1. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

2. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

3. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

4. It is wrong ever to split an infinitive.

5. Contractions aren't necessary.

6. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

7. One should never generalize.

8. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

9. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

10. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

11. Profanity sucks.

12. Be more or less specific.

13. Understatement is always best.

14. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical sentences?

21. Avoid alliteration. Always.

22. Avoid cliches like the plague. They're old hat.

23. Employ the vernacular.

24. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

25. No sentence fragments.

26. It behooves us to avoid archaisms.

27. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

28. Don’t use no double negatives.

29. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: Resist hyperbole.

30. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

31. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

32. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

33. Writing carefully, dangling participles should not be used.

34. Kill all exclamation points!!!

35. Never use a long word where a diminutive one will do.

36. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

37. Take the bull by the hand, and don’t mix metaphors.

38. Don’t verb nouns.

39. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

40. Last but not least, and if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, avoid cliches like the plague.

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