Signs of Our Times

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Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.

 

In a Tokyo Hotel:

        Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not a  

        person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

 



In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

       The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we 

       regret that you will be unbearable.

 



In a Leipzig elevator:

       Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

 



In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

       To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin 

       should enter more persons, each one should press a number of 

       wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by 

       national order.

 



In a Paris hotel elevator:

       Please leave your values at the front desk.

 



In a hotel in Athens:

       Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the 

       hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

 



In a Yugoslavian hotel:

       The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the 

       chambermaid.

 



In a Japanese hotel:

       You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

 



In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox  

monastery:

       You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and 

       Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except 

       Thursday.

 



In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

       Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the 

       boots of ascension.

 



On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

       Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

 



On the menu of a Polish hotel:

       Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy 

       dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; 

       beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

 



Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

       Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

 



In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

       Drop your trousers here for best results.

 



Outside a Paris dress shop:

       Dresses for street walking.

 



In a Rhodes tailor shop:

       Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute 

       customers in strict rotation.

 



Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:

       There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet 

       Republic painters and sculptors.  These were executed over the 

       past two years.

 



A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:

       It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that 

       people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live 

       together in one tent unless they are married with each other 

       for that purpose.

 



In a Zurich hotel:

       Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the 

       opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be 

       used for this purpose.

 



In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

       Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

 



In a Rome laundry:

       Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having 

       a good time.

 



In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

       Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no 

       miscarriages.

 



Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

       Would you like to ride on your own ass?

 



In a Swiss mountain inn:

       Special today -- no ice cream.

 



In a Bangkok temple:

       It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed 

       as a man.

 



In a Tokyo bar:

       Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

 



In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

       We take your bags and send them in all directions.

 



On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

       If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to 

       it.

 



In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

       Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

 



In a Budapest zoo:

       Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable 

       food, give it to the guard on duty.

 



In the office of a Roman doctor:

       Specialist in women and other diseases.

 



In an Acapulco hotel:

       The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

 



In a Tokyo shop:

       Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are 

       best in the long run.

 



From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air  

conditioner:

       Cooles and Heates:  If you want just condition of warm in your 

       room, please control yourself.

 



From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

       When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  

       Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles 

       your passage then tootle him with vigor.

 



Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

       -   English well talking.

       -   Here speeching American.