Subject:      Re: Annoying people
From:         "W'h'eezer Wilco" <[email protected]>
Date:         1997/04/25
Message-Id:   <01bc5256$832004b0$3f64b0cd@redflag>
Newsgroups:   alt.conspiracy.retards,alt.music.hardcore,alt.vampyres
[More Headers]

I just had to share this with the 'tard community.  Sorry about the the
redundacy and the waste of bandwidth in posting the whole thing again
without really adding anything to it, Internet Vamp'y'res.  But I thought
I'd lay off the keyboard, because I know I'm busting all of your eardums
with all this typing typing typing.  INFERNAL TYPING.  And I'd hate to have
one of you use your super-cooling breath to freeze me or fly around the
world so many times in the opposite direction of the earth's rotation that
we all go back in time and you wrest my little fetus from my mother's womb
and pickle it or put it in a curry sauce, or make it into the teeniest
vampyre.  I'm giving you guys too many ideas.

You know, I watch my cat eating cat food and think "Christ!  That must get
old!"  But a strictly one-liquid diet would get real REAL old in a hurry.
I've tasted my own blood, and it's not bad, but I enjoy my grits, too, you
know?

Does Ann Rice ever come in here and post?  That would be SO cool!  What
about Brad Pitt?  Or Christopher Reeves?

Okay, this is for the A.C.R retards....
HellhammeR <[email protected]> wrote in article
<01bc4f15$3fd40ba0$71481ecc@ben>...
>
>
> White Spirit <[email protected]>  pooped...
> > I was aimlessly wandering around the city the other day.  This lunatic
> > starts talking at me, as if I've offended or irritated him or something
> like the hemorroids encrusting my stretch marked rectum.
>  > What chance do I stand in life if even the loonies can't stand the
sight
>
> of me pretending to be a vampire in public while exposing myself to
> young children in strollers. needless to say
> > I was quite angry about this.  I should have given him a slap so
> > hard that his head burst into the door of a nearby shoe shop
> but i'm way too scrawny & puny to even bench press 90 lbs.(my
> own weight) much less courageous enough to engage in confrontation
> of any kind.
> > But you know what it's like when you go around splattering people's
heads
>
> > into shop doors (if you're not me).
> There's always an old biddy standing there, looking
> > down on you with disgust for the guttersnipe you obviously are for
having
>
> > dared breach a rule of society by having molested a seven year old girl
> & sodomizing an eight year old boy w/ a splintering broomhandle. And, I
can
>
> > see where she's coming from.  But does she have to be so damned
> > judgemental?  And so I would have to teach her a lesson, by grabbing
her
> > Marks and Spencer's collar and forcing her face into the vagina of the
> young
> girl i raped & then dismembered making her suffocate & choke on her
yeast.
> > By now, other onlookers would be gagging and retching at the scene.  It

> > would please me to set fire to one of them and stamp the life from
them,
> > trying to put it out. But I would not have the balls. Surely the law
> would
> > be alerted by now falsely assuming of course there was any truth to any
> of this
> or the possiblity of me backing up my words w/ actions.
> > I would have to make my escape and go to City Hall, to take out my last

> > act of vengeance there.  Vengeance on the bastards witholding money
from
> > me, and vengeance on myself for having been such a fuck-up through
life.
> > I would have to do myself in as a suicide protest because i am
absolutely
> worthless in every way & can't even write believable fiction.
> > And so I would tear into the soft flesh of my wrist, freeing the blood
> > flowing within so i could save my loved ones the disappointement
> & shame of my perverted pedaphilic life.
> > Blood spraying everywhere I look, on the floor, up the
> > walls, on their computers...  in their faces!  Vengeance on them all.
> > White Spirit doesn't have to take fucking crap from anyone's asshole
> w/ his tongue ever again unless he's asked nicely & then i would make the
> delightful transformation into the Brown Spirit. i am a fayg!
>
> dang White Spirit, you should go to alt.molest.children doncha think?
>
come on inside
where the retards abide
alt.conspiracy.retards

-Wheezer
--
***************************************
 Wide World of W'h'eezer
 http://www.polaris.net/~absinth/woo.htm
***************************************

W'h'eezer Wilco wrote:

[snip load of boring mindless crap posted only to goad people into a
pathetic flamewar]

Well, if you're going to quote articles of mine which have been
setectively altered into something quite different, it would be nice if
you didn't x-post them to other groups where people won't actually see
the continuity.

