Recovery's Grace By Mulderslady DISCLAIMER: They don't belong to me, wish they did. Only Nickole Buchanan and Carol belong to me RATING: P.G.-13, mild R CLASSIFICATION: S, A, MT, MSR KEYWORDS: MSR, MT, Scully and Mulder angst SPOILERS: Slight reference to Pusher, and The Unnatural URL: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/5160/recoverysgrace.html FEEDBACK: Please!!! at damacia@home.com ARCHIVE: Oh yeah, anywhere!! SUMMARY: Mulder is hit by a truck and has to start over again, literally. This is the first part of the Recovery's Grace Universe, a series of stories dealing with Mulder's recovery. ******************************************************* *********************** And Maybe I'm to blame But I put my heart above my head We've been through it all And you loved me just the same Hello Again By Neil Diamond ******************************************************* *********************** "Come on admit it Scully. It was a funny movie" "It was gross, it was . . ." " Funny, admit it." " Ok, Ok. I thought Orgazmo was funny, but geez Mulder, you could have warned me." Mulder laughed and stopped at the curb. The walk sign flashed and they stepped out into the street. " Scully what was your favorite part." " I think it was the part where . . ." They heard the rumble of the jack-knifing truck before they saw it. It flipped end over end towards them at a terrifying speed. Mulder pushed Scully out of the way just as the truck barreled over him. " Mulder!!! NO!!!" then Scully blacked out. Loving eyes filled with fear, the feel of his hands as she tried to pull him with her. The sound of bone crushing, Mulder's screams and sirens for afar filled her ears. The constant pressure of something on her chest as she struggled to free herself. I have to help Mulder, she kept thinking, then she fell unconscious. She woke up in a hospital room. The sound of heart monitors and some other machines far off. An IV in her own arm, her mother smiled at her. "Hey honey, welcome back." Scully smiled and shifted a little, instantly regretting the move. " Don't try to get up sweetie. You have two broken ribs and your chest is one big hematoma, but luckily that's it." " Mulder!! Where is Mulder?" Her mother looked at the curtain separating the room. " On the other side. Honey, it doesn't look good. He was crushed and mangled by the truck. He had severe head trauma, they don't know if he'll walk again or even live through the night. If he does, he's sure to be brain damaged. They basically put him back together. He's in complete traction from head to toe. Tubes, shunts and machines are running every where." " They don't have him on a respirator do they?" " No he seemed to fight it, so they have him heavily sedated so the pain of breathing isn't too bad." Tears came to her eyes as she reached for the curtain, her mother pulled it back. Scully looked at Mulder, his legs and arms held up by lambswool traction stands, tubes running from his head, arms, and chest, removing the blood and fluid that was building up. Scully closed her eyes and looked away, tears rolled down her cheeks as she cried silently. ************************************************************ ************************************************************ 5 days later The doctors removed the shunt from Mulder's head and some of the tubing from his upper body. The pressure in his head had dropped amazingly fast and they were waiting for him to come out of his coma. Scully braved the pain and got up to sit next to him. She touched his fingers which were hanging limply over the traction board, they caressed her fingers in response and Scully smiled. "Hey Mulder, it's me. I never got to tell you my favorite part of Orgazmo." Her mother's eyes widened at the name of the movie and got even wider as her daughter related her favorite scene. " I know you'd be proud that you corrupted me. I wish you could tell me yours." As if in response, he grunted then his eyes popped open, rolling around in his head till they focused, then he looked at Scully. Scully's smile grew, " Hey there, enjoy your nap? Glad your finally joining us." Mulder smiled in response to the kind voice and some drool seeped out. Scully quickly dabbed it away before it met his pillow. She ran her fingers through his wayward locks, sighed and flashed a sad smile at him. This is going to be hard, but I will not give up till your 100% Mulder. As if he read her thoughts, he smiled again and Scully quickly blotted away the drool. His nurse came in and lit up when she saw he was out of the coma. " Hey! My handsome man is awake at last. How are you today? Ready for some real food now?" Mulder smiled at her, lots of friendly people he thought, especially the red haired one. She's real pretty. He turned his attention back to Scully while the nurse checked his vitals and bandages. " Oh he likes you, he hasn't kept his eyes off you since I got here. If you don't mind, could you feed him for me? I can understand if you don't want . . ." " Sure that's no problem at all. Could I also see his chart? I just want to know the extent of his injuries and his medications please." " Sure I'll bring them with his food tray." Mulder's eyes gleamed when they brought his food in. He hated that tube that went up his nose, it itched plus the red haired lady was going to feed him. Mrs. Scully got up and touched Scully's shoulder " What do you want me to get you to eat?" "A sandwich, club, tuna, chicken salad and a soda. Here put this on my bed mom." She handed her mother Mulder's chart and turned back to him just in time to catch another drool filled smile " Ready? Open wide here comes some applesauce." She scooped up the applesauce and placed it in his mouth. He tasted it and smiled as he eased it down his throat " That good? Want some more?" Mulder smiled again and she scooped some more into his mouth. She always wanted him to smile more she thought. Now that's all he can do. It's cruel to actually like this, but he seems so happy and unaware. I got to find out what drugs they have him on, and get me some. After lunch he fell promptly to sleep, and Scully went to her bed to read his chart and eat her lunch. " Severe crush injures, bruised lungs, internal bleeding, head trauma, sub arachnoid bleed, possible nerve damage, no spinal cord injuries. Mom would I be too ambitious if I said I'm going to get him back to 100% in 2 years?" " Well most people I'd say yes, but with your determination you'll probably do it." " Nah! AHNAHHWAHH!!" Mulder screamed frantically. His nurse came in quickly " What's wrong honey? You in pain?" She checked his IV and saw he was out of pain medication. " Here let me change it for you." " NAH! WAHNAHAH!" " How's that hon? What do you want? Can you tell me?" Mulder stopped and his eyes rolled around in his head for a second. He concentrated every brain cell on what he wanted to say, Red. " Wed" he said softly "Hmm, What?" " Wed, Wed" " Oh Red, Red?" Mulder smiled and the nurse went over to Scully " I think he's calling you. He keeps saying Red." Scully nodded, at least he is vocalizing and knows his colors. She went to him and touched his fingers slightly. " Hey I'm here. My name is Dana Scully, Ok? Can you say Dana?" Mulder looked at her and slightly cocked his head. He