(Front cover. We see Deadpool and Firelasher there, wearing their uniforms. They are in the hands (one each) of a large D'Spayre, who holds them up. All we see of D'Spayre is his face and hands.)
Cap (N): In the grasp of D'Spayre!
(Inside front cover. We see the usual blurbs for Deadpool, Firelasher, Blind Al, Deuce, and D'Spayre. The rest of the page relates what has happened previously. Page 1, panel 1. Deadhut. We see Firelasher sitting in the lap of Deadpool. She is wearing a nice blouse and tight blue jeans, and he wears a polo shirt and blue jeans. Both of them have an arm around each other, and do not wear their masks. They smile.)
Cap (N1): San Francisco, home of the Deadhut.
Cap (N2): Right now, Deadpool and Firelasher are enjoying a more private moment.
Deadpool (sings): Oh baby that's a-what I like!
Firelasher: Well, so do I.
(Panel 2. Enter Blind Al, with Deuce.)
Al: I'm going to take Deuce for a walk now.
Firelasher: Well, enjoy Al.
(Panel 3. Al smiles.)
Al: Yea . . . you too.
(Panel 4. Exit Al and Deuce.)
Firelasher: You know, sometimes I think she isn't as blind as she says she is.
Deadpool: Well, blind people sort of have a sixth sense about these kinds of things.
(Panel 5. Deadpool kisses Firelasher.)
Deadpool: Guh.
(Panel 6. They part lips.)
Firelasher (smiles): Guh yourself.
(Page 2, splash page. We see them kiss again in the foreground. In the background we see D'Spayre looming over them.)
Cap (N1): And he comes in.
Cap (N2): His name is D'Spayre.
Cap (N3): and he is about to make their lives hell.
(Page 3, panel 1. Deadpool cocks an eyebrow.)
Deadpool: Do you get the feeling we're being watched?
Firelasher: You mean besides the 2 or so people reading this?
(Panel 2. Deadpool and Firelasher stand.)
Deadpool: I could swear someone was behind me.
(Panel 3. They look around.)
Firelasher: I don't see anyone.
(Panel 4. Deadpool faces Firelasher.)
Deadpool (1): Must be my imagination.
Deadpool (2): Well, time for a workout.
Deadpool (3): Of course, there's nothing like a workout for two.
(Panel 5. We see Deadpool and Firelasher, both now wearing their uniforms, stretching.)
Deadpool: Ah, a great body starts with the right amount of exercise.
Firelasher: And getting in enough exercise will give almost everyone a good body.
(Panel 6. Deadpool lifts a barbell with several weights on it.)
Deadpool: Yea. . . and that's certainly a turn-on to everyone else.
Firelasher: *Sigh* . . .
(Page 4, panel 1. Firelasher lifts some weights as Deadpool continues to lift the barbell.)
Deadpool: So are you going to work on the bench press?
Firelasher (not amused): You just want to look down my uniform while you spot me.
(Panel 2. They continue to lift weights.)
Firelasher: Have you got an overactive Y chromosome, Wade?
Deadpool (1): Hmm . . . nope.
Deadpool (2): It's pretty typical for all men.
(Panel 3. They continue to pump iron.)
Firelasher: Then it's a good thing there are women in the world.
Deadpool: Definitely. Vive la difference!
(Panel 4. Firelasher rolls her eyes.)
Firelasher: Wade, calm your libido.
Deadpool (1): In your presence? It's very hard.
Deadpool (2): In more ways than one.
(Panel 5. Firelasher is frustrated.)
Firelasher (1): All right, I'll do bench presses if promise to lay off the libido for awhile.
Deadpool: I really appreciate this, Teri.
Firelasher (2): I'll bet.
(Page 5, panel 1. Firelasher lies on the bench press, and Deadpool stands over her. There is a barbell with a few weights on it.)
Cap (N): Later. . .
Firelasher: Are you happy now?
Deadpool (1): Definitely.
Deadpool (2): Guh.
