"A Siryn Raid"
(Front cover. We see Deadpool holding up a porno magazine which has Siryn's picture on the cover. He is wide-eyed.)
Deadpool: An angel is a Centerfold!?
(Inside front cover. We see the usual blurbs for Deadpool, Firelasher, Blind Al, Deuce, Siryn, and Warpath. Below that, we see this blurb:)
Jeff Lee- Editor for Petshop magazine, which published the pictures of Siryn.
Sligo- Mysterious mutant who has a past with Siryn. He is somehow involved with her appearance in the magazine.
(Page 1, panel 1. The Deadhut. We see Blind Al entering the room where Deadpool is. Blind Al has several magazines and some other mail.)
Cap (N1): San Francisco, home of the Deadhut.
Cap (N2): And living with Deadpool is his assistant/slave, Blind Al.
Cap (N3): She is bringing in the mail for today.
Al: Mail time, Wade. Feels like you've gotten all those porno mags that you subscribe to today.
Deadpool: Good, I could use an uplifting experience.
(Panel 2. Deadpool looks through the mail.)
Deadpool: Hmm. . . bill, junk, junk, bill. . . ah, here we go. The good stuff.
(Panel 3. Deadpool looks through his porno mags.)
Deadpool: Let's see here. . . Some blondes, some brunettes. . . wait a minute, here's a redhead.
(Panel 4. Deadpool opens up one of the magazines.)
Deadpool (1): I've always had a special part in my heart for redheads.
Deadpool (2): Especially that Irish redhead I call Terry.
(Panel 5. Deadpool reads the magazine.)
Deadpool (1): I must be seeing things.
Deadpool (2): This woman looks almost exactly like Terry.
(Page 2, splash page. Leave room for credits here. Deadpool jumps to his feet, shocked beyond belief.)
Deadpool (1): Hold the phone!!
Deadpool (2): This is Terry!!!
(Page 3, panel 1. Enter Blind Al.)
Al: Wade, what's wrong?
(Panel 2. Deadpool faces Blind Al.)
Deadpool: I can't believe this! My Terry naked as a jaybird in this mag! What in the world posessed her to do this!?
Al: If you're desparate enough, you can do just about anything.
(Panel 3. Deadpool shows the magazine to Blind Al.)
Deadpool (1): But look at this!
Deadpool (2): Oh, I forgot, you're blind.
(Panel 4. Deadpool looks the magazine over.)
Al: So what makes her different from all those other bimbos that pose in those magazines?
Deadpool: I find this hard to believe. Terry was special. She had class. Someone made her do this.
(Panel 5. Deadpool continues to read the magazine.)
Deadpool (Sings): My blood runs cold/ My memory has just been sold. My angel is a centerfold!
Al: Don't quit the day job, Wade.
(Page 4, panel 1. Go over to Siryn and Warpath. We see them in a shopping center, shopping for Teresa. Warpath holds some boxes.)
Cap (N1): It's the first time in a long time they've had some money.
Cap (N2): Siyn's wardrobe was in serious danger of running out.
Cap (N3): So they shop in San Francisco.
Warpath: Are you finished yet, Terry?
Siryn: Jimmy love, I've just begun t'shop.
(Panel 2. Siryn walks to a woman's clothing store.)
Siryn: I see a dress I canna do without
Warpath: you've spotted about 10 dresses you can't do without today. Is this ever going to stop?
(Panel 3. Siryn faces Warpath.)
Siryn: I certainly hope not.
(Panel 4. Warpath sets the boxes down.)
Warpath: I want to take a break. I'm going over to that bookstore there.
Siryn: All right, Jimmy. I'll catch up t'ye latter.
(Page 5, panel 1. Go over to a nearby bookstore. We see some copies of Petshop in the back area.)
Cap (N1): And in a nearby bookstore,
Cap (N2): Things will be troublesome indeed.
(Panel 2. We see two kids (about 10-15) looking through a copy of Petshop magazine.)
Warpath's thoughts: (They look a little too young for that.)