didn't understand what she wanted him to do. Scully smiled " Ok let's see. Something easy. Do you know your name?" Mulder blinked a few times. He liked her voice but why did she stop talking? Scully nodded and wiped some drool from his ever present smile and sat next to him playing gently with his hair. " Your going to get better Mulder. I'm going to take good care of you. We're going to get thru this together ok?" Mulder didn't understand what she was talking about, but he liked her voice. So soft and low, it was like a gentle hum, it calmed him. He closed his eyes and almost fell back to sleep when his doctor burst in. " So your finally awake Mr. Mulder!" Mulder awoke with a start, eyeing his doctor suspiciously. " Whoa! He doesn't like me. If looks could kill . . . Hi I'm Dr. Lewis, you must be his roommate Dr. Scully." " Yes, nice to meet you. Were you his primary doctor?" " Yes, I put him back together all by myself. Did I do a good job?" " Yes a superb one. He seems to be holding down food, he has no fever, he's in good spirits and vocalizing a little. You did an excellent job." Mulder seemed to smile in agreement and turned his attention back to Scully as the doctor examined him. " Everything looks good, did he live alone?" " Yes" " Who will he be staying with when we release him?" " He'll stay with me. I'm going to take some time off when he gets out so he can get settled, why?" "Cause if he didn't have a place to stay, I was going to recommend a rehabilitation house, but its probably better he stays with people he knows. Plus . . ." The doctor faded off at the end. " What Dr. Lewis?" "He's really taken to you or should I say taken by you. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he has a crush on you." Scully smiled and looked at Mulder who beamed back at her. Great, it takes a Mack truck for him to fall in love with me. " We're going to do some memory tests to see how much long term memory he's lost. When he's out of traction, I'll schedule his OT and PT sessions for you. I'll need to see him twice a week to check for inter-cranial bleeds, but it seems to be healing well up there. See you tomorrow, Mulder, Dr. Scully. "NO! Day Nah!" Mulder said angrily. The doctor turned around shocked " What?!" "Day Nah Scu Wee" Mulder nodded at his pronunciation. "Sorry, See you tomorrow Mulder and Dana Scully." Mulder smiled at Scully, then nodded to the doctor. Wow, the doctor mouthed as he walked out amazed. 2 months later "Ok Doctor Scully here you go. Are you sure your going to stay here?" The doctor said handing her a prescription for pain relievers. " Yes, but not in that bed. I'm no longer a patient. Mulder needs me here so if you'll prepare a cot on his side of the room, I'll be much obliged. I'll be back around 8 p.m. Do you mind if I bring him a few changes of clothes?" The doctor nodded. Scully went over to Mulder's bed and ruffled his hair. He opened his eyes and smiled at her. " Hey Mulder, I'm going home to pick up a few things, then I'll be back tonight, but you'll probably be asleep so be good and . . ." " No!" " Hey, I'll be back I got to get some clothes and stuff darling." " NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Mulder screamed and started thrashing his arms and legs about. " Ok, I'm not going anywhere till you calm down!!" Scully said with the sternest voice she could muster. He stopped his tirade and smiled at her, only to have Scully glare at him. Mulder bowed his head and softly said " Sor wee" "That's better now, I'll see you tonight. Be good." Mulder pouted and Scully kissed his forehead. Her lips were soft and warm against his forehead. He didn't understand why she was leaving, she said she'd be back, but I don't want her to leave at all. As Scully exited the room, Mulder grew frantic and screamed, "Scully!" Everyone in the hallway stopped. It was so clear, so well pronounced. Scully walked back in with his doctor, who was equally amazed. An excited Mulder smiled at Scully and said her name again softer " Scully" She petted his hair and said " Yes Mulder? I told you I need to go. The sooner I leave, the sooner I'll get back here with you ok?" Mulder nodded and flexed his captive fingers, brushing them against her arm softly " Wuv Scully" the doctor stifled a giggle and threw her an I told you so look. Scully rolled her eyes at the doctor and turned her attention back to Mulder " I love you too, Mulder. Now please, let me go." Mulder let his fingers fall from her arm and closed his eyes settling into his pillow, satisfied. 8 :30 p.m. Scully watched him sleep, her fingers rubbing gently in little circles along his arms. He would probably never be able to live by himself. God, I love you Mulder. I wish we had more time before this happened so I could have told you. We were so new, this thing between us, so fresh. I have always loved you, ever since I walked down into that office with the FBI's most unwanted. I loved you, but could never tell you. You'll probably never work with me again, at least that's what the doctors say. I don't know if I could continue the X-files without you. "Dr. Scully. I have the results of his latest round of tests." Scully sighed and followed his doctor into his office. 4 weeks later Mulder was finally taken out of traction and final tests were run. He was checked for paralysis, which was negative much to Scully's relief. His inter-cranial pressure was checked again, no increase, no infection. His doctor looked at Mulder and smiled. "Well if you want, he can be released. I'll set up his PT, OT and doctor visits, and you two can be on your way." Mulder was confused, released? On my way where? Scully seeing his confusion explained "You can leave the hospital and come stay at my house with me." Mulder's eyes lit up, I get to live with Scully? "Scully, Me hungwee." "Your hungry Mulder? Well lets get your stuff packed and get all your meds and we'll get something on the way home, OK?" Scully said enunciating clearly for him. His speech therapist said it would help. Mulder nodded and moved to sit up, his arms shook from the unaccustomed weight on them. Scully placed her hand on his back and helped him up the rest of the way. Good thing I live on the first floor, he'll be wheelchair bound for a while. Mulder watched Scully as she pulled out some clothes for him to wear. She always played the color game when she dressed him, he liked that. " Okay here's your shirt, what color is it Mulder?" " Bwue." Mulder smiled when she nodded. She pulled it over his head, he kept smiling at her " A little help" Mulder lifted his arms, putting them through the sleeves. " Thank you Mulder now what color are your pants?" Oh this is a tough one it's that color that wasn't really a color. He lightly chewed his bottom lip, then looked at her with lost eyes. " That's okay. It's a tough one. It's called khaki, but it's really beige or stone." Mulder repeated khaki in his mind, while she slipped them on. She zipped and buttoned them up, sighing when she saw how big the waist was on them. He had lost a lot of weight during his hospital stay even though he ate everything he was given. She pulled out his leather belt and he looked at it with apprehension, what was that? " It's a belt. It's made of leather, it helps keep your pants