D.
--
"The world keeps turning
 We spin out of control"
                  - Napalm Death

On Sat, 26 Apr 1997 01:28:30 +0000, White Spirit <[email protected]>
wrote:

|>W'h'eezer Wilco wrote:
|>
|>[snip load of boring mindless crap posted only to goad people into a
|>pathetic flamewar]

nah.  I bet he saw the name "white spirit" and correctly intuited it
to mean "white guy- no sense of humor, talent, or clean underwear"
He didn't mean nothin' *bad* by what he done.

|>Well, if you're going to quote articles of mine which have been
|>setectively altered into something quite different, it would be nice if
|>you didn't x-post them to other groups where people won't actually see
|>the continuity.
|>
|>D.

yeah, but then it wouldn't be as funny.
Although, your prose, dude.....why, the sheer audacity of your posting
is hilarious enough to make me soil more than one pair of overalls!
Hell, I was beginning to think the only differences between vampires
and the french were that the french wore berets and smelled worse than
the living dead.
What kinda fool ass edgy-art "I'm so deep and troubled" thing you got
going anyway?
Are you all as fat as Ann Rice and wrapped in cellophane with crystals
and crow feathers and have little vials of O+ you sniff like
"disco-roma" before you pull the beads out of your ass when you think
your coming?  only you weren't  really coming  and by the time you get
all those beads shoved back up your ass the sun's rising?

dick.
 

and that ain't my name.

  <>>< ><<> ><<> <>>< ><<> <>>< <>>< ><<>
    Casbah for Agents, Retards, Lovers and Zombies
           Ava Cairo's Palace of Jackals
                http://exo.com/~lux

[email protected] (Palace of Jackals) sez:

>dick.
>
>
>and that ain't my name.

Ah, why then it must be your occupation.

This thread originated on alt.vampyres where is was on-topic.  It was
crossposted to alt.music.hardcore by Hellhammer, who has since had
it's account closed.  It has, apparently, been added to
alt.conspiracy.retards as well.  I presume that is where we picked you
up.  IF you're planning on talking about your job, I would suggest you
remove alt.vampyres from the followups and repost it to a more
appropriate group related to emploment issues.

Thank you.
Tiernan

  <0o---<>---o0<Mistress of the Wild Hunt>0o---<>---o0>
      "And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
  Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you"
                                  - Kahlil Gibran
<0o---<>---o0<Ingonyama's Lady of the Dance>0o---<>---o0>

Silence Broken - http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/7560/

Tiernan wrote:
>
> [email protected] (Palace of Jackals) sez:
>
> >dick.
> >
> >
> >and that ain't my name.
>
> Ah, why then it must be your occupation.

Witty?  Assenine?  Witty?  Assenine?  Wittttyyyyyyy?
Asssssseeeennnnnine?

The assenine hand is heavier.  I figure all them lifetimes you been
living, you'd be a lot quicker than that.  I mean, really, Tiernan.  You
been flapping your wings around for *how* many hundreds of years saying
"I'm a rubber band, you're glue...."?

>
> This thread originated on alt.vampyres where is was on-topic.  It was
> crossposted to alt.music.hardcore by Hellhammer, who has since had
> it's account closed.  It has, apparently, been added to
> alt.conspiracy.retards as well.  I presume that is where we picked you
> up.  IF you're planning on talking about your job, I would suggest you
> remove alt.vampyres from the followups and repost it to a more
> appropriate group related to emploment issues.

And you based a whole post around it!  I'm *not* trying to be mean,
Tiernan, really I'm not.  I just think that maybe, just *maybe* you
aren't so much a vam'y're as a retard like the rest of us.  Pick.  'Tard
or moron.  There *is* a difference (right Phil?).
>
> Thank you.
> Tiernan
>

No, really.  Thank you.

"Dick.  Name or occupation?" hoohoo!
--
-W'h'eezer

W'h'eezer Wilco <[email protected]> sez:
> .....  I'm *not* trying to be mean,
> Tiernan, really I'm not.  I just think that maybe, just *maybe* you
> aren't so much a vam'y're as a retard like the rest of us.  Pick.  'Tard
> or moron.  There *is* a difference (right Phil?).
 

Maybe in your world everyone is retard or moron.

Or is it just the crowd you hang around with because you can
understand them?
 
 

                                        ^V^  Baby Jinx  ^V^

On 29 Apr 1997 02:18:08 GMT, [email protected] (B J Kuehl) wrote:

|>W'h'eezer Wilco <[email protected]> sez:
|>> .....  I'm *not* trying to be mean,
|>> Tiernan, really I'm not.  I just think that maybe, just *maybe* you
|>> aren't so much a vam'y're as a retard like the rest of us.

|>Maybe in your world everyone is retard or moron.

"....and I think to myself....what a wonderful world...."

B J Kuehl wrote:
>
> Maybe in your world everyone is retard or moron.
>
> Or is it just the crowd you hang around with because you can
> understand them?
>

Duh!  Yeah.