(Panel 3. Warpath stands behind the two youths.)
Warpath: Say, aren't you a bit young to be reading that?
(Panel 4. The kids turn to face Warpath.)
Kid 1 (1): What's it to you, gramps?
Kid 1 (2): Holy $%*:&!!
(Panel 5. The two kids run away, dropping the magazine at the feet of Warpath.)
Warpath: These kids today. . .
(Panel 5. Warpath picks up the magazine, which has Siryn on the cover.)
Warpath's thoughts: (Say, this woman looks just like Teresa. . .)
(Panel 6. Warpath opens the magazine, and is shocked beyond belief.)
Warpath: By the Grandfather! It is Teresa!!
(Page 6, panel 1. Warpath goes out of the bookstore.)
Clerk: Hey, you gonna pay for that?!
(Panel 2. Warpath faces the clerk.)
Warpath (Coldly): I'll bring it back.
(Panel 3. Go back to Siryn shopping. We see her in a pleasant green dress, one piece with a short skirt on it. She looks herself in the mirror.)
Siryn's thoughts: (Hmm. . . this isna bad at all. I think I'll take it.)
(Panel 4. Enter Warpath. He is shocked, hurt, and confused.)
Warpath: Teresa. . . why?
Siryn (turns): Why what?
(Panel 5. Warpath shows the magazine to Siryn, opening it up for her.)
Siryn (Shocked beyond belief): WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
(Panel 6. Siryn takes the magazine.)
Siryn (angered): WHO THE BLOODY HELL DID THIS!?!?!?!?
Warpath: Then you didn't agree to this.
(Page 6, panel 1. Siryn turns to Warpath, anger written all over her face.)
Siryn: I most certainly did not! I'm going t'talk to these publishers - now!
(Panel 2. Go back to Deadpool. We see him reading the copy of Petshop with Siryn in it.)
Cap (D1): Terry, Terry, Terry. . .
Cap (D2): I knew you weren't the saint you always claimed to be.
Cap (D3): But this one is a kick in the pants.
Cap (D4): Who'd thought you would do this?
(Panel 3. Enter Al.)
Al: Wade, are you finished drooling yet?
Deadpool: I find it very hard to believe that Teresa would do this. . . but I'm glad she did.
(Panel 4. Al is serious.)
Al: Well, your friends at Landeau, Luckman, and Lake are on the phone.
Deadpool: I'll take it in here.
(Panel 5. Deadpool talks into the phone.)
Deadpool: Timmy's discount used lemonade stand. Beat the heat with our special treat!
Zoe (from the phone): POOL! Yer needed now!
(Panel 6. Split the panel with a phone cord. On one side is deadpool. On the other is Zoe.)
Zoe: There's somthing weird going on in San Franciso. You're our only agent available there, so get to the mall, pronto!
Deadpool: Will do, chief! What should I be looking for?
(Page 7, panel 1. They continue to talk in a split panel.)
Zoe: Someone's using magic to tear holes in space/time. Go and stop them!
Deadpool: Will do, chief! Deadpool out!
(Panel 2. Deadpool hangs up the phone.)
Deadpool: They need me now, Al. Smoke me a ham I should be home for dinner!
(Panel 3. Deadpool gets his weaponry.)
Deadpool: Well, I'll be back.
(Panel 4. Deadpool teleports out.)
Al: That's what General Custer said.
(Page 8, panel 1. Go back to the shopping mall. We see Siryn and Warpath at a row of telephone booths.)
Siryn: Someone is going t'pay for this!
(Panel 2. Siryn dials a number on the phone while Warpath holds the book up for her.)
Siryn: This is the editorial department's number. . .
SFX: Beep beep boop beep boop
(Panel 3. The phone rings.)
SFX: Ring! Ring!
(Panel 4. An automated answering system picks up the phone.)
SFX: Click!
System (1): Thank you for calling Petshop magazine. If you know your party's extension, you may dial it at any time. For subscriptions, press 1.
System (2): For the photography studio, press 2.
