The Junior Drones

Dover Street, London W1

Favourite Wodehouse Quotes

• his supply of the milk of human kindness is plainly short by several gallons
• Stilton was prowling about seeking whom he might devour
• his air was that of a man compelled to listen to a tactless oaf who persisted in saying the wrong thing
• my moustache was an offence against God and man
• I told the waiter to bring a magnum and leave it at my elbow
• I pencil her in as too bossy for human consumption
• there was nothing wrong with England that a ton of bricks falling on Spode's head wouldn't cure
• he gave me the impression of being a thug of the first order
• rend you limb from limb and scatter the fragments to the four winds
• I am at a loss to detect anything akin to pleasantry in the outrage
• a man who knows when and when not to be among those present
• Spode, qua menace, is a spent egg
• I should be glad if you would not refer to me as a bloke
• to me she was simply nothing more nor less than a pot of poison
• her continued presence would render my enterprise null and void
• my eloquence was not without its effect
• you interest me strangely

Favourite Wodehouse Expressions

• you wrong me
• creeps of the first water
• water on the brain
• girls of high and haughty spirit; red hair
• gone off her onion
• frightfully white of you
• thirty days without the option
• the scales have fallen from my eyes
• to dash the cup of joy from your lips
• things are becoming far too French
• oojah-cum-spiff
• intent on mayhem
• in midseason form
• England's premier pill
• sleep, tired Nature's sweet restorer
• a surging sea of aunts
• the toast of Bloomsbury
• these are times that try mens' souls
• the lodestar of my life
• she begins where Helen of Troy left off
• fluid ounces of strengthening coffee
• catches sight of her sideways
• a man so liberally equipped with one-way pockets
• a hot and by no means unripe idea
• I'm not frightfully keen on the idea
• nobless oblige
• sporting blood/purity of the turf
• velvet hand beneath the iron glove
• a warped view of humanity
• the female of the species
• able to fell an ox with a single blow
• the Wooster GHQ
• fiend in human shape
• he's a corker
• eating their bread and salt
• unfit for human consumption
• afflicted me with a nameless horror
• perfidious Albion
• I defy you
• cut the Gordian knot
• thinking him ill advised
• not of the nobless
• expunge the thought from your mind
• what rot
• blithering oaf
• professions of undying love
• go and boil your head
• effect a reconciliation
• in no uncertain fashion
• the deaf adder of scripture
• turn and leg it
• Swedish exercises
• the elixir in my hand was purely medicinal
• where the repartee is always of the high order
• Heaven speed your efforts
• love light in their eyes
• goodish pile (money)
• in the soup/mulligatawny
• got pickled to the gills or pie eyed
• earning of the weekly envelope
• without spreading ruin and disaster on all sides
• tender goddess
• forbid the banns in no uncertain manner
• impressed it upon me with all emphasis at her disposal

Favourite Wodehouse Things

Spats, niblicks, pince-nez, newts, kippers, police helmets, two seaters, Turkish cigarettes, school prize-givings, porringers, gravel soil, asparagus, lemon squash, cucumber sandwiches, cow creamers, hobnailed boots, coshes, vintage port.

Favourite Wodehouse Words

contretemps, sanguine, sang-fois, imbibe, habiliments, agog, curate, vim, floaters, tight, dekko, constabulary, bonhomous, toothsome, sidled, lissom, purloin, pining, blighter, imponderables, blitheringness, shift-ho, yoicks, non-plussed, nimrods, mph-ing, adroit, imbroglio.

Possible Drones Club Tie

Drones Members in good standing

Algie Crufts, Algie Martyn, Algie Wymondham, Alistair Bingham-Reeves, Ambrose Wiffin, Archie Gilpin, Archie Mulliner, Archie Studd, Aubrey Fothergill, Barmy Fotheringay-Phipps, Berry Conway, Bertie Wooster, Bill Belfry, Bill Rowcester, Bingo Little, Biscuit Biskerton, Boko Fittleworth, Captain J. G. Walkinshaw, Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright, Chuffy Chufnell, Dick Wimple, Dogface Rainsby, Dudley Finch, Dudley Wix-Biffin, Freddie Bullivant, Freddie Chalk-Marshall, Freddie Fitch-Fitch, Freddie Oaker, Freddie Rooke, Freddie Threepwood, Freddie Widgeon, Gussie Fink-Nottle, Harold Winship, Horace Pendlebury-Davenport, Hugo Carmody, Hugo Walderwick, Jimmy Bowles, Looney Coote, Mervyn Mulliner, Monty Bodkin, Monty Byng, Nelson Cork, Oofy Prosser, Oofy Simpson, Percy Gorringe, Percy Wimbolt, Percy Wimbush, Pongo Twistleton-Twistleton, Reggie Foljambe, Reggie Havershot, Reggie Tennyson, Ricky Gilpin, Ronnie Devereux, Ronnie Fish, Rupert Psmith, Sam Bagshott, Stiffy Stiffham, Stilton Cheesewright, Tipton Plimsoll, Tubby Bridgnorth, Tuppy Glossop, Tuppy Rogers, Algy Little (possible member).