(Panel 2. Firelasher does some bench presses while Deadpool spots her.)
Firelasher: You know I really hate being treated like a slab of cheesecake.
Deadpool (1): Well, it could be worse.
Deadpool (2): You could be drawn by Jim Lee and have to endure those painful poses all issue.
Deadpool (3): His characters have to keep a chiropractor on retainer, you know.
(Panel 3. Firelasher sets the barbell on the stand.)
Firelasher: With you Wade, it doesn't get much worse.
Deadpool: Or much better.
(Panel 4. Firelasher sits up as Deadpool sits next to her.)
Deadpool: Well, we've had a nice workout.
Firelasher: Time to warm down and then a shower.
(Panel 5. Deadpool turns on the charm.)
Deadpool: Yea. . . and we should do our part in saving water.
Firelasher: And what do you mean by that?
(Panel 6. Deadpool puts an arm around Firelasher.)
Deadpool: We can take a shower together, that would save water.
Firelasher: *SIGH*. . . you're not going to be satisfied until you get me naked, are you?
(Page 6, panel 1. Hearts appear around Deadpool.)
Deadpool: Come on, Teri. I love you deeply. I know you love me. We've been together for some time now, and we should take our relationship to the next level.
(Panel 2. Firelasher grimaces.)
Firelasher: Well. . . all right, Wade. But just remember who agreed to this.
(Panel 3. We see them warm down.)
Deadpool: Oh ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou.
Firelasher: I get the point, Wade. You can stop that now.
(Panel 4. We see Firelasher wearing a bathrobe only. She is in the bathroom, running the shower.)
Cap (F1): The things I do for love.
Cap (F2): Sure, I love Wade.
Cap (F3): But he makes me so mad sometimes.
Cap (F4): And he's on a nonstop testosterone trip.
(Panel 5. Firelasher checks on the water to see that blood is coming out of the shower.)
Firelasher: GASP!
(Panel 6. Enter Deadpool, also wearing a bathrobe.)
Deadpool: What's wrong?
(Page 8, panel 1. Deadpool and Firelasher look at the shower, seeing water coming out of the spout.)
Firelasher: There. . . there was blood coming out of the shower.
Deadpool: Doesn't look like it now. . . are you sure it was blood?
(Panel 2. Firelasher is serious.)
Firelasher (1): I know what I saw, and what I saw was blood.
Deadpool: Come on, Teri. Let's get in the shower.
Firelasher (2): I want to do this alone, Wade.
(Panel 3. We see Firelasher exiting the shower. She has a bathrobe on. She smiles.)
Firelasher: All right, Wade. Your turn.
Deadpool: Well, I hope we can do it together someday.
(Panel 4. Firelasher puts an arm around Deadpool.)
Firelasher: Well, if you're nice to me, I might do it every day.
Deadpool (Perks up): Really? Teri, you're the best.
(Panel 5. They completely embrace.)
Firelasher: Well Wade, you're the best too.
(Panel 6. They kiss. Page 9, panel 1. They part.)
Deadpool: Let's go to bed.
Firelasher (1): You're insatiable, Wade.
Firelasher (2): Good thing I'm in the mood for it.
Firelasher (3): But take a shower first, alright?
(Panel 2. We see Firelasher lying in bed next to Deadpool.)
Cap (N): And later. . .
Firelasher: Well, this is it, Wade. Our first time together.
Deadpool: Yea.
(Panel 3. Suddenly the bed comes to life, and grabs both Deadpool and Firelasher.)
Firelasher: What the --!?
Deadpool: Man, those comics code people are getting more serious every day.
(Panel 4. Firelasher and Deadpool are separated from each other.)
Deadpool: Teri! Flame up!
(Panel 5. Firelasher flames up, but this does not affect the bed in the least.)
Firelasher: It's not working!
(Panel 6. Suddenly Deadpool gets his head cut off.)
Firelasher: WADE!!! NO!!!!