System (3): For Customer Service, press 3.
System (4): For submissions, press 4.
System (5): to check on an order placed, press 5.
System (6): For our Petshop friend wakeup service, press 6.
System (7): Or to speak to an operator, press 0.
(Panel 5. Siryn pushes 0.)
SFX: Boop.
System: One moment, please.
(Panel 6. Elevator music wafts out of the phone.)
Siryn: Och, bloody tecnology.
(Page 9, panel 1. Siryn finally gets an operator.)
Cap (N): After a considerable amount of waiting. . .
Operator: Thank you for calling Petshop magazine, this is Kimmy. How may I help you?
Siryn (noticibly annoyed): I want t'speak to someone in charge.
(Panel 2. The operator connects her to the editor.)
Operator: The Editor is available now, I will connect you.
(Panel 3. Split the panel with a phone cord. We see Siryn on one side, looking angry. On the other side we see the Editor, a balding 40something male who wears a suit and tie. He is at his desk, in a lavish corner office.)
Editor: My name is Jeff Lee, may I help you?
Siryn: This is Teresa Roarke. How DARE ye publish those pictures of me!!!
(Panel 4. The editor is serious.)
Editor: Ms. Roarke, what a pleasant surprise. We've been getting rave reviews about you. I'd like to-
Syrin (interrupts): I'M GONNA SUE YE!!! I DIDNA GIVE YE PERMISSION TO PUBLISH THOSE PICUTRES!!!
(Panel 5. The editor pulls out a folder.)
Editor: Actually, Ms. Roarke, you did.
Syrin: WHAT!?!? Yer full o'the Blarney!!!
(Panel 6. The editor holds up a document which has Siryn's signature on it.)
Editor: Actually, you signed the release form on March 14, 1992.
(Page 10, panel 1. Siryn pulls back.)
Siryn's thoughts: (March 14, 1992. . . I. . . I canna remember that day! It was back when I was drinking!)
Siryn: I donna remember this.
Editor: You know Ms. Roarke, beautiful redheads are hard to come by these days. . . especially natural redheads. We can set you up on a
wonderful modeling plan that will assure you a healthy salary for years to come.
(Panel 2. Siryn gets mad again)
Siryn: POSE AGAIN!?!?!? ARE YE OUT OF YER MIND!?!?!? I'M GONNA SUE YE!!!
(Panel 3. Siryn slams the phone down on the receiver.)
SFX: SLAM!!!!!
Warpath: So what did he tell you?
(Panel 4. Siryn cries on Warpath's shoulder.)
Siryn: It's terrible, Jimmy. . . he said I agreed t'pose for the pictures when I was an alcoholic. . . they say they have a consent form signed by me there.
(Panel 5. Warpath is serious.)
Warpath: We'll sue them, Teresa. They can't get away with this.
Voice (from off panel): Touching, isn't it?
(Panel 6. Siryn and Warpath turn to face Sligo.)
Sligo: Terribly nice of you to pose for us, Teresa. . . the photographer was originally going to destroy the photos . . . until I convinced him otherwise.
Siryn: Ye mean killed him.
Warpath: Who is this?
(Page 11, panel 1. Siryn approches Sligo.)
Siryn: He calls himself Sligo. He's completely out of his mind.
Sligo: I prefer the term "Sanity challenged." However, Now that your life is ruined forever, you will now feel the pain I have felt all this time.
(Panel 2. Warpath approaches Sligo.)
Warpath: You're a sick puppy, Sligo! What has she ever done to you!?
Sligo: She stole something from me.
(Panel 3. Sligo gestures, sending Warpath backwards.)
Sligo: I grow tired of this. Out of my way, Indian.
SFX: SHWOOF!
(Panel 4. Siryn unleashes her sonic scream on Sligo.)
Siryn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
(Panel 5. Sligo gestures, and a metalic mask appears on Siryn's face.)
Sligo: Silence is golden, Roarke.
(Panel 6. Warpath recovers, rushing Sligo.)
Warpath: Leave her alone!
