What could be more annoying than three arrogant little boys who are perfect in every way? What about three arrogant little boys who are perfect in every way that create their own detective agency to right the wrongs of the world?It's Clamp Campus Detectives, the only anime series I've seen that matches the crapiness of the old Gatchaman series. (G-Force for people who watch Cartoon Network.) Produced by Clamp it embodies everything that's wrong with Clamp.
Don't get me wrong, when Clamp does something right it's more entertaining than NBC. But when Clamp screws up they screw up big time. Their animation is always good, it's the story that usually suffers from the evil of insubstantiality.
There's a guy in my anime club who shouts out what he thinks are witty comments. The only problem is that his comments are essentially stating the obvious, "Damn that's a fast car", "Is is just me or is she evil?", "Here it comes", etc... This guy ruins the subtlety of anime. Now what makes it especially annoying is that he does it non-stop. Once or twice it could be bearable, but a constant barrage of these boring explanations make you want to rip his head off.
Clamp Campus detectives is a similar situation. If the lack of substance was only every now and then for a throw away gag it might be okay, but non-stop superficial attempts to be clever are painful.
From the first episode we learn this, there is a school where the richest people in the world send their kids to essentially become the best. The Presidents of the fourth, fifth and sixth grade (who are rich enough to own a private blimp) are beloved by all the little girls. These boys know they're perfect and revel in it, complimenting each other to no end. The leader decides the three of them should create a detective agency and solve the problems that plague people.
One day they see an old woman being harrassed by professional hoodlums. They then beat up the hoodlums. Three little kids beat up about twenty something grown men who have martial arts trainging. The kids then find out why the old woman was harrassed, confront and defeat the man who ordered her harrassed and then grant the old woman's dream.
If there was another level to this stuff it might be interesting. But no, it's a one dimensional story. And not even a good one dimensional story. The kids expierience no real challenges. They're so perfect that they don't do anything. It's like a child's first reader except instead of "See Jack Run" it's "See Jack Defeat Evil". The only difference is at least "See Jack Run" is believable.
And considering that it's an anime, where nobody flinches at the idea of a boy turning into a girl when he's splashed with cold water or where giant fighting robots are commonplace, how bad does a show have to be when you're constantly shouting out in disbelief?
It's like Hanson is fighting crime but after they've gotten an attitude transplant from the Spice Girls. And the ten year old is kicking the ass of ten grown men with guns without breaking a sweat. And it's not a comedey.
If I had to choose between reading an old Dilbert book while sitting on a toilet with a bad case of diharrea or watching another episode of Clamp Campus Detectives I would stock up on toilet paper and air freshners.