(Page 10, panel 1. Suddenly Deadpool is back to normal, and we see him and Firelasher being separated some more.)
Deadpool: Teri! Got. . . to. . . break. . . free. . .
(Panel 2. Suddenly Firelasher gets a spear in her chest, killing her instantly.)
Firelasher: AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Deadpool: TERI!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
(Panel 3. We see Deadpool standing over Firelasher's dead body.)
Deadpool (emotionally): Teri. . . why? I loved you.
Voice (from off panel): No you didn't.
(Panel 4. Deadpool looks up to see himself looking down on him.)
New Deadpool: All you wanted her for is her body. Lie to other people, but you cannot lie to yourself.
Deadpool (original): I. . . I did love her. I've loved her like I've loved no other woman before.
(Panel 5. The New Deadpool strikes the original Deadpool in the stomach.)
SFX: POW!
New Deadpool: LIAR!!!
(Panel 6. Deadpool holds his stomach.)
Original Deadpool: Uh. . .
New Deadpool: I'm you, Wade. Your own worst enemy. You can't possibly beat me.
(Page 11, panel 1. The New Deadpool strikes the original Deadpool, sending the original one down.)
SFX: WHAM!!
(Panel 2. Go back to Firelasher. We see her standing over the dead Deadpool.)
Firelasher: Come on, Wade. . . where's that rapid healing of yours?
(Panel 3. Suddenly Slasher comes from nowhere, and makes a diving kick onto Firelasher, sending Firelasher down.)
SFX: WHAM!!
Firelasher: UHN!
(Panel 4. Firelasher stands up uneasily.)
Firelasher: You! I should have known!
Slasher: Dear Teri. . . you should have known that you can never get away from me.
(Panel 5. Firelasher points at Slasher, but nothing happens.)
Firelasher: My. . . My powers!!
Slasher: Now that you're helpless, you will die!
(Panel 6. Firelasher jumps at Slasher.)
Firelasher: Powerless I may be, but helpless I am not!
Slasher: Take a chill pill, Roberson.
(Page 12, panel 1. Firelasher is covered with a thin layer of frost. She then falls at the feet of Slasher.)
Slasher: Ironic, isn't it? A flame throwing mutant. . . killed by cold.
(Panel 2. Go back to Deadpool. We see him on the ground, hurting. The New Deadpool stands over him.)
New Deadpool (1): Pathetic.
Deadpool: Uhn . . .
New Deadpool (2): Then again, you always hid behind a wall of bravado, Wade Theodore Wilson.
(Panel 3. Deadpool sees his other self morphing into T-Ray.)
Deadpool: Hold. . . the. . . phone . . . T-ray?
(Panel 4. T-Ray picks up Deadpool.)
T-Ray: I've been waiting for this for a long time, Wilson.
Deadpool: Well. . . T-Ray. . .
(Panel 5. T-Ray throws Deadpool.)
Deadpool: AAAHHHHH!!!!
(Panel 6. Ajax catches Deadpool.)
Ajax: Well, look who we have here.
Deadpool: Frances!
(Page 13, panel 1. T-Ray holds Deadpool's wrists. Ajax holds Deadpool's ankles.)
Ajax: Make a wish, Hoek.
(Panel 2. Go back to Firelasher. We see strapped to a chair, with Slasher standing over her.)
Firelasher: Just kill me and get it over with.
Slasher: Oh no, Teri. . . I want you to suffer like I suffered.
(Panel 3. Slasher throws a switch, and Firelasher is electrocuted.)
SFX: ZAPT!!!
Firelasher: AAHH!!!
(Panel 4. Firelasher continues to be electrocuted.)
Cap (F1): Think, Teri.
Cap (F2): Concentrate.
Cap (F3): Overcome the fear.
(Panel 5. Firelasher breaks free of the chair.)
Firelasher: FREE!!
(Page 14, panel 1. Firelasher strikes Slasher with a bolt of flame.)
Firelasher: I'm not afraid anymore, Agnes!!!
