YO MAMA IS SO FAT                                                                           5/1/98

      Yo mama so fat she hitch-hikes on dump trucks
      Yo mama so fat she uses hoola hoops to hold up her socks!
      Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
      Yo mama so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
      Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
      Yo mama so fat were in her right now.
      Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
      Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
      Yo mama so fat she was the cause of a major crash.
      Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
      Yo mama so fat, everytime someone say "Kool Aid" she bust through the wall.
      Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
      Yo mama so fat when she sits in the classroom, she sits beside everybody.
      Yo mama so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...
      Yo mama so fat she use a pillow for a tampon.
      Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world.
      Yo mama so fat, she put on a red tee shirt and all the little kids said "Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid".
      Yo mama so fat they wrote a book about her, It was called Moby Dick.
      Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
      Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
      Yo mama so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
      Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
      Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
      Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
      Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
      Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
      Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
      Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
      Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
      Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
      Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
      Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
      Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
      Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
      Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
      Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
      Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
      Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
      Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
      Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
      Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
      Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
      Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
      Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
      Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
      Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
      Yo mama so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her
      Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
      Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
      Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
      Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
      Yo mama so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
      Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
      Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
      Yo mama so fat she got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
      Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
      Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
      Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
      Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
      Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
      Yo mama so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
      Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
      Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
      Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
      Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
      Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
      Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
      Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
      Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
      Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
      Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
      Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
      Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
      Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
      Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.
      Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
      Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
      Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
      Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
      Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
      Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
      Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
      Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
      Yo mama so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
      Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on theother side just to get her through
      Yo mama so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
      Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
      Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
      Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
      Yo mama so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
      Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
      Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
      Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
      Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
      Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
      Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
      Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
      Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an
      eclipse.
      Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
      Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
      Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
      Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
      Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
      Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
      Yo mama so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!
      Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
      Yo mama so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
      Yo mama so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
      Yo mama so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
      Yo mama so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
      Yo mama so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!
      Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!
      Yo mama so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!
      Yo mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development
      Yo mama so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
      Yo mama so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
      Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck.
      Yo mama so fat people go on expeditions on her tits!
      Yo mama so fat . . . she's fat!
      Yo mama so fat he got a ham for a pet.
      Yo mama so fat, when I walked by her house, I saw her ass in every window!
      Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
      Yo mama so fat she wipes her ass with a mattress.
      Yo mama so fat one day it was raining and she put on her yellow coat to go down the street and a kid saw her and said
      "Damn, I missed the bus again!".
      Yo mama so fat she played Free Willy's stunt double.
      Yo mama so fat when she falls in the Grand Canyon, she gets stuck.
      Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
      Yo mama so fat she got an actual size tattoo of the projects on her butt.
      Yo mama so fat that when she drives on the interstate, she has to stop at the weigh station.
      Yo mama so fat when she jumps off the high dive she shows up on radar.
      Yo mama so fat she uses a freeway for a slip and slide.
      Yo mama so fat the she smokes a turkey after having sex.
      Yo mama so fat her butt cheeks look like 2 pigs fighting over Milk Duds.
      Yo mama so fat her belt size is equator.
      Yo mama so fat that people wish to buy food 100% "Yo Mama Free"
      Yo mama so fat they won't allow her on most bridges.
      Yo mama so fat the police dogs stopped her at the airport for having 10 lbs of crack.
      Yo mama so fat she got more crack that South Central LA
      Yo mama so fat when she sat on an ice berge she made crushed ice!!!
      Yo mama so fat she got hit by a car and said, "Who touched me?"
      Yo mama so fat her blood type is RAGU!!!!!!
      Yo mama so fat for a tampon she uses a role of bounty and a rope!
      Yo mama so fat when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.
      Yo mama so fat when she went outside with yellow biker shorts, two midgets jumpped in her ass and thought she was a
      cab.
      Yo mama so fat she fills up the bath tub, and THEN turns on the water.
      Yo mama so fat she couldn't get the part in Forrest Gump because she kept eating the box of chocolates.
      Yo mama so fat she got the part in Raiders of The Lost Ark as the big rolling ball.
      Yo mama so fat when she looks in a mirror, she saw another mirror.
      Yo mama so fat when the guy cursed "thinner" on her she said thanks.