>                                         ^V^  Baby Jinx  ^V^

-W'h'eezer (Ronald Deer, Smogname)

W'h'eezer Wilco <[email protected]> sez:

>The assenine hand is heavier.  I figure all them lifetimes you been
>living, you'd be a lot quicker than that.  I mean, really, Tiernan.  You
>been flapping your wings around for *how* many hundreds of years saying
>"I'm a rubber band, you're glue...."?

*snort*

What lifetimes?  Where did you hear me say I'm a vampyre?  Could you
possibly be shooting your mouth off without a real clear clue?

... nahhhhh, not you.
 

>And you based a whole post around it!  I'm *not* trying to be mean,
>Tiernan, really I'm not.  I just think that maybe, just *maybe* you
>aren't so much a vam'y're as a retard like the rest of us.  Pick.  'Tard
>or moron.  There *is* a difference (right Phil?).

You're half right, I'm not a vampyre.  Nor will you ever find a post
where I say I am.  Of course, you've never seen me before, since I
usually hang around the clues.

*ka-CHING* Wheezer Wilco Killfiled!

Tiernan

  <0o---<>---o0<Mistress of the Wild Hunt>0o---<>---o0>
      "And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
  Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you"
                                  - Kahlil Gibran
<0o---<>---o0<Ingonyama's Lady of the Dance>0o---<>---o0>

Silence Broken - http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/7560/

In article <[email protected]>, Tiernan wrote:
>W'h'eezer Wilco <[email protected]> sez:

>>The assenine hand is heavier.  I figure all them lifetimes you been
>>living, you'd be a lot quicker than that.  I mean, really, Tiernan.  You
>>been flapping your wings around for *how* many hundreds of years saying
>>"I'm a rubber band, you're glue...."?

>*snort*

>>And you based a whole post around it!  I'm *not* trying to be mean,
>>Tiernan, really I'm not.  I just think that maybe, just *maybe* you
>>aren't so much a vam'y're as a retard like the rest of us.  Pick.  'Tard
>>or moron.  There *is* a difference (right Phil?).

>You're half right, I'm not a vampyre.  Nor will you ever find a post
>where I say I am.  Of course, you've never seen me before, since I
>usually hang around the clues.

Wow, what reality testing; a true power of example for all us 'tards.

>*ka-CHING* Wheezer Wilco Killfiled!

Ahh, a killfile. Another profile in courage for us 'tards.
>Tiernan
>                                  - Kahlil Gibran

You quote Gibran in your sig for all the world to see, and
then speak of clues. Can anyone say arrested adolescence?
--
O-

                                -Brien-
                         {[email protected]}
                      #*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#
                        A Watched Rock Boils No
                                  Moss
                       *#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

NOTE: followups: alt.vampyres removed from off topic posts

[email protected] (Brien Sullivan) sez:

>
>You quote Gibran in your sig for all the world to see, and
>then speak of clues. Can anyone say arrested adolescence?

Can you say "illiterate house ape"?

I knew ya could.

Tiernan

Brien Sullivan wrote:

> >You're half right, I'm not a vampyre.  Nor will you ever find a post
> >where I say I am.  Of course, you've never seen me before, since I
> >usually hang around the clues.
>
> Wow, what reality testing; a true power of example for all us 'tards.

[snip]
 
> Ahh, a killfile. Another profile in courage for us 'tards.

Hmm...  I bet you're not a *real* 'tard.  I bet you drool in your soup merely
because the hospital hasn't the foresight to have noticed that food sometimes
tastes better when cooked.  I bet you only get others to wipe you when you
defecate because you are too lazy to do it yourself.

You know...  I think you are an imposter.

You're all a bunch of god damn fakes!!!!!

(And now that you've seen the crap we have had to put up with, do you think we
might finally bury this thread?)

D.
-- 

In article <[email protected]>,
   White Spirit <[email protected]> wrote:

>Hmm...  I bet you're not a *real* 'tard.

I am too and I'm coming over there to rub on you
just to prove it.

--
0-
                            {[email protected]}

Tiernan wrote:
>
> W'h'eezer Wilco <[email protected]> sez:
>
>
> What lifetimes?  Where did you hear me say I'm a vampyre?  Could you
> possibly be shooting your mouth off without a real clear clue?
>
> ... nahhhhh, not you.
>

Are you *kidding*?  Going off half cocked IS WHAT WE DO, and if you're
SO SO SO SO SO SO clueless as to swallow our bait, let us set the hook,
and swim under the boat. ahahahaha.  Who's clueless?  I know *exactly*
what I'm doing.

> You're half right, I'm not a vampyre.  Nor will you ever find a post
> where I say I am.  Of course, you've never seen me before, since I
> usually hang around the clues.
>
Under the boat?