(Page 12, panel 1. Sligo strikes Warpath, sending Warpath down.)
SFX: WHAM!!!
(Panel 2. Siryn struggles to get the mask off her face.)
Siryn: MNEF! MNEF!
(Panel 3. Sligo stands over Siryn.)
Sligo: And now, you will die!!!
(Panel 4. Sligo stands still. Panel 5. Sligo falls to see Deadpool behind him. Deadpool holds a broken club.)
Deadpool: Don't hurt her.
(Page 13, panel 1. Deadpool slices the mask off of Siryn.)
SFX: SLASH!
Warpath: Wilson.
(Panel 2. Siryn stands, removing the mask from her face.)
Siryn: I donna know how ye found us, Wade, but I'm glad ye did.
(Panel 3. Warpath and Siryn face Deadpool.)
Deadpool: Are you alright, Terry?
Siryn: Aye - I'm fine now.
(Panel 4. Firelasher teleports in.)
Firelasher: Wade, how many times have I - who are you?
Deadpool (1, turns): Teri?
Deadpool (2): Oh boy, it's gonna hit the fan now.
(Panel 5. Firelasher approaches Deadpool.)
Firelasher: I knew it! The minute I turn my back on you you're off with someone else!
Deadpool: Teri, please. Landeau, Luckman and Lake sent me here.
(Panel 6. Firelasher grabs Deadpool by the ear, leading him off.)
Firelasher: I want to continue this in private.
Warpath: What's going on here? Who is she?
Deadpool: OW! Not the ear! It's the only part of me that hasn't been blown off upteen times!
(Page 14, panel 1. Firelasher leads Deadpool off.)
Siryn (confused): Did I see what I think I saw?
Warpath: Could Deadpool actually have a girlfriend trying to straighten him out?
(Panel 2. They shake their heads.)
Warpath & Siryn (simultaneously): Nah!
(Panel 3. Go over to Firelasher and Deadpool. We see them in a side-hall. Firelasher is very upset.)
Firelasher: I can't believe this. The moment I go off on my own for a little you run off to someone else who vaguely looks like me!
Deadpool: Teri, let me explain - That was Siryn, and she's an old friend of mine.
(Panel 4. Firelasher folds her arms across her chest, not believing him.)
Firelasher: Don't try that on me, Wilson. I am very well aquainted with your libido.
Deadpool (1): It's true, Teri. She doesn't like me. She's in love with the Indian there.
Deadpool (2): Even though she can't admit it yet. . .
(Panel 5. Firelasher turns away.)
Firelasher: Even if the feeling wasn't mutual, I could tell you were drooling over her on the inside.
Deadpool: Please, Teri, Don't do this.
(Panel 6. Deadpool tries to comfort Firelasher, and puts his hand on her shoudler.)
Deadpool: There's room only for one woman in my heart. . . and you fill it completely.
(Page 15, panel 1. Firelasher faces Deadpool.)
Firelasher: Do the words Fatal Attraction mean anything to you?
Deadpool (removes his hand): Teri, granted I have had a wandering eye in the past, but that's behind me now.
I love you, and only you. I met Siryn long before you. Sure, you kinda look like her, but she doesn't even come close to
what you mean to me.
(Panel 2. Firelasher is serious.)
Firelasher: So you love me because I vaguely look like her.
Deadpool: I never said that. Siryn is a platonic friend, nothing more.
(Panel 3. Deadpool takes Firelasher's hands.)
Firelasher: They told me not to get involved with you. I wanted to bring the good in you out,
Wade. Looks like I failed.
Deadpool: Let me prove it to you, Teri. You're the only woman for me.
(Panel 4. Firelasher moves away from Deadpool.)
Firelasher: It's sad, really. We could have been so good together. But you chose to follow your johnson and drool
at the sight of every woman who comes into your view.
Deadpool: Teri, she might have ment something to me, but that was before I met you. You've been so wonderful to me - you're my last chance for love. I'm your last
chance for love. Please, don't throw away all the time we could have together.
