As we loaded the groceries into the trunk I looked at the sky, it was so clear and flawless. My eyes squinted at the brightness and I brought my hand above them. I felt a light breeze, I felt like the beach. I had lost a lot of my color over the past couple days, holing it up in the house. I looked over to Taylor who was closing the trunk door.

"You're getting spacey on me." He looked at me, not sure of what response I'd give.

"Yeah. I feel like being alone." I didn't look down from the sky.

"Why?" My lowered my head and looked at him.

"I dunno. Maybe I'm just used to it."

"Huh, well I can check out the beach if you want to go off." He sounded unenthusiastic about that idea.

"Whatever, let's go home first." I climbed in and started the motor. Taylor followed, I could feel that he was mad. Ignoring him, I popped in a tape and turned it up, too loud for conversation. He angrily turned the volume knob down.

"No, what are we doing today? I came here for you, not the beach." I pulled back into the parking lot and turned off the engine.

"Well let's get one thing straight about me, right now. I like to be alone, I'm used to it, and when I want some privacy, I'm going to take it. I would want you to take your own too."

"So you don't want me around."

"No Taylor, I said that I wanted some time alone. Can't you respect that?"

"I can respect you taking some time to yourself, but we haven't been together for four years, I want to hear about what you've been doing, I want to find out about you. I don't understand why you don't feel the same way." My knuckles were white, clinging to the steering wheel, I stared straight ahead, not knowing what to say. Frustrated, angry and completely confused I felt a salty tear slid its' way out and fall onto my collarbone. His soft, heavy hand covered my tense one. "You have no clue what you're doing, do you?" I shook my head, sniffling. "You know what Laney?" I looked to his eyes, kind and clear. "Neither do I, so can we stop this? I think I love you so much, but I hardly know you." I raised my hand and wiped a salty droplet from my chin.

"Why?" I quietly murmured.

"Why what?"

"Why did you say that? Why would say that you thought you loved me?"

"Because I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop wanting to know every sign you throw off, and what it means, I can't stop wanting to ask you questions, I can't stop wanting to see you move." He paused, unsure of what to say. "I've never felt this way about anyone, and I don't know how to say how I feel about you. English calls it love, but I mean, I love my mom, and I don't feel the same way about you that I do about my mom, and she was the main woman in my life for 14 years, I mean the main female that meant the most to me, until Becky, and Becky is nothing compared to this, to you. And you, you make my stomach nervous when I see you, but I want to crawl in and find out what makes you... you. I need to know everything, and if you want to keep a part to yourself I'm going to feel like a piece is never going to be complete in my life. I mean, do you understand what you said, what that does to me?" I squirmed in my seat, sniffling and comprehending what he had just said. He reached with his fingertips and traced the path of my last tear down my face. I moved closer to him and our lips touched, quietly. His arms enveloped me and I grabbed to him. We held each other with death grips, not sure what we had tapped into, and not sure how to hold on to it.

As I guided the Wagoneer in my garage, Taylor hopped out to put his car into the empty space next to it, he fed Julian outside then found me. We brought in the groceries and sat down at the kitchen table when we finished, unsure of what we would do for the rest of the afternoon. Healthy summer light burst through my home, and my thoughts went to earlier in the morning, in the tangle of sheets and the morning sheen his skin had adopted from the sweat we'd created. My thoughts resurfaced and I found Taylor smiling at me.

"You know, we should start the stromboli." I mused.

"Yeah, we should." His voice was monotone. I crossed the table to his side and stood in front of him.

"Start now?"

"Naw." He brought my waist closer to him with his hands, lifting my shirt, exposing my untanned stomach. He kissed my stomach lightly, and the butterflies came back in an instant. His tongue playfully licked my stomach and I drew my breath in quickly. His kisses grew longer, and moved upwards, my hands went in his hair as I brought him down on the kitchen floor with me. His hands moved underneath my bra, tracing the line of fabric. My hands moved to his warm back, reaching further down. My legs held him tightly as I wriggled out of my shirt and bra and grabbed his shirt off and over his head. He kicked off his shoes as took his mouth and gave him the most committed deep throated kiss I knew could be given. As our lips parted, his eyes looked into mine.

"We do okay together, you know that?"

"Yeah." I smiled and took his mouth again, he worked with my pants and I let go of his body to get out of them and tugged his shorts off, as I felt his sex through his boxers I rubbed closer to him. He moaned softly, I split my legs and pulled the boxers off in one motion. His mouth went to my chest as I grabbed his head and shoved him into me. We worked together again, the intensity was greater and we rode with it, treasuring every movement made together. Our faces met, and we saw the sweat bead and drop. He raised himself with his arms, becoming almost forceful, I grabbed his back, welcoming it. I thought I had died when I came, the feeling was above anything I had ever felt. I thought I had died and reached somewhere not of this earth, everything we tried was of the mystery and muscle of our love. And everything we tried was right.

As we laid on the deliciously cool tile floor, our bodies still steaming and charged, we looked at one another. I brought his fingers to my lips, kissed them, and moved closer to him.

"I'll let you in, I will, I promise." I whispered to him.

"Will you?"

"Yes." He kissed my forehead gently. "I will."