(Front cover. We see Firelasher with a collar around her neck, and a chain coming from that collar. At the other end of the chain is T-Ray.)
Cap (N): The truth behind Firelasher revealed! (Inside front cover. We see the usual blurbs for Deadpool, Firelasher, T-Ray, and Slasher. Page 1, panel 1. Deadhut. We see Deadpool and Firelasher sleeping in bed next to each other. They are covered from neck to toe with the sheets, but we can tell they have an arm around each other.) Cap (N1): The Deadhut. T-Ray: You are mine, Roberson. Do as I command!
Firelasher: NEVER!!
T-Ray: You are my tool in defeating Wilson... now you will do as you are told.
(Page 2, panel 1. Back at the Deadhut. Firelasher Sits up, wakes up, and screams at the same time. She separates from Deadpool.)Firelasher: NNNOOOOO!!!!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool wakes up to see Firelasher looking around.)Deadpool: Teri? What's wrong?
Firelasher: Oh... thank God it was a dream.
Deadpool: You're safe now, Teri. That bad dream can't hurt you.
(Panel 4. They start to kiss.)Firelasher: Wade... morning breath.
(Panel 5. They separate.)Deadpool: Uhn... right.
(Page 3, panel 1. We see them in the bathroom holding glasses of mouthwash. Both of them wear a bathrobe.)Deadpool: Cheers.
(Panel 2. They gargle.)SFX: Gargle! Gargle! gargle!
(Panel 3. They spit.)SFX: Puti!
(Panel 4. Deadpool puts an arm around Firelasher.)Deadpool: Now, let me give you that comforting I wanted to give you.
(Panel 5. They kiss. Panel 6. They part lips.) Deadpool (1): Let's take a shower together, what say?
Firelasher : You just never stop, do you? Twenty-four hours a day, you're a walking mountain of testosterone.
Deadpool (2): Well, I'm only in the mood for love when a certain very hot redheaded babe is near me.
Firelasher: We did it last night, Wade. Wasn't that enough for you?
Deadpool (1): Well... no.
Deadpool (2): Come on, Teri. It's not like I haven't see you before.
Firelasher: Well, all right, Wade. But after this, no more of that for awhile. I'm only human, you know. I can't keep it going 24 hours a day like you want.
Deadpool: Thank you so much, Teri.
Cap (N): And after showering...
Deadpool: Teri, you're the best.
Firelasher: So are you, Wade.
Deadpool: So, are you ready for a good workout today?
Firelasher: Yea.
(Panel 5. Firelasher suddenly grabs her stomach.) Firelasher: UHN!
(Page 5, panel 1. Firelasher suddenly turns into a monster, red with hideous fangs and other unpleasant features.) Deadpool (1): Teri!! Deadpool (2): God, I hope it's not something you've eaten. Firelasher: GRWARR!!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool panics, but keeps his wits about him.) Deadpool (1): O.k., maybe we shouldn't have done the showering together thing. Deadpool (2): I hope this isn't you when you've suddenly gotten pregnant. Deadpool (3): Then again, It could be PMS.
(Panel 3. The Firelasher monster attacks Deadpool, swatting him with her spiked tail. Blood spurts from Deadpool.) SFX: WHAM!! Deadpool: UHN!!
(Panel 4. Deadpool pulls away from Firelasher, and looks himself over. He sees the blood coming from his stomach.) Deadpool: Uhn... I really shouldn't fight after I've eaten.
(Panel 5. Deadpool kicks the Firelasher monster.) SFX: WHOK! Deadpool: But sometimes in this business that's unavoidable.
(Panel 6. Firelasher slashes Deadpool's arm, drawing blood.) SFX: SLASH!! Deadpool: Teri, come on! I know you're in there somewhere! Fight it!
(Page 6, panel 1. The Firelasher monster knocks Deadpool out cold.)
SFX: POW!!!
Deadpool: UHN!
(Panel 2. T-Ray appears.)
T-Ray: Well done, my pawn.