SFX: WHOOMPH!!!
(Panel 2. Go back over to Deadpool. We see him being stretched by Ajax and T-Ray.)
Deadpool: UHGN!!
Firelasher: I'm not afraid anymore, Agnes!
(Panel 3. Deadpool realizes.)
Deadpool: Teri? TERI!!!
(Panel 4. Deadpool breaks free from T-Ray and Ajax.)
Firelasher (from off panel): Wade? WADE!?
(Panel 5. Deadpool rushes toward Firelasher's voice.)
Deadpool: Teri!!
(Panel 6. Deadpool crashes through a barrier of glass between himself and Firelasher. The barrier shatters into thousands of tiny pieces.)
SFX: SKREESH!!
(Page 15, panel 1. Deadpool embraces Firelasher.)
Deadpool: Teri. . . thank God I haven't lost you.
Firelasher: Wade. . . what could have done this to us?
D'Spayre (from off panel): It was me.
(Panel 2. Deadpool and Firelasher turn to face D'Spayre there.)
D'Spayre: Congratulations, few manage to slip out of my grasp so easily.
Deadpool: Who are you?
(Panel 3. D'Spayre confronts Deadpool and Firelasher.)
D'Spayre: I have many names. . . but you may call me D'Spayre.
(Panel 4. They continue to talk.)
Firelasher: So why us?
D'Spayre: Superpowered beings always have an added intensity to their fears. . . and fear is what I feed on.
Deadpool: Listen pal, I'm not about to become anyone's midnight snack.
(Panel 5. D'Spayre vanishes in a cloud of smoke.)
D'Spayre: my hunger has been sated. . . for now.
Deadpool: HEY!!!
(Panel 6. Deadpool grits his teeth.)
Deadpool: Rasa frackin' blankety-blank-
Firelasher (interrupts): Wade, I'm tired, let's just go to sleep.
(Page 16, panel 1. We see them back in the bedroom, which has no damage to it.)
Deadpool: Huh? How did we get back here?
Firelasher: I don't care, Wade. Let's just get some sleep.
(Panel 2. Deadpool and Firelasher are lying next to each other in bed. They are maskless and in nightwear, but covered from neck to toe with the sheets.)
Deadpool: What an evening.
Firelasher: You said it, Wade. I really want to sleep now.
(Panel 3. Deadpool turns off the light. Panel 4. Deadpool turns the light back on.)
Cap (N): And about a minute later. . .
Firelasher: Can't sleep either, hm?
Deadpool: No.
(Panel 5. Both of them are nervous.)
Firelasher: Well. . . what do we do then?
Deadpool: We could follow through on our original plans.
(Panel 6. Firelasher is out like a light.)
Firelasher: Zzzz. . . .
Deadpool: *Sigh*. . . That's something I think that's inherent on the second X chromosome.
(Page 17, panel 1. The next morning. We see outside the Deadhut, and the sun rising.)
Cap (N): The next morning. . .
(Panel 2. Go inside to see Deadpool and Firelasher in each other's arms, beneath the sheets. Both of them smile as they wake up.)
Deadpool: Mmm. . . good morning.
Firelasher: Good morning to you too.
(Panel 3. Deadpool and Firelasher kiss. Panel 4. Deadpool and Firelasher suddenly part and turn away from each other.)
Deadpool & Firelasher (Simultaneously): UGH! Morning breath!
(Panel 5. We see them stand up. Firelasher is wearing a sexy nightgown, and Deadpool is wearing a pair of shorts.)
Deadpool: O.k. we worked around the other stuff, we can work around this too.
Firelasher: Let's just get to the bathroom.
(Panel 6. We see them gargling with mouthwash.)
SFX: Gargle! Gargle! Gargle!
(Page 18, panel 1. Deadpool and Firelasher spit out the mouthwash.)
SFX: PTUI!
(Panel 2. They embrace each other again.)
Deadpool: Let's try this one again. Good morning.
