it sounds strange to say, but I was sort of glad to wake up Tuesday with a sore throat. School nurse checked it, said it is a virus going around, and to gargle with warm salt water, and only eat soft foods easy to swallow. That certainly reduced the temptation to eat much of anything :). I went to Target last night and tried on jeans. Even though my new Christmas dress is a size 16, my bottom is still larger than my top, so I was surprised and pleased to find that I could get into and actually zip up a size 18 pair of Cherokee jeans. It has been many years since I could wear a size 18 in pants or jeans. Still not showing any more weight lost on the scale, but obviously my body is still in the process of reshaping. One of my on line friends said she dropped 4 sizes without showing any weight loss on the scale. Gaining muscle, losing fat. :) I haven't had time to work on recipes lately, but still collecting, and still plan to post more. Maybe with some time off this next week, I will be able to catch up.
22 December 1999 Journal entry: I have gastroenteritis, bronchitis, and upper respiratory infection. Dr. gave me a bunch of meds and told me not to worry about eating, but to drink as much liquid as possible. So I am drinking hot lemon flavored jello, and lots of sf seven-up, and shivering cold in front of a roaring fire, wrapped in a quilt. It's a good thing I got all my shopping and wrapping done early. I don't know how the meds will affect my weight, but for now I am mainly concerned with feeling better. Have done well on low carb for the holidays so far, hope I can continue. It has turned cold here, and frost on the grass and trees this morning. I am wishing all my dear friends a blessed Christmas and happy new year.
29 December 1999: This will be the last entry in this section. With the new year, I will begin another page in my journal. It feels good to look back over the entries here, and see that I have actually stayed with this way of life for a year. Even though I have a long way to go to achieve my weight goal, I feel so much better about myself, and my life in general. Some issues have been resolved; others are still in process. It's time to set new goals, and look at other aspects of my life that I would like to change. Physically, even though I am still dealing with the bronchial infection, overall my health is much better than last year. My doctor was pleased in general, and said that this infection would probably have been much more severe if I had not achieved improvement in my health overall. Emotionally, I feel more stable, and better able to weather the periodic depression, and hopeful that as I continue on this journey, the depressive episodes will become even milder and less frequent. Several people e-mailed me this week to tell me that they have read this journal and benefitted from it, identifying with many of my fears, hopes, frustrations, and successes. I hope this year will bring more success, more joy, and more peace to all my friends.
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