(Front cover. We see Siryn in her uniform, sonically screaming at Deadpool.)
Siryn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Deadpool: All right, all right, I'm sorry I've been hitting on you!
(Inside front cover. We see the usual blurbs for Deadpool, Blind Al, Deuce, Siryn and T-Ray. Page 1, panel 1. Deadhut. We see Deadpool teleporting in with some groceries.)
Deadpool: Oh, Alfred, come on out! Ollie ollie oxen free!
(Panel 2. Enter Al, using Deuce to guide her.)
Al: Did you get what I asked for?
Deadpool: Sure thing, the Depends, and your favorite brand.
(Panel 3. Al looks Deadpool over as Deadpool sets the bags of groceries down.)
Al's thoughts (1): (I'm beginning to think he's been kidnapped by an alien.)
Al's thoughts (2): (He's been nice to me all this week.)
(Panel 4. Deadpool puts up the groceries.)
Deadpool: Well, next week things should be better, right?
(Page 2, panel 1. X-Force headquarters. We see Siryn in the shower, from the shoulders up only. Everything below that is covered by the water from the shower streaking by.)
Cap (N1): Meanwhile, across town,
Cap (N2): Siryn has her usual morning shower.
Siryn's thoughts: (It feels good to have a nice shower.)
(Panel 2. Siryn shuts off the water, but we still don't see anything below her shoulders.)
Siryn's thoughts: (Well, that was fun. Now I'll just dress and we can have the morning workout.)
(Panel 3. Siryn reaches for a towel that is not there.)
Siryn: Where is that bloody towel? I got chlorine in me eyes.
(Panel 4. A red glove holds up a towel for Siryn. Siryn reaches for the towel.)
Voice (Which sounds like Deadpool's voice): Here you go, Terry.
Siryn: Thanks, Wade.
(Panel 5. Siryn wraps herself with the towel, and realizes that someone else is with her. She gets an asterisk (*) over her head.)
(Page 3, panel 1. Siryn sonically screams.)
Siryn: WADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
(Panel 2. We see the door to the bathroom go flying off its hinges, nearly knocking Warpath down. Warpath is clad in a towel and holds some soap and a brush.)
Warpath: What the --!?
(Panel 3. Siryn enters.)
Siryn (as angry as she can be): WHERE IS THAT BLOODY &*$# DEADPOOL!?!?!?
Warpath: What are you talking about, Theresa?
(Panel 4. Siryn faces Warpath.)
Siryn: That bloody #$*& tried t'take a look at me while I showered!! Where is he!?!?
Warpath: Nobody's come out of that shower except for you, Theresa.
(Page 4, panel 1. Enter Sunspot, Meltdown, and Moonstar.)
Sunspot: Sehnor Bom!
Meltdown: What happened?
(Panel 2. Siryn faces the others.)
Siryn: I caught that $#%@ Deadpool trying t'look in on me. He's nae in the bathroom, did ye see him come out here?
Meltdown: Well... no.
Moonstar: Doesn't he have some device that lets him teleport?
(Panel 3. Focus on Siryn's face.)
Siryn: When I see the lad again, heaven help him... because I'm gonna put him through hell!
(Panel 4. Deadhut. We see Deadpool wearing a hologram of his pre-weapon X appearance, in a Hawaiian flower shirt and shorts. He is talking to Alfred.)
Deadpool: I've got to go get some tools, but I should be back within the hour.
Al: Well, good luck, Wade.
(Page 5, panel 1. Deadpool teleports out.)
Deadpool: I'll see if I can scrounge up something for you.
(Panel 2. Go back to Siryn. We see her wearing a nice blouse and miniskirt. She is facing Warpath, who wears a polo shirt and blue jeans.)
Cap (N): Later...
Warpath: Don't let him get you down, Theresa. We're all here for you.
(Panel 3. They go out to their car.)
Siryn (Smiles): I'm not gonna let anything stand in me way today, love.
(Panel 4. They get in the car, and drive off. Page 6, panel 1. We see Siryn sitting in the passenger seat as Warpath drives.)
Warpath: So what's on deck for today?
Siryn: I'm gonna get something for me wardrobe.
(Panel 5. We see Deadpool's head on the floor of the car, looking up Siryn's skirt.)
Deadpool: Well, the view from down here is nice.