Panel 3. T-Ray turns Firelasher back into herself.)
Firelasher: Uhn...
(Panel 4. Firelasher collapses, falling to her knees.)
Firelasher (1): Well, if it isn't the poster child for celibacy... T-Ray.
T-Ray: You have done well, Roberson. Remember, this can happen at any time, anywhere. There's nothing you can do to stop it.
(Panel 5. T-Ray disappears.)
Firelasher: Leave us alone, T-Ray! Haven't we suffered enough!?
(Panel 6. Firelasher then faces Deadpool.)
Firelasher: Ohmigawd! Wade!!!
(Page 7, panel 1. A hospital bed. Firelasher stands over Deadpool, who has several bandages all over his body.)
Cap (N1): She teleported him to the hospital.
Cap (N2): Firelasher is very worried about Deadpool.
Firelasher (1): Wade, I know I don't tell you this as often as I should, but I love you.
Firelasher (2): In all this craziness we've had to endure, there's always been one constant.
Firelasher (3): Love.
Firelasher (4): Or in your case, it's more like lust.
(Panel 2. Firelasher holds Deadpool's hand.)
Firelasher (1): Get better, Wade.
Firelasher (2): We're all counting on you.
Firelasher (3): You've never let anyone get the best of you.
(Panel 3. Deadpool wakens.)
Deadpool: -----
Firelasher: Wade?
(Panel 4. Firelasher gets closer to Deadpool.)
Deadpool: -----.
Firelasher: Wade? Can you hear me?
(Panel 5. Firelasher is mere millimeters away from Deadpool's face.)
Firelasher: What is it, Wade?
(Page 8, panel 1. Deadpool kisses a very shocked Firelasher.)
Firelasher: MNEF!!
(Panel 2. They part lips.)
Deadpool: I knew it. Even hurt you still wanted me.
Firelasher: Wade, get real.
(Panel 3. Deadpool smiles.)
Deadpool: Come on, Teri. Lighten up for once.
Firelasher: I did last night. Listen Wade, while you were out I found out who was behind that transformation of mine... T-Ray.
(Panel 4. Deadpool stops smiling.)
Deadpool (1): T-Ray?
Deadpool (2): The guy's a big honking thorn in my side.
Deadpool (3): So what's he want now?
Firelasher: To break us up, apparently.
(Page 9, panel 1. Deadpool sits up.)
Deadpool: Well, we've fared worse, Teri... we'll make it through this.
Firelasher: I know, Wade. I just feel so guilty for hurting you.
(Panel 2. Deadpool turns the situation to his advantage, but Firelasher is not amused.)
Deadpool: Well, I can think of a few things we can do to make itup to me.
Firelasher (Coldly): Don't go there, Wade.
(Panel 3. Deadpool is bummed out.)
Deadpool: O.k., then how about a nice walk?
Firelasher: You're incorrigible, Wade.
Panel 4. Deadpool smiles.)
Deadpool: Well, I'm your incorrigible love.
Firelasher: *Sigh* ... I give up. You let your private parts rule your life.
(Panel 5. Deadpool takes Firelasher's hand.)
Deadpool (1): Not necessarily, Teri.
Deadpool (2): I just can't help think of anything but love when you're near.
Deadpool (3): Don't you feel the same way?
Firelasher: No.
(Page 10, panel 1. Firelasher pulls away from Deadpool.)
Firelasher: All right, I'll make you a deal. If you can go one day without hitting on me, I'll sleep with you every night for a week.
(Panel 2. Firelasher smiles slightly.)
Firelasher: And if you can't you have to take me shopping every day for a week.
Deadpool: Well... you've got a deal.
(Panel 3. They shake hands.)
Firelasher: One day now.
Deadpool: One day, starting now.
Cap (D): I know I can do it.
Cap (F): He hasn't a chance.
(Panel 4. They suddenly find themselves in T-Ray's death den.)
Deadpool: Crikey O'Banion not again.
Firelasher: Oh God...
(Page 11, panel 1. Enter T-Ray.)