YO MAMA IS SO STUPID

      Yo mama so dumb she thought a hot meal was stolen food!
      Yo mama so stupid, she saw a sign that said "WET FLOOR", So she did
      Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
      Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
      Yo mama so stupid she got a peep hole in a glass door.
      Yo mama so stupid you asked what's for dinner, she put her feet on the table and said corn!
      Yo mama so stupid she went to the drug store and asked for marijuana
      Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
      Yo mama so stupid she thought an aspiration was butt sweat.
      Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
      Yo mama so stupid she went to Doctor Dre. for a Pap smear!!!
      Yo mama so stupid she looks at a can of juice for days 'cause it says concentrate
      Yo mama so stupid that when she was driving to disneyland she saw a sign that said Disneyland left, so she went home.
      Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company
      Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
      Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
      Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
      Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
      Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone and got ran over by a parked car!
      Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
      Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
      Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
      Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
      Yo mama so stupid that she ran into an automatic sliding door.
      Yo mama so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
      Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
      Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
      Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
      Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
      Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
      Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
      Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
      Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
      Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought an elevator was a mobile home.
      Yo mama so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
      Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
      Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
      Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
      Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
      Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
      Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
      Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
      Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
      Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
      Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
      Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
      Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
      Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course
      Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
      Yo mama so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"
      Yo mama so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
      Yo mama so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
      Yo mama so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
      Yo mama so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
      Yo mama so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's
      Yo mama so stupid that she sold potato chips on the corner and said free lays.
      Yo mama so stupid she tried to pur water on her heartburn.
      Yo mama so stupid on a job application it siad "who do you contact in case of an emergency" and she put "911"
      Yo mama so stupid she went to the bakery for a yeast infection.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought Forrest Gump was a national park.
      Yo mama so stupid when she walked into Walgreens her dumb ass said, "These walls ain't green!!"
      Yo mama so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping in front of a parked car.
      Yo mama so stupid she thought Manual Labor was the president of Mexico.
      Yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and she yelled "were's my gumball."
      Yo mama so stupid that when she looked in the mirror, she said stop copying me!
      Yo mama so stupid she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.
      Yo mama so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.
      Yo mama so stupid she brought toilet paper to a crap game.
      Yo mama so stupid she went to a restaurant, looked at the menu and said "Ok"
      Yo mama so stupid she asked for a price check at the $.99 store
      Yo mama so stupid she got fired from a blow job.
      Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a car and said, "I love what you do for me, Toyota!
      Yo mama so stupid she waited four hours for a 24 hour store to open.
      Yo mama so stupid she went to Dunkin Donuts, bought a dozen donuts then went back 30 minutes later and said,"hey,guy
      i want a refund these donuts got holes in 'em!"
      Yo mama so stupid she walked into an antique store and said what's new!
      Yo mama so dumb she locked herself in the bathroom and pissed her pants

YO MAMA IS SO UGLY

      Yo mama so ugly she went into an hunted house and came out with an application
      Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
      Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
      Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
      Yo mama so ugly they put her in the monkey cage to make the monkeys stop jacking off.
      Yo mama so ugly even Freddy Krueger has nightmares of her.
      Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
      Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
      Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
      Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
      Yo mama so ugly when a cop asked for her drivers license he arrested her for carrying a concealed weapon.
      Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
      Yo mama so ugly that she scared the shit out of the toilet.
      Yo mama so ugly she went to get her nose pierced & got stabbed in the ass!
      Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
      Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
      Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
      Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
      Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
      Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
      Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
      Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
      Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!
      Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
      Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
      Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
      Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
      Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
      Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
      Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life
      Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
      Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
      Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.
      Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
      Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
      Yo mama so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass.
      Yo mama so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
      Yo mama so ugly her Rice Crispies won't even talk to her!

YO MAMA SO OLD

      Yo mama so old she has an autographed Bible.
      Yo mama so old powder milk comes out her tits.
      Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
      Yo mama so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
      Yo mama so old that her tities got sour milk.
      Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
      Yo mama so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
      Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
      Yo mama so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
      Yo mama so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
      Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
      Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
      Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
      Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
      Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
      Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
      Yo mama so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
      Yo mama so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to
      anything".
      Yo mama so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse
      Yo mama so old shes blind from the big bang
      Yo mama so old even God calls her mother!
      Yo mama so old she be dreaming in reruns.
      Yo Mama so old she was around when Pizza Hut was just a hut.
      Yo mama so old she still got food from the Mayflower.

YO MAMA IS SO POOR

      Yo mama so poor she can't afford the o or the r.
      Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
      Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
      Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
      Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
      Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
      Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
      Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
      Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
      Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
      Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
      Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
      Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
      Yo mama so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard
      Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop!
      Yo mama so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus.
      Yo mama so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!"
      Yo mama so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner."
      Yo mama so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet!

YO MAMA IS SO DARK

      Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!
      Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!
      Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
      Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
      Yo mama so dark when people refer to Darkness comming in the future they refer to her next visit.
      Yo mama so dark they made a movie of her heart transplant called "From the darkest heart of Africa"
      Yo mama is so dark the police shot at her, and the bullets came back for flashlights.