Siryn: WADE!?
(Panel 2. They stop the car as Deadpool vanishes.)
Siryn: How did he get beneath the seat?
Warpath: Good question. There's not enough room for him down there.
(Panel 3. They arrive at the mall.)
Warpath: Anyway, we're here, Theresa.
(Panel 4. They walk to the door.)
Siryn: Well, he wouldn't bother us here, right?
(Panel 5. Siryn opens the door to see Deadpool in a store. Deadpool wears his pre weapon X hologram and a shirt and blue jeans.)
Siryn: There he is!!
(Page 7, splash page. Leave room for credits here. We see Siryn grab Deadpool, and slam him against a wall.)
Siryn (angered beyond anything she's ever been before): GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDNA KILL YE RIGHT NOW, WILSON!!!!!!!!
Deadpool: Uhm... the people who buy my series would be disappointed?
SFX: SLAM!!
(Page 8, panel 1. Siryn grits her teeth at Deadpool.)
Siryn: HAVE YE NO SHAME!?!? YE'VE MADE ME LIFE A LIVING HELL THIS DAY, WILSON!!!!
Deadpool (confused, 1): Huh?
Deadpool (2): I haven't seen you in quite awhile, Terry.
(Panel 2. Siryn slams Deadpool against the wall again.)
SFX: SLAM!!
Siryn: Why, I otta turn ye inside out!! How could ye do such a thing t'me!?
Deadpool (1): I'm sensing a lot of hostility here.
Deadpool (2): Could we talk this over?
Deadpool (3): Preferably in my private jaccuzi.
Deadpool (4): But don't bring him along.
(Panel 3. Warpath intervenes.)
Warpath: Theresa, let me handle this.
Siryn: Stand back, love ... I want t'hurt him myself!
Deadpool (1): Gee, thanks...
Deadpool (2): I think. Deadpool (3): S&M?
(Panel 4. Warpath grabs ahold of Deadpool's wrist.)
Warpath: Do you enjoy having your wrist broken, Pool?
Deadpool (1): Thank you I'd rather now.
Deadpool (2): But maybe you can tell me just what the heck is going on here?
(Panel 5. Siryn faces Deadpool.)
Siryn: It's only because it's wrong t'kill ye that I donna do it right now... but ye'd better leave me alone, and now!!
Deadpool (1): Well, certainly, Terry.
Deadpool (2): Just what did I do to deserve this?
(Page 9, panel 1. Siryn throws Deadpool to the floor.)
Siryn: Ye know what ye did! I saw ye tryin' t'take a look at me!!
Deadpool (1): Since when has it become bad to look at you?
Deadpool (2): You have to admit, you are a babe, Terry.
Deadpool (3): Surely lots of other men like to look at you.
Warpath: Lots of other men don't suddenly teleport in and out of the bathroom while she showers.
(Panel 2. Deadpool turns to Warpath, confused even more.)
Deadpool: What? I never did that. Today I've mostly been in this store looking for a new circular saw.
(Panel 3. Siryn grits her teeth as Deadpool stands.)
Siryn: Donna be lying t'me, Wade! I know better than t'trust ye!
Deadpool (1): Terry, it's true.
Deadpool (2): Honest Ingun.
Deadpool (3, to Warpath): No offense intended.
(Panel 4. Warpath picks up Deadpool by his neck, and holds Pool up.)
Warpath: Listen Wilson, I don't trust you, I never have trusted you, and I never will trust you. When you hurt a friend, you hurt me too. And that makes me want to hurt you.
Deadpool: Look, I have no idea what you're talking about, I've been in this store all morning. Relax, Warpath.
(Panel 5. Siryn stares daggers at Deadpool.)
Siryn: Ye've done some low things, Wade, but this takes the cake!
(Page 10, panel 1. Go to outside the mall, in the distant parking lot. We see Deadpool flying in, courtesy of Warpath and Siryn.)
Deadpool: RRRRYYYY!
(Panel 2. Deadpool crashes onto the pavement.)
SFX: SLAM!!!
Deadpool: UHN!!
(Panel 3. Deadpool lies on the pavement.)
Deadpool: Uhn...
(Panel 4. Deadpool continues to lie on the pavement.)
Deadpool: Check myself over... 1 cracked rib, check... 1 separated shoulder, check... 1 twisted ankle, check... enough pain to make me want to shoot myself... check.
