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Saturday, June 21, 1997
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KICKSTARTING THE... SOUVLAKI? (1/1)
by Kelly Green, Julia Kocich, Leslie GrantSmith
with assistance from Spifff and Mel
Time: Before "M&M Madness"; synchronous with "The Ride of the Valkyries"


Kelly and Julia peered through the windshield of the Mercedes that Don
Constantine had so graciously lent them, the windshield wipers keeping 
tempo to a lively Mozart piece.  Horses were a wonderful thing, but 
their reception on the classical station lacked a certain something. 
Volume, for instance. To say nothing of their... emission controls, 
and lack thereof.

The two UFfers had decided to meet the representatives of the NNP at 
the Happy Souvlaki, thus canvassing two factions simultaneously for 
KtK signatures.

Through the rain streaked window of the Happy Souvlaki, Kelly saw her
colleagues in civilian life, Mel and Sky, sitting at a window booth, 
with two menus floating in the air before them. "This must be the 
place," said Kelly, as she prepared to meet Don Schanke, ghost, and 
a pair of Nick and Natpackers. It was a tough call to decide which 
was... harder to fathom.

She sighed resolutely. "Well, if we must, we must. Sure they're 
Nick and Natpackers, but they're still people...." Her voice trailed off.

As Kelly and Julia stepped out of the Mercedes, the well-muscled driver 
said, "*If* you ladies need anything ..." He opened the door, holding an
umbrella over their heads to fend off the early summer drizzle.

"This could get very confusing, you know--dealing with Don, the ghost, 
and Don, the ... Don," Julia whispered to Kelly. It had been bad enough, 
running into Lacroix in the hotel, but then to find herself under 
the--mostly--paternal attention of another vampire: it was just too 
much. And she wasn't at all sure about the ... status of their 
chauffeur, either. She looked forward to meeting an FK character who 
was ... undead, but in quite a different way.

As they entered the Happy Souvlaki, the little bell dangling from the 
hinge jingled as the door closed behind them.  Julia recognized Spifff,
Johan and Charles from their dazzling Hawaiian moose shirts. "Hey, FoDs, 
how you doin'? I'm Julia, and this is Kelly." From the looks on their 
faces, she gathered that well-muscled chauffeurs were not a frequent 
sight at the Happy Souvlaki.

Kelly handed the FoDs a gift. It was the only Elvis item she had been 
able to find: a Ken doll, dressed in the white sequined jumpsuit, 
holding a guitar. "Way cool, thanks," said Johan, showing it to the 
others.

* "Hey, glad to meetcha," * said a voice moving in from behind Julia's 
right ear. Then she felt an invisible hand take hers in a hearty 
handshake. "Uh, gee, it's nice to meet you too, Don ... may I call you 
Don, Don?" How was one supposed to address a ghost, anyway? Mister? 
Detective? Nah ...

Kelly moved over to the window booth. She took off her coat and slid 
into the booth opposite the two members of the NNP. Julia slid in 
beside her.

"Soo," Kelly said, "We know you're going to attack us, you know you're
going to attack us, you know that we know about the attack, and we 
know you know we know it," she grinned at them.  "For such knowledgable 
people we're either complete idiots to allow a meeting on the eve of 
a skirmish, or very brave."

She leaned in a bit, "I don't suppose you'll hand over Carrie?"

Mel said quickly, "She's being deprogrammed. We're seeing to it that
she returns to her true faction, and acknowledges the one true 
relationship in Forever Knight - that Nick and Nat belong 
together - forever."

The teacher sat back and regarded them for a moment, then raising an 
eyebrow. "Fair enough - for the time being," adding under her breath,
"That's *almost* revenge enough for me."

Then Kelly smiled warmly. In another few days the WAR would end, they 
would once again be sisters in arms in the KtK campaign and would be
playing on the same side.

Julia started to explain their purpose. "I know this is War, and the 
UF has a slightly... disreputable reputation. That's a strange way of 
putting it...," she lapsed into silent consideration of the vagaries 
of the English language, until Kelly elbowed her. "Uh, oh, sorry... 
The lack of circadian clues plays havoc with one's sleep cycles..." 
Kelly rolled her eyes. "Yes, anyway... Kelly has come up with an idea 
about the Rift which pertains to FK, and, more precisely, the lack 
thereof."

* "Lady, couldja try that again? Sheesh... And, like, in English, 
this time?" * said an exasperated but friendly, if disembodied, voice 
next to the booth.

The group look at Julia, dubiously. What was she trying to say? Kelly 
saw that her well-intentioned but temporally confused friend had not 
gotten the message across. Luckily she had been studying "Juliabonics" 
at the "UF School of Foreign Languages".

"What she means is that I have a theory," she said, her eyebrows 
raising, "a theory I think you will appreciate. The Warminstress has 
posted her Reason, but I think I know the *real* source of the 
confusion that led to .... " She waved her arms to include all the 
assembled Warriors, and the Souvlaki itself.

She told the assembled NNPs and FoDs about administratium.

"No!" Mel blurted out, then remembering herself, looked thoughtful for 
a long moment. It *could* be true - the administratium theory. In a 
perverse way it made sense - that all of this, this, this...this might 
be the result of the imaginations of crapulous intermediaries at some 
network demographics meeting from hell - it might be true. And, even 
if it *wasn't* the cause, the least they could do, since they were all 
gathered in Toronto anyway, was to write letters and sign the KtK 
fliers, and work--together--to Kickstart the Knight.

* "You mean, by signing these fliers, you reverse this 'admini-hoo-ha,' 
and FK might come back?" * asked the voice.

"We hope so, yes," replied Kelly, hoping she was looking in the 
direction of the voice - and thinking that she could *almost* see it - 
he was *almost* like the Cheshire Cat.

* "And at the same time, the Earth starts making its rounds again, the
Rift is un-Rifted and all these weirdos running around do what? The 
Time Warp?" *

The visible presences at the table looked at one another. Who knew 
what would happen to all the FK characters now in Toronto, if KtK were
successful?

"Well," said Kelly, slowly, "well, I suppose so. I mean, they're from
alternative worlds in the Time-Space continuum.  They'd all just ... go
home."  She and Julia shared a glance with a certain pang.

The table fell into a shared silence.

* "Well, okie-dokie, then," * said the voice briskly. * "It's not like 
you FK folks aren't used to saying 'hasta la bye-bye' to guys you wish 
would hang around." *

"We're not *used* to it," ground out Spifff.  "We fight it every step 
of the way."

* "Yeah, I noticed that." * The grin was evident in the voice. * "Geez,
whadda bunch of old sour-pusses.  You guys are out-Nicking Nick. Sheesh.
Go grab a souvlaki and a brewski and some pens and write the darn 
letters. Here, I'll dictate...  'Dear PTB, get up off your sorry 
asses--'  Oh, can we say that in PG-13?" *

Grinning, the assembled Warriors got up, got food, beers and pens and 
began to write.


The End (of this story, not of KtK)


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CALLIN' ON THE COUSINS (1/1)

By Laurey (Fenris)  
with gracious assistance from Leslie Grant Smith
Time: Same as Kickstarting the Souvlaki

The silver Porsche made a tight turn into the CERK parking lot.
Laurey backed up and parked it in a slot facing outward toward the street. 

Leslie looked at her and she shrugged with a wry half-smile.

"We might need to leave in a hurry.  I have to admit, I'm getting
a bit nervous about this now. "

"Now is not a good time to be saying that, Laurey," said Leslie,
starting to grin nervously. "About five miles back would have been the
optimum time to say something like that."

