Love Letters by Mulderslady

                                        
                                             
                    
DISCLAIMER: They don't belong to me, wish they did. Only
Nora, Dan, Karen, Carol, Dr. Eric Marvins, and Gini do. 
RATING: P.G.-13 to R           
CLASSIFICATION: S, Alternative Universe kinda, A, MT
KEYWORDS: MSR, Mulder and Scully angst, AU kinda, Mental
Muldertorture, Past Child abuse
SPOILERS: Grotesque
URL: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/5160/letters.html
FEEDBACK: Please!!! at damacia@home.com
ARCHIVE: Oh yeah, anywhere!!
SUMMARY: Scully starts to receive anonymous Love Letters.  In
a way this is a Taking chances Series story, but at the moment I'm
not sure if this will turn into a series of its own.  

AUTHOR'S WARNING:: There are some glimpses into Mulder's
past which include some disturbing scenes of Child Abuse .  You've
been warned!!

AUTHOR NOTES:: A description of Mulder's Social Disorder is
explained at the end of the story.


*****************************************************
*************************
Like any one worthy I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman I have simply wanted an object to
crave.

Uninvited by Alanis Morrisette
*****************************************************
*************************


He watched her jog, her fiery hair bouncing with each stride, her
firm calf muscles, shaking from impact, her sapphire eyes a glow
with endorphines.  She was beautiful and he had watched her for
years doing the same routine every morning.  She works for the
FBI, she's a teacher at there academy, forensic pathology.  She's
beautiful, smart and completely unaware I exist with these feelings. 
She's beautiful, but doesn't seem to have any male admirers. 
Well she does, but they seem afraid to approach her.  They call her
Doc Ice, the Ice queen, but I know she's just particular. She
knows what she wants and how to get it, and she won't settle for
less that includes in her men.  Her last boyfriend, Jack was so
unworthy of her, she soon realized and dumped him.  Now she's
ready and ripe for me to make my appearance.  I've waited in the
shadows long enough, its time for me to make my presence
known.


Quantico


"Agent Scully, got a letter."  Scully looked at him quizzically and
took the envelope.
"Thanks Mike."  Scully looked at the envelope, her name spelled
across it with obvious care, no return address.  She looked at the
clock, 4 p.m. time to start the trek to Alexandria she thought as
she placed the letter in her briefcase and locked up. 


Scully's Apt.

Scully sat on her couch and pulled out the envelope, she opened it
and
pulled out a 2 page letter written in the same careful hand.  This
guy takes his calligraphy seriously
'My beautiful Dana' it started, who is this guy? Scully thought as
she continued
'I was thinking of quoting Byron saying your love is like red, red
rose but you don't know me so I guess I can't.  I know you
though Dana I've watched you for years and even though you may
think your not, you are truly beautiful inside and out.  I find myself
watching you jog, walk, just be, I can't get enough of you.  Don't
worry, I would never harm you, I'm just smitten, taken with you
and by you.  I just thought you needed to know.'  The letter
rambled on eloquently and Scully felt her heart beating faster, not
out of fear, but from longing, desire, curiosity and wonder.
'Till next time     F'

F? Fred, Frank, I don't know any guys or girls for that matter
with F for a first or last initial who are capable of this kind of
eloquence.  She reread the letter and sighed heavily,
'I'm not worthy like all the others, but I thought I might try.'  This
is stupid, she thought, you need to be down at the Crime lab at
Quantico
analyzing this. But for some reason I feel . . . I don't feel afraid of
him, I'm drawn in.  Isn't that how most serial killers make there
victims feel?  But this is different; I know it is.  Scully refolded the
letter and put it in her desk and went to bed.


3 days later

Scully opened her door and stumbled into her apartment, when she
saw the envelope on her floor.  He knows where I live?  Scully
picked it up and excitedly opened it.  It was thicker than the first but
written with the same care.

'Dana my dearest, I can't stop thinking about you.  I can't shake
you from my mind.  I wish I was worthy enough to meet you so I
can stop this longing, but I can't, not yet.  I took the liberty of
dropping this one by the house. I thought it was less suspicious,
don't want you to have a lot of office gossip about your secret
admirer, you have enough to deal with. They don't appreciate
your brilliance and strength, but I do.  The wind whipped though my 
hair as I watched you jog today, I could have sworn it was your
fingers caressing me, your lips kissing my cheeks.  I have to stop
that
kind of thinking, I'll never be able to do that, this tortured soul could
never earn the love of one as fair as you.  Dana my love . . . my love;
how presumptuous of me to even assume your mine.  I assume too
much. How do I know your even reading these at all, that I'm not
just wasting my time?  I know . . . I feel you are reading these so I
will continue to write them.

Yours truly      F'

Scully folded the letter and put it next to the first in her drawer. 
Who is this guy? Maybe I could get Nora to do a profile for me.  I
have to meet him, see him, let him know he is worthy of me.




2 months later


Scully sat on her couch sipping her hot chocolate and opened her
book to the first page.  I am going to finish this book today if it
kills me.  I've been trying desperately to read Sense and Sensibility
for 3 weeks, but something always interrupts me.  Scully got
through the first page when a knock came at her door.  Scully
rolled her eyes, I knew it! She thought as she opened the door and
smiled.
"Nora hey, what's up?"
"Got that profile you wanted Dana. So come on what's the scoop,
one girl to another, where did you get those letters?" 
Scully smiled at Nora, they had been friends since the academy.
Nora taught behavioral psychology and was considered one of the
best profilers in the country.
"Come on in, want some hot chocolate?"
"Sure.  So?"
"Those letters I gave you to do the profile with, were sent to me." 
"WHAT?!!"
"Hold on, let me read your profile before I start freaking out."
"Ok, do you have marshmallows?"
"Yeah cabinet above the fridge."  Scully said as she started reading
the profile.  Male 29-40, professional, highly intelligent, attractive
but not distractingly so.  Has a poor self image, low self esteem,
possible past abuse, definite abuse by father.  Highly sensitive,
takes praise and rejection hard.  Loner, avoids social situations, most
likely suffers from some form of panic disorder probably social
anxiety
disorder; Could be described as painfully shy in person, extra
ordinarily quiet and withdrawn.  Viewed by peers as weird or crazy,
must trust you implicitly before opening up to you.  Not dangerous,
but
protective.
"Wow, Nora, great job, this helps a lot.  So he's not dangerous?"
"Far from it, he seems like the perfect guy for you.  Intelligent,
understands you, loves you deeply, not just for superficial reasons. 
His love seems to be based on personality, hopefully you can meet
him one day, so what are you doing today?"
"Drinking hot chocolate and reading a book want to join in?"
"Sure anything to get out and away for a few hours, whatcha
reading?"
"Sense and Sensibility.  Come on in under the blanket, don't you
love this book holder my mom got me?  Keeps your hands free for
holding hot chocolate."  Nora laughed and climbed in under the
blanket and Scully started the second page when there was a soft
rattle and the sound of whooshing papers.  Scully looked up to see
another envelope
"It's him!! Hurry!"  Scully ran to the door and threw it open
"Hey! Wait!"  She yelled to a fleeing form.
"It's him come on Nora."  They ran down the hall and two flights
of stairs after him
"Wait! I just want to talk with you! Please stop!"  Scully pleaded. 
The figure looked back, a look of panic and fear on his face, then he
put on an extra burst of speed.  Scully stopped and looked
stunned.
"Did you get a good look at him Nora?"
"No he was moving too fast.  He's tall, has brown hair that's it."
"Dang it!"  Scully exclaimed then headed back in the building
"Well lets go read his latest installment."


