Another Official FAQ of alt.conspiracy.retards

Where did alt.conspiracy.retards come from?

Seester said to Wheezer "We need newsgroup"
Wheezer nodded and cocked his head like he was saying "how?"
Seester said "dunno. let's just take"
Wheezer bounced up and down and said "take take take take take......"
until his nose bled and he went to sleep all of a sudden.
So Seester took her lucky box of foil and stuffed Mexican Iguana into the desert of abandoned news groups and immediately upon seeing the shiny, shiny "alt.conspiracy.retards" took a bus back to Wheezer and told him of God's Favor just laying there with their names (many many many names) on it.
Wheezer keesed Seester. Seester Keesed Wheezer. They toweled off their faces and started posting.

uh, OK, but Where did it come from?
For real? Like the actual "technical Kahuna" that went to the trouble of creating this group? We have no idea and are truly baffled by the mystery of such a wonderful group left unattended and unclaimed.
We have hoisted our own flag and yelled out "OURS". And although we will not claim to hold ownership, we DO hold SWAY.

Is it a conspiracy of retards or a conspiracy against retards?
Yes

Who are you people?
Retards! But most importantly, we are a *Fambly* of Retards. You go after one you go after all. We got this Druid Clan Berserker mentality that has us itchin' for a fight with anyone that denies us our right to crosspost, express creatively, do "me too's" at the end of a two page Shriner spew on why they should be allowed to kill black babies for Satan, anything that made someone mad, we wanna make 'em madder.
We welcome everyone to become friend, ally, patron, complete bastards with no senses of humor. OH LORD *ESPECIALLY* complete bastards with no senses of humor!

What is considered "Off-topic, asshole, get out of my group!"
Not a blessed thing. You want to write about it, we'll read it. Or we wont.
And if we don't like it, we don't feel so insecure and threatened and just plain peevish and petty that we'll tell you that your interests are wrong and unappreciated. We even answer the ads from gorgeous 16 year old Swedish suck-queens who KNOW what we'll like. Hey! Maybe they do! And maybe your recipe for baked goods, happiness, gold, enlightenment, shrinking heads, stupidity, pain, thunderstorms...is just the thing someone's been looking for! Unleash your leetle feengers! Fly, digits, Fly across the keyboard!
And then post it.
And crosspost it. Someone doesn't like it? Don't Worry.
We got your back at alt.conspiracy.retards

Do I have to wear pants?
Of course not! May we suggest A backpack, walkman, and baseball cap? A good sporty look on the short bus!

Can anyone write a FAQ?
Ab-so-fucking-lutely! Let your tail out and tell *us* a thing or two.
SEND!
[email protected]

Thankee for your interest!
Seester Rosa Gabriel