Why the Commission sucks Our Processess
How we Do ThingS Hear

[Quamp’s note: This is taken verbatim from the Commission on Superhuman activities site. It gives you some insight as to who they are and why they do things. Personally, The concept seems bold, but it’s executed very poorly. All errors are as they appear in the original site.]

We hear at the Commission on Superhuman Activities have a gole of writing two fan fictions a month. Unlike outher sites who update once in a blew moon. We am a grope of pedople who rite in the follow manor:

1. We get together at our chat site and decide on a plut.
2. We asign each membur a set of pages to rite.
3. Each membur write at his or hur pace.
4. Atthe end of two weaks, they will be funushed.
5. They e-mail their part to our ladder, Henry Putter Girich.
6. Girich take the parts, assumbles them, then post them.
7. Then you can sit back and enjoy it!
Cum and join us e-maul us today!

There are numerous broken links, including several stories they promise us but don’t deliver, a link to the list of Commission members, a link to the links page, and even the link to their guestbook doesn’t work.
They have about 7 stories that I haven’t MiSTed yet, including Rogue (or rather, Rouge) vs. Lady Death (or rather, Ladee Desth,) A horrific story entitled “What if Apocalypse Formed the X-Men?” (A good premise shot to hell,) A Ramina 1/2 - X-Factor crossover (not being familiar with either team, I would shy away from this - but that didn’t stop the Commission.) Others include an Onslaught (or rather, Inslawt) vs. Apocalypse (or rather, Apocalips) and a Magneto takes over England (which is almost a word-for-word rip-off of the What if...? Story “What if Magneto Took Over the U.S.A.?”)
In the works they have about 5 stories, including Rouge and Grambit’s wedding (as if Rogue and Gambit haven’t gotten married 500 times before), Angle and Sighlock’s honey mood, (as a sequel to their story “Last Date,”) and a Rouge as Biffy the Vampyre Sayur story. Rest assured that Icehole and myself will continue to send their terrible fan fiction to the Satellite of Love. I really feel sorry for Mike Nelson and the bots; it’s almost too much to endure.

Now for a question everyone’s been asking me: Where are these originals located? Well, the site’s address changes about every week or so, but it’s always on Xoom.com. What you have to do is search the pages of Xoom for it.They think they can hide from Icehole and I, but they’re wrong, especially since Vel Cupper goes to the same comic book shop as Icehole and I do. She doesn’t realize who we are, and our praising her work keeps to her face keeps her in the dark.... (now she’s going to get paranoid about people she knows, heh heh heh heh heh... )

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