What are you a werewolf, then?  A wuff-man?  Lordy, Tiernan, I was just
kidding, jeez.  Oh!  Here's a good URL for you guys, seriously, and not
sarcasticly.  It's a Robot-Monster-Human trichotomy religion that's
up-and-coming, but not quite all there.
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/6364.  Check out Dr. Phlatus in
there.  I'm done funnin' it's actually quite good.

> *ka-CHING* Wheezer Wilco Killfiled!
>
Awwwwww... we were just getting some good discussion going, though....
"We want to make friends and we won't take no for an answer" -Speedo
--
-W'h'eezer (Ronald Deer, Smogname)

Wheezer <[email protected]> sez:

>Are you *kidding*?  Going off half cocked IS WHAT WE DO, and if you're
>SO SO SO SO SO SO clueless as to swallow our bait, let us set the hook,
>and swim under the boat. ahahahaha.  Who's clueless?  I know *exactly*
>what I'm doing.

*snicker*

Ok.. I admit to a certain amount of morbid curiousity so I browsed
around in alt.conspiracy.retards and you know, I have to admit.. you
guys actually are pretty funny.

>What are you a werewolf, then?  A wuff-man?

Uhhhh... no, I'm an elf-chick.  No, really, I am.  It says right here
on my green card from Faerie...

>> *ka-CHING* Wheezer Wilco Killfiled!
>>
>Awwwwww... we were just getting some good discussion going, though....
>"We want to make friends and we won't take no for an answer" -Speedo

*small*smile*  I never actually killfile anyone.  I just claim it as
an excuse to ignore them later.
 
Pax,
Tiernan

On Tue, 29 Apr 1997, Tiernan wrote:
\*ka-CHING* Wheezer Wilco Killfiled!
  ^^^^^^^^
YM "*plonk*".  HTH.

// Jack Nutting
// mailto:[email protected]
// http://www.baviera.com/~jnutting

> Well, if you're going to quote articles of mine which have been
> setectively altered into something quite different, it would be nice if
> you didn't x-post them to other groups where people won't actually see
> the continuity. And if I decide that I want to molest children and
> sodomize innocent household pets that's MY business. You retards may get
> a kick out of my twisted sexual fantasies, but I just love blood. I love
> blood and sex with little things. Kids, animals, as long as it's small.
> If you think that's funny then you're the ones in the dark. This is the
> nineties and I'm free to do what I please.

speedo wrote:

> > Well, if you're going to quote articles of mine which have been
> > setectively altered into something quite different, it would be nice if
> > you didn't x-post them to other groups where people won't actually see
> > the continuity. And if I decide that I want to molest children and
> > sodomize innocent household pets that's MY business. You retards may get
> > a kick out of my twisted sexual fantasies, but I just love blood. I love
> > blood and sex with little things. Kids, animals, as long as it's small.
> > If you think that's funny then you're the ones in the dark. This is the
> > nineties and I'm free to do what I please.

A copy of this has been forwarded to your provider with a complaint.

-- 

On Sat, 26 Apr 1997 13:13:35 +0000, White Spirit <[email protected]>
wrote:

|>speedo wrote:
|>
|>> > Well, if you're going to quote articles of mine which have been
|>> > setectively altered into something quite different, it would be nice if
|>> > you didn't x-post them to other groups where people won't actually see
|>> > the continuity. And if I decide that I want to molest children and
|>> > sodomize innocent household pets that's MY business. You retards may get
|>> > a kick out of my twisted sexual fantasies, but I just love blood. I love
|>> > blood and sex with little things. Kids, animals, as long as it's small.
|>> > If you think that's funny then you're the ones in the dark. This is the
|>> > nineties and I'm free to do what I please.
|>
|>A copy of this has been forwarded to your provider with a complaint.
|>

and your complaint was what?
You are in such an idignant tizzy that your bowels have locked shut
tight and you are lashing out at your other prancy vampire pals
hatefully and want it all to just stop?  STOP NOW??????

I want you to complain to my provider too.  Why should speedo's
internet crew get all the laughs?
Anyone else want to be complained about by White Spritz?

I bet it just burns you  up hotter than a sunrise that you  can't type
a circle over all your  "i"s.

go fuck yourself Nosferatu

speedo <[email protected]> sez:

>The implications are endless. And for our efforts we get half-cocked
>follow ups from a low brow who flames what she doesn't understand. We
>want to make friends, and we won't take no for an answer.
>  Get on the short bus or stay off the sidewalk.
>image is everything,
>Speedo

Half cocked? Low brow?

Speaking as someone whose only ability to mimic humor is to either add
to someone's post or change around someone's sig?

How insulted am I supposed to feel from someone who doesn't have
original thoughts?

*kissies* and *killfiles*
Tiernan, who by the way isn't a vampyre and never claimed to be one.