4 weeks later
Scully's mom's place 
Christmas


"Dana, this was in the mail box for you."  Mrs. Scully said handing
her a small box.  Scully's face brightened as she saw the familiar
lettering.  She quickly grabbed the box.
"Thanks, Mom."  Her brother Bill snatched it from her quickly
"Who's it from, runt?"
"Bill, give that back!"
"Why something you don't want the family to see?"
"Bill, stop it! It's private! Give it!"  Bill held it over his head just
out of Scully's reach.  She punched him in the stomach which
crumpled him to the ground, making him drop the box.
"Dana! Bill! Stop it!"  Mrs. Scully said sternly.  Scully sat on the
couch and opened the box to see a one page letter and a long
rectangular box.
'For my Darling Dana, here's a gift that says more than words
Till next time my love  F' Scully opened the box and gasped slightly
"What?" her mom asked
"It's so . . .it's . . . beautiful."  Scully said picking up the
delicate-looking opal bracelet and eyeing it with wonder.
"Wow, Dana, who's the guy?"  Her brother Charlie asked touching
the bracelet gently as if it would break.
"My secret admirer...look at the matching necklace."  She pulled out
the necklace and held it up for display.
"My goodness, Dana, you need to bring the young man by the house
so I can meet him.  Why didn't you invite him up?"
"Uh, he had to work."  She lied, while thinking, actually I haven't a
clue who he is, only that he's tall, has brown hair and low self
esteem.  She smiled and handed her mom the necklace to put on her
as she clasped the bracelet on her left wrist.



1 week later



"Mulder! Mulder! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!"
"Yes sir." Fox Mulder said refocusing on his boss Bill Patterson. 
This profile was taking longer than his usual ones, but that was only
cause he's been working 72 hours straight, with no sleep, minimal
food and water and no leads.  They wouldn't let him go to the crime
scene.  I need to go there, it is the only way I can visualize the killer,
find the pattern.  It certainly wasn't here with only a scrap of red
shirt as a clue.  He brushed his stubborn forelock out of his eyes and
tried to concentrate.   He's a handsome boy, shaggy chestnut hair,
strong jaw, that kind of pouty mouth women love and amazing
mystical hazel eyes, but
he rarely leaves this office, this office is his life, his boss thought as
he spewed the newest facts of the case.  A genius, Oxford educated,
but extremely shy, painfully so.  There's a lot of pain in those eyes. 
He's only 33, but his eyes are those of someone far older.
"Have you eaten anything yet?"  Patterson asked, concerned
"Uh, I think so."
"Not good enough, here eat this.  I'll be back in an hour." 
Patterson plopped a club sandwich in front of Mulder and he stared
at it strangely for a second then stood up quickly
"Sandwich shop, he works for a sandwich shop.  A manager,
medium build, green gray eyes, amazing strength in his hands, he'll
stand out from the other employees."  
Patterson double blinked "What?! Who?"
"The UNSUB sir."  
Patterson flipped out his cellphone and dialed up the SAC of the
investigation. 
"Mulder, you are one spooky bastard."  Patterson said as he left the
office.  Mulder smiled then pulled out an envelope from his
desk. He took out his calligraphy pen and addressed it, Dana
Scully. He sighed and tapped it against the desk.  She's not reading
these, he thought, If she's not, why did she run after me that
day?  Why'd she want to talk?  Probably wanted to read me my
rights for harassment.  She didn't sound like that though, she
sounded like she really wanted to talk with me.   I wish could, what
would I say, what would I do?  Probably drool all over myself and
babble like an idiot.  He put the envelope in his jacket pocket and
packed up to go.
"Spooky! Hey Spooks, just heard about that last profile you did.
Caught the guy 5 minutes ago. Great call."
"Thanks Reggie," he said softly
"Mulder, I got a case I want you to look at tomorrow, meet me at
Quantico 11:30 am okay?"
"Sure, Reggie, Goodnight."  
Reggie smiled at him and gave him a pat on the back as he passed.
"That guy is seriously weird."
"Mulder? Nah, he's just shy Davidson."
"No he's seriously weird, Patterson plops a sandwich on his desk and
he spews out a perfect profile like that." Davidson said, snapping his
fingers to illustrate.
"He's gifted, leave him alone. He's got enough problems without
people calling him crazy."  Reggie said rolling his eyes and going to
see Patterson.


Next day Quantico 11:30 am

Mulder followed Reggie down to the morgue his eyes focused on
the ground counting the tiles and memorizing the styles and shapes.
Reggie stopped and straightened his tie and looked at Mulder.
"Straighten up, you're about to meet the legendary Doc Ice." 
Mulder straightened his tie and brushed his cowlick out of his eyes
and nodded. Reggie knocked and entered.
"Dr. Scully?"  
Scully looked over her shoulder at the agents and rolled her eyes,
continuing with her lecture.
"Ouch! Felt that death threat from here, Reg."  Davidson teased. 
Mulder watched her with awe, her movements were so graceful,
precise, her voice so deep, firm, inviting but strong, it demanded
respect and authority.  She dismissed her class and turned to the
three agents.
"Now, can I help you?"
"Hi, I'm Reggie Perdue, this is Michael Davidson, and this is Fox
Mulder, we are investigating the Matthews murder and . . ." 
"Oh yeah, the floater, hold on.  Kirk bring the floater out and put
him on table 2 will ya?"  She looked back at the agents again, Perdue
and Davidson looked like the standard issue FBI agents,
however...Mulder, Fox Mulder.  What kind of a woman names her
child Fox? A smart one, handsome booger.  Shaggy chestnut hair,
strong jaw and nose, a perfect mouth and gorgeous eyes.  There was
something about him that drew her.  Unlike the other agents, his
head was bowed, he was counting the tiles on the floor and the
ceiling anywhere but her or the other agents.  He seemed very
uncomfortable. Must be his first time in a morgue, she thought, let's
see if I can help.
"Fox Mulder? I've heard that name somewhere."
"He's the best profiler VCS has."
"Spookiest too."
"Shut up Mike.  Great profiler, profiled this last guy . . ."  
Mulder raised his hand to stop him.
"What? That was awesome, how you figured that out.  It was like
everything clicked for you."  Mulder blushed, his head dipped farther
as he focused more intently on the floor, not daring to move.  It
seemed like he was trying to melt into the floor and not be noticed.
"Oh that's right, my friend Nora told me about you.  She said she
always knew you'd best your teacher, the greatest compliment she
could ever have. I know she'd love to see you again.  We're going to
have lunch later, you want to come with us?"
"I . . .well . . .sure, okay."  Mulder said quietly, almost inaudibly. 
Scully went to talk with Kirk and Reggie elbowed him with a wink.
"I think the Ice Queen likes you.  Keep it up and maybe we'll get her
to help with the investigation."  Mulder turned crimson. That's
impossible, he thought, she's just being nice to me.  Scully came
back and smiled at them.
"Ok, what do you guys need?"
"Anything. A lead, something at least that gets the Spookster's
brain revved enough to give us a profile to go on."  
Mulder looked up at Reggie with eyes full of fear.  Wow he's
painfully shy, Scully thought.  Wait a second, painfully shy,
withdrawn, tall, with brown hair...no way...he can't be!
"Well, I'll see what I can do. It's going to get gruesome, just make
sure you make it to the bathroom before throwing up."  Scully put
on her gear, turned on her tape and said
"Scalpel.  Two deep slash marks on victims throat and one running
down the chest coming to a T at his thoracic/abdominal area."
"Gutted like a pig.  Pig, pig farm.  Pig farmer.  Is this guy a banker
or some financial investor?"  Mulder said suddenly
"Ah, Financial advisor."  Scully said looking at his chart.
"You're looking for a farmer, a pig farmer whose farm is being
foreclosed on."
"Whoa! How do you get that from a dead body with slash marks?"
Davidson asked
"Not slash marks.  He was gutted just like a pig at slaughter, see?
Plus, the fact that he was found in a septic tank drain off right?"
"Yep."  Scully said flipping through his chart.
"Makes sense to me," Reggie said pulling out his cell phone and
calling in the profile.  Mulder locked eyes with Scully for a moment. 
Electricity flowed through them, then he brushed his forelock out of
his face and looked away.
"Well, let me clean up and we can get going Mulder."  Scully said
taking off her gloves and heading to the locker room.
"If I didn't know any better, I think you did that so quick so you
could go on your lunch date sooner." Reggie kidded, causing
Mulder to flush wildly.