YO MAMA IS SO DIRTY

      Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
      Yo mama so dirty she makes a pig look clean.
      Yo mama so dirty crabs carry canteens.
      Yo mama so dirty she used Sure and it got confused.

YO MAMA IS SO SHORT

      Yo mama is so skinny her nipples touch
      Yo mama is so short she has to put cuffs in her panties
      Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
      Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
      Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.
      Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.
      Yo mama so short she models for trophys.
      Yo mama so short she is the original Q-tip.
      Yo mama so short she poll vaults with a toothpick.
      Yo mama so short she fell of the side walk and broke her leg.
      Yo mama so short that she represents the sole of america.
      Yo mama so short she can hang glide on a dorito.
      Yo mama so short she can swing her legs when she sit on da curb.

YO MAMA IS SO NASTY

      Yo mama so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
      Yo mama so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
      Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
      Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach
      Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
      Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave
      Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
      Yo mama so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.
      Yo mama so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
      Yo mama so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
      Yo mama so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place
      Yo mama so nasty she was declared quarentine since before she was born.
      Yo mama so nasty she got fired from the Sperm Bank for drinking on the job.
      Yo mama so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo mama
      Yo mama so nasty the bitches teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity Creeps!!!
      Yo mama so nasty she has two pu**ies and they both stink.
      Yo mama so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea
      Yo mama so nasty skunks run from her
      Yo moma's pussy is so nappy that the crabs drive in dune buggys!!!!
      Q: Why did your father trade "yo" mama in for an outhouse?
      A: Because the hole was smaller and it smelled better

YO MAMA IS LIKE

      Yo mama like the Dow Jones: Evrybody owns a share
      Yo mama like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
      Yo mama like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
      Yo mama like a homeless shelter all you got to do is come and get it.
      Yo mama like a McDonald's: Hot, Fast, and Cheap.
      Yo mama like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
      Yo mama like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
      Yo mama like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
      Yo mama like a hockey goilie......same pads through 3 periods.
      Yo mama like a vacuum, she sucks, she blows, and she gets laid in the closet.
      Yo mama like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
      Yo mama like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
      Yo mama like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
      Yo mama like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
      Yo mama like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
      Yo mama like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
      Yo mama like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
      Yo mama like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
      Yo mama like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
      Yo mama like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
      Yo mama like a bowling ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and still comes back for more!
      Yo mama like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
      Yo mama like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
      Yo mama like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
      Yo mama like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
      Yo mama like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
      Yo mama like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
      Yo mama like a potatoe chip seller on 42nd street, "LAYS! LAYS!..."
      Yo mama like castlebury stew: servings are family size
      Yo mama like Pizza Hut . . . Tuesday is kid's night!
      Yo mama like Burger King . . . Home of the Whopper.
      Yo mama like a Pepsi machine! Put in a quarter and out comes the next generation.
      Yo mama like Burger King- your way right away!
      Yo mama like Mc Donalds-billions served.
      Yo mama like JCPenny, doin' it right!
      Yo mama like Sprint-10 cents a minute!
      Yo mama like UsWest-a dollar for unlimited time!
      Yo mama like Denny's-under $3.99.

YO MAMA IS SO HAIRY

      Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
      Yo mama so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!
      Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
      Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
      Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
      Yo mama so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
      Yo mama so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker

YO MAMA IS SO SLUTTY

      Yo mama so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
      Yo mama so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
      Yo mama so slutty she could suck a golf ball through six feet of garden hose
      Yo mama so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
      Yo mama so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
      Yo mama so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
      Yo mama so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
      Yo mama so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
      Yo mama so slutty I fucked her and I's a chick!
      Yo mama so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
      Yo mama so slutty John Holmes just looked at her and got AIDS
      Yo mama so slutty she is known as Homecomming Disease
      Yo mama so slutty she has Trojan written on her gumline.

YO MAMA'S NOSE

      Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
      Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

YO MAMA IS SO GREASY

      Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
      Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco!
      Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

YO MAMA'S TEETH

      Yo mama's teeth so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
      Yo mama's teeth so yellow she spits butter!
      Yo mama's teeth so yellow I can't believe its not butter!
      Yo mama's teeth so yellow that she should be ashamed of a schoolbus!
      Yo mama's teeth so yellow she drinks water and it turns to lemonade.