Firelasher: Well, good morning to you too.
(Panel 3. Deadpool and Firelasher kiss. Panel 4. They part lips, smiling.)
Deadpool: GUH!!!
Firelasher: Guh yourself, Wade.
(Panel 4. Deadpool continues to hold Firelasher close.)
Deadpool: What say we take a shower together, and save water?
Firelasher: You never stop with that, do you Wade?
(Panel 5. Deadpool holds Firelasher's hands in his.)
Deadpool: Come on, Teri. You've been so wonderful to me. Our love is a mental connection, but not a physical one. I really want to complete the bond between us.
(Page 19, panel 1. Firelasher thinks.)
Firelasher: I tell you what - we'll do it after breakfast, all right?
Deadpool: Deal.
(Panel 2. Breakfast time. Deadpool and Firelasher sit opposite each other at the breakfast table.)
Cap (N): And during breakfast. . . .
Deadpool: Oh Ican'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twait-
Firelasher: I get the point, Wade.
(Panel 3. Blind Al serves up breakfast. She has bacon, eggs, toast, and fruit juice.)
Al: Breakfast is swerved.
Firelasher: I wish I could cook as good as you do, Al.
Deadpool: Well, I'm sure you can cook outside of the kitchen, rrrarrgh.
(Panel 4. Firelasher rolls her eyes.)
Firelasher (To Al): Is he always like this?
Al: Heavens no - usually, he's worse.
(Page 20, panel 1. After Breakfast. We see Deadpool and Firelasher walking away from the table.)
Firelasher: Just a quick brush and then I'll be ready.
(Panel 2. We see Firelasher in sexy lingerie, and Deadpool wears a pair of tight briefs. The two are in Deadpool's room, and look each other over.)
Deadpool: GUH!!!!
Firelasher: Just remember who agreed to this.
(Panel 3. They embrace, and kiss.)
Cap (N1): While things are fine here,
Cap (N2): Elsewhere, they are not. . .
(Panel 4. Cut over to Jackie Lupkus. We see her working out in Salon Martinez. She is doing some aerobic exercises.)
Cap (N1): New York City.
Cap (N2): Specifically, Salon Martinez, formerly Salon Steele.
Cap (N3): Her name is Jackie Lupkus.
Cap (N4): She's never met our merc with a mouth, or Firelasher either.
Cap (N5): But soon, her life will be intertwined with them.
(Panel 5. Jackie stops working out.)
Jackie's thoughts: (Good workout. I'll just warm down and then hit the showers.)
(Panel 6. We see Jackie going to the showers.)
Jackie's thoughts: (Some force seems to be drawing me here. . . what is it? I feel a sinister foreboding . . .)
(Page 21, panel 1. Jackie goes inside the ladies' locker room to see the axe of Skurge lying on a bench.)
Jackie's thoughts: (The axe! I must get away from here!)
(Panel 2. Against her will, Jackie is being pulled to the axe.)
Jackie's thoughts: (Must resist this. . .)
(Panel 3. Enter Susan Austin, also in a leotard.)
Susan: Good God! Jackie don't!!
Jackie: Susan. . . stop me!
(Panel 4. Susan stands between Jackie and the axe.)
Susan: Fight it, Jackie! Fight it! You can resist it!
(Panel 5. Jackie strikes Susan, sending her down.)
SFX: POW!
Jackie: Out of my way.
(Panel 6. Jackie takes the axe, and we are blinded by the release of mystical energies.)
SFX: FWASH!!!
(Page 22, panel 1. Full panel page. We see Bloodaxe standing over Susan.)
Bloodaxe: I'm baaaaccckkk!!
(inset panel 2. The offices of Landeau, Luckman, and Lake. We see Zoe the Expediter there, along with Noah. They are looking over some equipment.)
Noah: Holy %$#&!! Mystical sensors jumped off the scale in New York City! Something big is happening there!
Zoe: Find our closest agent and have them check it out, Noah!