8 p.m.

"So what do you think, Nora?"
"He's still so handsome and so shy.  I really thought that therapy
would help."
"Nora!"
"Sorry, do I think what?"
"Mulder, that he's the guy writing me?"
"Mulder? Fox Mulder? You saw him, he could walk on the street
right now and get a date in under ten seconds, why would he need to
write you love letters?"
"You saw him, he hardly looked up once, shy, almost painfully so,
withdrawn, he fits the profile perfectly."
"Well, I guess he does, doesn't he? So what are you going to do
about it?"
"I don't know yet, I'll figure it out soon though."



3 days later FBI Awards Ball

"There's Spooky now, surprised he came."
"Don't know why he did, he'll just stand in a corner all night and
stare."
"He's seriously weird."
"He's getting an award tonight, that's why he's here."  Reggie said
firmly to the other agents.
"How do you know?"
"He got a haircut, plus Patterson's buzzing around like he's the king
of the world."
"10 o'clock, chick beyond compare, Doc Ice."
"Man, she's hot."
"Betcha I'll get her to dance with me later."
"Yeah right, you're on."  Reggie said before heading over to Mulder.
"Hey, buddy."  
Mulder jumped.
"Whoa, sorry man."
"I zoned out a little."
"That's okay, these things do it to the best of us.  Come on, I got us
a great table."  Mulder followed him to a table next to the dance
floor.
"Mulder! Hey sweetie, haven't seen you for while."  Reggie's wife
Gini said with a smile.
"They've been keeping me busy."
"Reggie told me.  Think you'll get an award tonight?"  
Mulder shrugged and started to play with the napkin in front of him.
"Nora, hey! Great seats."  He heard HER say.  He caught her sweet
scent like honey and roses, and turned to see her, a vision in a form
fitting midnight blue gown with a flared bottom and spaghetti straps. 
Mulder said a quiet "Wow", and sighed softly.  Gini heard him and
followed his gaze and smiled.
"She's gorgeous isn't she?" she said quietly
"Oh definitely, I wish . . ." Then Mulder stopped and went back to
playing with his napkin, blushing slightly.  She felt his gaze on her
and turned to see him seated at the table next to her.
"Mulder? Hey!"  Scully said waving slightly and smiling.  
Mulder smiled back at her and blushed more.  Agent Kevins from
VCS
came up to Scully and asked 
"Hey, Dana, um, I was wondering if you'd save a dance for me
later?"
"I'll think about it."  Scully said her eyes intently focused on Mulder. 
Mulder exhaled shakily, he was suddenly feeling very warm, he
needed some air.  He excused himself and made his escape.  Gini
smiled and chuckled to herself. Poor guy; he's got it bad.


Mulder kept looking over at Scully to find her always looking back. 
Does she know I'm the one sending her the letters or is she really
just interested in me?
"Where's Special Agent Mulder?  Mulder come up here."  
Mulder froze-Oh no.
"Go on, man" Reggie said pushing him up, as applause surrounded
Mulder. He flushed and his hands got sweaty.  He could feel
everyone staring at him as he stiffly walked up to the podium.
"Special Agent Fox William Mulder, for your continued excellence
in Behavioral Psychology unit, the FBI awards you this plaque. Keep
up the good work agent."  A.D. Skinner said handing him the plaque
and shaking his hand firmly.
"Speech, speech!"  the crowd demanded. 
Skinner pushed him to the mic and patted him on the back, smiling
at him.  Mulder looked out at the crowd with frightened eyes.  He
could see them laughing at him, and he took a deep breath. Calm
down, just say thank you and leave he thought.
"Come on, Spooky!"
"Yeah! Nothing long, Oxford boy!"  
Mulder smiled slightly and said, "Thank you, is that short enough?" 
The crowd laughed and clapped as Mulder exhaled and wiped his
brow as he quickly walked back to his table.  He practically fainted
in his chair.
"Wow, I thought he was going to faint. Did you see how pale he
got, Dana? Maybe you are right about him being the guy."  Nora
said, watching Mulder visibly collect himself.


9:30 p.m.


Mulder watched Reggie and his wife dance and sighed, wishing it
could be him and Dana.  If only he was less introverted, he'd walk
right over there and . . .The tango started to play when Skinner
stopped the music.
"Okay, lets have some fun and help out a good cause.  For the title
of King and Queen of the FBI Awards Ball, we need a couple to do
a
perfect tango, salsa, and swing.  The FBI will donated 10,000
dollars in the name of the couple to the Christian Adoption agency.
Let's get started!" 
Mulder smiled. Man my favorite dances, I wish I could . . . He felt a
tap on his shoulder and looked up to see Scully. He gasped slightly
then recovered
"Hi."
"Can you tango?"
"What?"
"Tango, Can you tango?"
"Uh yeah."
"Can you salsa?"
"Yeah?"
"How about swing?"  
Mulder nodded and Scully smiled wickedly.
"We have this in the bag then, come on."  She said holding out her
hand for him.  It felt like everyone's eyes were on him as he stared at
her perfectly manicured hand.  My dreams have come true, he
thought breathlessly.
"I can . . . I can't . . ."
"Sure you can.  We can beat the stuffing out of them.  I've wanted
to be queen of the ball for years.  I just never got a worthy partner,
until now."  Worthy? Me?
"Come on, Mulder, let's show them how it's done."  
Mulder smiled and grabbed her hand and followed her on to the
dance floor.
"Davidson, Is that Spooky? With the Ice Queen?"  
Davidson's mouth dropped to the floor at the sight.  The couples
took their positions and Reggie stared at Mulder strangely then gave
him a
thumbs up.
"This is in the bag, Follow my lead please."  Mulder said softly as
the tango started again.  He spun her out and grabbed her hand
pulling
her quickly back to him and started to tango expertly. Scully was
shocked with the ease and skill he showed.  Mulder smiled and
started
to relax as the tango ended and the salsa picked up.
"I know who you are Mulder."  
Mulder looked at her, confused.
"The letters, you write me the letters, don't you?"  
Mulder tensed, but didn't miss a step.
"Yes I do. I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I love them. I look forward to them coming, especially
recently when they came 2 and 3 times a day."
"You did?"
"Yes. After the first one I had to know who you were, so I gave
Nora
some of your letters, and she made me a profile."
"Really?"
"Pretty accurate too.  I knew it was you for sure when I first saw
you.  Do you know how long I've wanted to meet you?" 
"Why?"
"Why? Why not?  A man expresses feelings for me like that, bears
his soul, loves me so completely . . . Of course I had to meet you. 
The man who loved me."  The swing started, " The man I've fallen in
love with."
Mulder's eyes brightened as he looked in her glowing sapphire
wonders, looking for deceit and found none, just unbridled passion
and love.  He noticed for the first time she had on his necklace and
bracelet.
"You wore them?"
"Of course, I haven't taken them off since I got them."  Mulder's
head spun as the song and contest ended.
"Let's see, judges who was the winner."
"Couple #13, Agents Mulder and Scully."
"Agents Mulder and Scully, come up here."  
Mulder tensed and flushed.
"It's alright, it'll be over in a minute."  Scully said as she squeezed his
hand and pulled him on to the stage.



12:30 am



Mulder fidgeted in his chair. She said she loved me.  He watched her
dancing with Agent Davidson, she seemed bored.  She made eye
contact with him and smiled.  Mulder smiled back and straightened
his tie.
"Go get her, tiger."  Gini said quietly with an approving nod. 
Mulder threw her a grin and walked over to Agent Davidson and
gently tapped him on the shoulder.
"Can I cut in?"  
Davidson looked at him and laughed. "You have got to be kidding,
right?"
"No."
"Mmmm, No."  He said turning his back to Mulder.  Mulder sighed
and took a deep breath and repeated himself
"Can I cut in?"
"You're a persistent little prick bastard, aren't you? I said no. Wait
your turn."  
Mulder shrank back to his seat and Scully threw him a sympathetic
look.  Another slow song started and she broke away from
Davidson, only to attract a bunch of other agents.
"Sorry boys, I'm booked up for the rest of the evening," she said,
motioning for Mulder to come to her.  Mulder wasted no time and
came to her side like a dog heeling.  Mulder smiled at the
dumbstruck agents.
"Sorry guys," he said softly as they danced away.
"This is a joke, right?"
"If it is, it's a bad one." 
"Stupid kid can defrost the Ice Queen in one night, unbelievable."