"You really are worried about the General, aren't you? Is he really
going to be that mad at you for being with us this War?  I mean, we're
really related to the Cousins, aren't we?  We just take a different focus
on how we're helping the General achieve his goals, right?  The most
important goal?"  Leslie looked at her.  Oh, her new friend still had *so*
much to learn about War!   Laurey, although having proved a good comrade
so far, was still naive about a lot of things - for one, she had never
been faced with an angry General before, (as Leslie had, and she 
shuddered at the memory) nor had she dealt with any of the Cousins 
during a War.  Maybe it had been a mistake to let her volunteer to come 
with her - the job might have been better left to one of the others who 
had experience in dealing with the people who inhabited CERK...

"Earth to Leslie, come in Hale-Bopp pilots... the IRS wants a word
with you before you leave the atmosphere..."  A hand waved in front of
her face, and Leslie realized that Laurey was looking at her with concern.

"Sorry, Leslie, were you having a flashback?  I know it's addictive and 
all, but we really ought to go in, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess we should.  I just---"     THUD!  A heavy weight landed
on top of the roof, and a white face pressed up against the windshield,
inches away from the two women, white hands splayed out on either side
of the face. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!,"  said Laurey and Leslie 
as they simultaneously shot up out of their seats, banged their heads 
on the roof and dropped back down into the seats.  As she came back 
down, Laurey's hand smashed down the horn button.   HOOOONK!!!
The face, which had been grinning in at them, squashed grotesquely up
against the glass, jerked back and withdrew to the roof.  Tybalt and Perry
erupted into furious barking in the back seat, Perry trying to lunge between
the two women into the front of the car. 

"I'm not nervous anymore," snarled Laurey as she jerked the door open
in a blind rage.  She leaped out and bellowed at the figure standing on top
of the car,   "YOU JERK!!! YOU STUPID @#&%$@#$&@#!! I'M GOING
TO *KILL* YOU!  GET OFF THAT #$^&*$%## CAR BEFORE I BEAT YOU SO
HARD YOUR KIDS WILL BE BORN BLACK AND BLUE!!!!

Leslie scrambled out of her side of the car, thinking frantically 'It 
can't be the General, he's never do anything that high-school, it has to 
be one of the Cousins, it has to be.'  Then hard on the heels of that 
thought, 'Well, this is going really well so far--.'

A tawny blur burst out of the car and Leslie had the presence of mind 
to throw her arms around Perry as the furious vampire Golden lunged up 
at the roof of the car.  She found herself airborne for a split second,
then touched ground again, holding Perry like a dance partner as the 
dog growled and squirmed.  A furry black cat-sized torpedo shot out of 
the other side of the car, hit the ground, spun and leaped up onto the 
roof of the car.  The figure in black yelled, leaped off of the car 
and hit the ground running, the snarling Schipperke hanging from its 
backside, white teeth flashing in the fluorescent parking lot light.  
(Now Leslie had a much better picture of what their Lacroix had been 
talking about earlier, and had to grin, despite the dimensions of
the disaster that seemed to be unfolding before her eyes.)

"Laurey, NO!"  Leslie yelled.  The other UFfer stopped in mid-swing, and
let the tire-iron that she was in the process of throwing at the retreating
figure fall at her side.  She turned to face Leslie, breathing hard. 

With a rip of cloth, Tybalt dropped to the ground behind the running
figure, and their erstwhile greeting committee disappeared inside the 
CERK doors, slamming them shut behind him or her.  Tybalt trotted back 
to the two women, a palm-sized scrap of black cloth clenched in his 
teeth.  Perry ran over to him and started sniffing the cloth intently.

"Well, they know we're here," said Laurey.

"That's what I'm afraid of," said Leslie.  She looked at Laurey. Laurey 
looked back at her.  They stared silently at each other.  Perry
and Tybalt scratched at the CERK door, growling.   A minute passed.
A pigeon, disturbed from his roost by the fracas, fluttered down to the
pavement a few feet away from them and began walking in circles, cooing and
bobbing his head.  A McDonald's Happy Meal container blew across the
parking lot. 

The two women both took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly.
"Naaaaaahhh." They turned as one and walked quickly back to the Porsche.

"Leslie, you write the note, I'll bundle up the flyers with some bungee
cords."

"Gotcha."

Leslie opened her notebook and began to scribble furiously. Laurey 
dived behind the back seat and started rummaging through assorted car 
paraphernalia, fished out a couple of bungee cords and began stacking
the flyers on the hood of the car.

Approximately one minute later, they deposited their bundle in front of 
the CERK entrance, Leslie's note firmly tucked under the topmost bungee
cord.  They ran back to the Porsche, ushered the dogs frantically back into
the car,  jumped in and roared out of the parking lot at high speed.  
Perry rested his head on the back seat, growling softly and casting 
unloving looks back in the direction of the radio station.

About three blocks away, Laurey eased up on the accelerator, and the 
two UFfers finally let out their breath.

"They'll find the note, won't they?"  Leslie was looking a bit guilty.

"Oh, sure, they couldn't miss it."

"Good. I feel like a wimp, but I had a really bad feeling about hanging 
around in that parking lot any longer."

"I can't imagine why!"

"How fast can this thing go, anyway?"

As they turned on to the street that ran through the downtown area, Laurey
suddenly said, "Why do pigeons bob their heads like that, anyway?"

"You're the bird watcher."  Leslie shrugged.

"Even Audubon doesn't know that.    You know what, Leslie?" An odd tone 
crept into Laurey's voice.  Leslie looked at her a bit apprehensively.

"No..., what?"

"I just thought of something.  What if that wasn't a Cousin on the car?"

Leslie frowned.  "*What*?"

"I mean, no one came out to check us out.  We really didn't get a look
at him or her.  What if..." her tone took on a dark, speculative flavor,
"What if it was some homicidal maniac packing a big kitchen carving 
knife who just happened to be looking for victims in the parking lot 
when we happened along? I mean, I'd run for the nearest door and pray 
that it was open too if I had two nasty dogs on my heels.  What if 
there's a homicidal wacko loose in the CERK station right now, with 
all the unsuspecting Cousins and the CERK Lacroix?"

They considered this for a moment.  A big grin spread across Leslie's
face, then Laurey's.  Starting to laugh, they sang in unison: "Pooooor, 
poor homicidal wacko!"


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RIDE OF THE ULF VALKYRIES (1/3)
By all the ULFfers
Time: after "To Rift or to Write"


A strange quiet came over the roomful of Uffers as everyone seemed to 
be drifting off in their own thoughts.  How were they going to go about 
contacting *all* of the other factions and gain their confidence
that this letter writing business was in earnest and not some kind of 
trick? The job seemed overwhelming.  

Laurey reached down into her backpack and pulled out a small wooden 
paddle with four carved wooden chickens on top of it.  A string ran 
from each chicken down through a hole in the center of the paddle and 
connected with a wooden ball.

The others looked at her.  This was new.  Up to now, Laurey had seemed 
like a normal, sane person.  As they watched, she gently moved the 
paddle in a circular motion.  The wooden ball underneath began to move
in a circle, and the chickens started pecking at the cracked corn that 
was glued to the paddle.  Click, click, click, click.  She watched the 
chickens as they pecked, seemingly oblivious to all else.  Click, 
click, click, click, click.

After about thirty seconds, Jules grated out, being as polite as 
possible, for her,  "Laurey. Dear. I can't *even* begin to tell you how 
annoying that is."

"You're not kidding!" April exclaimed, rubbing her fingers against her
forehead.  "It's enough to give someone a headache."

Laurey looked up from her mesmerized contemplation of the pecking 
chickens, looked at Jules and April for a moment, then burst out 
laughing. "Okay.  Sorry, it helps me think sometimes, it's kind of 
like a meditation thing.  You're right, it is annoying."

