Forgiveness and Self-humility

Letting go of anger and resentment can be a powerful step in the road to recovery. The ability to forgive is woven into the statements of AA. Although the term "forgiveness" is not used in the twelve steps, its meaning is apparent in the teachings and beliefs of the founders of the movement.

We must be able to forgive ourselves for the pain and suffering we have inflicted on our own bodies and lives. If we are unable to do so we may not be able to continue on the steps ahead. This is many time a process that may take a long period of time to accomplish. Quite often this pain was caused by actions carried out over many years.

We may feel that a loss of power is involved in these admissions of wrong doings, weather real or only percieved. We may need to seek forgiveness from those who we have harmed, lied to, or alienated by our actions, deeds, and attitudes.

Forgiveness can be a powerful healing agent. Sometimes it can be a starting block to a long series of steps. Or, it can be the completion of a process that has evolved or taken place for some time. Whether it is the end result or the beginning step, is is an act that may be essential in ones recovery.

The idea of self humility can be confusing. We are often proud of our accomplishments and acheivements, and the continued sobriety of oneself is a goal to be proud of. This must be balanced with the sometimes over-inflated ego and conciet that may be result when you are feeling succesful. Being too sure of yourself can often lead to lapses in judgement. The idea that everything is rosy so no need to be on guard has led to many failures.

Continued sobriety does not just come naturally, it has to be maintained by on-going self examination and review and critical assesmenmts of ones actions. While this may not mean an intense scrutiny of yourself, it does mean to be on the guard for slips and negative actions and self destructive deeds that can be sometimes easily resumed.

Continued sobriety is a goal to be aimed for, and can be quite satisfying and helpful in your plans. We should be able to take pride in our actions and successes that we have created for ourselves.

"I am experiencing this constant feeling of growth... it's not grandiosity, it's a feeling of being a more whole complete person. Two years of waiting is a long time, but I've realized that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful." Quoted from Pete Townshend in the book "The Courage to Change".

Waiting can be a part of self humility. You cannot expect things to just happen as quickly as you want them to. If you are able to accept and appreciate to small succeses, the larger accomplisments will be even more rewarding. Would we be as quick to notice and acknowelege our steps towards sobriety if we were unable to enjoy the small successes, with the promise of more success if we are patient, and work towards a better life.

The line of "All good things come to those who wait.", comes to mind here. If we do not expect immediate perfection, and are willing to see the small advancements as they appear, we will appreciate the outcome even more.


© 1995 PK Productions

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