Deadpool (1): Well, if it isn't the poster child for celibacy.
Deadpool (2): What do you want, T-Ray?
(Panel 2. Focus on T-Ray's deadpan face.)
T-Ray: The time has come for my creation to betray you and kill you.
Deadpool: What??
(Panel 3. T-Ray turns to Firelasher.)
T-Ray: She knows what I mean.
Firelasher: Erm... no I don't.
(Panel 4. T-Ray is serious.)
T-Ray: Your destiny is about to be filled, Teri Roberson... after all, you're not for real.
(Panel 5. Deadpool is confused.)
Deadpool: Not real?? What are you talking about??
(Page 12, panel 1. T-Ray smiles sinisterly)
T-Ray: You just don't get it, do you Wilson? Well, here's the scoop. I created Firelasher.
(Panel 2. Deadpool is shocked.)
Deadpool: You... created... her?
T-Ray: Yes, and I can ruin her too.
Firelasher: But... I have memories of life before you captured me! I remember being a little girl in Seattle! I remember going to the University of Washington!
(Panel 3. T-Ray puts one of his post-it notes Firelasher.)
Firelasher: AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!
T-Ray: Die.
Deadpool: TERI!!!!!!!
(Panel 4. Firelasher disappears.)
Deadpool: TERI!!!!!
T-Ray: The point of an opponent is not to just defeat them, but to crush them completely... mind, body and soul.
(Page 13, panel 1. Deadpool faces T-Ray.)
Deadpool: You... you killed her!!!
T-Ray: She never was alive to begin with, Wilson.
(Panel 2. Deadpool goes postal.)
Deadpool: YOU KILLED THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE EVER REALLY LOVED!!!
T-Ray: She wasn't alive, Wilson. You don't get it, do you?
(Panel 3. Deadpool tries to slash T-Ray with his katana, but T-Ray only catches the katana.)
T-Ray: Now I've got you right where I want you.
(Panel 4. T-Ray pulls on the katana, sending Deadpool back into a wall.)
SFX: WHAM!!
Deadpool: UHN!
(Page 14, panel 1. Deadpool, with a separated shoulder, looks up at T-Ray.)
Deadpool: How... how did you know what I wanted in a woman?
T-Ray: Oh...
(Panel 2. T-Ray shapeshifts into Gerry.)
T-Ray: A little old man told me.
Deadpool: GERRY!?!?
(Panel 3. Deadpool resets his shoulder.)
SFX: SHLURK!
Deadpool (1): Well, if this isn't a kick in the pants.
Deadpool (2): If you can't trust a bum on the street, who can you trust?
(Panel 4. T-Ray picks up Deadpool.)
T-Ray: I have a lot of effort put into ruining you completely, Wilson. And some inside information.
(Page 15, panel 1. Deadpool is dizzy.)
Deadpool: Hey... let's call a time out here.
T-Ray: In real life, there are no time outs.
(Panel 2. T-Ray breaks Deadpool's back.)
SFX: SKRLURCH!!!
Deadpool: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
(Panel 3. Deadpool lies on the ground, broken and battered.)
Deadpool: Uhn... all right, you win, T-Ray.
Panel 4. T-Ray stands over the fallen Deadpool.)
T-Ray: I have just begun to hurt you, Wilson.
(Page 16, panel 1. Deadpool straightens out.)
SFX: SKRENCH!!
Deadpool: Uhn.... time for beddie-bye.
(Panel 2. T-Ray slaps Deadpool in the face.)
T-Ray: Forget it, Wilson. I'm going to keep you awake for this.
(Panel 3. T-Ray throws a post-it note at Deadpool.)
T-Ray: This should keep you awake for awhile.
Deadpool: Uhn...
(Panel 4. T-Ray picks up Deadpool.)
T-Ray: I am going to keep you in severe pain for the rest of your life, Wilson.
(Panel 5. Deadpool suddenly makes a drop kick on T-Ray.)
SFX: WHAM!!
Deadpool: Don't count me out yet!