(Panel 5. Deadpool resets his shoulder and rib.)
SFX: SKLURCH!
Deadpool: And the sound is just as bad as the pain.
(Page 11, panel 1. Deadpool tries to sit up, but cannot.)
Deadpool: Try teleporting from here.
(Panel 2. Deadpool teleports out. Panel 3. Go back to Siryn and Warpath. We see them going back to their shopping.)
Siryn: I hope that's the last we've seen of tha' lad.
Warpath: He usually learns his lesson the first time around.
(Panel 3. Deadpool's head comes from behind the bench where the packages are.)
Deadpool: Eh... could be not!
Siryn: Wade!?
(Panel 4. Deadpool's head vanishes as Siryn goes up to the bench.)
Siryn: Have ye nae learned yer lesson?
(Panel 5. Deadpool appears behind Siryn.)
Deadpool: You should learn to relax more, Terry.
Siryn: UHN!!
(Panel 6. Siryn lashes out at the air behind her.)
Siryn: Stand still ye bloody @#$*&|+!!
(Page 12, panel 1. Warpath and Siryn look around for Deadpool, who they cannot find.)
Warpath: Some men...
Siryn: Come on, love. Let's go home.
(Panel 2. Go back outside to the parking lot. We see Deadpool stand uneasily.)
Deadpool: Uhn... there's gotta be a better way to prove my innocence.
(Panel 3. Deadpool stands.)
Deadpool: I'm going home ... as soon as I get that circular saw.
(Page 13, panel 1. Go back to Siryn and Warpath. We see Siryn lead Warpath to a photo booth.)
Siryn: Come on, Jimmy. It'll be fun having our picture taken.
Warapth: I don't think there's enough room for both of us in there, Theresa.
(Panel 2. We see Warpath sitting in the booth.)
Warpath: There's really not enough room here for me, Theresa.
Siryn: Hang on love, I'm coming in.
(Panel 3. Siryn crowds herself into the booth.)
Warpath: I really don't see how you could fit in here. Siryn: Relax, love.
(Panel 4. Siryn sits on Warpath's lap.)
Siryn: All right, let's take that picture.
Warpath: I got a bad feeling about this one.
(Page 14, panel 1. We see them outside the booth and the pictures come out of the machine.)
SFX: Pipt!
Siryn: Something t' remember us by.
(Panel 2. We see the pictures. Behind Warpath and Siryn is Deadpool. Deadpool holds up a peace sign behind Warpath's head in the first picture. In the second one, he has his mask raised slightly, and sticks his tongue out at the camera. In the third one, he makes it look like he's skewering the head of Warpath. In the fourth one, he points his gun at Warpath's head.)
Warpath: I knew this would happen.
(Panel 3. Siryn gets frustrated.)
Siryn: WADE!!!
(Panel 4. Go back to Deadpool. We see him teleport in with several bags of stuff into the Deadhut.)
Cap (N): And at the same time...
Deadpool: LOOSSEEE!! I'm home!
(Page 15, panel 1. Deadpool sets down the stuff he was carrying.)
Al: Did you remember the milk, Wade?
Deadpool: Milk? Erm... I'll be right back.
(Panel 2. Deadpool teleports out. Panel 3. We see Deadpool get knocked off course, and go wildly flying about.)
Deadpool: OH GAWD!!! Not agaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnn!!!
(Panel 4. Go back to Siryn and Warpath. We see them piling several packages in their car.)
Cap (N): After about two hours of shopping, and more of "Deadpool's" interference ...
Siryn: I'll be glad t'get home.
(Panel 5. Suddenly the car (and Siryn and Warpath) fall into a portal.)
Siryn: What the --!?
Warpath: Not again!!
(Page 16, panel 1. T-Ray's death den. We see T-Ray standing over Deadpool, who is shackled to a board.)
T-Ray: Comfy, Wade?
Deadpool (1): Almost.
Deadpool (2): I got a splinter in a place I can't mention in a code approved book.
Deadpool (3): I'd be more comfortable ramming my katana in your head.
(Panel 2. T-Ray is face to face with Deadpool.)
T-Ray: Good.
Deadpool: I got one word for you, T-Ray... mouthwash.
(Panel 3. From behind a plastic barrier, Siryn and Warpath appear.)