This seemed to bring everyone out of their subdued moods, and they all 
straightened up and looked at each other.  They had their second wind 
now.  Sukh took a deep breath and stood up, running a hand through her 
curly red-blonde hair.

"Okay," Sukh said, "if we are going to get these letters done, we need 
a way to spread out and blanket the city."

"The van is a good idea."

"Nah it'll take too long."  Sukh was staring out the window, watching 
the moon glint off the tin roof off the stable.  "Horses."

Jules cocked her head at Sukh, one eyebrow arched in fine LaCroixian 
fashion. "What do you mean horses?"

Sukh turned to face the rest of the ULFfers, sly grin on her face.  A 
grin that usually means trouble.  "How many of you guys can ride?"

Everyone looked blankly at each other, then slowly, Leslie, Jules, 
Wendy, April and Laurey raised their hands.  After a moment, Susan 
raised her hand too.  Michelle shrugged and said, "Not really, but I 
always wanted to learn."

"You may just get your chance, " said Sukh.  "See what you think of 
this."  She went on to elaborate on her sudden brainstorm.

Leslie shook her head.

"Nope, sorry, I think that is a totally insane idea. We could get in
a world of trouble for that."

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Laurey and Sukh walked into the room.  Sukh was wearing a black silk 
V-necked top under her leather vest, an outfit known to bring male 
dancers their knees. Laurey was wearing a clingy black long-sleeved 
top that was cut dangerously low.  Both sported black riding breeches 
and rubber knee high riding boots.

"Okay, let's go."

"I thought we wanted to get our pictures taken with some Mounties,
not get some to come home with us,"  said Leslie, her tone suspicious.
"We *are* just going there to sightsee, right?"

"Of course."

"Good.  I'm going to go get my stuff."  Leslie walked out, casting 
suspicious looks back at the two salaciously dressed women.  As soon 
as she was out of earshot, Sukh looked at the others.

"Okay, distraction factors ready.  What do you all think?"  Everyone
nodded.  Toby looked over and nodded. 

"Trust me. It'll work."  

"Thanks!" Laurey said brightly, looking pleased.  "Okay, let's go!"
Michelle looked at the doorway Leslie had gone through, and said,  "Hey,
is this, you know, right?  Leslie really sounds like she has severe 
doubts about this." 

Sukh waved her hand.  "She'll love it once we get started.  It's like
swimming in cold water, you hate it, but after someone pushes you in 
and you get over the shock, it's a lot of fun."

"Yeah, she'll either love it or kill us all," April remarked as they
headed out the door.


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RIDE OF THE ULF VALKYRIES (2/3)
A UF group effort
Set before and during "A Hive Away from Home (Far Away...)"


(We find our heroes in the stables of the RCMP.)

"Now what do we do?" Michelle asked as she noted the two
Mounties guarding the stables.

Sukh looked at Laurey.  They grinned at each other.  "Time for the
old secret weapons."

Jules shook her head and grinned.  "I can't wait to see this."

Sukh smiled.  "They'll never know what hit them."  She looked at the 
black clad raiders.  "First though we need to get down what to do once 
we get in.  Jules, chose the best horses, we need eight. Susan can help 
with that.  Jen, find saddles.  You and Michelle can tack up the 
horses.  Jennifer and April can help.  We have to get them tacked up 
as quickly as possible.  I told Leslie that I was hoping for some... 
private time with any Mountie I happened to meet, and to whistle if 
anyone happened by.  So as not to be embarrassed."

"She believed you..?" Jules asked, brows lifting in disbelief.

"I dunno.  But I happened to wonder aloud if any variant Lacroixs or
Nicks had shown up as RCMPs and wouldn't they look spiffy in those 
uniforms, especially if they walked by together.  She seemed... 
distracted as I left.  But at least she'll be keeping a sharp look
out."

Then Sukh unbuttoned the top few buttons of her silk shirt and stood, 
running her sweating palms down her black riding pants clad leg.  She 
leaned over and plumped up the weapons until they peaked over the top 
of her black lace bra then unzipped a bit of her leather vest.  
Laurey did a similar maneuver, then they walked off.

"Excuse me?" Sukh hailed the Mountie, putting on her helpless female 
act and standing to thrust her weapons out at the man.  He wasn't in 
Dress Reds, but the well-developed young man looked good anyway.

"Ma'am?"  He stopped her.  "Are you authorized to be here?"

"I am so lost."  She giggled and fluttered her eyelashes.  He looked
down for a moment and was hypnotized.  Sukh dropped the air head 
routine, signaled to the waiting UFfers, and led him, still staring 
at her bust to a dark corner where she used a nerve pinch on him.  
Good thing she watched those Star Trek re-runs, she thought as he 
dusted off her hands and went into the stables.

Laurey had watched Sukh as she led her lamb off to the slaughter. Then 
she'd turned and  approached the other Mountie, a nice looking young 
man who looked to be in his late twenties.  As she approached, her 
demeanor changed.  Her eyes got a little wider, her walk became more 
hesitant, a shy, admiring smile crept over her expression.  Looking 
at the officer like he was Mad Max come to rescue her from the 
Motorcycle Mutant Gang, she spoke in a soft, husky, slightly timid 
voice, as if amazed at her own boldness in speaking to such a great 
big formidable handsome man.

"Um, excuse me officer, I'm really sorry to bother you but... oops!"
As she took her hands out of her jeans pockets, a big handful of 
change scattered on  the ground.  "Ohhhh. 'scuse me," Laurey said 
to the Mountie, then bent over and started picking her change up off 
the ground, her cleavage aimed directly at the officer.  He stared, 
then hastened over to help her.  She smiled sweetly at him. "Thank 
you, you don't have to... I'm such a klutz..."

The Mountie, who was kneeling on the ground groping for coins looked 
up and said directly into her cleavage, "No problem, Ma'am, it's a 
slow night here.  What are you doing here?  This area isn't really 
safe for you to be out alone in."

Jules, who had peeked around the corner to watch the two Distracters 
at their work shook her head in disbelief.  She didn't know which was 
scarier, the unnerving change in Laurey, or the fact that the Mountie
was obviously eating it up with a spoon, fork, chopsticks and any 
other utensil she could think of.  Laurey looked as if she might 
burst into tears.

"Somebody stole my car.  I was looking for a pay phone, and I am just 
totally lost.  I know it's a big favor, but could I maybe... is there 
a phone in your office I could use?  Could I maybe wait there until 
a taxi gets here?"  The officer beamed at her and stood up, holding 
out a hand to help her to her feet.

"Oh sure, no problem.  My office is right in the admin building here,
I'll take you in there and show you how to get an outside line."

She smiled brilliantly at him, projecting grateful adoration.

"Thank you so much! This is so nice of you. I was so scared walking 
around out here."  She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm 
and walked very close to his side as they went into the 
administration building.  Jules could practically see the thought
balloon over his head saying "Score!"


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RIDE OF THE ULF VALKYRIES (3/3)
A UF group effort
Set before and during "A Hive Away from Home (Far Away...)"


"No, Michelle, the bridle goes over the horse's *face*," Jules
whispered as she showed her friend the proper way to put a bridle
on.

Susan whispered, "Hand me a bridle.  This horse seems a calm and quiet 
type."

"Here, Susan," April whispered back as she handed the double bridle to 
her friend.  Turning toward the tack that she'd dropped outside the 
stall, she looked back and asked, "You do know how to tack up a horse,
don't you, Susan?"

"Yeah, sure.  This metal thing goes in its mouth and these leather 
pieces go behind its ears.  Right?" Susan replied, holding the bit in
front of the horse's mouth.

"Susan, he won't just open his mouth and take the bit.  You have to
encourage him a little," April replied, moving into the stall to help.
"They're kinda like guys.  Here, watch..."