Curriculum Vitae of Bertram Wilberforce Wooster

3A Berkeley Mansions
Berkeley Square, London W1

Early Education

• choirboy -won the choirboys' cycling race
• won Scripture Knowledge Prize
• won a prize at Malvern for best collection of wild flowers

Eton College

• midnight biscuit acquisition

Magdalen College

• played racquets for Oxford: i.e. won his Racquets Blue in partnership with Beefy Anstruther
• rowed at Oxford

Professional

• wrote "What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing" for aunt's publication.
• paid for a scholarly work on birds in New York.
• gave an uplifting talk to an enthralled group of schoolgirls at their school.
• made a stage appearance in New York.
• modeled for an advertising poster for soup.
• sang "Sonny Boy" on stage.

Interests

• Hobbies include riding, swimming, squash, driving, shooting, tennis, darts, billiards, throwing playing cards into top hats.
• Reading: mystery novels
• Travels: New York, Cannes, and assorted country house retreats.
• Drones Club events: Annual Golf Tournament and Annual Darts Sweepstakes

Personal Code

• The Code of the Woosters: One must always help out a friend in need no matter the circumstances and; one must never overtly resist matrimony when a young woman professes her love for you; regardless if it is true love or not.

Lineage

• Wooster family descended from Sieur de Worcester who fought in Agincourt
• in line of succession to the Earldom of Yaxley

Family and Friends

• school chums from Eton and Oxford: Bingo Little, Freddie Widgeon, Stilton Cheesewright, Catsmeat Pirbright, Lord Chuffnell, Kipper Herring
• female friends and acquaintances: Corky Pirbright, Roberta Wickham, Honoria Glossop, Florence Craye, Cynthia Wickhammersley, Muriel Singer, Gwladys Pendlebury, Beatrice Slingsby, Madeline Bassett, Heloise Pringle, Pauline Stoker, Xenobia Hopwood, Stephanie (Stiffy) Byng.

Miscellaneous

• kicked Edwin in the trouser seat.

My Personal PGW Book Collection

The Jeeves Omnibus 1
Thank You, Jeeves
The Code Of The Woosters
The Inimitable Jeeves

The Jeeves Omnibus 2
Right Ho, Jeeves
Joy In The Morning
Carry On, Jeeves

The Jeeves Omnibus 3
Ring For Jeeves
The Mating Season
Very Good, Jeeves

The Jeeves Omnibus 4
Jeeves And The Feudal Spirit
Jeeves In The Offing
Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

The Jeeves Omnibus 5
Much Obliged, Jeeves
Aunts Aren't Gentlemen
"Extricating Young Gussie" From The Man With Two Left Feet
"Jeeves Makes An Omelette" From A Few Quick Ones
"Jeeves And The Greasy Bird" From Plum Pie

Other London Clubs

• The American Club, 95 Piccadilly W1
• The Army and Navy Club, 36 Pall Mall SW1
• The Arts Club, 40 Dover Street W1
• The Athenaeum, 107 Pall Mall SW1
• The Bath Club, 43 Brook Street W1
• The Beefsteak, 9 Irving Street WC2
• Boodle's, 28 St. James's Street, SW1
• Brooks's, St. James's Street SW1
• Buck's, 18 Clifford Street W1
• The Caledonian Club, 9 Halkin Street SW1
• The Canning Club, 94 Piccadilly W1
• The Carlton Club, 69 St. James's Street SW1
• The Cavalry & Guards' Club, 127 Piccadilly W1
• The City of London Club, 19 Old Broad Street EC2
• The City University Club, 50 Cornhill EC1
• The Gresham Club, 15 Abchurch Lane EC4
• The City Livery Club, Sion College Victoria Embankment EC4
• The Devonshire Club, 16 St. James's Square SW1
• The East India Club, 16 St. James's Square SW1
• The Eccentric Club, 9 Ryder Street SW1
• The Garrick Club, 15 Garrick Street WC2
• The Hurlingham Club, Ranelagh Gardens Fulham SW6
• The Junior Carlton Club, 69 St. James's Street SW1
• The Lansdowne Club, 9 Fitzmaurice Place Berkeley Square W1
• The MCC, St. John's Wood Road NW8
• The National Liberal Club, 1 Whitehall Place SW1
• The Naval and Military Club, 94 Piccadilly W1
• The Number Ten Club, 116 Pall Mall SW1
• The Oriental Club, Stratford House Stratford Place W1
• Pratt's Club, 14 Park Place SW1
• The Press Club, International Press Centre 76 Shoe Lane EC4
• The Public Schools Club, 16 St. James's Square SW1
• The Reform Club, 104 Pall Mall SW1
• The Roehampton Club, Roehampton Lane SW15
• The RAC Club, 89 Pall Mall SW1
• The RAF Club, 128 Piccadilly W1
• The Royal Thames Yacht Club, 60 Knightsbridge SW1
• The St. James's Club, 106 Piccadilly W1
• The St. Stephen's Club, 34 Queen Anne's Gate SW1
• The Savage Club, 9 Fitzmaurice Place Berkeley Square W1
• The Savile Club, 69 Brook Street W1
• Travellers' Club, 106 Pall Mall SW1
• The Turf Club, 5 Carlton House Terrace SW1
• The United Service Club, 116 Pall Mall SW1
• The United Oxford and Cambridge Club, 71-77 Pall Mall SW1
• White's, 37 St. James's Street SW1

British Crossword