on like a zipper, only it fits in these hoops around your pants." She looped it through and Mulder watched her truly amazed. He smiled when she was done. " There now for your socks and shoes." She sat his shoes on his lap and put his socks on. Mulder picked the shoes up and looked at them closely. Neat, they match my shirt, he thought " Match shirt." he said proudly. Scully smiled at him "They're your sneakers. Sneakers is another word for shoes." " Nekers" " No, Sneakers. Let me tie them up and we can get going." Mulder turned them around and fingered the name label. "What's that?" Mulder said pointing to the label. " That's the name of the sneaker. It says Vans." Mulder nodded. A nurse came in and helped him into his wheelchair, while Scully grabbed her backpack with Mulder's things in it. As they emerged from the hospital, Mulder cringed and shut his eyes quickly. " Oops, forgot to warn you it was bright out today. If you open your eyes slowly it will be better." Mulder did and looked around. Scully opened her back car door and helped him in the car. "Watch you head sweetie. Now this is a seatbelt, you need to wear this or the car won't start up, okay?" Mulder nodded and watched her latch it across him and shut the door. " I'll never make fun of my government car again." Scully murmured to herself as she placed her wheelchair in the cavernous trunk. She got in and started the car, looking back at Mulder before she drove off. 3 p.m. Mulder was watching cartoons contently on the couch, while Scully squared away stuff. Her mother who came over to help, was in Mulder's bedroom, formerly the guest room, hanging up his clothes. They were discussing educational TV shows. "Sesame street, Wishbone, Arthur they come on PBS, so does that old show you used to watch when you were little. You know the one where the guy drew the pictures with the story." Mrs. Scully rattled off "That's called Bookworm." Scully said" David the gnome, Busy town?" " Too childish, but Blues Clues may help with his memory." " Mister Rogers!" " What?" " Mister Rogers is perfect for his speech. He talks so slow and deliberate, it would help his enunciation immensely." " There all his clothes are hung up and put away. Now what?" " Nothing, I think everything is ready for him whenever he gets tired." Scully said sitting down on his bed for a few seconds. " Things will get easier when he starts with his walker. At least he's eating and sleeping." "Why don't you lay down for an hour or so? You could get up about 4:30 and cook. I'll keep him entertained till then." Scully nodded and went to her room and collapsed on the bed. 9:30 p.m. " Mulder aren't you tried?" Scully was hoping the warm bath would make him sleepy. It hadn't however and he was up watching Dexter's Laboratory. Scully climbed into the couch next to him " No" he said softly answering her question. Scully laid her head in his lap and felt his hand start to play in her hair. It felt like old times. She felt herself relax and her hand moved to stroke his leg lightly. The sensations were amazing, Mulder felt weird, like he had to pee, only not. The only thing he could think was he really wanted to kiss Scully. He gently gripped her head in his hands and brought it up to his face. He claimed her mouth with his, gently at first, then increasing with something Mulder couldn't explain. Scully didn't resist till she felt his growing arousal under her. She pulled away and Mulder looked confused and upset. " Me hurt you?" " No, you didn't hurt me. I think it's time I go to bed I'm tired. Come on let me help you to bed and you can stay up and watch TV in there ok?" " Scully can I sweep wif you tonight?" Mulder said softly, his eyes pleading. For a brief second Scully questioned his motives, then she smiled to herself. Your screwing his truly innocent intentions around in your head. " Ok Mulder. But your going to have to get used to sleeping in your own room ok?" Mulder nodded and grabbed her hand as she helped him into his wheelchair. 2 am Mulder laid on his side and watched Scully sleep. He wished he could sleep, his legs hurt and he couldn't sleep. He touched her red hair lightly, she's so pretty, and nice. Her lips are so soft and her voice like magic. I love her. She knows it, she loves me too. She kissed me, she seemed to like it, then she pulled away. Maybe I didn't do it right. I need to practice I guess. Scully nuzzled into his hand. His hands are so warm and soft, he smells so good. I could take advantage of him so easily. He loves me, he tells me that constantly. I can wait. He's so childlike so different from the Mulder I fell in love with, but not any less appealing. She opened her eyes to find him watching her and she smiled. He flashed her a grin and kissed her lightly on the lips. " Hey what are you doing awake?" Mulder scooted closer and placed his head, on her chest and sighed contentedly. It was warm right here, he could stay here forever, it even came with pillows. " Still scared?" He lifted his head up slightly to look at her and nodded no, wrapping his long arms around her " I not scared wif you here." Scully smiled, kissed him on top of his head and snuggled in for the night. 6 weeks later Mulder inched towards Scully's door with his walker. Scully held the door patiently. It was good to see him on his feet again, standing tall, if it wasn't for the walker and hesitant steps she'd think it was the old Mulder, her Mulder coming towards her. He plopped on to the couch exhausted, time for Mr. Rogers, he thought as he reached for the remote. Scully snatched it a way quickly. " No Mr. Rogers today, we're going to play." Mulder looked at her intrigued. I like to play. " Come out on the patio, you need some fresh air." Scully held up a small box and said " It's a puzzle. A 3 D puzzle. When you put it together, it will look just like a little taxi cab okay?" Mulder nodded and opened the box quickly. " Then when we're finished, I'm going to teach you how to read." Mulder smiled and started to arrange the puzzle pieces on the patio. One month later " Ok Mulder, remember stay close to me and don't talk to anyone till we get to our office ok?" Mulder nodded and stepped out of the car. He liked his suit, it made him feel important. Scully held her hand out for him and he jogged to catch up. She clipped his badge on him " FBI Spe . .Spe, that word always gives me trouble. What's it say again?" " Special Agent Fox Mulder. We'll work on your reading more when we get home ok?" Mulder nodded and followed her in the building. " Making you go through the front door Agent Sc . . . well looky here, Agent Mulder long time no see how are ya man?" Mulder blinked Scully said not to talk with anyone but I can't be rude. " Fine, How are you?" The guard smiled " Great man your looking good, see you around." " Thank you." He reached for Scully's hand as he went through the metal detector. Scully hoped none of Mulder's enemies found out he was here. We are only here to pick up some files and that's it, 30 minutes tops, she reminded herself as she pulled Mulder onto the elevator. Everyone knew of his altered state, she just didn't want any one to prey on him when she wasn't around. The depression would take weeks to break and would set back his amazingly speedy recovery. She