April took the bridle and slowly brought the bridle close to the
gelding's mouth.  Slipping a couple fingers into his mouth, the horse
opened up and April guided the bit into place, then pulled the ear
piece over and settled it all comfortably on the big bay's head.  "Can
you manage the rest okay?"

"Sure, it's just been a while, that's all," Susan whispered, as she
fastened all the buckles that were on the bridle.

"Okay, I'm going to go work on that bald faced bay over there.
You need any help, you come get me, okay?" April quietly said,
moving to the stall across from where Susan worked.

"Whoa, son.  You're a beauty, aren't you?" April cooed to the big
horse.  Slipping the double bridle on, she quickly fastened
everything and reached for the riding pad.  Attaching the tie down
to the girth, she tightened the buckles on the saddle and chest strap
and led the bay out of his stall.

At that point, Laurey strode back into the stables, looked at her
friends and dusted her hands off dramatically.  "All done."

Michelle asked, "He's not coming back out?"

Laurey smiled a bit smugly and said in an Irish brogue, "Oh aye,
he's havin' a wee nap in his oul' office, he is."

Jules snorted and said, "Laurey, I need some insulin after that
performance."

Laurey shrugged, grinning.  "What can I say, I watched too many
Marilyn Monroe movies as a kid.  The helpless heaving bosom usually 
does the trick.  He offered to drive me home, but I wanted to pick 
out my own horse.  He'll be waking up soon, so we should hurry.  I 
did yank out the phone jack and squirt super-glue into the lock on 
his office door, but I might have missed something.  Sukh, your 
guy?"

Sukh grinned and made a circle with thumb and forefinger. "Dreaming 
in the alley.  We're cleared for takeoff, children!"

"Are you ready, Susan?" April asked, looking toward her as Michelle 
finished tacking her horse and led him out.  Jules and Jen were almost 
ready too.  It was almost time to ride!

"April, what do I do with this?" Susan asked.  She had several straps 
laying in her hand, with a worried look on her face.

"Here, you hold him, while I finish this," April said, handing the 
reins to her friend.

Sukh hurried by and asked, "Are you nearly ready?"

"Yeah, just a couple more buckles and we'll be ready to go," April
replied as Susan nodded in agreement.

Pulling the girth tight, April pushed her knee into the big bay's side,
forcing him to release the breath he had sucked in.  April grinned as
she tightened the buckles and gently slapped him on the shoulder.
"My boy back home liked to do that too, you old reprobate," she
whispered with affection.

Leading the black faced bay out of his stall, April handed the reins
to Susan while she mounted.  Taking them back, she hauled her friend 
up onto her bald faced gelding and waited for Susan to settle
comfortably in behind her.

Sukh decided on a somewhat suspicious looking brown gelding.
"Don't worry, sweetie.  I won't hurt you," she crooned as she led
him to a tack room.  After throwing on the saddle and making sure
all was tight she mounted up.  The horse pranced in a tight circle as
the other UFfers got settled on the horses.

"Hey, Michelle, you should make sure that one isn't holding his
breath," Sukh warned her as she inserted her foot in the stirrup.

"Why?" she asked as she started to mount up.  A loud scream
permeated the relative silence of the stables.

"Michelle, shu-"

Laurey turned to the other rider.  And began to laugh.  Hard. Michelle 
glared at her with her best 'I'm-armed-with-a-BFG(DOOM 
reference)-and-don't-you-forget-it' look from underneath the horse.

Laurey covered her mouth with her hand, unsuccessfully trying to hide 
her grin.  This really wasn't all that funny.  Well, OK, it was. But 
the fact remained that Michelle *was* hanging upside down underneath 
a 1,600 lb animal with very sharp hooves, and things could turn ugly 
if the horse decided to object to the fact and spooked.

'How's she hanging on, anyway?' Laurey thought, then shook her head.  
'I probably don't want to know.'  Slowly she reached out and took the 
horse by the bridle with one hand, then reached out and undid the 
cinch with her other hand.  The saddle and Michelle settled to the 
ground.  Michelle scrambled out from under the horse and looked up, 
her grin a bit shaky.  "Can I go on that ride again, Mommy?"

"Michelle, honey..."

"What?"

"Maybe you should ride double with me."

"I think I'll ride double with you."

Leslie trotted into the barn at that moment.  "There's *no one* 
outside, especially no Nick and/or Lacroix and what was that scream?"  
She stopped and stared at all the other women, almost all of them 
mounted.  "Oh.  Oh, dear.  Oh, no.  Have you thought this through..?"
C'mon, Leslie," remonstrated Sukh, exasperated with her fuddy-duddy 
friend.  "Last War you got to steal a vampire's motorcycle. *Two* 
vampires' motorcycles.  And you almost ran one over Lacroix's foot. 
Why should you have all the fun?"

"I was only in danger of exsanguination, not arrest..."  She watched 
Sukh as she wheeled her restless horse in a tight circle.  It did 
look like fun.  She'd always wanted to go trotting down a city street 
with a gang of mean hombres, like in `The Magnificent Seven.'  "Oh, 
what the heck," she muttered as she mounted the black faced bay the 
grinning April held for her.

"Face it," urged the gleeful Michelle, arms tight around Laurey's waist. 
"You love it."

"I love it now, but I'm going to kill you later," Leslie promised, as
she adjusted her stirrups.  "All of you."

"Everyone ready?" Sukh asked, then just like the wagon master, she
motioned with her arm and said, "Horses, ho!"


@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@


A HIVE AWAY FROM HOME (FAR AWAY...) (1/1)
By Leslie GrantSmith, Unnamed, with help from April Hackett and
Julia Kocich.
Set sometime after "Knight Moves" and during and after "The Ride
of the ULF Valkyries"


When he arrived with Lacroix at the Hive, Nick was a bit surprised
to find over half of the UF away.  They found a few in the bar,
Maus perched over her laptop, Julia, who caught one glimpse of
Lacroix and faded into the shadows, muttering something about
`kismet,' and Toby, who greeted them with a smile and the offer of
a drink.  Nick accepted the drink, not having eaten yet that... day.
Cuzn Jen, Jennifer and Kelly came in soon after that, and Kelly
filled the two vampires in on the details of the "attack" and her
conversation with Don Constantine.

"Where's everyone else?" queried Nick, finishing off his glass.

"Um," replied Toby, running his hand over his freshly shaved head,
not looking at his fellow Warriors.

"Sukh said something about getting their pictures taken with some
Mounties," interjected Jennifer hurriedly.  Nick glanced around at
all the other UFfers, who met his gaze with studied innocence.  He
suppressed a shudder while Lacroix suppressed a smile.  War.  It
had something to do with War and he really didn't want to know.
Though he knew he'd find out, all too soon.

"I'm sure your room is still free at the hotel," Lacroix murmured,
coming to perch on the barstool next to him, and pushing Nick's
empty glass further away from him with one finger, nose wrinkling
a bit.

Stomach clenching a bit, and not from the effects of his bovine
blood, Nick stood.  "No.  Time to dive in, I guess.  War is heck and
all that.  I'm going to find a room."

Lacroix watched Nicholas until he was trudging up the stairs to the
bedrooms.  Then he called after him, "The cherry trees are in bloom
in Paris, you realize."  Nick shook his head, rejecting Lacroix's
implied suggestion that they run fast and hard, and continued up the
steps.  Turning his gaze to the glass Nicholas had left on the bar,
Lacroix flicked it with fingernail.  Under the sound of its ringing
chime, he muttered, "The problem with *these* Wars is that there
*are* no real casualties.  Except one's pride..."  With that, he
stood, offered the silent, watching UFfers a cool smile and stalked
off in the direction of the wine cellar.
 