W'h'eezer Wilco wheezed:

> Actually, I thought the first one was so funny that I x-posted it
> *first*.  Give yourself some credit.  I mean, there's so much just RAW
> comedy in what you posted *without* embellishment.  I only did the
> x-post from hellhammer because, quite frankly, I just wanted people to
> know that they weren't the only ones thinking those things when they
> read the original.  Or was it just me, Hellhammer, and an amazing
> coincidence?

You x-posted it first?  Where to?  If my posts get picked apart, I just
prefer it if it occurs on the newsgroup(s) I sent the thing to.  I can't
believe people took that post so seriously, though.  Yeah, the last paragraph
about slitting my wrist in city hall was more serious, but the rest was
intended to let off steam.  It was intended to be a laugh.  I certainly found
it funny.

> Oh, come on though, White Spirit.  We'ze all just funnin' around.  I
> don't think anyone really thinks you touch kids.

I think it can count as slander in this case, when it gets sent to groups
where the original was not posted.  Go over to alt.flame, and you'll see
plenty of selective embellishments which then get x-posted to various
newsgroups where people will take offence.  If it's going to get sent to
other ngs, shouldn't it at least have some kind of explanation, or am I just
whinging?  Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but I'm just being paranoid
because the aliens have been visiting me at night again, and they have stolen
all my beer and cough medicine, and it's starting to piss me off.  I need it
more than they do!  And they're speaking through the television again.  Did
you know they have an electro-magnetic micro-wave laser heat ray?   You can't
hear it, but you can feel it as it burns you inside out.  Quite painful.  But
I'm wearing tin-foil today.  They won't get me, I'm too clever for them.

> Come on inside
> Where the retards abide.         alt.conspiracy.retards

I'm really going to have to check this out at some point.

D.
-- 

>We try.  Sometimes it just happens at other's expense, and well, this
>time it was White Spirit.  It was a joke.  We was funnin'.  But you guys
>are taking this *way* better than the MASONS did.

Well, we tend to have a sense of humor about ourselves, occasional
hisses and spits notwithstanding.  Except Horvath.  He takes himself
*very* seriously.. but then again, we all have enough of a sense of
humor about Horvath to make up for it.

>Ever pissed off a
>mason?  Ever just sat back and tried to imagine a middle-aged guy in a
>white cotton undershirt with huge belly hanging over the elastic in his
>boxers in his cerimonial fez just reading usenet and getting mad, I mean
>*shaking* mad over something that really was just a joke to start with?
>Just sit back for a second and do that.  Isn't that just hillarious?

*laughing*helplessly*  You know what else is hysterically funny?  Go
to alt.magick and post that you're an elf and you want to find other
elves.  Or better yet, ask for a love spell.  Now there is a group
with *no* sense of humor whatsoever.

>We just don't take a whole lot very seriously, and this *particular*
>post is about as serious as I ever get in full view of the world.

Uh oh! *Peeking from behind fingers*... you decent yet? *evil*grin*

>F.A.E.R.I.E:  Fraternal Association of Elves, Retards, Inflamers, and
>(The Mystical Letter) "E".(?)

Yes!  And when you become initiated, you find out what the E means.
Hint: It's pronounced like "fnord" only it's spelled a little
different.

>'Tards usually spit or pee when they're ignored.  Our flag is made out
>of a rubber sheet.

UHoh... *looksaround*  Gotta be careful about mentioning rubber in
alt.vampyres... *whispering*.. there are pervs in here.. shhhhhhhh...

>Latin!  A peace offering for you, then!
>ftp://ftp.netcom.com/pub/ea/earl/Ible-bay/Ible-bay.html

Now *that* was amusing, hehe.  Horvath:  I challenge you to go to that
URL and *TRY* to figure out where Lilith is mentioned in THAT
translation!

Tiernan, Chortling

Tiernan wrote:
>
> W'h'eezer Wilco <[email protected]> verily did say unto Us:
>
> Well, we tend to have a sense of humor about ourselves, occasional
> hisses and spits notwithstanding.  Except Horvath.  He takes himself
> *very* seriously.. but then again, we all have enough of a sense of
> humor about Horvath to make up for it.

Horvath, huh?  I was going to try and make up an acronym.  Ever have
days where you know you have an idea *somewhere*, but you just can't
shake it out?  If you answer yes, then you're a 'tard, too!

> *laughing*helplessly*  You know what else is hysterically funny?  Go
> to alt.magick and post that you're an elf and you want to find other
> elves.  Or better yet, ask for a love spell.  Now there is a group
> with *no* sense of humor whatsoever.

Oh!  Or go in there and say you found Alistair Crowley's mummified
finger which was rumored to have majick powers.  Tell 'em all you've
found that it could do was act as a universal remote control and it runs
on AAA batteries, but you can't keep them in because someone lost the
back panel and so you had to wrap it with duct tape.  And tell 'em now
your TV picks up you great grandmother.