squeezed his hand gently and he wound his fingers around her's, smiling down at her. He wanted to kiss her but she said it was inappropriate to do at work. He couldn't wait till they got outside. His therapist just thinks it's an infatuation, but Mulder knew differently. It feels like he's loved her forever. The elevator stopped on their floor and they headed to their office. Mulder looked at the door, the same words that were on his badge were on his door. " It says Special Agent Fox Mulder too." He said proudly. " I know come on, the quicker I'm done, the quicker we can get some lunch and go to Toys'r us." Mulder's face lit up, oh boy maybe I can get another puzzle, he thought. Scully pulled his chair around and he sat down watching her. A large tall, balding man came in, he looked at Mulder and then at Scully. "Agent Scully, what did you drag in with you today?" His voice was deep and demanded authority. " I don't know, he just followed me here." Scully answered smiled at Mulder, then the man turned to him " How are you Mulder?" Mulder looked at the man's tag, AD. Skinner. " Fine Mr. Skinner." Mulder nodded at his correct pronunciation and Skinner smiled and turned back to Scully. His voice was low and he was standing too close to Scully, Mulder thought as he chewed his bottom lip in jealousy. "So how's he really doing?" " Better than expected. He walks great now. Balance is back, manual dexterity is getting better. He's still all thumbs sometimes, but not as much as before. His speech has dramatically improved, though his memory hasn't come back. We don't think it will, so were building from scratch, reading, writing, and stuff." " Will he be able to come back to work?" "He may or may not, depends, give it a year or two." Skinner nodded and looked back at Mulder. One of the brightest, cut down by a drunk driver with a Mack truck. Skinner sighed and dismissed himself. A few minutes later, Scully closed her briefcase and smiled at Mulder " Ready to go?" Mulder nodded and stood up reaching for her hand. As they walked down the hall, Scully saw simultaneously Diana Fowley, and that Mulder's shoe was untied. " Your shoes untied sweetie." Mulder stopped and looked down. " Oh it is. Can I try to tie it?" " Yeah but hurry up ok?" Mulder nodded and bent, starting to tie his shoe. Scully hoped Fowley would just pass by, but of course she didn't. Scully put on her game face and assumed her alpha woman stance. " Hello Dana," then feigning shock "Fox?!" Mulder looked up annoyed. Who was this? Why are they interrupting me? And why did she call me Fox? Mulder looked up at the woman, she looked about 50, with a twisted jaw and pretty long brown hair. " Hello." " How are you Fox?" " Fine and please stop calling me Fox. I prefer Mulder. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy right now." Mulder resumed concentrating on tying his shoe. Fowley blinked, a look of disbelief crossed her face. " Fox . ." " Mulder. Now please Ms. . ." Looking at her name tag, " Fowley, leave me alone." Fowley's mouth dropped open and Scully stifled a giggle and smirk. Fowley looked at Scully for answers. " I thought that . . " " He was hit by a Mack truck. He didn't even remember me when he came to. He's had to relearn everything like a child. I'm sorry he doesn't remember you. It must hurt you terribly." Scully said. She couldn't help smirking or the sarcastic tone that came through on her voice. Fowley rolled her eyes and was about to say something when Mulder exclaimed. " I did it! Look Scully." Fowley watched him touch Scully's leg lightly to get her attention and Scully smile and ruffle his hair lightly. Fowley chewed her lip tentatively then stormed off, realizing she'd never get him back now. " Who was that? She gave me the creeps." Mulder said looking slightly confused. " Old friend." Mulder nodded and they exited the building. As they walked outside, Mulder swooped in for a kiss. Scully pried his lips off hers reluctantly, looking to see if anybody saw and continued towards the car. " Are you ashamed of me?" Mulder asked dejected "No Mulder what makes you think that?" " You never want to kiss me. Alone or in public." " Oh Mulder I . ." " I love you Scully. I like kissing you." Scully blushed " I'll try, I'm sorry I love you too Mulder." " What's wrong then?" " Well um . . ." Your not ready for a relationship, you can hardly read above a 2nd grade level, your not the man I fell in love with and I want that Mulder. "I'm not ready for an intimate relationship with you yet. I'm still learning you." Mulder got in the car and buckled his seatbelt. " Learning me?" " Well you're a lot different than when we first met." Still confused Mulder shrugged it off. She still didn't answer my question though, and what's intimate mean? " What's intimate mean?" Scully blinked "It means really close, closer than friends." "Oh lovers right?" " Uh Yeah" Scully said, her turn to be confused, " How did you know that word Mulder?" " I looked it up the other day. It means one who is fond of or devoted to. So I'm your lover." She blushed, I wish, she thought. Mulder continued " Because I'm fond of and devoted to you." Scully giggled and ruffled his hair which she had allowed to get longer than she should have. " First we need to get you a haircut, then we'll get lunch and Toys." " Great I found an old picture of me and I want my hair like that." Mulder pulled the picture out of his jacket pocket. Scully looked at it, the Pusher case. She loved his hair that way, really short sides, slightly longer top, combed perfectly. " Yeah that's nice." Toys'r us " Well some little boy or girl will be thrilled when they get home." The cashier said when she saw the Sony Play station and various Play station games and 3D puzzles. Scully smiled and Mulder looked off at a bubble gum machine. Mulder whispered in Scully's ear. " Can I get one?" Pointing to the candy machines " Sure here." Scully said handing him 4 quarters " Get me one of those alien stickers." Mulder nodded, and kissed her on the cheek before walking off " You came on good day, $152.45 is your total." " Thanks." Scully said handing over her check card. "If you don't mind me saying, your boyfriend's real handsome." "Thank you, I think so too." The cashier giggled, waiting for the receipt to print. She watched the difficulty Mulder had with the candy machine before figuring it out. " These aren't for your kids, are they?" Some one that dumb shouldn't procreate, she thought in her mind. " No, actually there for him." Now the cashier was throughly confused "He was in a bad accident about 6 months ago. They help his hand eye coordination." The clerk nodded, no wonder he had such trouble with the candy machine, she thought as she handed Scully the receipt. Mulder came back "This one alright?" Displaying a tie dye alien head sticker. Scully nodded and handed him a bag. 3 weeks later Scully took her glasses off and rubbed the bridge of her nose. The sounds of Tomb raider blazed from the living room. Scully looked at her watch. Reading time she thought as she stood up, stretched and walked over to get Mulder. " It's 2:00 Mulder, time to practice reading." " One minute, I'm almost done." " Done? With this level?" "No with the game, I'm on the last level. There!" You