(Page 17, panel 1. Deadpool stands, now without his katana.)
Deadpool: You've ruined my life, T-Ray! It's time you got what's coming to you!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool dives at T-Ray, hitting T-Ray.)
SFX: WHAM!!
(Panel 3. Deadpool tears off the bandage on T-Ray's face.)
SFX: RRRRIIIIPPPP!!!
Deadpool: DIE, T-RAY!!!
(Panel 4. We see that T-Ray has a second bandage beneath the first one.)
T-Ray: Fool me once, shame on you.
Deadpool: Uh-oh.
(Panel 5. T-Ray strikes Deadpool's arm, breaking it.)
T-Ray: Fool me twice, and I'll be really honked.
SFX: SKRUNCH!!!
Deadpool: AH!
(Page 18, panel 1. T-Ray strikes Deadpool's shoulder, breaking it.)
SFX: SKLURCH!!!
Deadpool: UHN!!!
T-Ray: I love the sound of bones breaking in the afternoon.
(Panel 2. T-Ray stands over the fallen Deadpool.)
T-Ray: Not laughing now, are we?
Deadpool (1): Uhn...
Deadpool (2): Did you get the liscence of that semi that ran over me?
(Panel 3. T-Ray picks up Deadpool's sword.)
T-Ray: I've waited a long time for this, Wade... Now you get to die.
(Panel 4. T-Ray holds the sword oover his head.)
T-Ray: Good bye, Wade... death really becomes you.
(Page 19, full panel page. Firelasher suddenly reappears, in a blast of flame.)
Firelasher: NO!!!!
(Page 20, panel 1. Firelasher hovers next to T-Ray.)
Firelasher: I may have been created by you, T-Ray, but I am more than your lacky! I have gone beyond the spell you have created me with! Now and forever... I am in love with Wade!
Deadpool (1): Holy shiznit.
Deadpool (2): Looks like your plan backfired, T-Ray.
Deadpool (3): And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
(Panel 2. Firelasher blasts T-Ray with fire.)
T-Ray: This is impossible! I created you, I can destroy you!!
Firelasher: There's more to me than you ever made, T-Ray... when I was with Wade, I have grown, I have learned, and I have loved.... something you never could have done with me.
(Panel 3. We see T-Ray on fire.)
Firelasher: You've lost, Hoek! let Wade and I go!
Deadpool: Let's try something again.
(Panel 4. Deadpool holds Firelasher's hand, and activates his teleporter.)
Deadpool (1): You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men.
Deadpool (2): So long, screwy, see you in St. Louie!
(Page 21, panel 1. Deadhut. Deadpool and Firelasher teleport in.)
Deadpool: Thank God I have you back, Teri.
Firelasher: It's wonderful to be back, Wade.
(Panel 2. Firelasher, now flameless, embraces Deadpool, who returns her embrace.)
Deadpool: And I hope you'll be here for a long time to come.
Firelasher: So do I.
(Panel 3. Deadpool and Firelasher kiss. Panel 4. They part lips.)
Deadpool: Say, let's have dinner together, what say?
(Panel 5. Firelasher kisses Deadpool.)
Firelasher: You've lost the bet, Wade.
(Page 22, panel 1. Cut to Quamp's crowded apartment, specifically his bedroom. I wake up, sit up, and scream at the same time.)
Quamp: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Panel 2. Quamp looks around.)
Quamp: Oh... thank God that was just a dream.
(Panel 3. Enter Quamp's roommate, Icehole.)
Icehole: Quamp, what's wrong?
(Panel 4. Quamp faces Icehole.)
Quamp (1): I had a horrible nightmare.
Quamp (2): I dreamed I wrote this cockamamie Deadpool story that was as convoluted as most Marvel plotlines. In it Firelasher was shown to be a construct of T-Ray and he tried to make her go away to break Deadpool ...
Icehole: Quamp, that was no dream. You really did write that convoluted plotline.
(Panel 5. Focus on Quamp's face.)
Quamp: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I'm ruined!!!!!!!