 2 am


"Did you drive?"  Scully asked heading to her car.
"No, I took the metro."
"Want a ride back?"
"Sure, thanks," Mulder said, getting into her car
"So you do you live in Alexandria?"
"Yeah, I live in the Towers."  
Scully smiled and shook her head. "You've lived across the street
from me all this time and I never knew?" 
Mulder blushed and nodded.
"Well, we'll fix that."


Scully's place


"Come on in. I have to get out of these shoes, they're killing me."
"They're pretty."
"But they hurt like hell."  She felt his eyes on her and turned to face
him. His eyes burned with desire and Scully leaned up and kissed
him
softly on the lips. The dam broke and Mulder kissed her back
hungrily, feeding on her lips, his hands exploring her wildly.  Scully
started moving them to her bedroom and closed the door.  She
unbuttoned his shirt quickly, while he kissed and nibbled on her
neck. He helped her push it off and undid his pants pushing them and
his boxers off.  He stood before her naked, searching her eyes for
rejection; he found none.  He pulled her to him again and attacked
her mouth, inserting his tongue, acquainting himself with the
intimate taste of her.  He unzipped her dress and it pooled around
her ankles.  Nothing underneath? There was nothing underneath?
"Didn't want my panty lines to show," she explained.  
Mulder smiled and kissed her right between her breasts, licking,
kissing and suckling, working his way over to one of her coral
nipples and
taking it into his mouth and stimulating it till it was hard and erect
then moving to the other one and doing the same thing.  He tenderly
pushed her on the bed and climbed over top of her, he let his fingers
trace lightly over her entire body.  Scully writhed with pleasure
under
his hands.
"Wait! Condom."  Scully said reaching into her night stand and
grabbing one for him to put on.  He unwrapped it and put it on and
caressed her from her stomach to her lips with his tongue.  He was
painfully hard and laid his silky steel member at her entrance.
"I love you Dana."  He said as he entered her cautiously.  He
stopped
when he was buried fully inside her so she could adjust, then started
to thrust into her gently.
"Harder Mulder, I won't break."  Mulder tensed slightly and she
rubbed his arms and back in comforting little circles, placing sweet
kisses on his chest till he relaxed again.  He thrust into her harder,
her head smacked the back of the headboard and she sat up a little. 
He moved with her, pinning her against the headboard, bracing
himself against the wall as he thrust into her.  He changed angles a
little and rose to a half-standing position, his hands held her hips
down on him as he slammed into her, his head resting against her
chest.  She ran her fingers through his sweat soaked hair, holding on
to him tightly as they both found release together.  Mulder collapsed
against her pinning her to the headboard then he slid down to a
sitting position and fell on his
back bringing her with him.  He fell asleep instantly.  Scully looked
at
his slumbering face and smiled, kissing him on the lips softly and
parting from him to pull a  blanket over them.  She felt like she had
returned home, this is where she belonged as she snuggled into his
chest.  And there is no place like home.



9:30 am



Mulder walked to his desk quickly and hoped no one noticed he was
late, or the hickey that was barely covered by his shirt collar.  He
took a sigh of relief when no one seemed to notice and started to
work, when he felt a group of people in front of his desk.  He looked
up to see Agents Kevins, Dudley and Jeffers in front of him.
"Hi"
"Hello there, so what was it like?"
"Huh?"
"The ice queen when she melted."
"I don't know what you're . . ."
"Oh please, we got you two on tape last night.  You two were
going at it like dogs in heat.  So was it good, bad, mind blowing, it
looked mind blowing."
"You taped us last night?"
"Right here."  Kevins said tapping the tape on Mulder's desk.
"What makes you think I'm going to tell you anything?"
"Well it's a known fact that Patterson has a thing for Doc Ice.  If he
knew his ace fly boy bagged her, well lets just say you probably
won't
be his ace fly boy long."
"Let's give him some time to think about it, he's probably suffering
from a love hangover."  They smiled at him and went back to there
desks.  Mulder flushed; his hands started getting sweaty, and his
pulse raced.  Oh god! This isn't good.  His phone rang and he
jumped.
"Mulder."
"Hi, it's me how are you?"
"Fine, how are you."
"A little sore, you really gave me a work out last night."
"Well you were the one who wanted it harder."  Scully laughed
"What are you doing for lunch?"
"I have to work through lunch."
"Fine, dinner my place 7:30 tonight ok?"
"Yeah sure that'll be great bye."  Mulder hung up quickly, he needed
to tell Patterson, get it off his chest first, then decide what to do
about the videotape.  Mulder got up and walked slowly towards
Patterson's office
"Oh Mulder hey, just the man I wanted to see."  Patterson said
coming out of the office, "Come on in sit down."  He closed the
door
behind him.
"Look this is more personal than any case your working on, but you
and Agent Scully seemed to be getting close last night.  I just
wanted to let you know that I'm very interested in her so if you
could
maybe back off I could . . . well I just don't want you two getting
too
close."  Months too late for that sir, Mulder thought
"Yes sir."
"Good."
"Sir . . .uh . . . never mind."
"Ok Agent well get back to work."  Mulder walked out and sat at
his desk and put his head in his hands.
"I don't believe this."  He said quietly to himself
"Believe it freak."  Kevins said tapping the tape on his desk.
"So?"
"Is that the only copy? No deal if it's not.  I want all copies."
"You are a smart cookie, this is the only one."
"Alright you get one question that's it, choose carefully."
"What was it like?"
"Great.  Ok that's it."
"What . . . Dang it Stupid . . ." The other agents scolded as they
walked away.  Mulder locked the tape in his briefcase and started
working.


Dinner 7:30  


Mulder fidgeted nervously playing with his tie when Scully opened
the door.  How can he still be so shy with me after last night?  He
came in and handed her two roses and smiled
"Thank you Mulder."
"Your welcome, we need to talk." Scully didn't like the sound of
that, but nodded 
"Well we can talk over dinner."  Mulder sat down at the table a bowl
of pasta steaming before him
"I hope you like the Alfredo sauce, it's my first attempt at it." 
Mulder tasted it; it was wonderful.
"It's good thanks."
"So what do we need . . ."
"I really hate to do this but, we need to keep our relationship
under wraps and you need to keep your shades down when I spend
the night."
"Huh? Why?"
"Some agents at work, they videotaped us last night, then tried to
blackmail me into telling them all about it.  But the big thing is,
Patterson called me into his office and said he didn't want us to get
too close cause he was interested in you." Scully absorbed all the
info, then smiled
"But I'm not interested in him.  I'm free to pursue anyone I want. 
What's the big deal?"
"He's my boss, he likes me yeah, but this could put a damper on
those affections if he knew."
"You think he'll get you fired?"
"No but make my life in VCS more of a living hell than it already is. 
And he definitely won't push my transfer papers through."
"Transfer papers?"
"I've been trying for weeks to transfer down to Quantico, they have
a position open in there behavioral science unit.  It'll be less stressful
for me."
"Ok, so we can't go public about our relationship above the VA line,
but there is no way I'm sneaking around down here."
"I hate this Dana.  I've wanted this so long and now I can't enjoy it
like I wanted to.  Do you know I dreamed of having you meet me
for
lunch, the other guys staring in awe as you walked over to my desk,
giving me a big kiss right there."  Scully laughed softly
"You're easy to please, aren't you?"
"I couldn't stop thinking about you today Dana.  It got even worse
after you called.  I kept seeing you everywhere."
"Guess you need a picture of me for your desk, oh wait never mind"
Mulder sighed 
"Do you have a picture I can have Mulder? I have to show you off." 
Mulder smiled slightly and answered
"I don't take many pictures, I don't like the way I look."
"I do.  We'll go get some professionally taken.  I'll send one to my
mom, she'll love you.  We'll go by JcPenney's on Saturday." 
"How about Olan Mills instead, my treat since I'm putting all these
stipulations on our relationship." He smiled and reached across the
table for her hand, squeezing it lightly as they continued eating. 