win blazed across the screen and Mulder smiled up at her. Scully kissed his forehead gently and started to pull away when Mulder clasped her head in his hands and brought her lips to his. He started to hungrily kiss her and Scully pulled away. Mulder let out a disappointed sigh. I'm still not doing it right, he thought, I need more practice. He caught her by the waist as she headed to her office. He turned her towards him and claimed her mouth again with his, starting to kiss her gently, slowly increasing with intensity. I need to stop him before I do something I shouldn't, but he tightened his grip around her waist. Maybe if I slip my tongue in like the guy in the movie yesterday, bet she'll like that. Mulder let his tongue tentatively explore her bottom lip and Scully mouth opened invitingly. Mulder's tongue entered and started to taste her. He felt her tongue slide over his and her hands move from his arms to his waist. She brushed her hand past his zipper and he gasped into her mouth, that felt really good, he thought. He pulled her shirt from her jeans and his hands disappeared up her shirt. Oh no this is not happening, I need control, I need . . His fingers lightly brushed over her bra and Scully gasped and finally found the strength to pull away. "Did I not do it right again?" Mulder said exasperated, breathless. Scully smiled softly " No Mulder you did it right, too right. Come on we're reading Roald Dahl today." 3 days later " That was good Mulder." Scully said applauding as he finished reading. " I think it would help if I read to you for longer periods at night, then you could see what I mean about fluency and pausing." Mulder nodded and stood quickly " Can we play a game?" " Sure which . ." Scully's phone rang and she answered it quickly " Scully" Mulder watched her on the phone, business talk, I wonder what its like to have a job. Scully hung up and rose quickly. " I'm sorry Mulder, I can't play today. I have to go to work for a few hours. I'll leave a snack out for you on the table ok?" Mulder nodded and watched her go out the door, then gleefully camped out on the couch and watched cartoons. 8 p.m. Scully came in and hopped into the shower. It had been a while since she had been in the autopsy bay, she had forgotten, how fun and tiring it was. She closed her eyes as the water washed away her worries, then she felt something touch her chest and she opened her eyes quickly. She found a fully clothed, soaking wet Mulder standing in front of her. " Mulder! What are you doing in here with all your clothes on?" Mulder left and Scully rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself. She closed her eyes only to open them when she felt something touch her again. She opened her eyes to see a naked Mulder in front of her. " Mulder! What do you want?" He touched her breasts gently and looked at her quizzically, then he leaned into her and kissed her hard on the lips. Scully pushed him away lightly so not to throw him off balance "Stop that Mulder! Why are you in here?" " I wanted to be with you."he said innocently " Have you taken a shower yet?" He nodded no and she grabbed the soap and started lathering her washcloth and ran it over his back. " You like that?" She said when Mulder moaned slightly. He nodded yes and leaned into her touch. She handed him the washcloth and said "Finish up and meet me on the couch, I got some videos to make up for having to leave this afternoon." Mulder nodded and happily finished his shower. She pulled her Palm Pilot out of her desk and made a note to tell the therapist about his overtly sexual behavior. He came out in his Marvin the Martian boxers and plopped on the couch next to Scully. Scully pushed play and said " It's called The Never-Ending Story you'll like it. It's about a book that was written by a boy's imagination." Mulder looked at her intrigued as the movie started. Half way through, Mulder placed his head in Scully's lap and turned to watch the movie stretching out along the length of the couch. Scully covered him with the cotton fleece blanket that was draped on the back of the couch. Mulder shifted till he was comfortable then reached back and put Scully's hand in his hair. Scully smiled and played with his hair. When the movie was over, Mulder rooted through the Blockbuster bag at her feet " Krull?" He said looking at it with interest. Scully lifted his head off her lap and put it in the VCR and pressed play. " I need some popcorn and soda, you want some juice or tea?" " Can I have a soda too?" Scully grabbed him a caffeine free Pepsi and gave it to him. He fiddled with the top confused for a few minutes, while Scully popped popcorn and grabbed him a bag of sunflower seeds and came back to the couch. Mulder looked at her lost and handed her his soda. " Open it for me, Scully." He said with a disappointed tone. " Here watch and I'll let you open mine. You grab the little ring and pull it up till it opens then push it back. Ok? You try mine." Scully handed him her Pepsi and he opened it quickly. He smiled at himself and Scully giggled, patting her lap. He returned his head to it and sighed contently as he sipped his soda. 3 days later " Hi, Dana. Is something wrong, you've never requested to talk to me before." " Well its Mulder. He's being . . . he's been showing some overtly sexual behavior lately. Innocently, but still it's disturbing to me because before the accident we were involved. I'm in love with him and I don't trust myself with him when he does things like that." " That does seem to be a problem, but why? He's expressed his feelings for you, but what's holding you back?" " I don't want to take advantage of him. Sometimes I see him like he was and I say oh why not give in, then I'll feel that scar on his scalp when I run my fingers through his hair and reality comes back. " Have you been rebuffing his advances?" " Yes, well kinda." " Kinda?" " He's very affectionate. I've been letting him kiss me, hug me, hold me and stuff. Do I have to stop? I still love him and I want to be with him when he's fully rehabed but . . ." " I understand. You don't have to stop him. Just set boundaries for him, what signs of affection are appropriate when and where, till he's mentally able to decide that on his own." " Thank you Carol. Now another matter, how do you think he's doing? Will he ever go back to being the old Mulder?" " No, the old Mulder you knew and loved will not return." "So he's basically starting on a clean state memory wise?" " Yes, He remembers nothing before the accident. He picks up on things quickly, so we still believe his IQ is high, maybe even still in the genius level. How is his reading coming?" " Good, He's up to 3rd read level books. But I worry, he's so innocent and childlike now. Will he be able to adjust enough to rejoin the working world?" " You let him watch TV right?" " Yeah?" " He'll adjust. A few sessions with Daria, South Park and Jerry Springer should do the trick." Scully and Carol laughed till Scully got paged. " Thank you for your time Carol." Later that Night Mulder tossed and turned in his bed and finally got up and went into Scully's room. He could always sleep when he was with her. She drives away his nightmares with one brush of her hand. She turned a little when he came in and he stopped. He didn't want to wake her. He continued and climbed in next to her and smiled, he liked sleeping with Scully. He wished he didn't have to sleep in the other room. He caressed her hair lightly, letting his hand trace down her neck and her side, resting on her exposed belly. He nuzzled his nose in her hair gathering her scent. Scully opened her eyes, she was feeling warm and really comfortable, then she felt something on her lips, and she saw Mulder and pushed him away little. " Mulder! What are you doing in here?" " I couldn't sleep. I can always sleep when I'm with you." " Well warn me next time." " That's why I kissed you to warn you." Scully grinned at him and kissed him softly on the lips and snuggled into his chest. " I love you Mulder. Night." 