Nick had found himself a room, one with no view, on the off
chance that the Earth would start turning again while he was asleep.
Dawn's light streaming through the windows was a real bummer of
a way to start the day, for a vampire. He had just hung the last of
his shirts when Lacroix walked into the room, a dusty bottle in his
hand."

"Look what I've found as a mixer, Nicholas.  What a noble, noble
vintage.  I had one of her sister bottles back in, oh, '58.  Perhaps
you'd care to share it with me."

"It depends on what you mix it with," replied Nick, smiling gently
at Lacroix's enthusiasm.

"Oh, not cow," murmured Lacroix, gazing at Nick reproachfully.

"No.  Not cow."

Lacroix looked at Nick a moment, then smiled.  "I'll find something
... appropriate, Nicholas.  Sure to please us both."

"Later, though, Lacroix.  I'd like to take a look around the
grounds, see what kind of security Constantine has set up.  Care to
join me in a walk?  The gardens looked quite fine."

"Of course.  I'll leave this here, shall I?" he said, placing the bottle
on the small writing desk of the bedroom.  "We wouldn't want this
to fall into the wrong hands."

"Of course not," said Nick grinning.  "What a tragedy that would
be."

"There are palates, and there are *palates*, Nicholas," declared
Lacroix, looking down his nose.  "This deserves the latter."

They were coming back from their investigation of the grounds,
when they noticed activity in what had been the stables, now
converted into a garage.  From the sounds, the building was making
a transition back to stables.  Forever a knight, Nick angled toward
the building, curious about the sudden appearance of horses.

He stopped in the doorway, inhaling the scent of sweating horses
and sweet hay, careful not to surprise the animals inside.
Occasionally horses reacted to his presence with fright, and he
didn't want to spook them, risking the mortals tending to them.
However, the horses, while they all swung their heads around to
study the two vampires in door, remained quite calm.  Amazingly
so, in fact.

He stepped further into the stable, looking down the stalls and
noting several of the missing UF members tending to the
unsaddling, with April in the closest stall.  Taking the few steps that
would bring him to her, he watched as the small woman that had
been standing in the stall next to April scurried around to the other
side of the horse.

"What are you doing?" Nick quietly asked, as the rest of the women
tried very hard to appear busy.  Lacroix watched from a few paces
away, a slight curve to his lips as he fingered the leather straps of
the reins and bridle draped over a stall door.

"Ah... unsaddling a horse..?" April replied, with a straight face.

"Let me rephrase my question.  What are you doing with *these*
horses?"

Pulling the saddle off the bay's back, April dropped it onto the fence
and glanced at Nick.  "Right now, I'm getting ready to groom him,"
April replied as a soft bristle brush was thrust over the horse's back
by an unseen person.  Taking it, April began brushing the dirt from
her mount.

"April..." Nick warned, wanting an explanation.

"Yes, Nick?" she replied sweetly.

"You ... *stole* police horses..?" he demanded, pointing to the
identifying brand on the animal's shoulder.

"Well, we're not really stealing.  We do intend to return them."

"Why?  Why did you do this?"

The assorted UFfers looked at him.  Sukh cocked her head to one
side and stated the obvious.  "Because ... we shouldn't."

Lacroix chuckled behind him, and Nick turned and rather
irrationally accused, "You put them up to this."

Grinning wickedly, Lacroix said, "Now, Nicholas.  Was anyone
hurt?"

Nick turned back to the women with a questioning glare.  They all
shook their heads vehemently.  He faced Lacroix again. "...No," he
reluctantly conceded.

"Then it couldn't *possibly* have been me that put them up to it,
now could it?"  Both of Lacroix's brows arced high, as he placed
one hand on his chest, over-pleading his innocence.

Nick stared at Lacroix a moment and then began to laugh softly.
"All right.  That wasn't fair.  I'll gather all the facts, including 
a body count, next time."  Then he turned back to the mortals,
running one hand through his hair.  "What am I going to do with
you?"

"Nick," said Sukh, "you're taking this far too seriously.  You'd
think Leslie was writing this."  There came a few vehement
whispers from behind her.  "Oh.  She is?  That explains it.  Anyway,
we're just borrowing them for a short time.  To run some errands.
Then we'll give `em back.  With a full tank of gas and a trip
through the car-wash.  Okay?"

"This *is* War," Lacroix murmured, standing right behind Nick's
shoulder.  "You aren't really expecting things to make sense, are
you?"

Nick glanced back at Lacroix.  "I guess not."  He grinned.  "At
least ... at least you're not a giant penguin or something equally
mind-bending."

"Honk," whispered Lacroix, and Nick could have sworn he caught
a whiff of fish on his breath.


@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@
Sunday, June 22nd, 1997
@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@


MAKING CONTACT (1/1)
by April Hackett, unnamed
Time: sometime after "Busy as Bees", but before "Ride of THe ULF
Valkyries"

Cousin Jen and Susan wandered into the coffeehouse and looked around.
"Where is everyone?" Susan asked, turning to her fellow UFfer.

Looking Susan in the eye, which is noteworthy, since most people were
far taller than her, Jen replied, "In the kitchen?"

"Naaa...," they both spoke at once.

"I don't know when they're coming back," April's voice could be heard
coming closer.  "When he called me earlier, I told him about the attack 
on Kelly. He said he would be here as soon as he could," April said as 
she walked into the room with Laurey right behind her.

"And LaCroix?" Laurey asked.

"Nick didn't say anything about LaCroix," April replied, pulling a chair
out and sitting down.

"Well, if we're lucky, he'll come by just to check on what Nick's 
doing," Cousin Jen hopefully replied as she sat across from April.  "At 
least we can hope so, anyway."

April smiled as she watched the far away look play across Jen's face.
Looking over to Susan, they glanced at each other and grinned.

"Cousins," they teased their friend.

"Knighties!" replied Jen, smiling, when she realized she was being 
teased.

"UFfers!" all three spouted, with Laurey quickly joining in.

"Nick will show up when he's ready.  Right now, we need to tackle this
letter signing project we've come up with," April said, looking at all 
her friends in the room.  "I have a friend in the Merc's ranks that I 
could call."

She gave me a phone number in case I needed a job done during the war."
Turning toward Laurey, she asked, "Laurey, did those cases of Cadbury
chocolate come in yet?"

"I believe they did, though I still don't understand why we needed so
much," Laurey replied, as she fixed herself a cup of coffee.

"You never know when you might need chocolate.  Particularly during a
FK war!" April replied, thinking about just how much this little 
excursion with the Mercs was going to cost.

"That's true.  From some of the stories of other wars, chocolate played 
a large part in how things worked out," Cousin Jen replied.  "You never
know who you might have to bribe or pay off."

"I would like to get as many flyers signed as possible before 
something happens and one faction or the other decides we're ripe 
pickings for an attack," April replied, rising from her seat.  "I'll 
talk to you guys later," she said, as she hurried out of the room.

"Yes, we need to get those flyers done so *we* can have some fun,"
Laurey replied, grinning wickedly as her companions laughed.

=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\

"Laurie?" April asked, when she heard someone pick up the receiver on
the other end.

"Hello?"

"Laurie, is that you?"

"Who's this?" the person on the other end replied, suspiciously.

"This is April Hackett, aka Knightwave."

"April!" was exclaimed into the receiver.  "How are you?  I wasn't 
sure if I'd hear from you this war," Laurie responded, her grin evident 
over the phone.

"Yeah, well... I'm not really calling about a job for you," April 
replied. "Or maybe I am... What I'm needing, Laurie is... an 
introduction to the Mercs."

Deep silence answered her statement.  "Laurie, you still there?"

"Yeah.  Why do you need to meet with the Mercs, April?" she replied, 
her caution evident.