YO MAMA IS SO LAZY

      Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

YO MAMA IS SO SKINNY

      Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
      Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
      Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.
      Yo mama so skinny she fell through her asshole.

YO MAMA IS SO BALD

      Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help!
      Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind
      Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
      Yo mama so bald, when she put on a turtle neck, and looked like a busted condom.

YO MAMA IS SO TALL

      Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
      Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
      Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

YO MAMA IS SO FLAT

      Yo mama so flat she's jealous of the wall!
      Yo mama so flat that she's like a pirate's dream, a sunken chest.
      Yo mama so flat that she is a carpenters dream, a board never hammered,nailed or screwed.
      Yo mama so flat she makes the grand canyon look like the Rocky Mountains

YO MAMA'S GLASSES

      Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can seen people waving.
      Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
 

YO MAMA HAS

      Yo mama has a neck brace with a cup holder.
      Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.
      Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
      Yo mama has more rolls than the Pilsbury Doughboy.
      Yo mama has a leather back cover with saddle bags.
      Yo mama has so much butter on her teeth, she eats her biscuits plain.
      Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
      Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.
      Yo mama has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
      Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.
      Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
      Yo mama has a 'fro with warning lights.
      Yo mama has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.
      Yo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it.
      Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.
      Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.
      Yo mama has no ears.... I seen the bitch trying on sunglasses
      Yo mama has an ass soo big she has to shit in a dumpster
      Yo mama has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.

YO MAMA GOT

      Yo mama got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
      Yo mama got two wooden legs and one is one backward.
      Yo mama got three fingers and a banjo.
      Yo mama got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
      Yo mama got a bald head with a part and sideburns.
      Yo mama got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
      Yo mama got a wooden leg with branches.
      Yo mama got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
      Yo mama got a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
      Yo mama got eyes in her butt talking about "Damn, did you see that shit?!"
      Yo mama got so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.

YO MAMA'S HOUSE

      Yo mama's house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
      Yo mama's house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
      Yo mama's house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
      Yo mama's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
      Yo mama's house so small, I stepped in the front door, an tripped over the backyard fence.
      Yo mama's house so dirty, she yelled for supper, and all the roaches started sing "We are family!"
      Yo mama's house so small, I put the key in the door, and stabbed five people.
      Yo mama's house so small the front and back door are on the same hinges.
      Yo mama's house so small, the welcome mat says "WEL".
      Yo mama's house so small, I threw a rock in the window and hit the whole family!
      Yo mama's house so dirty the cockroaches left.

YO MAMA'S HAIR

      Yo momma hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.
      Yo momma hair so short she curls it with rice.

YO MAMA'S HEAD

      Yo momma head so big she has to step into her shirts.
      Yo momma head so big it shows up on radar.
      Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.
      Yo momma head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

MISCELLANEOUS STUFF EVERYBODY SAYS ABOUT YOU AND YO MAMA

      Yo mama wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"
      Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!
      Yo mama so loose, she used the Empire State Building as a DILDO!!!!!
      Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!
      Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
      Yo mama's underarms so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in the headlock!
      Yo mama's house so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
      Yo mama reminds me of a toilet shes white, fat, and she smell like shit.
      Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
      Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.
      Yo mama so horny she needs a dildo with jumper cables on it.
      Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.
      Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
      Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
      Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
      Yo mama's cooking so bad the flys help you patch up the screen door!
      Yo mama twice the man you are.
      Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
      Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
      Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
      Yo mama middle name is Rambo.
      Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."
      Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
      Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.
      Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
      Yo mama was in church with a tee-shirt on that said "WHO FARTED?"
      Yo mama is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS SHIT"
      Yo mama threw a frizbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet.
      Yo mama can wrestle a cow to the ground.
      Yo mama referees bar fights without a shirt on.
      Yo mama so country she had a cornbread for a wedding cake.
      Yo mama got 2 fingers and she's a representative for world peace.
      Q. What do yo mama and a clock have in common?? A. It takes 12 to get around them.
      If my dog had a face as ugly as your mama's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.
      Yo mama's ears are so big, she can hear what I'm thinking.
      It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!
      You were born out of your mother's arse 'cos her cunt was too busy.
      I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.
      I seen your mother downtown scrapping with a pigeon for a peanut.
      Yo dick is so small, you pee on your nuts.
      Yo dick is so small, it looks like you have a second bellybutton.
      Yo daddy is like cement, it takes him two days to get hard.
      Yo daddy is like a Mounds bar, has no nuts.
      I called yo daddy a faggot, then he hit me with his purse!