1 week later Afternoon " Mulder, want to take a break and go to the park?" Mulder looked up from his book. He'd gotten hooked on the Ramona series, all he wanted to do was read, which wasn't bad considering what it was doing for his reading skills. He nodded and reluctantly closed his book. Scully reached for his hand and he hurried to catch up. He gave her an quick peck on the cheek, when he caught up and she smiled. We played frisbee, ate hotdogs, Scully even taught me how to play baseball. Whispering to me, Hips before hands, she was so close to me, and now we're walking through the park on the way home. I have to know now. " Scully, I don't want to sleep alone anymore." That caught Scully off guard and she stopped. " Why not Mulder?" " I can never fall asleep when I'm alone. Is there a way I can sleep with you all the time?" Scully smiled, and thought about it. "What about if we got married, I'll be able to sleep with you then won't I ?" Scully let out a surprised gasp. " Yes Mulder you would." " Well then can we get married?" " Mulder, we don't have to get married for you to sleep in my bed with me." "Oh" "I want you to look up what marriage is, do a little project on it and write me a paper. When you know more about it, you can ask me again ok?" Mulder nodded and kissed her on the lips. Scully decided to indulge herself and kissed him back, placing her arms around his neck when, " Dana? Dana Scully?" Scully pulled away annoyed and peeked over Mulder's shoulder to see an old college friend. " Nick! Oh my god hey!" The two old friends hugged, then Nick said " Who's the guy, he's cute." " He's my par . .he's my boyfriend. Mulder, this is Nickole Buchanan." Mulder reached out his hand for her to shake. "Just call me Nick, Mulder that's an interesting first name." " Actually its my last name. Don't go by my first name." "That bad huh?" Mulder smiled and nodded. Nick turned back to Scully "You live around here?" " Yeah I live about 7 blocks from here. Don't tell me you live near here too?" "Yeah I just moved in last month. I live in those new townhouses 2 blocks from here." "Wow your close by then, come on we were going in, we have to catch up." Mulder touched Scully hand lightly and she entwined her fingers with his. Mulder leaned down and kissed her sweetly on the mouth, inserting his tongue for good measure. Nick blushed a little and Scully pushed Mulder away a little, and gave him a confused look. "You didn't finish what you started." He said softly Scully's apartment Mulder went back to his room and started reading his book again. " He's quiet. Thought you'd fall for a more boisterous, exuberant guy." He used to be, Scully thought then said "He was in a bad accident about 7 months ago. He's still recovering." " Really, what happened?" " He was hit by a jack knifing Mack Truck while walking home." " Ouch! And he's still alive? That's a miracle. How is he?" " Well physically, he's fine but he's relearning every thing. Its hard sometimes, remembering what he was like before." " Scully?" Mulder said softly " Yes Mulder?" He padded over to her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead " Can I have a soda?" " That's probably what's keeping you up at night, sure bring me one too, Nick?" She nodded and Mulder happily went and got three sodas. He placed them on the table and snuggled into Scully's side placing his head in her lap " What do you do Nick?" He asked " I'm a trauma surgeon at Georgetown Medical center." Mulder nodded and smiled " What do you do Mulder?" " I used to work for the FBI, then I got hit by a truck so now I just hang at the house and take care of things." 3 weeks later, Saturday " Hey Nick, sorry I'm rushing, got an autopsy to do." " Oh I just wanted to stop by and see if you needed any help with Mulder or something?" "Not as long as he has a book to read. He's trying to write a research paper, if you could hang around just in case he needs help I'd appreciate it. Other wise I'll have the phone in one hand and my scalpel in the other." Nick laughed and followed Scully into the study. " Mulder I have to go to work, Nick will be here if you need help ok?" Mulder nodded, his nose still buried in the dictionary. "Thanks Nick" When she was gone, Nick pulled up a chair next to Mulder and asked " So what you researching?" " Marriage." Nick blinked then smiled " Why?" " Cause I want to marry Scully, but she said I had to do a paper on it first so I understand what it is, then I can ask her again." " When did you ask her?" "About 3 weeks ago." " Oh." Was that what I interrupted that day in the park, a proposal? She sat and watched him studying, writing notes carefully with an uncharacteristically neat hand, chewing that perfect bottom lip when he got confused or frustrated. No wonder Dana loved him, it only made Nick wish she knew him before the accident. She spied some photo albums and picked one up dated 1996-1997 wow! She thought looking at the picture of him in his FBI suit and tie, smiling at the person taking the picture. He's lost a lot of weight from this picture she thought as she flipped through it, her eyes falling on one of the last pictures in the book. It was of both of them together looking over a file. They probably made a formidable pair, his sexy cockiness and her serious strength. Dana went on and on about him the other night. She felt like she'd known him forever. She flipped the page to catch a nice picture of them in a more casual setting. It was obviously taken professionally. He was in a nice heather gray turtle neck and she was in a light tan dress, cuddled close together. It's like they had been in love forever, it was hard for her to believe they had only started dating a month before the accident. She picked up the 98-99 photo album, and she was immediately caught by the change in Mulder. He had lost weight, and cut his hair really short and spiky. He seemed distant, then she flipped the page, his hair had grown out to the length it was now, he seemed happier, he looked like he'd been working out. She came across another picture of them together, looking very GQ in matching light blue shirts, then it picked up with post accident pictures. She looked back at Mulder who was writing furiously. Nick walked over to him and asked " Can I read some?" Mulder nodded and handed her the first couple pages. She started reading, amazed at how well written it was. " This is good." Mulder smiled and continued writing only to stop suddenly and ask " Do you think she'll marry me