5 weeks later



" Scully"
"Hey honey, I just got the pictures you sent.  My he is handsome."
"Thanks mom."
"You two going to come up for Valentines Day?  I'll set up a nice
restaurant reservation or something, my treat?"
"I'll see what Mulder thinks, hold on mom another call is beeping
in." 
Scully clicked over
"Scully"
"Hey baby."
"Mulder hey just thinking about you, I have mom on the other line. 
Where are you? On your way our way?"
"Nope I just called to cancel dinner plans for tonight, I'm sorry."
"No problem, call me when you do get in Mom has some plans for
Valentines for us."
" Ok call you later bye."  Mulder hung up and put his cellphone in
his
coat pocket.  Reggie looked at him amused.
"What?"
"What? What? If I'm not mistaken, that sounded like a girlfriend
Mulder."  Mulder fidgeted slightly
"It was! All right Mulder! What's her name, is she cute?"
"I can't tell you Reggie."
"Why not?"
"It's complicated."
"What? She married?"
"No" Mulder said with a chuckle
"Then what?"
"Reggie you promise not to tell anyone.  This goes no farther than
Gini."
"Yeah I promise Mulder what's up? Who's the girl?"
"Dana Scully."
"The Ice Queen? You're dating the Ice Queen? Awesome man!" 
Reggie said smiling broadly slapping Mulder in his chest.  Mulder
blushed.
"So what's the big deal?"
"It's Patterson, he told me not to get too close to Dana cause he was
interested."
"Well, did you?"  Mulder blushed and fidgeted nervously again.
"Oh Wow! Man, Mulder what was that like?!  Details.  Not only are
you dating her, your sleeping with her? Regularly?"
"Reggie I rather not . . ."
"Oh come on that part won't leave this car. So regularly?"
"Yeah pretty regularly.  It's hard to describe.  You see, don't laugh
or
anything, I've been sending her these anonymous love letters for
months."
"Love letters?"
"Yeah and well I never thought she was taking them seriously, but
she was and well after the awards ball one thing lead to another and
well . . ."
"So you started screwing her after the ball?"
"I made love to her yes, I do not screw."  Reggie chuckled
"I should have known you were getting some on a regular basis,
you seem more sure of yourself."
"Yeah she's amazing.  She's so . . .never mind."
"No continue.  You have to listen to me gush over Gini, it's payback
time."  Mulder smiled
"She loves me for me, not cause of how I look or how I can help her
career.  She doesn't care what other people say, she's so strong and
beautiful, she's my own personal angel.  When I wake up next to her,
I
feel blessed like I wasn't supposed to be there, but I am."
"Wow geez man, you're making me blush.  Sounds like you have a
bad case of love there."
"Oh definitely, I'm totally in love with her."  Reggie smiled at his
partner, who was looking out the window grinning to himself.
"Gini was worried about you, she thought for a while you maybe
gay or something.  She'll be happy to hear this."
"No further . . ."
"I know.  Patterson would make your life a nightmare if he knew."


Valentines Day Baltimore, Scully's Mom's place



Mulder smoothed his sweater again and fidgeted
"You look fine Mulder, Mom's going to love you."
"What about your dad?"
"He's at sea, he'll meet you when I bring you for the Memorial Day
cookout."  Mulder pulled up in front of her mom's house and leaned
over, pulling Scully into kiss.
"You'll be fine Mulder, pop the trunk."  Mulder nodded, popping
the trunk and grabbing the bags out of it.  Mrs. Scully opened the
door
and smiled
"Dana, I missed you baby girl."
"Missed you too mom.  Mom, this is Fox Mulder."
"Nice to meet you finally.  I've heard so much about you."
"Same here Mrs. Scully" Mulder said quietly
"Oh he is a quiet one isn't he? We'll change that; come in let me
show you to your room."  Mrs. Scully said walking into the house
and up the stairs
"You two can stay in Dana's old room, she was the smallest, but had
the biggest bed."  
"Mom are you sure?"  Scully asked as Mulder went into her old
room and looked around.
"Of course sweetie.  I'm not blind, I know you two have had sex
already, it's Valentines Day sweet heart.  Now I have reservations
for
us at the Templars, then I'll disappear for a few hours."  


After Dinner



Scully walked through the front door only to be pulled into a
passionate kiss.  Mulder closed the door silently and picked Scully
up
and carried her up to their room.  A few moments later, moans,
creaking bed springs and a rhythmic tapping came floating down the
stairs.  Mrs. Scully sat in the kitchen and smiled to herself.  They
waste no time do they? She thought as she sipped her hot chocolate.


3 am


Mulder unwound himself from Scully and went downstairs.
"Can't sleep?"  Mrs. Scully said, Mulder jumped then calmed and
nodded yes.
"I know the feeling, want some hot chocolate? It usually helps me." 
Mulder nodded again and she filled another mug full and handed it
to him.
"Of course I'm not used to having two lovebirds in the house." 
Mulder blushed slightly
"I'm sorry I . . . we haven't . . . I've been having to work late."
"It's perfectly okay sweetheart.  I don't mind, it's a good sound.  I
haven't heard it in Dana's case for a long time."
"A lot of guys are intimidated by her."
"But you weren't?"
"No ma'am."
"Your too polite Fox, just call me Maggie."
"Yes Ma'am."  Mrs. Scully chuckled
"Fox, I just want to know what are your intentions with my
daughter?"
"I want to marry her eventually.  I'm in love with her Mrs. Scully."
"Maggie."
"Maggie, I'm not complete without her."



3 weeks later



"Judy wait a sec, I need to get some cash."  Maggie Scully said
stopping at an ATM.  She put her cash and ATM card in her wallet,
turning she saw his familiar frame out of the corner of her eye.  She
could easily pick him out of the group of FBI agents exiting a car at
the end of the street.
"Oh there's my daughters boyfriend Fox.  Fox!"  She said waving at
him.  Mulder heard his name and turned to see Mrs. Scully waving at
him.  Oh no! Is she going into the bank?  The UNSUB is in there.
"Mulder, are you sure it's this bank?"
"Yeah positive, Hold on."  Mulder waved for Mrs. Scully to come
over.
"Fox how are you? Long time no see."
"Thank you Maggie, um I can't talk right now but you need to stay
as far away from that bank as possible right now okay?"
"Yes ma'am, a known serial killer is in there right now.  We're going
in to get him."  Reggie added
"Oh my I'm sorry, Come on Judy.  Talk with you later Fox."
"Yes ma'am."
"Who was that Spooky?" Davidson asked amused
"My girlfriends mother, Ok lets go."  Mulder said cocking his gun.
"Spooky has a girl friend?  What next, aliens taking over the planet?" 
Davidson muttered to himself as they made their way to the front of
the bank.
"See him, the guy in the red jacket that's him."
"Ok lets get him."  Reggie said charging in.
"Reggie No! He's probably armed!"  Mulder said, too late
"FBI Freeze!"  The Killer looked up and pulled his weapon and
started to shoot.
"Get down."  Mulder said pulling off a few rounds before ducking
out of the way.  A bullet hit Reggie in the leg and Davidson in the
shoulder. They went down and Mulder ran out after the UNSUB. 
The
killer looked at Mulder and smiled.
"So you're Fox Mulder?  Just the guy I wanted to kill."  Reggie
crawled to the door, got to get to Mulder, he keep thinking when he
saw Mulder aim.
"Oh my god is that Fox? What in the world?"  Mrs. Scully said
watching the scene unfold from across the street.  Mulder pulled the
trigger at the same time as the killer did, his bullet hit home, right
between the man's eyes, but the killers also hit it's mark.  He got off
three shots which hit Mulder full in the chest, sending him toppling
to
the ground with a groan.
"Mulder!!!" Reggie screamed as he scrambled to his feet and limped
out to him.  A pool of blood was growing on the ground under him
and he was making shocked, choking sounds, blood coming out of
his
mouth.
"Oh shoot!"  Reggie said as he pulled out his cellphone and dialed
for paramedics.
"Come on buddy stay with me Mulder."  Mulder looked at him, his
hazel eyes full of fear.
"Did I get him Reggie?" He choked out, flecks of blood spewing out
as he talked
"Yeah you got him good, right between the eyes."  Mulder smiled
"Oh my god Fox!"
"Ma'am please stand back, don't crowd him."  Mrs. Scully ignored
Reggie and knelt beside him
"Fox, hang on son.  Do you want me to call Dana honey?"  Mulder
nodded yes and coughed up some more blood.
"Dang it where are those paramedics?!"  As if they heard Reggie,
the ambulance pulled up and started to work on Mulder.



