Rule one:  Listen to the good looking guy. Follow his directions and no one gets hurt.

Rule two:  Don't touch the Unicorns

Rule three:  Don't touch anything black or ugly

Rule four:  Don't touch anything with a skull on it

Rule five:  Don't touch anything sparkly

Rule six:  Just don't touch anything

Rule seven:  If it has more than one horn, run screaming

Rule eight:  If it's red and ugly, run screaming

Rule nine:  If it makes an orgasmic or other unpleasant sound, run screaming

Rule ten:  If it starts to dance erraticly, run screaming

Rule eleven:  Just start out running and screaming

Rule twelve:  Don't dance with anything

Rule thirteen:  If it is small and annoying, avoid it

Rule fourteen:  Don't fall in love...it saves on the worry in the dungeon

Rule fifteen:  If it flies or glows, run screaming

Rule sixteen:  Avoid little boys in underwear...cops are watching

Rule seventeen:  If it whispers, it's not on the "Good Things" list

Rule eighteen:  If it's not on the "Good Things" list, avoid it

Rule nineteen:  Don't wear armour at all...if you do you are the new hero...and we all know heroes weren't known to die of old age

Rule twenty:  If you want to be in a fantasy movie ignore rules one through twenty