Nick?" " I don't know Mulder, she loves you a lot, I think she will." "Good. Will she marry me right away?" " Probably not, but you'll have to ask her." Mulder nodded quietly adding a thank you as he continued writing. Sunday, Batting cages Park, late afternoon " Ok I'll put it on slow, belt them out of the park Mulder." He smiled and got ready for the first ball. " You should have told me what the paper was about, I would have been more prepared." Scully looked at Nick quizzically " He asked you to marry him and you told him to do a paper on it?" " He told you that? No he asked if he could sleep with me in my bed cause it helped him not have nightmares and then he said would he be able to do that if we were married. I said yes then he asked me to marry him. He didn't understand." " He really loves you Dana" " I know he does." " He's very serious about this. He wants to marry you." " I know." "What's the problem?" " I want the Mulder I fell in love with. I want him whole. I want him the way he was, not like this." He missed the third ball by a hair. " Almost Mulder!! You got it!! Keep it up!!" " He's not going to be the same Dana. Take my word on it, no one is hit by a truck and snaps back totally. No matter how brilliant they were before the accident. He'll probably get back 98%, but his personality has changed. Trust me, this is what I do every day." " I can't give up on him." " Your not giving up on him. You need to give up on this irrational idea that he's going to be the old Mulder again cause he's not. He never will be and you need to accept that and move on. Enjoy the man you have, because he's not supposed to be here right now. People don't survive being run over by Mack trucks, or out here hitting baseballs 8 months later. Be thankful for what you have." Scully smiled, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away as Mulder finally got his rhythm down and started smacking balls out of the park. " GO Mulder! That's it!" Scully screamed then she sat down and started sobbing. Crying for a dream that would never come true, for having to accept something that was not in her control. The machine stopped and Mulder looked back at Scully. Nick was rubbing her back consolingly as Scully cried into her hands. Mulder threw down his bat and ran to her. He wrapped his arms around her and asked " What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" Scully smiled sadly and shook her head no. Mulder eyed Nick suspiciously "What did you do to her?" He said sharply " Mulder! She didn't do anything, calm down, I'm fine now thank you." He eyed Nick again angrily, then turned his attention back to Scully, who he kissed on her neck and forehead whispering consoling words to her which made her cry harder. She clung to him till she was out of tears then apologized quickly. " I ruined your fun." "No you didn't, the machine stopped a while ago." Scully sniffed and pulled away from him and looked at him. Really looked at him. This Mulder. Her Mulder. I like this one better, he's more in tune with his feelings, so emotionally expressive and open. He took off his tear soaked shirt and handed it to her to wipe her face off with. "Thank you, here." " No keep it, I can't wear it like that." Scully laughed and kissed him lightly on the lips. " Come on Mulder you deserve some ice cream, coming Nick?" Nick looked at them and smiled " No, I need to do some things at the house before I go to work tomorrow. See you later." Later that night. Mulder climbed in next to Scully and snuggled close. Scully turned and buried herself in his chest. Scully opened her eyes when she felt his erection pressing into her belly. She looked up at him, he looked confused. How can I explain this to him? " Mulder, you okay?" " No some things wrong. I feel funny." " What do you mean?" " I want to kiss you." " What's wrong with that?" " Nothing, but its different. I don't know." Scully touched his chest lightly and kissed him soundly on the lips. His reaction was immediate. He kissed her back furiously, rolling her on her back. He thrust his tongue in her mouth, and touched her everywhere. Oh boy, what are you doing Scully? Get him off you! No matter how good this feels maintain control. He started to grind into her and she gasped, pushing him off her. He was stunned for a second, then came back with more force, attacking her lips hungrily. Oh god, he's out of control. " Mulder! Stop!" She screamed as she pushed him hard. Mulder stopped, breathing hard "What?" "What do you mean what? What did you think you were doing?" Mulder shrugged "I think I was trying to . . .I think I was making love to you." Scully smiled "Mulder, Mulder, Mulder." " I read in my book married people have sex and they like to call it making love and when I get that feeling like I did, that means I'm aroused." Scully tried unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle "You felt it too, that's why you kissed me like that. Right?" Scully stopped laughing, busted. " Mulder I love you sweetheart, but I'm not ready to make love to you right now ok? You understand?" Mulder nodded and sighed deeply. " You okay sweetie?" " No, but I can wait I guess." Scully smiled, great just what I need a sexually frustrated Mulder. 3 months later "Why are they . . .Scully what's going on?" " Shh Mulder, it's okay, they just want to check and see if every things ok in there. We don't want any setbacks okay?" Mulder nodded and they continued setting him up for his EEG. Scully sat up in the control booth with the neurologist and watched the test progress. "Hmm " the doctor said "Hmm what?" The doctor pointed to the monitor " See that spike? The flashing lights caused it. Lets see what happens if its increased." He said as he pressed a button for the lights. " Whoa!" The doctor said as Mulder started seizing The doctor stopped the lights " Make sure he doesn't fall off the bed." Then turning to Scully " Has he done that before?" " No, not even after the accident. The only reason I wanted to run this test was because he tended to space out and it looked like he was having a petit mal seizure. Is this a severe case?" " I don't know I have to run some more tests and see what else sets it off and what's causing it. He'll need to be admitted to the hospital for a few days okay?" Scully nodded and went to Mulder who was coming back from the seizure " I don't feel well." " I know Mulder, the doctor wants you to stay at the hospital till we can figure out why your not feeling well ok?" Mulder nodded and reached for her hand. She squeezed it and kissed his forehead. " I need to get you some stuff from the house, I'll be back in about an hour or so okay?" " Can you get me something to eat? I don't like the hospital food." 1 hour later Scully approached Mulder's room, a Subway club and chips for Mulder in her hand as she saw doctors swarming around him in his room. " What's going on?" " We discovered the problem, he has a brain aneurysm. We need to operate immediately or it will burst. We just sedated him to shave his head, we need to get him down to OR now." Scully nodded and took his stuff up to the OR waiting room. She opened his sandwich and took a bite. He won't need this any more, they'll never let him have it after surgery. " Dr Scully?" Scully looked up