A Family Dinner

Yesterday I invited my parents and my brother Erick over for dinner. This was a very special event, since Erick lives in California and I usually see him twice a year at most. I was rather anxious about the dinner preparations because I wanted to show my brother how special it was for me to see him and to honor him with a good home-cooked meal. My mother is also a fantastic cook, so my family has very high standards when it comes to the quality of our food. Lastly, I had the challenge of making this meal different from the one I had prepared a few weeks ago for a joint birthday celebration for my father and my father-in-law.

I think the food turned out well, but I'm not so sure about the socializing. Erick stayed with me in the kitchen as I prepared dinner -- baked chicken with an Asian-style glaze of my own invention, New Orleans-style red beans-and-rice, and a tossed salad with cherry tomatoes and a mixture of grated parmesan and shredded mozzarella for topping -- but we didn't get beyond small talk. We talked a little bit about work projects, the TV programs we like, and what we do in our spare time, but we didn't have the opportunity to discuss anything profound. I didn't ask him about how he feels living so far away from us -- is he lonely, happy, anxious, or what? -- whether or not he's been looking for a significant other, or how he feels about the growing number of minor health problems our parents seem to be having. I don't think it was the right situation to ask him such personal questions, but I'm not sure I would have discussed such intimate issues with him even if we had been talking in private. I think I can still get away with being as nosy as I want with Erick, but I do feel we have been drifting apart a little since we don't see each other often and don't write each other much.

I want to reverse this trend. I want to stay in close touch with my brother; he is the only sibling I have. Perhaps we should try to set a regular schedule to write each other and keep up with each other's lives? I think it is important for us to communicate regularly so we don't feel like strangers whenever we get together in person. My husband Chris and I also threw out the possibility of visiting Erick for a few days next January. Even though my brother has been living in California for several years already, we have not yet seen his place. This is mainly because our son A.J. has hampered our ability to travel over the past few years. But A.J. will be turning three this November, and I think it is time to make some changes in the way Erick and I interact. Hopefully he will agree.