> >F.A.E.R.I.E:  Fraternal Association of Elves, Retards, Inflamers, and
> >(The Mystical Letter) "E".(?)
>
> Yes!  And when you become initiated, you find out what the E means.
> Hint: It's pronounced like "fnord" only it's spelled a little
> different.

Ef-word?  We don't use that kind of language around here.  Not while
Dennis is looking, anyway.

> UHoh... *looksaround*  Gotta be careful about mentioning rubber in
> alt.vampyres... *whispering*.. there are pervs in here.. shhhhhhhh...
>

That's gonna send me runnin' straight for
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.latex.midgets.  It's mostly spam for other
groups, but when you find that *one* shot of the dwarf in a gas-mask
being tossed like a beach ball...ah, it's golden.

> Tiernan, Chortling

Come on down and chortle with the rest of us, Tiernan!
http://gateway.ecn.com/~mind-x-3/ !
-W'h'eezer (Ronald Deer, Smogname)

On Tue, 06 May 1997 12:57:35 -0400, W'h'eezer Wilco
<[email protected]> and  Tiernan wrote:
 

|>
|>Horvath, huh?  I was going to try and make up an acronym.  Ever have
|>days where you know you have an idea *somewhere*, but you just can't
|>shake it out?  If you answer yes, then you're a 'tard, too!

Or if your eyes glaze over and you *do* say "no" then immediatly wet
yourself afterwards.
We need to have us one of them funny videos out like Ray Stevens or
Jeff Foxworthy about being a 'tard.
It 's one of those things that if everyone then wanted to *be* a tard,
like everyone wanted to be an Urban Cowbow or do the Macarena, it
would be *good*.  All you vampyres and metal kids might finally be
taken seriously if folks thought you were retarded!

"Tiernan then says in a show of welcomed humor and open-mindedness:

|>> *laughing*helplessly*  You know what else is hysterically funny?  Go
|>> to alt.magick and post that you're an elf and you want to find other
|>> elves.  Or better yet, ask for a love spell.  Now there is a group
|>> with *no* sense of humor whatsoever.

Tiernan, my god, or goddess, or elf...whatever, you have these folks
pegged to a T.  And also alt.astrology where someone will post "I'm a
gemini and she's a sag...are we compatible?" and the hardcores will
come back with "whole chart" explanations and how "well, you are just
naive in thinking it's only in the sun signs" (which *is* true)  and
then they add "I can do your chart.  For fifty bucks, cheap
cheap....astro you long time".  And alt.meditation?  meanest fucking
group I have ever seen in my life.  No instant karma and they haven't
been to the bathroom in days and their lower backs HURT and goddamn it
they *are* enlightened and  They've seen their astral cord and
everyone is having a kundalini experience like it was a lua and they
were allowed to eat pork again.

Wheezer:
|>Oh!  Or go in there and say you found Alistair Crowley's mummified
|>finger which was rumored to have majick powers.  Tell 'em all you've
|>found that it could do was act as a universal remote control and it runs
|>on AAA batteries, but you can't keep them in because someone lost the
|>back panel and so you had to wrap it with duct tape.  And tell 'em now
|>your TV picks up you great grandmother.

Or if they come in wearing their Wizard-Wear for The Modern Warlock,
just say "Crowley Sucks" and that Ray Walston was more of a martian
than that asshole Crowley was a magician.  When they get petulant and
fussy, and they will, ask him if Crowley could saw a lady in half?
Pull a rabbit out of a hat?  That milk thing were you pour it into
something and it doesn't come out.  And then it does.
And when they get smug and tell you he wasn't that kind of magician,
tell 'em to bite your ass, there's a guy down ta the fair that can get
swords put through him while he was chained to a Kimodo Dragon and
what could be better than that?

wheezer
|>Ef-word?  We don't use that kind of language around here.  Not while
|>Dennis is looking, anyway.

Ef Dennis Bosch.
 

|>Come on down and chortle with the rest of us, Tiernan!

Yep, Tiernan.....come play.  We could rub fake tattoes on each other
on the bus ride out to pick up trash on the beach.

Seester Rosa

[email protected] (Palace of Jackals) sez:

>It 's one of those things that if everyone then wanted to *be* a tard,
>like everyone wanted to be an Urban Cowbow or do the Macarena, it
>would be *good*.  All you vampyres and metal kids might finally be
>taken seriously if folks thought you were retarded!