"I need to gather signatures on some KtK flyers that we have.  We're
hoping it will help FK as well as end this time rift thingie that 
we're all dealing with," April replied hurriedly, afraid her friend 
might misunderstand her call and hang up.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

After another pause, Laurie replied, "Let me see what I can arrange,
okay?  Give me your number and I'll call you back."

"Okay," April replied, and stated the mansion's phone number to her
friend.  "I'll be waiting to hear from you.  Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet," Laurie replied.

"Thanks for listening, Laurie.  You didn't have to," April replied, 
smiling.

After a long pause, "Sure.  I'll let you know what I find out," Laurie
replied, then hung up the phone.

Hanging the phone up, April turned to see Susan hovering nearby.

"What did she say?"

"She's going to try and set things up," April replied as she moved 
over to stand by her friend.  "Don't worry. Even if I end up covered 
in whipped cream, it would be worth it to get those signatures," she 
said, laying a hand on Susan's shoulder.

"There's no telling *what* might happen!   They might try and convert
you!" Susan wailed, as we headed back to rejoin the others.

"Don't worry, Susan," April replied.  "I'll be there under a white 
flag, so to speak.  What could happen?"


@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@


LAUNDRY BY ANY OTHER NAME...  (1/1)
by April Hackett & Susan Field

Time: after "A Hive Away From Home (Far Away...)"

"Here I am in Toronto and I'm still doing laundry," April muttered in
disgust.  Watching the soapy water start to rise, she leaned over to 
finish sorting colors and whites, when fingers caressed across her 
bent neck.

"Yewl!" April yelled, flinging herself onto the washer.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, April," Nick said, surprised and 
a little impressed at how quickly she had moved.

"Don't do that!" April snapped, then quickly made the effort to calm
down.

"It's okay, Nick.  I'm just the nervous sort, that's all."  Looking 
at him as she climbed down off the washer, she asked, "What can I do 
for you?"

"I was wondering what you were doing," he said, looking around.  "I was
bored," he admitted with a smile.

"Where's LaCroix?" April asked.

"Oh, he's buried in something he found in the library," Nick replied a
little stiffly.  "He wanted some time to himself.."

"Let me guess," April retorted, "He told you to go find something to 
do?"

"How did you know?  Nick asked, the question visible on his face.

"Oh, I don't know.  Lucky guess, maybe?" she answered, squatting back
down to sort colors.

"Do you need any help?" he asked, bending down so he was on an even
level with April.

"Do you *know* how to do laundry, Nick?" April queried, surprise
tingling her voice.

"Sure I do," he replied.  "I have been wearing clothes for a lot more 
years than you.  I don't just wear them then throw them away," Nick 
answered, a little trace of annoyance in his voice.

April suppressed the laughter that was threatening to erupt at that
statement, not wanting to explain that throwing them away was exactly
what some of the fiction writers had suggested he did.

"Okay, first... Do you have anything that needs to be washed?" the 
UFfer asked.

"Well, I have a couple of shirts and some underwear that I was going 
to let the hotel laundry do, but since I've moved here for the 
duration.  If you're offering...?" he said, smiling that cute little 
boy smile everyone loved to see.

"Sure.  Go and get them.  I can throw them in with Susan's and my 
stuff," April replied, not being tough enough to fight off a Nick 
smile without strong reinforcements.

"Great!  I'll be back in a minute," he said as he disappeared from the
room.

"And it probably will be a minute, being that it's him," April mumbled,
rising up and groaning as her knee complained at the movement.

"Here's the last of our stuff, April," Susan stated, suddenly appearing 
in the doorway of the laundry room with a large armful of clothes.

"Aaahhh!!" April yelled again.  "I *wish* you guys would stop sneaking
up on me!" she snapped, as she spun around to confront her friend.

"Sorry," Susan said, smiling that she'd scored one on April.

"It's all right, Susan.  Nick just did it to me a little while ago, 
that's all," April explained, leaning against the machine for a 
moment.  "Did you get all the stuff from the bathroom?"

"Yep, all of it," Susan replied, nearly bouncing.

"Why don't you go see what everyone else is planning to do later.  
Maybe we can join in?" April asked, controlling the need to squash all 
bouncing Susans that she knew.

"Sure, I can do that!" Susan smiled broadly and bounced out the door.

"Where does she get the energy?" April asked herself, as she started to
load the washer with their whites.

"Here you go, April," Nick said, suddenly appearing right behind her, a
small ball of clothes in his hands.

"Yewl!!  God...uhhhmmm, grrrr," April squealed, spinning around at the
sudden noise.  "I *am* going to have a heart attack if you don't stop
doing that!" she firmly stated.

Nick laughed and dropped his clothes onto the pile of whites sitting on
the floor.

"Do you need any help, April?" he asked as he watched her bob up and
down from the pile to the washer.

"No, that's all right.  I have it covered," April answered, taking a 
handful that Nick had decided to pick up and dropped them in the washer.
"Thanks for offering though."

"Sure.  I believe I'll go and see what Leslie or Susan are doing," 
Nick stated, then smiled his best smile.  "Maybe I can catch Leslie 
out of the bathroom for once."

"She respects LaCroix, but he makes her nervous," April replied, 
smiling, as she thought about the last time Leslie had tried to use 
the bathroom to escape notice.   LaCroix had managed to maneuver 
himself between Leslie and her escape route, which produced an 
hysterical dance around the room.

"More's the reason I want to really meet her, as well as your shadow,
Susan," Nick said when he paused in the doorway, a broad smile gracing
his face.

"Ah, sure.  I'm sure they'll enjoy chatting with you," April replied,
slightly mesmerized by that smile he had flashed.  "Man, oh man, what 
that smile does to me," she whispered to herself after Nick had left.

Stuffing the last of the whites into the washer, April turned it on, 
then started pulling clothes from the dryer and began to fold them.

=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\

The washer finally quit, which was excellent timing as far as April 
was concerned.  She had already made three trips upstairs delivering 
clean clothes to their appropriate owners.  "Now to take care of our 
stuff and I can get out of this room for a while," she muttered as she 
bent over the machine and began to pull out a shirt.

"Oh, April," Maus sang out as she walked into the laundry room.  "I have
about 100 flyers ready for you to take to the other faction headquarters.
You can get them anytime you want."

"Thanks, Maus," April replied, not really listening as she concentrated 
on what she held in her hands.

"You know, I would have never imagined you in pink," Maus
proclaimed, then headed back to the bar and her computer.

"Pink.  I can't believe it's pink!" April softly declared.

"April...," Nick called as he stepped into the room.  "How did the Evil
Pink Shirt find me here!!  I must warn LaCroix!" Nick yelled, then flew
from the laundry room.

Digging around in the washer, April straightened up with a washed out
red sock in her hand.  "Damn."


@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@


ARMED AND UFFISH (1/1)
By:  Laurey (Fenris) and Julia Kocich, additional input from UF Rulz Julz
Time: shortly after Ride of the ULF Valkyries


Sukh walked into the sitting room and stopped dead, staring. "Laurey, 
that's not a gun, is it?"  

Laurey looked up from where she was fiddling with one piece of the 
pistol that was dismantled and spread across the antique rock maple 
coffee table, newspapers laid down underneath to protect the wood, 
puzzled. She looked at Sukh, then down at the gun barrel in her hands, 
then back at Sukh.

"Is that a trick question?  Ummm, yeah. Why?"

"A real gun?"  Laurey bit her lip and looked even more puzzled.

"Yeah, I didn't get to give it a good cleaning before I left home,
I was in such a hurry, and it really needs it.  Um, is it a problem?"
Sukh shuddered.

"I *hate* guns! What do you need that for? How did you get it
here, don't you need a permit?"  Laurey bridled a tiny bit at that.