GUMC Next day 9 p.m.



Scully walked into his room, it had taken 3 different flights to get
here, she hoped no one else was there, especially Patterson.  She
looked around quickly and pulled up a chair next to Mulder's bed
and clasped his hand tenderly.  He was doing great especially in light
of his injuries, they expected to release him the beginning of next
week.
"Mulder? Hey it's me.  I came as soon as I could."  Mulder turned
his head and looked at her, smiling a little.
"Want some water?"  Mulder nodded and she gave him a sip.  He
exhaled heavily and winced.
"I know, it's hard to get a flight out of San Antonio that quickly.
Good thing though you missed Patterson."  Scully smiled and petted
his hair lightly, he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. 
Patterson came down the hall to check on Mulder to make sure he
was comfortable before he left, when he saw her in with him. 
Patterson confused, watched them talking, then she leaned down and
kissed him tenderly on the lips.  Patterson was about to shake it off
as a friendly kiss till Mulder's hand came around to her neck, pulling
her deeper into the kiss, caressing her hair gently.  He slanted his
mouth under hers and inserted his tongue, tasting her.  Patterson
looked away disgusted, hurt, jealous and angry.  I told him to back
off, I told him not to pursue her, but he does anyway.  Well she's not
resisting, so it's obviously a mutual attraction.  Scully pulled away
and ran her fingers down his cheek lightly, smiling at him.
"I love you."  She said to him, he smiled back and responded
"I love you too."  Patterson couldn't watch anymore and turned
down the hall.  I don't believe he could do this to me, I trusted him.
"I think I should stay Mulder."
"No I'm fine, they have your number, your cellphone number, your
mom's number if I or they need you, we'll call.  Go on get some
sleep. I
know you need it."
"Ok I'll be back tomorrow okay?"
"Night, Love you Dana."
"Love you too Mulder."  She kissed him again and reluctantly let
go of his hand.




12 weeks later


"Hey there he is!  Bulls eye Spooky."
"Great shot right between the eyes."
"Yeah but next time duck okay?"  Mulder smiled as he sat at his
desk
when he got a call.
"Agent Mulder, Patterson.  In my office Now!!"  Mulder got up
and walked into Patterson's office.
"Sit Down!"  Mulder sat and looked at him innocently.
"You disobeyed a direct order from me about the UNSUB and got
yourself and 2 other agents injured.  You're suspended without pay
till a review board can look over this matter."
"What?!"
"You heard me agent."
"What direct order?  I was under the impression that we were under
no jurisdiction, that we didn't need an order to strike."
"Well you were wrong.  Good day Agent Mulder."
"But . . ."
"Good day!"  Mulder rose slowly, a little shaky.
"Oh and tell Agent Scully Hi for me."  Mulder turned quickly to
face him.
"Is this what this bogus insubordination charge is about?" 
Patterson stayed silent.
"Dana Scully and I had been involved with each other for months
before you told me.  I couldn't break it off with her.  I didn't then
and I will not do it now!"
"Well then you do have a problem, especially with your past
insubordination on file, you don't stand a chance during the OPR
hearing.  Good Day Agent Mulder."










Mulder laid on Dana's bed and thought.  This was bad, really bad. 
How did he find out?  Will OPR really discipline me?  If they don't,
what about Patterson?  He'll make my life hell.
"Mulder?  Mulder?"
"Yeah?"
"Hey sweetie, how you feel?"
"Awful."
"You're in pain aren't you?  I knew you shouldn't have went to work
today."
"That's for sure.  I've been suspended without pay for
insubordination."
"What?!"
"Patterson says I didn't clear the bank raid with him.  We didn't
have to, plus I wasn't in charge.  He's just getting back at me cause
he
knows about us."
"How?"
"I don't know, I think he must have seen you with me at the hospital
or something."
"So what are you going to do?"
" Wait till the OPR hearing then when I'm cleared, hopefully my
transfer to Quantico will go through, doubt it though."  Mulder said
reaching for Scully.  Scully snuggled next to him. 
"We can't have fear rule our lives, so want to go out for dinner
tonight?  It'll cheer you up."  Mulder nodded and got up.



3 days later


Reggie met him outside the OPR conference room.  
"So what they say?"
"I'm not insubordinate, but I'm not going to Quantico either."
"Man, here comes the orange jumpsuit assignments."  Mulder
smiled and sat at his desk.  Paper hearts? He thought as he looked at
the file.  He gasped, burying his head in his hands.
"I don't believe this!"
"What?"
"He's giving me a child killer case, god! He's trying to drive me
nuts!"
"Is that the only case he gave you?"
"No," Mulder said looking through them all.  All of them were child
killers, molesters and kidnappers.  No, anything but this!
"So what's the big deal?"
"Read my file Reggie! You'll see what the deal is!  I need some air,
excuse me."  Reggie watched him as he left.  He was shaking,
visibly unsettled all cause of some kid killers?  

Reggie smiled as he opened the door to personnel
"Hey Mari, can you do me a favor and pull up a copy of Fox
Mulder's personnel file please."
"Sure why?"
"He asked me to look at it, he's freaked about some case he got."
"Child killers or molesters?  Man, Patterson has a wish to fill out
Workman's comp forms for Mulder's psyche visits doesn't he?"
"Huh?"
"Here it is the other reason he's called Spooky Mulder.  His sister
was abducted when he was 12, never found her.  He was in the
room and saw the whole thing, went into catatonic shock for 6
months.  Anyway second case here, child killer, did a dead on profile
that sent him into a nervous breakdown, three months in a
psychiatric hospital.  Happens when ever he has a child killer or
molester or kidnapper case, stems from his own past abuse as a
child, and his sisters abduction.  Watch him Reggie." 
"I will thanks Mari."



3 weeks later


"Mulder? Hey man?  Mulder?"  Reggie said seeing the light still on. 
Mulder was asleep his head cushioned by a file, his arms sprawled
across the desk.  Reggie touched his shoulder lightly
"Mulder?"
"No! Stop please I'm sorry!"  Mulder said waking up and ducking
for cover.
"Mulder, it's me Reggie.  I'm not going to hurt you.  It's after 10
p.m.  You need to go home."  Mulder looked at him blankly then
recognition returned to his eyes and he collapsed into a little ball,
starting to sob hysterically.  Reggie went to him and pulled him to
him
"It's ok man, this is our last one.  You don't have to worry about it
after this case.  Come on Mulder, pull it together. Just one more"
Mulder looked up at Reggie with lost eyes and nodded.
"How far have you gotten?"  Reggie said looking at the notes
scribbled on Mulder's legal pad.
"Wow this is almost done."
"Yeah let me finish it so I can get out of here."  Mulder said
grabbing a pen and finishing the profile quickly.
"I'll drive you Mulder, you're in no condition to ride the metro." 
Mulder nodded and put on his coat.  Patterson watched the agents
leave and smiled.  One more and Agent Mulder will definitely break,
lets make it a good one.  Perfect, the traveling ripper case, he
thought as he placed the file on Mulder's desk


3 days later


Mulder looked at the crime scene photos.  The kids were raped,
skinned and hung out to dry like meat at the meat market.  Mulder
couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, the images haunted him, plagued him
whenever he closed his eyes.  His stomach heaved and he puked all
over his desk and collapsed on the floor.
"God Dang it! Get an ambulance quick!"   Patterson looked out of
his office window and smiled.  Goodbye agent Mulder, he thought
as the young man was carried out.