Seriously?  Oh no! ;)

>"Tiernan then says in a show of welcomed humor and open-mindedness:
>
>|>> *laughing*helplessly*  You know what else is hysterically funny?  Go
>|>> to alt.magick and post that you're an elf and you want to find other
>|>> elves.  Or better yet, ask for a love spell.  Now there is a group
>|>> with *no* sense of humor whatsoever.
>
>Tiernan, my god, or goddess, or elf...whatever, you have these folks
>pegged to a T.

heh.  Personal experience, the hard way.  I did learn how to perform
the "alt.magick banishment spell"(tm) copyright josh.  To wit:

"go away"

It hardly ever works.

>And alt.meditation?  meanest fucking
>group I have ever seen in my life.  No instant karma and they haven't
>been to the bathroom in days and their lower backs HURT and goddamn it
>they *are* enlightened and  They've seen their astral cord and
>everyone is having a kundalini experience like it was a lua and they
>were allowed to eat pork again.

Hooo!  That's like the IRC channel #ascension.  My god, those people
are hostile.  I went on there, got questioned ruthlessly about who I
was and what brought me to the channel and when I mentioned that I was
an elf I got called a loony and kickbanned.  By people who channel
space aliens.

>Or if they come in wearing their Wizard-Wear for The Modern Warlock,
>just say "Crowley Sucks" and that Ray Walston was more of a martian
>than that asshole Crowley was a magician.

What cracks me up about them the most is that they all talk about
ceremonial magick and calling elementals and banishments and the Great
Rite... and if someone comes on and asks about the Necronomicon they
all say "Oh Lovecraft just MADE THAT UP."

hehehehhehe.  And they don't see the humor in that at all.

>Ef Dennis Bosch.

He ain't my type.  You 'tards are kinda cute though
*batting*eyelashes*
>
>|>Come on down and chortle with the rest of us, Tiernan!
>
>Yep, Tiernan.....come play.  We could rub fake tattoes on each other
>on the bus ride out to pick up trash on the beach.

Better yet, I'll rub on a whole bunch of fake ones and you can see if
you can figure out which one is my REAL one *evil*grin*

Tiernan, EEEvil flirt

Palace of Jackals wrote:
>
> Ef Dennis Bosch.
>

"Ef" you as well, Sister Rosa.
-Dennis Bosch
Artist and Conceptual Genius (Formerly) at Large

On Thu, 08 May 1997 08:25:52 -0400, Dennis Bosch
<[email protected]> wrote:

|>Palace of Jackals wrote:
|>>
|>> Ef Dennis Bosch.
|>>
|>
|>"Ef" you as well, Sister Rosa.
|>-Dennis Bosch
|>Artist and Conceptual Genius (Formerly) at Large

That's "seester" you putz.   And no it is not a misspelling...it's my
year to celebrate my latina and aztec roots and I am doing this by
going to a more phonetic title...or "labelling" (I'm still a proud
TARD as well) as the internet doesn't provide for my theeck accent.

And you can "ef" me the day Quatzecotl returns riding on the back of
Jesus' donkey.

Scroll Dennis, effing Scroll!
SEESTER Leetle Red Rosa
oh muy caliente!
*
http://gateway.ecn.com/~mind-x-3

Dennis Bosch <[email protected]> sez:

>Palace of Jackals wrote:
>>
>> Ef Dennis Bosch.
>>
>
>"Ef" you as well, Sister Rosa.
>-Dennis Bosch
>Artist and Conceptual Genius (Formerly) at Large

Cor!  Who pissed in YOUR enchilada?  And FWIW I cozzened up to Seester
Rosa before YOU did :P

Tiernan, Gender Ambigious But Friendly As Hell

Whitethn wrote:
> Re: Demodemizing trolls.....
> It looks like we indeed do have another troll, BJ....
> Are they being fruitful and multiplying????
> sigh....

I don't mean to be stereotyping a whole NG (goddess knows we've been the
receiving end of such posts) but what else did you expect from a NG
which is so thusly named, "alt.conspiracy.retards"?

-Eliza,
 who knew all along that 'THEY' were out to get 'US'

Eliza Bathory <[email protected]> sez:

>I don't mean to be stereotyping a whole NG (goddess knows we've been the
>receiving end of such posts) but what else did you expect from a NG
>which is so thusly named, "alt.conspiracy.retards"?

You know what though, after trading snipes with a few of them I
relented and visited thier newsgroup and found that these guys are
hilariously funny and thier humor is wonderfully subtle and rather
twisted.  So I posted a nice post, and they've all been quite friendly
and welcoming.  Invited me to become a 'tard, which is a Good Thing
the way they describe it (I'd suggest moseying on over there and
reading "Palace of Jackals" Cinco de Mayo thread, it's GREAT.  Turns
out they're a nice bunch with a penchant for.. dare I say it...
parody!  They really did mean it when they said they were just wanting
to play and be friendly.

