Title : Thumbtacks

Author : Kelly Moreland

Archive :Anywhere, just let me know.

Spoilers : Nada

Rating : PG (for subject matter?)

Category : M/S Friendship, H, V

Summary : The things you do for friends.

Feedback : is what keeps me writing.
k_a_moreland@hotmail.com

Disclaimer : In the big inning, CC *created* M & S, and the
fans saw that it was good. Then CC proclaimed 'Let them have
any fun, and I will sue you!' And the fans saw that this was
bad, and did it anyway. ;-)

Authors note : Thanks go to: Renee, Jemirah, Andrea, and Lynn.
 For laughing in all the right places :-)

Thumbtacks
by Kelly Moreland

"Mulder, it's me."

"Hey Scully, you feeling any better?" He smiled, glad to
hear her voice, gravely as it may be. Two days with no
Scully was very boring.

"I'm getting there," she sniffed, "but I need to ask you for
a favor."

"Name it," he replied with no hesitation.

"Mulder, it's a *really* big favor."

"No problemo, just tell me what it is," he said. He'd been
looking for an excuse to drop by and check on her this
evening, and here she was calling him for a favor. Life
could be so sweet sometimes.

"I need you to pick up something from the store, for me."

"OK. Do I need to make a list?" He peeled off the top sheet
of the note pad he'd been drawing on, and poised, pen in
hand.

"No, it's just one thing."

"OK, what is it?"

"Tampax."

His blood didn't turn to ice, but it did take on the
consistency of a really good daiquiri.

"T-Tampax?"

"I know it's a lot to ask..."

"Scully, I'm a new millennium kind of guy, it's no problem.
Any.. uh.. specific kind?" He tried to sound nonchalant.

"Just the regular kind, Mulder."

Great, he thought, like that tells me anything.

"OK. Regular. Got it. Anything else?"

"Nope. Just those."

"You sure?" He asked, "cough drops, aspirin, anything?"

Something, his mind screamed, please something else besides
just Tampax. Milk? Bread? A quart of oil?

"No, I have everything else."

"OK, I'll be there shortly," he said, glad she couldn't see
his pained expression.

"I'm in bed, so just let yourself in. And Mulder?"

"Yeah?" He said eagerly, hoping by some miracle she suddenly
didn't need them anymore.

"I really appreciate this."

So much for miracles.

"You're welcome, Scully. See you soon."

He hung up the phone and chewed thoughtfully on the inside
of his cheek.

"I'm an FBI Agent and an adult, I can do this," he muttered
to himself, picking up his coat as he headed for the door.

He muttered that phrase to himself quite a few times as he
drove to the store.

A store that was twenty miles away from anywhere he might
possibly go in the foreseeable future.

A little store that he had been by a few times, but had
never gone in. It was a small Mom and Pop kind of store. It
seemed safest. Surely he wouldn't run into anyone he knew.

He parked and got out of his car, almost convincing himself
that the wind was causing his face to feel so hot.

"I'm a grown man," he mumbled under his breath, as he walked
through the door.

It wasn't hard to find the right aisle, but it was very hard
walking down it, because it was occupied.

He strolled casually down the center, passing by two women
who were deeply engaged in conversation.

He decided he must be catching Scully's cold. That as why
his neck felt so warm. He grabbed a blue box from the shelf,
using his peripheral vision to find the one labeled
'Regular'.

He made his way to the check out line, being very careful to
make no eye contact with anyone.

He found the floor pattern fascinating as he stood in line.

Finally he was at the register. He set the box down quickly,
and grabbed for his wallet, still keeping his eyes cast
downward.

"You don't happen to know how much these were, do you?" The
check out girl, who looked about sixteen, asked him between
smacks of gum.

"Uhh.. No," He replied, feeling apprehension grab him.

"They don't have a price tag on them. Just a second," she
said, still smacking her gum.

Time slowed to a distorted crawl as she leaned over to the
microphone by her register, and flipped it on.

"I need a price check on some Tampax for the gentleman in
aisle four," she called loudly, her voice echoing through
the building.

Mulder realized he did not have a file on death by
embarrassment, but he needed one.

"On what?" An elderly male voice called back over the
intercom.

Yes, he would open one tomorrow. If he lived through this.

"Tampax," the girl said again, louder this time.

Mulder stared at the offending box, and cursed quitely to
himself. Why did he pick one with no price tag? Why did he
pick a tiny store that didn't have bar-code scanners? Why
was he born?

"Do you want the kind you push in by hand, or drive in with
a hammer?" The old man yelled back.

Mulder and the checkout girl looked at each other in
confusion, then both glanced down at the box.

"No, Grandpa," she said rolling her eyes, "I said Tampax,
not thumbtacks!"

That was when he noticed the chuckling behind him. Mulder
glanced over his shoulder and saw two men, each holding a
six-pack of beer. He would've slid into the cracks of the
floor, if he thought it were possible.

"What?" The old man yelled out over the intercom again.

The laughter behind him increased, and Mulder hastily dug a
ten out of his wallet and slapped it down on the counter.

"Keep the change," he muttered, stuffing the box into one of
his coat pockets and walking out the door.

Once inside his car, he started to laugh.

He let himself into Scully's apartment, still chuckling, and
called out, "Honey, I'm home."

He walked into her bedroom, to see her propped up against
the headboard. He tossed the box to her and she caught it
easily.

"If those aren't right, you'll have to go yourself."

She picked up the box, glancing it over.

"These are fine, thank you."

"Good, I was afraid you needed the kind you drive in with a
hammer," he started laughing all over again.

"What?!" She screeched, sitting upright suddenly.

He sat down on the side of her bed, trying to still his
laughter.

"You're not going to believe this," he began.

Fini~