July 15, 1996- Monday - " Lily and I went to the Mormon Battalion Visitors Center in San Diego today to listen to the Conference talks of the General Authorities from April 1995. I had heard the conference talk of newly sustained President and Prophet of the Church, Gordon B. Hinckley.
I wanted Lily to listen to the talk as well as watch some videos concerning the First Vision, The Restoration of the Priesthood, and Windows of Heaven video concerning President Lorenzo Snow receiving the instructions from the Lord for the Church to tithe. She was having difficulty understanding the Law of Tithing. She had the missionary discussions to the Church but felt badly for how I was treated slowing down her proposed baptismal date.
I was especially prayerful when I heard President Hinckley speak of those people who had left
the Church. Though I represented a controversial group in and out of the Church I imagined that
he was speaking to me.
" All of us in this great cause are of one mind, one belief, of one faith. You have as great an opportunity for satisfaction in your performance of your duty as I do in mine. The progress of this work will be determined by our joint efforts. Whatever your calling, it is fraught with the same opportunity to accomplish good as mine. What is really important is that this is the work of the Master. Our work is to go about doing good as did He.If in my service, If I have offended anyone, I offer my apology.
To those of you who for any reason find yourselves outside the embrace of the Church you once
enjoyed, I invite you to return and partake of the happiness you once knew. You will find many
with outstretched arms to warmly welcome you and assist you. "
I hope that is what I have seen from the Mission Bay Ward discussion group or the one in Los Angeles. These groups were the only contact I had with the Church in these last sixteen years. When I am at these group meetings I feel like I am HOME.
But are they the outstretched arms?
Somewhere between a rock and a hard place is an answer. I believe that the only one that can
find that answer is the prophet of the Lord. I realize that the path appointed by our modern day
prophet is the main stream of Christianity but out stretched arms are outstretched arms. Can those
arms fall to their sides when the gay and lesbian persons crawls to them. Where are the good
samaritans? "
Dear President, Prophet and General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day
Saints,
We want to come home. Do you have a safe place for us? A place of honesty, truthful self-expression where none shall come to hurt or make afraid.
It is difficult to see the outstretched arms warmly welcoming me as yet. I saw the warmth of brotherly kindness in one member of the Bishopric who formed a discussion group for Gay and Lesbian Latter-Day Christians in the Mission Bay Ward. The group no longer meets.
I see the kindness and understanding of a very brave Stake President who began the group that meets in Los Angeles. It is the only warm welcome I have seen since leaving the Church that cold Christmas Eve in December 1980.
But this Christ like person has been removed for going the extra mile. The L.A. group is 200 miles away.
I need a place where my Priesthood and baptism may be restored. I do believe that this Place still needs to be created. I know I will recognize it when I see it for it shall welcome me like I am home. It could be a branch for Gay and Lesbian members.
Of all the people upon the face of the whole earth you are the only ones who can make that safe place for me.
I have found it in my own room kneeling before the Lord in prayer so often. I want to see it in the Church I love so much. The Church I still testify of, with its divine mission. If there may be a place for me to serve I wish to be at the side of my brothers and sisters who like myself are gay, lesbians and bi-sexual who have testimonies of the Restored Gospel.
I testify to the truthfulness of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. I sustain all the leaders of the Church as appointed stewards of the Lord Jesus Christ here on the earth. I know that Joseph Smith saw God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ in the Sacred Grove near Palmyra, New York in 1820. I know that President Spencer W. Kimball was a prophet of God.
I have learned from the counsel of Prophets and Apostles. I sustain all the General Authorities of the Church. I plead with all leaders in the Church everywhere, Find A Place For Us. Provide that safe place for us where we can speak the truth and enjoy the spirit of the Lord.
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Dear Heavenly Father, my creator, I submit myself to thy Kingdom upon the earth. What I felt in the Sacred Grove I realize is but a little of thy righteous power. I felt overwhelmed by my finite ablility to understand thy power and grandeur. Surely I learned that day how no unclean thing can enter thy presence. I feel that many things which occurred in my life can be discerned by thy leaders as being unclean. I am asking thee to teach me the way I may please thee and remain a warm loving person. I pray thee deliver me from a life devoid of intimacy. Thou hast given me my body which can express passion, do not ask me to spend my entire life with out passion. Thou has given me my daily bread, forgiven my trespasses. Give me the forsight to forgive those who I believed for one reason or another brought me to the valley of the shadow of death. For a wise and glorious purpose thou has placed me here on earth. Give me the length of life to accomplish thy work, and if it be thy will, help me find my appointed work. May I truly understand thy work in me, thy will be done. Forgive my many failures in character. Strengthen me through thy Holy Spirit to know the truth and live truthfully with others and before thee. Help me to be a better offspring of thy sacred Fatherhood. Forgive me now if anything I have said in this document has been offensive to thee. Bring me to a knowledge of the purposes of my existence. Bring me into a more positive day where in I may be a more productive citizen, father, and companion to those I love. Please remove my bitterness that I may love thee more perfectly and love others and myself. Allow me to serve thee, I pray thy will be done in the name of thy beloved son, Jesus Christ, Amen. |
I would like to close this work with words from the Doctrine and Covenants Section 121:41-46. It is the Priesthood that will eventually recieve the answers to all that has been said upon this subject. So it is to the Priesthood I humbly pray that my work has been said with love and respect for your holy calling but I hope, has pierced your hearts to the center.
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"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and love unfeigned; By kindness ,and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile- Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death. Let thy bowels also be full of charity toward all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever." |
God be with you till we meet again. By his counsels guide, uphold you; With his sheep securely
fold you. God be with you till we meet again! Till we meet at Jesus feet. God be with you till we
meet again!