"Well of course I have a permit!  Don't worry, it can't possibly
go off, it's in pieces!"  Jules walked into the room, took a look and
 said,

"Kewl!  Nice pistol!  What is that, a Beretta? Hey, how'd you get
it into Canada, they don't allow handguns!  What, did you stuff it down
your bra?" she grinned.  Laurey grinned back, feeling on a bit firmer 
ground now.  

"Nah, brought it through customs. They *do* allow handguns with
a request for a special permit from a Federal officer, such as a US 
County DA.  I went to school with one.  It took a bit of convincing, 
but I painted a really awful picture of how violent Toronto was, and 
she came through for me.  You're right, by the way, it's a Beretta .38."

"But why do you need one at all?" asked Sukh, who was looking at the
dismantled weapon as if it might suddenly jump up, reassemble and start
shooting at any second.  "I mean, you aren't going to actually - I mean,
we aren't *really* at war, you know."   Laurey realized where she was 
going with this suddenly, and waved her hands in denial.

"Oh, Sukh, of course not!  I would never hurt anyone from any of the
other factions!   No, no, I brought it along for protection if we have 
to go into any crappy sections of town.  Also, take a look,"  she 
picked up the ammo clip and popped a couple of bullets out, handing one 
to Jules, and the other to Sukh, who took it reluctantly and examined 
it.  Jules studied hers, and her eyebrows shot up.

"You're kidding!  These are-"

"Ironwood," Laurey finished for her.  "I had a friend of ours who has
a workshop and reloads his own brass get some scrap pieces of ironwood 
and make them up.  I also dabbed a bit of holy water on each, just for 
a little extra sting.  I thought we might have to go to the Raven, for 
one thing, and I really don't want to end up as a snack for one of the 
Lost Boy wannabes that hang out at the place.  I don't want to 
necessarily kill anyone, but I figure an ironwood bullet through 
somebody's knee will encourage them to go concentrate on healing and 
look for an easier lunch.  Also, who knows how many vampire variations 
are running around Toronto right this second?  There are probably
more vampires per square foot around this town right now then there are
lawyers."

"A double bloodsucking population," Jules grinned.  Sukh sighed, and
handed the bullet back to Laurey. 

"Okay, it sounds like you know what you're doing, just don't wave it
around, okay?"  

Laurey pulled a pout.  "Course not."  With quick, practiced movements 
she reassembled the Beretta, then pulled open her black silk jacket, 
revealing a shoulder holster.  She holstered the gun, then spread
her hands out, eyes wide and innocent.  "What gun?"

The phone rang. Sukh answered it. "Hello, Hive Mistress here."

"Miss... Sukh, isn't it? Kindly press the 'Conference' button. I 
would like to speak to you all. Now." As Sukh took a deep breath to 
make some unflattering suggestions, the man continued: "I do not 
expect insolence in return for my generosity to you and your group."

Sukh considered.

"The 'Conference' button, Miss Sukh."

"Oh, yeah, let me find it. Here it is." She stabbed at the console and
beckoned Jules and Laurey closer to the telephone.

"OK, you're on," she said, more boldly than she felt.

"Ladies ... you must remember that, although this house is now yours, 
the actions of the people currently occupying it will inevitably 
reflect upon  me. The main reason I was successful in business, and 
now, in my new ... life, is because I was, and am, discrete. 
Discretion, ladies, is like the honey with which you are so, so... 
preoccupied. Discretion sweetens everyday life. Discretion lubricates 
social intercourse." His grave manner dared them to misunderstand his 
meaning and laugh.  Jules glanced down and coughed away a smirk, but 
they couldn't look one another in the eye. They understood. He paused 
and cleared his throat. Whe he resumed, his tone grew harder. Colder. 
"The house is yours. But *you* are now a part an the extended family. 
My extended family. And, I daresay, of Lacroix's ... Every act of
yours reflects not only on your little group, but on my honor, the 
honor of my family, and -- beyond."

There was silence in the room. What was he asking? What was he 
demanding?

Finally Jules spoke up. "Ah, Mr. Constantine. Sir ... you're telling 
Laurey to get rid of her... Beretta? That's not fair...!" Her mouth 
was in gear before her brain was engaged, again.

"I don't need to be lectured, miss. One of my associates will come by
shortly to put the weapon into safekeeping. It will be returned to 
its owner when she leaves Toronto. Or the house. Whichever event 
occurs first."

"Are you threatening to evict us if our behavior doesn't meet your
standards?" Sukh asked.

"I never threaten. I simply inform people of the options they face. 
Threats are so ... indiscreet." He hung up.

Sukh and Jules looked at Laurey,  who looked stunned, then walked over 
to glare at the phone.   As they watched, her dark green eyes started 
to narrow until they were mere slits and her expression slid from 
astonished to coldly furious.  Sukh frantically waved her hands and
mouthed "No, no!" at her, willing the silver-haired Uffer to remain 
silent. Laurey took a deep breath, and counted silently to ten, eyes 
closed. Then she opened her eyes, which looked calm once more, and 
punched the "dial last number"  button.  She waited, visibly 
grinding her teeth, then spoke. "Don Constantine? This is Laurey. 
Please give me a moment of your time, I know you're a busy man, but
this is important."

"Of course we are all grateful to you for the use of this wonderful
place, and I hope that you are finding us useful as well. I don't 
think we deserve mistrust from you until we do something to prove 
ourselves mistrustful.  I didn't arm myself specifically to come to
Toronto. I carry this gun all the time, and I respectfully invite you
to check my background to see if I have ever been brought up on 
charges for so much as threatening someone with a firearm, let alone 
shooting someone.  I grew up with guns in the house, my father was 
old fashioned, and he believed in teaching *all* of his children, 
even the girls, to shoot a gun and learn to respect it."

The Don interrupted, "I do notice, young woman, that you were careful 
to say 'never been brought up on charges'.  That is not the same thing
at all as 'I have never done' a thing.  You lot are armed with your
own unique and individual abilities, and with your wits, of which 
you collectively have quite a bit. I would consider that these would
be the only weapons any of you would need, young lady."

She rolled her eyes, glanced around make sure Toby wasn't in the room 
and mouthed  "Men!"  to Sukh and Jules.

"Don, wits and charm are all very well, but in some situations, like
facing a hungry biker vampire who was brought over two days ago, you 
just can't beat a thirty-eight caliber ironwood argument to win your 
point. 

"I would never take a life lightly, taking someone's life is a *very*
serious business, I'm sure *you* will agree, Don Constantine. Toronto 
has some very strange things going on in it right now, and it's neither
fair nor conducive to our goals to take up Nicholas' or Lacroix's time
in making sure none of us are hurt by any of the things running around
the city right now.  Many of the vampires in this city are young and 
have no respect for the elder ones or their followers.  I only want 
to be able to help defend my friends if the need arises.  We won't 
be any good to you if we're dead or in the hospital.  If you insist,
then I have no choice, we are in your house and under your command 
for now, but I respectfully ask you to allow me to keep my weapon.  
I would never willingly abuse your hospitality, please believe me."

He was silent for a moment, then chuckled.  "Very eloquently argued. And
what did you *really* want to say to me, my dear?

She laughed, and said "I can't tell you, this *is* a PG War, Don
Constantine."

Fin

@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@

A VISIT TO THE DARK KNIGHTIES (1/1)
By Leslie GrantSmith, Unnamed
Set some vague old time after "Ride of the ULF Valkyries"


"Hey, Marcia, there's this way too normal looking woman that
want's to see you at the  front door."

"Way too normal..?" queried the Dark One, brow furrowing.  "Oh!
It must be Leslie!  She said she was coming over.  Let her in.  I'll be
right there."

Leslie stood in Dark Dimensions, hands shoved in the front pockets
of her black jeans, her murky green eyes peering in near-sighted
curiosity around her.