(Panel 5. Firelasher exits.)
Firelasher: Good bye, Wade.
(Panel 6. Deadpool drops to his knees, disconsolate.)
Deadpool: No. . . .
(Page 17, panel 1. Deadpool stands up.)
Deadpool: I've got to get her back, now.
(Panel 2. Deadpool goes after Firelasher.)
Deadpool: Teri! Wait!!
(Panel 3. Deadpool enters Firelasher's room to see her pulling out some luggage.)
Firelasher: It's over, Wade. Drop it.
Deadpool: Teri, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I never did. You're the one thing I need in my life.
I can't live without you.
(Panel 4. Firelasher sets the suitcase on the bed, and opens it.)
Firelasher: Too little, too late. I don't want to be around you if you're going to drool at every "total babe" you meet.
(Panel 5. Deadpool pulls out a gun.)
Deadpool: I can control my libido, just you watch me.
Firelasher: I have watched you, Wade. That's why I'm leaving.
(Panel 6. Deadpool pulls out a gun.)
Deadpool: Then I have no alternative.
Firelasher: Wade! No! Don't shoot me!!
(Page 18, panel 1. Deadpool sticks the gun to his head.)
Deadpool: It's not you I'm going to shoot.
Firelasher: Wade! No! Don't do this!
(Panel 2. Firelasher grabs his hand which holds the gun in it, and makes him miss shooting his head.)
SFX: BLAM!!
(Panel 3. Deadpool is on the verge of crying.)
Firelasher: All right, Wade. I won't go.
Deadpool: Teri, I love you very deeply. You've got to believe me when I tell you nobody else matters.
(Panel 4. Firelasher embraces Deadpool.)
Firelasher: Wade. . . I forgive you. I never knew how much of an anchor I was to you. . . I guess I overreacted.
(Panel 5. Deadpool raises his mask, revealing his mouth.)
Deadpool: Well, I'm a kiss and make up kind of guy.
(Panel 6. Deadpool kisses Firelasher.)
Voice (from off panel): Well, I would never have believed this had I not seen it.
(Page 19, panel 1. Deadpool and Firelasher part, and turn to see Warpath and Siryn there.)
Deadpool: Do you mind?
Siryn: He's really serious about this, Jimmy.
Warpath: Well, it's nice to see that he's for real.
(Panel 2. Deadpool approaches Warpath, putting his mask on solidly.)
Deadpool: Well, I've gotten serious about my Teri, now it's time for you to get serious about yours.
Siryn: What are ye on about, Wade?
(Panel 3. Deadpool faces Siryn.)
Deadpool: Well, that's simple, Terry. . . you two love each other deeply, whether you want to admit it or not.
(Panel 4. Siryn is serious.) Siryn: Warpath and I are comfortable with our relationship as it is, Wade.
Deadpool: Take it from someone who knows. . . if you don't go for it, you're going to spend the rest of your lives wondering what could have been.
(Page 20, panel 1. Deadpool puts an arm around Firelasher.)
Deadpool: Granted, your relationship won't be as disfunctional as mine, but you'll be happy, and that's the main point.
Firelasher: All Wade really needed was a strong, solid person to help him be on the straight and narrow. I help him out as much as I can.
(Panel 2. Warpath and Siryn exit.)
Firelasher: Love does weird things to people.
Deadpool: True. . . but it does better things to them too.
(Panel 3. Deadpool raises his mask slightly, revealing his mouth. Firelasher puts her arms around him.)
Deadpool: Now, where were we?
Firelasher: I believe we were here.
(Panel 4. Firelasher and Deadpool kiss.)
(Page 21, panel 1. We see Siryn and Warpath get into the car.)
Warpath: I hope things work out between them.
Siryn: Aye - I really couldna stand his constant drooling.
(Panel 2. They drive the car off.)
Warpath: Well, Teresa. (Panel 3. We see the car in a long shot, with the car in the distance, going away from the Deadhut, up a San Francisco hill.)
Warpath: Tomorrow is another day.
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