Blackout

New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
cause i stay away from dairy,
La-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Snowman

I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen
La-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Cremated mother

And my mother's ashes
Even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jaaaar...

My Coma Guy

You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brain waves
I'll be there to hold your hand
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have got to say..

Babies

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry and you cry

Farmyard Animals

Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo
Then the farmer hits him on the head with a hammer
And grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers
Nowwwww chicken!

In the Shower

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled backward is nirget
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
( pause )
As needed

Terry

Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!
( time passes by )
And you're all invited to bite me!

Smelly Cat

(Chorus)
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
it's not your fault

They won't take you the vet
You're obviously not their favourite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses

(Repeat Chorus)

Grandma

Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes
She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died and someday you will too
La-la-la-la-la-la...

Don't

There'll be times when you get older
And you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But Don't
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do

Bi-sexuals

Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
Then there are the bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La-la-la-la-la...

Don't

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up to resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry

Two of Them Kissed ( Last Night )

There was a girl. We'll call her Betty,br> And a guy. Let's call him Neil
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real

Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call... Lulie
He MUST decide, he MUST decide
Even though I made him up, he MUST decide...