"Pretty neat, huh, Wendy Marie?  How many Nicks have you seen
in the last minute?"

"Three.  And a Janette.  Wow, look at *that* one."

"Pretty," agreed Leslie, nodding, though her eyes were roving the
room in search of Masters Lacroix and Nicholas, with whom she'd
had a very educational conversation at the Dark Knighties' party.
Instead, she found Delacroix, a Nicholas very attached to his
maker.  He was speaking earnestly to Eloise Bennett, the woman
who lent him the greatest support in his forced separation from his
Lacroix.  Thinking of her own Nick and Lacroix, just now
beginning a protracted conversation that would hopefully lead to a
renewed, closer relationship, her heart sank a bit.  How painful
must be this Nicholas's exile from his maker, involuntary and
unwished.  And what must his Lacroix be feeling, in some alternate
universe, his devoted son lost to him?

She was distracted from her morose ruminations by a flurry of
movement and she turned to watch Marcia hurrying toward her, a
welcoming smile on her face.  Leslie's mouth curved into her wide,
goofy grin.

"Hey, Marcia, you're looking good.  Hi, Nick," she greeted the
vampire at her friend's side.  "You're looking rather well yourself."
She allowed her eyes to wander up and down his rather tasty form,
while both he and Marcia grinned.  These Dark Knighties were so
... generous.

"Hi, Leslie," replied Marcia.  "Nick, you remember Leslie and
Wendy Marie from the party."

"Yes, I remember Leslie spending a goodly part of the evening
cuddled up to the Masters, and Wendy Marie making that rather
spectacular leap off the stage into the crowd."

"I did that?" inquired Wendy Marie.

"Yes," responded the other three in unison, smiling broadly.

"Cool," replied Wendy Marie.  "I wish I remembered..."

"And you're both with the UF?" inquired Dark Nick.

"Yep," said Leslie.

"Do you know what UF stands for, Nick?" asked Wendy Marie,
pronouncing it "Oof," a big grin on her face.

"Unnamed Faction, yes?"

"It's the sound Lacroix makes when Nick tackles him to the floor."

"'When Nick...?"  He rolled his eyes in appeal to Marcia, who
quickly suppressed her smile.

"We're not going there, you two," she quickly interjected.  "Nick
knows that the UF explores the Relationship between Nick and
Lacroix in all its possible permutations.  But we're not lingering
over the details, okay?"

"Okay," Leslie said hurriedly, Wendy Marie nodding.  "It's
personal, anyway.  It must be kinda weird to have a group of
people so interested in your personal life.  But it's so ... fascinating."

"Weird, yeah, that's the word," replied Nick, grinning.

"Anyway, we're here for something else," said Wendy Marie.

"What's up, you two?" asked Marcia.

"Well, you know our theory, right?," asked Wendy Marie.  "That
the heaviest known element in the universe, Administratium, has
been collecting in the offices of the FK PTB, thereby causing the
Earth to stop in its movement and the Rift to be created."

"Yes, I've heard you've thought that," replied Marcia, exchanging a
dubious, but discreet, glance with Nick.

"So, what we need to do," Wendy Marie muscled on, "is send a
whole bunch of letters to the offices of TPTB, written on the backs
of these KtK flyers, thereby counter-acting the effect of the
Administratium and causing the Earth to begin rotating again.
Kickstarting the Knight and the Earth at the same time, as it were."

"Mmm," said Marcia, again sharing a look with her Nick.  "We
were just discussing this the other day."  She gestured at a table.
"Let's sit."

The four of them sat down together and Marcia stared thoughtfully
at her hands, folded on the table, a moment before beginning to
speak again.  "You know, not all of us would be pleased to have
the Rift repaired and our alternative Forever Knight characters
taken away from us."  She glanced over at Nick.  "It's gone beyond
"characters," you know.  We like, or even love them, as people."

Leslie leaned back in her chair, studying Marcia and Nick.  "Yeah,"
she replied slowly.  "I do know what you mean.  I mean, I haven't
had much to do with Our Guys.  I'm not sure if Lacroix is prepared
to pop my head like a grape for playing with the UF instead of the
Cousins this War.  But I'm still very attached to them.  I don't know
what they've been talking about, all those hours they spend in the
library, but it means a lot to me that they are talking.  That
something, maybe, maybe, is being worked on in that Relationship..."
 She looked at Nick, and he nodded.

"Yes.  Things have not always been easy between myself and
Lacroix.  I turned away from him, from vampirism and myself for a
short time...  It almost killed me, given the nature of our bond.  Not
being able to share blood with him...  I need it, physically, to live.
It wasn't easy on me or him."  He looked at Marcia, and chuckled.
"We're both rather ... stubborn, to put it mildly and politely.  So I
can imagine that the Nicholas Knight and the Lucien Lacroix of
your world, or the two men you of the UF have dealings with, of
this world or another, have quite a lot to ... discuss.  To heal."

Leslie and Wendy Marie nodded.  "Yes.  That's it, exactly.  And
while we don't expect to be in on the intimate details or even to see
the whole ... reconciliation take place - after all, they are immortal
beings and they can afford to go slowly and carefully - it is very
exciting to be around them.  To see the occasional smiles and
companionable words exchanged."

"So, you can at least imagine what the idea of losing our Dark
Companions would mean to us," said Marcia, placing one hand
over Nick's where it rested on the table.

"Oh, sure," said Leslie.  She looked at the two of them, then at
Wendy Marie.  "But, knowing you, I also know that you've thought
about what the  impact of their being away from their own home
"worlds" would be.  I mean, all you have to do is look at
Delacroix..."

"I miss ... and need ... my own family as well," murmured Dark
Nick, squeezing Marcia's hand.  "Yes, we've discussed this."

"Yes," murmured Marcia.  "We'll write the letters."  Then she
grinned at her UF friends.  "Whether I buy your whacked out
theory or not, I'll write a letter and send it to the proper place.  
If it will help kickstart the Earth again or not, I remain dubious.  
But it could help kickstart Forever Knight, and I'm all for that 
whether the world is turning or stationary."

"Great," said Leslie, her grin goofier and wider than before.  "Uh,
just the members of your faction, okay?  The mortal ones.  I don't
think TPTB will buy a bunch of letters coming from assorted
Knights and Lacroixs and what-have-yous."

"What?" laughed Marcia.  "You don't think they've noticed all the
extra and ... variant FK characters wandering around Toronto?"

"Um, no, not really.  I tend to think them rather kllewwwless,
myself."

"'Klewless..?'" said Nick, hitting the accent perfectly.  Of course.

"Yes!" cried Wendy Marie, high-fiving Leslie.  "You got him to say
it!"

Leslie, still shivering with delight, grinning, chortled, "Yep.  Now
all I gotta do is get a Lacroix to say 'decapitated corpse in the beer
fridge' and my aural fixations will have been satisfied."

Dark Nick looked at the Dark One.  "She's easy to please..."

"Ummm," replied Marcia, fighting to keep an evil grin from her lips.
"Okaayyy...  Look, you two, give me a bunch of those flyers and
the addresses and I'll ask my people to write those letters."  She
glanced over at her Dark Nick.  "If this actually works toward
closing the Rift..."  She shrugged and took a deep breath.  "I guess
we're doing the right thing."

Leslie grimaced and patted her friend's hand.  "Thanks, you.  I'm
not tickled by the idea of losing our Nick and Lacroix either.
But..."

"Yeah," said Marcia.  "But."

Nick leaned over to Marcia, nuzzling her ear gently.  He whispered,
"I'll always be there in your dreams."

Marcia smiled at his attempt to comfort, but the smile was not a
happy one.


@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@==@


End Part 5, 21-22. Continued in Part 6, 23-24