Psyche ward


Scully walked fast down the hall
"Agent Fox Mulder's room?"
"He's in isolation. No visitors"
"What?!"
"He attacked two nurses, then tried to throw himself out a window. 
He's on 24 hour suicide watch and is restrained and sedated."
"Can I speak with his doctor then?"
"Who are you?"
"I am Dr. Dana Scully.  I'm listed as his next of kin and I am his
power of attorney.  Now can I speak with his doctor?"
"Yes ma'am right away."  Scully exhaled heavily trying to collect
herself, calm, professional, become the ice queen.  Mulder needs you
to stay strong.
"DANA! DANA! NO! I WANT NO!  I WANT DANA!!!!"  She
heard screamed in a decidedly Mulder voice.  Piercing screams
followed and the doctor came out in a rush. 
"Dr. Scully, sorry to keep you waiting he's in a state."
"Yes I hear.  What happened?"
"He had a reaction to a series of cases he's been given at work and
finally snapped.  He wants you in there, but I don't think it's safe."
"I'll decided what's safe or not, have you been able to sedate him and
keep him restrained?"
"Not for long.  He's a regular Houdini.  I don't want to, but I'll either
have to move him to a padded cell or put him in a five point restraint
system."
"Padded cell.  I'll get him calm.  He's too agitated to do anything
with Dr. . ."
"Marvins.  Eric Marvins."
"Dr. Marvins unlock the door."  Dr. Marvins hesitated till Scully
gave him the death stare and he unlocked it, quickly locking it
behind
her.
"Mulder?"
"Dana? Dana?"
"Yes it's me, come here baby."  Mulder ran to her and hugged her
hard, then started to cry.  Scully sat on the bed and he snuggled into
her, his head cradled on her chest.
"Save me.  Save me Dana."  He whispered to her hugging her
tighter.
"I'll try Mulder. I'll try."


When she had finally gotten him calm, Scully left him and pulled his
doctor aside.
"Do you know the nature of the cases he was working?"
"Ah yes, child killers and molesters, the one he was working on
when
he snapped was a serial child rapist who skinned his victims alive. 
Can we move him now?"
"Yes go ahead.  I have some thing to take care of first."  Scully
stormed out of the psyche ward almost running over Reggie and his
wife on the way out 
"Just the person I wanted to see."
"Hi Dana, how is he?"
"You knew what those cases would do to him why? Why did you . .
."
"Those were the only cases Patterson would give him, I tried.  I
thought I could keep him under wraps till they were done.  I didn't
know Dana."  Scully nodded
"Your probably right.  Patterson, I am really sick of him.  Hmm
wait a minute, I have an idea on how to get him back, perfect"


OPR

"Why was I called in here, out of the field?" Paterson asked angrily
"Did you purposely give Special Agent Mulder child killer cases?"
"Yes"
"Are you aware that he is under strict orders from a psychotherapist
not to profile such cases?"
"Yes."
"But you forced him to do them, why?"
"As punishment for . . ."
"He was cleared of insubordination charges by this review board,
why did you feel it necessary to take matters into you own hands?" 
Patterson stayed silent, closing his eyes as his career slipped out of
his grasp.




"He's going to require intense psychotherapy to overcome this and
lots of support Dr. Scully."
"I know, I know.  I can't let him down, he would do the same for
me."  Scully said watching him repeatedly smash his head against the
padded cell wall.
"He has very serious past abuse issues that still need to be resolved,
its going to be a long recovery for him.  I think you need to be
aware of the deep psychosis your dealing with here so I found his
old
therapy transcripts as his power of attorney you have a right to read
them, please do."  Scully nodded and took the files from his hand.
"I'll be at my mother's number if you need me Dr. Marvins."


Scully's mom's house.


Scully pulled out the first file and started reading
"What did your dad use to do when he got drunk or angry?"
"He'd come up to my room and drag me out of bed by my hair. 
He'd start punching and kicking me till I stopped screaming and
squirming then he'd . . .he'd . . . I can't."
"Mulder, Fox . . ."
"Don't call me Fox!"
"Why not?"
"He'd call me that when he did it.  He'd call me a queer faggot and
he'd . . . he'd have sex with me then he'd make it worse and make me
come and he wouldn't stop till I did.  Then he'd beat me again
because
I came."
"What did your mom do during all of this?"
"She'd watched, even hold me down if I managed to get away." 
God
what kind of a mom would do that! Watch her son get beaten and
raped by his own father!  Scully put the file down and started to cry.
"Honey you okay?"
"No mom."  Scully said crumpling into her mom's arms.  Mrs. Scully
picked up the file she had been reading and read a few sentences
only
to throw it down quickly.
"My god! Who could do such a thing to . . . to there own child! No
wonder he's so quiet and withdrawn."
"There's more mom, I can't finish mom.  I can't."
"You have to for Fox's sake, sweetheart."  Scully looked at her mom
and nodded, reaching for the next file.
"I was a junior at Oxford when I met Phoebe.  She was beautiful and
smart and she seemed to love me.  I was naive, at first it was great
then she started to tell me things, make me doubt myself.  Soon I
only did what she told me.  When she started to hit me I thought I
deserved it, then she left me and I couldn't understand why.  I
snapped and they put me in a mental institution where they did
electroshock therapy on me.  When I came back, I found out Phoebe
had used me as the subject of her senior thesis on the affect of abuse
on a person's psyche."  Used by his girlfriend, what else?
"I got out of the academy and I met another profiler, her name was
Diana Fowley.  She was beautiful, I was immediately taken with her,
which was my big mistake.   Since I was on the fast track she
decided
to grab me and hang on for the ride, some how we got engaged and
I
think was happy till she started to beat me.  It was kinda of my fault,
I wasn't climbing the ladder fast enough to her liking.  I left her after
she hit me with her car and beat me almost to death with a baseball
bat."  Scully closed the file, no more I refuse to read anymore.  Her
mother held her tightly and they cried quietly for Mulder, and for the
loss of innocence and trust.


Psyche ward


"How is he?"
"Well he stopped beating his head against the wall." Scully smiled
"Well be thankful for little things."  The doctor laughed, then turned
serious.
"He tried to attacked the therapist and broke a nurse's nose.  I don't
know what to do Dr. Scully.  He's almost impossible to control.
Have you read his files?"
"Yes, they were enlightening, maybe . . .maybe I need to stay with
him."
"In his cell?"
"Yes, I seem to be the only way to control him.  He's reacting
violently because he's defending himself, his mind has snapped back
to his past abuse.  I seem to be the only thing keeping him in the
present."
"I don't know.  I don't think it's safe . . ."
"What did I say before, I will decide what's safe or not."
"Fine.  I'll get sleeping arrangements made up for you.  After 8 p.m.
no one comes by to check on these patients till 7 the next morning. 
There is no light, you will be completely alone, and in complete
darkness with a certifiably crazy man."
"I think the PC term is mentally unstable and I'll be fine.  Mulder
would never hurt me."


8 p.m.


The doctor closed and locked the door behind Scully and gave her a
concerned look then walked away, shutting off the hallway lights
and the rooms lights.  The room became pitch black in an instant. 
Scully waited till her eyes adjusted and went to her cot.  Mulder
watched her from a corner.  When she got comfortable under the
blanket, he went over to her.  He touched her hair lightly and kissed
her gently.
"Dana? I love you Dana."
"I love you too Mulder.  Your cold, come on under the covers."
"I want you Dana."
"Mulder not here, but you can sleep with me, just sleep up here
okay?" 
Mulder climbed in next to her and held her to him.  His rock hard
erection stabbed her in the thigh as he pulled her closer to him. 
Scully sighed, she really missed him, but he is so wired, and unstable
he doesn't know what he wants, how to control himself.



