Widdle Wade

"The Temple of Bloom"

(Page 1, panel 1. We see Widdle Wade sitting in his home.)

Cap (N1): He's not a happy camper now.

Cap (N2): Widdle Wade is faced with something he hasn't faced in years.

Cap (N3): A foe that is so clever and cunning that it will take all of Widdle Wade's abilities to defeat it.

(Panel 2. Widdle Wade shouts at the reader.)

Wade: BOREDOM!!!

(Panel 3. Widdle Wade paces across the floor.)

Wade: Man, I'm bored! 450 channels on my satellite dish and there's STILL nothing good on. Internet server's down, and I'm between jobs! There's got to be something for me to do!

(Panel 4. Widdle Wade pushes his teleporter.)

Wade: I know, I'll go to the hellheckhouse.

(Page 2, panel 1. The Hellheckhouse. We see Widdle Wade teleport in.)

Wade: I'm itchin' to go snitchin'! Overlay, gimme an assignment!

(Panel 2. Overlay, a Patch rip off approaches Widdle Wade.)

Overlay: Alright, alright, you don't have to shout, I'm not deaf you know!

(Panel 3. Overlay looks over a sheet.)

Overlay: We've only got one assignment, Widdle Wade. That's the Temple of Bloom!!

SFX: KRACK-A-WHOOM!!

(Panel 4. Wade is a little confused.)

Wade: The Temple of Bloom?

SFX: KRACK-A-WHOOM!!

(Panel 5. Widdle Wade looks around.)

Wade: Where is that thunder coming from? The sky is clear outside.

Overlay: Yes. . . it's the most dangerous place on Earth. There's supposed to be a lot of gold and jewels there.

(Panel 6. Widdle Wade gets dollar signs in his eyes.)

Wade: Whatever the risk, Widdle Wade will do it!

(Page 3, panel 1. We see Widdle Wade teleport out.)

Overlay: Sucker.

(Panel 2. Go to the Temple of Bloom. We see the place in longshot. It is a scary, foreboding temple. Lightning strikes in the background. There are no clouds, however.)

Cap (N1): It's location is so secret not even the writer knows where it is.*

Cap (N2): The only way here is through treacherous mountains, a river that makes Niagara Falls look like a calm, placid river, and one of the swampiest places on Earth.

Cap (N3): It is the Temple of Bloom!

SFX: KRACK-A-WHOOM!!

Cap (Editor): *But I do. HAHAHAHAHA!

(Panel 3. Widdle Wade teleports in.)

Wade: Good thing I've got a teleporter. Alright, let's get this show on the road!

(Panel 4. Wade steps up to the entryway.)

Wade: Well, here it is, the Temple of Bloom.

SFX: KRACK-A-WHOOM!!

(Panel 5. Wade looks around.)

Wade: Why is there lightning when there are no clouds in the sky?

(Panel 6. Widdle Wade pushes on the door.)

(Page 4, panel 1. Widdle Wade walks down the corridor.)

Cap (N1): And carefully he goes.

Cap (N2): Moving with great stealth.

(Panel 2. The numerous captions in this panel bump Widdle Wade.)

Cap (N1): He knows that he must move with caution.

Cap (N2): He knows that there is great danger here.

Cap (N3): He knows that at any minute, he can set a trap off.

Cap (N4): He knows that these traps are gruesome.

Cap (N5): Yet he continues on.

Cap (N6): Continues because he can.

Cap (N7): Continues for the rewards at the end of the trial. Wade: Do you mind!?

(Panel 3. Wade slices up the captions with his Katana. Use the same captions from last panel.)

Wade: Do they pay you by the word or something?

(Panel 4. Wade walks down the corridor.)

Wade: It's bad enough that they got me on this silly assignment.

(Panel 5. Widdle Wade comes to a large door.)

Wade: A door. Let's get it open.

(Page 5, panel 1. We see Widdle Wade try to pry the door open with a crowbar, without success.)

Wade: UNGH!

(Panel 2. Widdle Wade attacks the door with a pickaxe, which breaks upon hitting the door.)

SFX: SKRENCH!!

(Panel 3. Widdle Wade puts a bomb at the base of the door.)

Wade: This'll be a blast.

(Panel 4. Wade hides behind a column, putting his fingers in his ears. Panel 5. Same as panel 4.)

Wade: Where's the boom?

(Panel 6. Wade steps out to the explosion.)

SFX: WHOOM!!

(Page 6, panel 1. We see Widdle Wade all broken and mangled on the opposite wall.)

Wade: Ouch.

(Panel 2. Wade is back to normal. We see the door is unaffected.)

Wade: Good thing I heal fast. Too bad the door didn't break.

(Panel 3. Wade thinks.)

Wade: Hmm. . .

(Panel 4. Wade takes out a feather, and touches it to the door. Panel 5. The door opens.)

Wade: Just needed a light touch.

(Page 7, panel 1. Wade enters the treasure room to see Lil' Silvie and her Wild Pack there, carrying the gold off.)

Wade: Lil' Silvie!!

Silvie (turns): Well, Widdle Wade. What a surprise. I don't suppose you'd like to help me carry out this treasure, would you?

(Panel 2. Widdle Wade throws a temper tantrum.)

Wade: It's not fair! It's not fair! I braved the dangers of this place! I want the money!!

Silvie (1): Hey, we're the ones who had to brave the traps.

Silvie (2): Besides, you're messing up my hair.

Reb (sings): Ah'm so pretty. . .

(Panel 3. Widdle Wade gets upset.)

Wade: It's not fair! Every time I do a mission, you beat me to it! Can't I win for once!?

Silvie: Oh, stop it Wade. You're acting like a little kid.

(Panel 4. Widdle Wade throws a temper tantrum, stomping his feet.)

Wade (1): I am not!

Wade (2): Am not!

Wade (3): Am not!

Wade (4): Am not!

Wade (5): Am not!

SFX: Stomp! Stomp!

(Panel 5. Silvie pulls out an impossibly huge gun, and points it at Widdle Wade.)

Silvie: Get out of my sight, Wade.

Wade: Wait a minute. You couldn't hold up a gun that big. You don't have superhuman strength, and besides, that much weight concentrated on the floor would make the floor collapse.

(Panel 5. Silvie is shocked.)

Silvie: You just HAD to point that out, didn't you?

Wade: Well, I'm trying to keep the goofs down, but believe me, it's not easy.

(Panel 6. Silvie and the Wild pack crash through the floor, and the pot of gold lands in Widdle Wade's hands.)

SFX: CRASH!!!

Wade: I should get a no-prize for this one, but I'll take the gold instead.

(Panel 7. Wade goes off with the gold.)

Wade (sings): I'm in the money. . . I'm in the money. . .

(Panel 8. We see Widdle Wade's face by himself.) Wade: Well, that's all for now. If you want to see more of me, write us at Marvel comics.

--End--