1.  If someone calling herself Selene takes an obsessive interest in you….

2.  If you find yourself dodging balefire every third step...

3.  If the people calling you Car'a'carn just won't go away...

4.  If you can't get this voice out of your head that keeps screaming  “kill them all”….

5.  If you have one friend who might as well turn hairy when the moon is full, and another who runs a crooked gambling racket….

6.  If you keep wishing you could talk to Mat or Perrin about how to deal with women....

7.  If your right hand is a man called Taimandred, who keeps looking at you funny...

8.  If you have three women after you and are going insane (and not necessarily from the taint, either)….

9.  If you're on the cover of every Robert Jordan book….

10.  …. AND have a different face every time....

11.  If every woman this side of New Yor -- er, the Blight calls you a 'woolbrained sheepherder'….

12.  If a woman wearing blue named Moiraine finds you and says you have to come with her to a Tower….

13.  …and she *doesn't* quote your personals ad from the 'Two Rivers Herald'….

14.  If you hear ONE MORE Forsaken call you Lews Therin….

15.  If someone you know starts calling himself the Prophet, and you KNOW he ain't Moses.....

16.  If you have a horse, and the guys on Usenet think it’s the Creator….

17. If Asmodean taught you more than you EVER wanted to know about the uses of male channeling....

18.  If you take longer and longer to do anything per new book....
 
19.  If you have a name synonymous with the term "aroused".....

20.  ....and don't have what it takes to back it….