T-Ray: Ah, so good for you to come... you were almost too late for the Death of Deadpool!
Siryn: Who are ye?
(Panel 4. Deadpool faces Siryn and Warpath.)
Deadpool (anxious, 1): Siryn! Warpath! Get out of here now! This guy's an even bigger psycho than I am!
Deadpool (2): And that's saying a lot, coming from me.
(Panel 5. T-Ray approaches Siryn and Warpath.)
T-Ray: You may call me T-Ray... as for why you are here, I want the woman he loves see Wilson tortured to death.
Siryn: Well, that's fine wi' me.
(Panel 6. T-Ray is apprehensive.)
T-Ray: What are you talking about?
Siryn: After the way he's treated me today, he can rot in hell f'r all I care.
Deadpool: Siryn! I swear I'm innocent of everything!
(Page 17, panel 1. T-Ray is face to face with Siryn.)
T-Ray: Ah, yes... he did look at you while you showered, then looked up your skirt, didn't he?
Warpath: How do you know about this?
(Panel 2. Deadpool realizes.)
Deadpool: You were behind that all along!
T-Ray (turns): Moot point, Wilson. You're going to die any second now, and I'll have my revenge.
(Panel 3. Siryn screams at the barrier.)
Siryn: NO!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!
(Panel 4. Warpath charges the barrier, striking it. This causes the barrier to fall down.)
Siryn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
SFX: WHAM!!
(Panel 5. Warpath strikes T-Ray, sending him back. Siryn rushes toward Deadpool.)
Siryn: I'll have ye out of there in a jiffy.
(Page 18, panel 1. Siryn screams at Deadpool's shackles as Warpath goes toe-to-toe with T-Ray.)
SFX: WHAM! POW!
Siryn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool's shackles shatter as T-Ray throws Warpath out of panel.)
T-Ray: You won't get away this time, Wilson!
(Panel 3. Deadpool makes a diving tackle as Warpath recovers.)
Deadpool: T-Ray, you've become very useless.
SFX: WHAM!
(Panel 4. T-Ray breaks Deadpool's arm by snapping it in two. Warpath rushes back to Deadpool's aid.)
SFX: SIKLURNCH!!
Deadpool: AH!
T-Ray: Afraid of a little pain, are we? Good.
(Panel 5. Warpath strikes T-Ray with his hand, connecting on T-Ray's jaw.)
SFX: POW!!!
(Panel 6. Deadpool grabs Siryn and Warpath.)
Deadpool: We should just leave!
(Panel 7. Deadpool pushes his teleporter, but nothing happens.)
T-Ray: I magically blocked your teleporter, Wilson. You're not leaving alive.
(Page 19, panel 1. Siryn screams in T-Ray's ear.) Siryn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool picks up a pipe. Siryn stops screaming.)
Deadpool: Let us go, T-Ray!
T-Ray: Never!
(Panel 3. Deadpool strikes T-Ray with the pipe, making the pipe bend around T-Ray's head.)
SFX: WHAP!
(Panel 4. T-Ray falls down.)
Deadpool: Next time, keep my friends out of this.
(Page 20, panel 1. We see car, Siryn, Deadpool, and Warpath teleport into the mall's parking lot.)
Cap (N): And so...
(Panel 2. Siryn and Warpath face Deadpool.)
Siryn: Wade, can ye ever forgive me?
Deadpool: Hmm... I think so... for a kiss.
(Panel 3. Siryn is not amused by this.)
Siryn (coldly): Don't push yer luck, mercboy.
Deadpool: Well, it was worth a try.
(Panel 4. Warpath and Siryn drive off.)
Warpath: I hope we never see him again.
Deadpool: Keep in touch, all right?
(Page 21, panel 1. Deadpool faces the audience.)
Deadpool (1): I must be doing something wrong.
Deadpool (2): Injun there won't return her love, but she still hangs onto him anyway.
Deadpool (3): Why can't I have a babe that'll swoon over me?
(Panel 2. Deadpool turns away.)
Deadpool: Well, I guess if you look like a refugee from the torture pits of Galedemos IV...
(Panel 3. Deadpool walks off into the sunset.)
Deadpool: Well, tomorrow is another day!
Cap (N): Next time: Something Squirrelly happens to Deadpool!