Tiernan

Palace of Jackals <[email protected]> wrote in article
<[email protected]>...
> On Tue, 06 May 1997 20:16:23 GMT, [email protected] (Tiernan)
> wrote:
>
> |>[email protected] (Palace of Jackals) sez:

> Oh Tards....I think we need to set up a night out for all of us on an
> IRC cavort of slippery keyboards and slack-jawed tee-hee-ing.   Anyone
> interested?

I'm practically hopping up and down.  No, not practically, I *AM*.  What's
the alt.majik equivalent of a chat room?  and more about the alien
chanellers!  I can come up with a mighty fine alien tale by this
evening...hey wait...Rosa, honey, we already *have* one.

> Could we have channel #retard-a-go-go and pull 'em in or hunt 'em
> down?    Come on you idiots, let's put our annoying personal habits
> and lack of anything better to do to good use!

Yeah!  I slept yesterday!
>
> is it hot in here or is my hair on fire again?
>
> Seester

It's BOTH!  Woohoo! (Slobber)
-W'h'eezer

"W'h'eezer Wilco" <[email protected]> sez:

>I'm practically hopping up and down.  No, not practically, I *AM*.  What's
>the alt.majik equivalent of a chat room?  and more about the alien
>chanellers!  I can come up with a mighty fine alien tale by this
>evening...hey wait...Rosa, honey, we already *have* one.

Well... the IN alt.magick Cabal used to hang out on #Thelema on Efnet,
but I hear from a friend who still goes there that josh goes to
#Thelema on Undernet now.  #ascension is on Efnet, though.. which is
where #TirNanOc is.  If you go there just announce that you're a
friend of Tiernan's and that you're naked.  You will immediately get
pounced on and hugged, kissed, groped and fondled irrespective of
gender (of either you or anyone on the channel.. we're not all that
picky and most of us go about four ways)

>> Could we have channel #retard-a-go-go and pull 'em in or hunt 'em
>> down?    Come on you idiots, let's put our annoying personal habits
>> and lack of anything better to do to good use!
>
>Yeah!  I slept yesterday!

KEWL! heh.  Last time the Elves got sleep, a bunch of us nick changed
to characters from Gilligan's Island and raided #gothic.  Sound like
fun to you?
 
>> is it hot in here or is my hair on fire again?
>>
>> Seester
>
>It's BOTH!  Woohoo! (Slobber)
>-W'h'eezer

Oooh! An Elf Sammich! *giggle*

Tiernan

Oh yea. I can be the big breasted blonde I was born to be. I'll need
someone to tell me what to do, because I'll be lost and dumb. Tndrloins
lives again. When we gonna do it sis? I wanna. I wanna. I shaved my ass
and washed my hands just like I was supposed to. Or was it wash my ass
and shave my hands? I guess I'll just have to wash and shave everything
to make sure.

another hairless yeti,

Speedo
 
Or was that shave and *then* wash?

On Fri, 09 May 1997 16:51:50 GMT, [email protected] (Tiernan)
wrote:

|>(cc'd to email)
|>[email protected] (Palace of Jackals) sez:
|>>Tiernan in a previous post gave some damn great places to be, and the
|>>use of her name to drop is greatly appreciated and most likely soon
|>>regretted  by her.
|>
|>Everyone told me you guys get brownie points for showing up nekkid :)
|>We had fun last night, changed our nicks to pixie nicks and raided
|>#alt.vampyres.  Want me to email you the log? (13k)

no wonder I couldn't find you!  I looked too!  Why don't you POST the
log?  SHARE.

|>Right now I am completely flexible time wise because I'm off work
|>until May 19th.  Um.. is this a good newsgroup to describe my surgery?

YES!!!!!  In vivid glorious detail!  and if it gets sad just tell us
when not to laugh.  You might not know it, but tards is actually
sensitive and will to lend a shoulder to cry on.
 

|>I'll be there :)  My server seems to get posts about a day late
|>though, maybe you could cc me or email to me?
|>[email protected]

got it.  getting to it.

Seester
*

Someone (maybe Tiernan?) wrote:

> |>
> |>Everyone told me you guys get brownie points for showing up nekkid :)
> |>We had fun last night, changed our nicks to pixie nicks and raided
> |>#alt.vampyres.  Want me to email you the log? (13k)
>
oh, do share the log with the rest of the class.. at least in email..

take care,
artemis
(who has too many odd logs collected, including Priest's rootbeer enema,
and the fucked up fairy tale by betsie and Marius..)

artemis wrote:
>

You know, this has been an odd thread.  It's not very often that it
starts out with two newsgroups slinging *bad* stuff back and forth and
then seeing mutual senses of humor, and then by the end of the thread,
everyone's planning to meet on IRC.  Strange, indeed.  But a good
strange!  And then...I didn't make it to IRC but for a few seconds.
We'll get that going again sometime.

Shouldn't everybody play this nicely?