to see Carol, Mulder's therapist "Hi Carol" " Heard Mulder was admitted?" " He had a seizure during his EEG and they discovered a Brain aneurysm, want half?" Carol looked at the sandwich and took the half Scully offered. " He wanted me to get him some lunch when I went to get his stuff, but he won't be able to eat it after his surgery. He likes the 12 inch Subway club, tomatoes, mustard and extra cheese, heated with lays classic chips." Scully said tears coming out of her eyes. "Everything was going so well, why this? Why now? He's come so far. He'd gotten his high school diploma again, he was offered a position at the FBI as a profiling consultant. What if he has to start over?" Scully continued crying, Carol let her, knowing it was what she needed. Aneurysm burst when we opened him up, able to control the bleeding, don't know if the damage has been fixed. Increase of inter-cranial pressure. Wait and see. Scully laid her head on his chest. It had been almost a two weeks since the surgery, the Tergetol didn't help, the phenobarbital made him sick and the dilantin made him zombie like. Mulder woke suddenly and said "I'm not going to get better, am I?" Scully shocked by the sudden outburst answered " Don't worry Mulder, we'll figure this out. If all else fails, we'll get you a lower dose of dilantin, that worked well." Mulder sat up quickly and kissed her hard. " What was that for?" Mulder shrugged and stood up, heading for the bathroom, when he fell to the ground as he started to. Scully hit the nurse button and asked for assistance as she moved sharp objects out of Mulder's way. After 5 minutes, the seizure subsided. " Scully? How did I get down here?" The nurses and doctors swarmed around him attaching wires, checking vitals, his IV, making sure he didn't hurt his head and changing his soiled pants. Once they were sure he was all right and clean they helped him back to bed. "Nothings working. Maybe if we increase his dilantin . . . When was his last grand mal seizure?" "About an hour ago." "Really? We'll order an CAT scan on him, something is not right and he's not leaving till we figure it out." Scully looked down at Mulder who was looking off at nothing. "Mulder? Mulder?" No response " Doctor he's having a petit mal now." "Quick get him down to get an EEG stat. EEG They watched the screen as the seizure progressed. " He's had successive petit mals and grand mals for the past 30 minutes, don't you think you should . . ." " I wanted to just confirm something before I give him the shot of diazepam." " What?" "Right here the temporal lobe, the activity is off the charts. I'm surprised he hasn't expressed more serious seizures before two weeks ago. If what I'm seeing is right, nothing can prevent his seizures. I can give him a prescription to control them, lessen there duration and frequency but not stop them." Mulder slept for 28 hours straight before waking up. He accepted the news of his condition better than Scully thought he would. He had begun to enjoy his new found freedom, this would restrict him greatly. Then the doctor came back in with Mulder's new piece of equipment. "It's a crash helmet, so when you go unconscious during your seizures you won't injure your head." " What?! There is no way I'm wearing that!" " You'll have to wear it Mr. Mulder, at all times even in the shower. The only time it can come off is when you go to bed." " I don't believe this! No! I am not wearing a helmet! The last thing I need is to LOOK like a freak too!" " Mr. Mulder its for your own safety . . ." " No!" Mulder screamed, as he went into a fierce grand mal seizure. When Mulder recovered, he was getting cleaned up by the nurses, and Scully was ruffling his extremely short hair, looking concerned and his head hurt something awful. " See Mr. Mulder. You cut your head on the side rail. Now imagine if you had crashed down on a table or something. Now please wear your helmet." The doctor said holding the helmet out for Mulder to take. Mulder nodded weakly, then shrieked in pain and surprise when a nurse started a betadine scrub on his cut. 2 weeks later Mulder dressed slowly then looked at his black crash helmet. Scully had it airbrushed with an alien head going down the middle, I want to believe on one side and Resistance is futile on the other. It looked neat but wearing it meant his independence, his control and choice were taken from him. He imagined walking into the office with it on, the strange looks, the giggles. Mulder wanted to be accepted, he didn't want to feel like a charity case. No one wanted to work with an invalid, a cripple. Scully came in and saw him staring off into space, thought he was having a seizure, and called his name loudly " What?" Scully exhaled and smiled "I thought you were having a seizure. Ready to go?" Mulder nodded but didn't move. Scully came over and picked up his helmet placing it on his head lightly. She smiled and clicked the strap closed securing it to his head. "Come on. I have a couple of surprises waiting for you at home." Mulder's eyes brightened and he rose grinning at her slightly. Scully's apt. "Close your eyes and sit on the couch, I'll be right back." Mulder sat on the couch anxiously awaiting his surprises. He started to fidget then she came back and sat something in his hand. He opened his eyes and saw a small velvet box. He looked at her confused. " Open it." Mulder opened it to see two gold wedding bands, one engraved Fox and one Dana, and a diamond engagement ring. Mulder looked at her surprised. "Wedding rings?" " And my engagement ring, hope you don't mind I picked my own out." "You bought your own. . ." "No you did. I used your check book to pay for it." Mulder chuckled a little "Well is there something you want to ask me Mulder?" Mulder looked up at her confused for a moment, then he threw her his lopsided grin and said quietly " Will you marry me Scully?" " Yes I will Mulder." Mulder smiled and put the engagement ring on her with shaky hands. He laughed nervously, and blushed. "What's my next surprise?" Scully clapped and a beautiful Auburn and cream Siberian Husky came out of the bed room. " This is Fox, your epilepsy dog. Guess we'll need to call him Fox jr, so we won't confuse the two of you. He can detect your seizures and warn you ahead of time so you can get to a safe place. He can also alert you to the types, but you'll learn that as you get used to him." " I can take him anywhere?" "Any and every where. He has a special harness he wears that lets every one know he's a working dog." Mulder smiled and leaned forward kissing her softly on the lips "Thank you, I love you." " I love you too, but I got one more surprise." She went to the study and brought back a tangerine I-book and placed it on his lap. " Skinner called and said that you could consult via email. You don't even have to leave the living room if you didn't want too. They'll send you every thing you need via email. Skinner's going to come by later tonight and brief you on everything. But the bureau supplied your I-book. They were going to get you one of those Compacs but I knew you had been dying to get one of these I-books." Mulder nodded and ran his fingers over the cool plastic of his laptop as Scully got up and kissed his cheek tenderly, "Welcome Back Mulder."