The next morning


His regular nurse Karen, slowly walked into Mulder's room.  Last
time he was lurking around and rushed her and almost got out of the
door.  Today he was no where to be found.
"Agent Mulder?"  She said quietly, the fear evident in her voice.  A
slight whimper made Karen turn her head towards where Dr. Scully
was sleeping, maybe she knew where he is hiding.
"Dr. Scully?  Karen said gently pulling the blanket from covering her
head to find Mulder contentedly sleeping, a bundle of red hair
clutched to his chest which turned out to be Dr. Scully.
"WOW!"  Karen whispered, she'd never seen him sleep, she hated to
wake him.
"Agent Mulder Hi, I need to get your vitals and get you cleaned up." 
Mulder groaned and pulled Scully closer to him, his hand caressing
her hair as he placed a gentle kiss in it.  Karen smiled and went to
get
the doctor.
"You have to see this Dr. Marvins, he's asleep and he has her
clutched to his chest, its so sweet."
"He's asleep?"  He said walking in seeing the scene.
"Hmmp she was right.  Oh well wake him up.  Agent Mulder!" 
Mulder opened his eyes quickly and looked in the direction of the
voice.  Dr. Marvins waved at him and Mulder groaned
"Not you again.  It's too early in the morning for me to deal with
you."
"And hello to you too Agent Mulder.  Go ahead Karen."  Karen
came
over tentatively and Mulder reluctantly let go of Scully and sat on
the
edge of the cot.  Scully grabbed the excess covers and snuggled into 
them.  Mulder smiled at her and brushed some hairs out of her face
and turned back to Karen.
"Alright, do you think you can brush your teeth without trying to kill
yourself today?"  Mulder nodded and she handed him the toothbrush
and paste.
"Ok we're going to take you to the shower please don't give us a
fight like you did yesterday."  Mulder nodded and looked off past
her.  Karen motioned for the orderlies to come in and chain him and
they lead him off to the shower.  Scully was still asleep when Mulder
was brought back in.
"He didn't give us a fuss until we tried to shave him."
"That's fine let him go."  They unchained him and scattered, Mulder
looked at them strangely and walked back over to where Scully was
and sat beside her cot, watching her sleep.
"Wow, that is truly amazing.  We needed her here 2 days ago and
maybe Tim's nose wouldn't be broken now."  Dr. Marvins left to get
his assigned therapist.
"Alright Dan, he's extraordinarily calm today, hopefully there's no
repeat of yesterday."
"Me too, I'm too old to have to run that fast."  Dan walked in and
looked around for him, expecting him to be slamming himself against
the wall.
"He's over by the cot."  Dr. Marvins pointed out.  Dan looked and
double blinked when he saw him sitting quietly, his head leaned
against
the bedding, looking at something with open adoration.  Dan
stepped
closer and sat down on the floor next to him.
"Hey Mulder."
"Hi" he said almost inaudibly
"How are you today?"
"Great."
"Really why?"
"She's here."
"Who is she?"
"Dana."
"Dana . . ."
"Dr. Dana Scully."  Mulder said with an irritated tone to his voice.  
"Oh sorry."  Mulder sighed again and shifted, pushing his head into
Scully's hand.  She unconsciously started playing with his hair and he
smiled.
"She's my girlfriend, she's going to be my fiancee soon, but she
doesn't know it yet."
"Oh, have you two dated long?"
"6 months"
"6 months."  Dan repeated writing it down.
"Yes 6 months what of it!"  Mulder growled angrily, Dan was
slightly taken a back by the sudden mood change.
"You think she's too good for me too, don't you?"
"No Mulder I don't, who thinks that?"
"Every one does."
"You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, who . . ."
"Quiet, you'll wake her up."  
"Mulder we need to discuss what happened that day, why the case
affected you so."
"Read my file and leave me alone."
"Mulder I have read your file.   After your sister's abduction, your
father would beat you viciously and rape you.  Your mom watched,
everyone you loved since then has betrayed and hurt you.  You've
been shy and withdrawn for years."
"Till the last few months."
"Ok fine, but you've taken a step back.  Why won't you talk to me?"
"Cause I don't trust you."  Dan quickly wrote down trust issues.
"Go ahead and write betrayal, abandonment and self esteem issues 
and other symptoms denoting social anxiety disorder!!"  Mulder
yelled at him.  Dan wrote down anger management problems and
Mulder roared in rage, ripping the notepad out of his hand and
pinning
him against the wall.
"Mulder?"  Mulder looked back and saw Scully looking at him
confused.
"See what you made me do."  Mulder said dropping Dan and
moving back over to Scully.
"I'm sorry I woke you."
"It's okay, what time is it."
"8:30"
"Kinda early to be smashing heads Mulder.  Have you eaten?"
"No."
"Well your foods here go eat it.  I'm going to clean up and change. 
You had better be finished eating by the time I come back."  Mulder
nodded and walked over and started eating.


Scully came back in and saw Mulder balled up in the corner crying,
Dan was urgently trying to get him to tell him what was wrong.
"You're not asking him right."  Scully said softly as she kneeled and
took Mulder's head between her hands, lightly rubbing his temples
with her thumbs.
"Mulder, what's wrong?" She said in a cool, even voice.
"I'm crazy and messed up and I'll never be able to work with the FBI
again.  Everyone knows I'm nuts and no one will want to work with
me and you'll get tired of me and leave."
"You know that's not true Mulder.  You know that.  I'm here right
now and I will always be here ok? Now why don't you talk with
Dan, maybe he can help?"
"No I don't want to."
"You're going to have to talk with him sooner or later or you'll never
get out of here.  You do want to go home don't you?" 
Mulder nodded
"Here wipe your eyes sweetie and talk with Dan for a few minutes. 
I'm going to get something to eat.  I'll be back."  Mulder watched
her
leave and turned to Dan, staring at him intensely.
"What do you want to know?"

2 weeks later

"He's stable enough to move back to a regular isolation room." 
Dan said to Dr. Marvins
"And don't restrain him, just gets him mad."  Mulder walked down
the
wall to his new room and sat on the bed.  He watched the nurses
bustle around, then they smiled at him and left.  Where's Dana?  He
thought.  Where's she going to sleep?  With me?  Mulder smiled and
placed his hand on his growing erection and started to stroke it only
to stop quickly.  Dan told me not to do that.  Mulder sighed, he felt
like a married prisoner with no conjugal visits.  I have to get out of
here.  Mulder looked at the time, 10 am where is Scully she should
be
here by now.  Karen came in and smiled at him.  He's calmed a lot,
he's so shy it's amazing.
"Karen?"  Mulder asked softly
"Yes Agent Mulder?"
"Where's Dana?"
"Dr. Scully? I don't know, last time I saw her she was talking with
Dr.
Marvins."
"Can you find her for me please?"
"Sure sweetie I have a few things to do then I'll see where she is
ok?"
Mulder nodded, and looked out of the window and smiled.
"You have a good view Agent Mulder, want me to open the blinds?"
Mulder nodded and Karen opened the blinds.  She turned back to
see
Mulder, his head buried in his hands crying softly.
"Mulder are you alright? What's wrong honey?" Karen said reaching
out to ruffle his hair, Mulder jerked back and growled
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"  Karen shrank back and started slowly
backing out of the room.
"I'm sorry Karen, just don't touch my hair.  I'm . . .I'm sorry." 
Mulder said quietly.
"Ok sweetie, I'll be back soon okay."  Mulder nodded and Karen let
out a sigh of relief as she started her rounds.

3 p.m.


Mulder paced his room. She's not coming, she's not coming, she's
left
me.  I don't believe this, she's betrayed me too.   Scully came
through the ward door, her arms full of stuff and came into Mulder's
room.
"Hey sweetheart, you look tense what happened?"
"Where were you?" His voice was low and dangerous
"Well I went to your apartment got you some clothes, fed you fish,
cleaned up in there a bit, checked your messages, then I went to my
place checked on things and picked up your favorite from KFC,
Buffalo crispy strips.  Why, you miss me?" Mulder smiled
"What you thought I abandoned you Mulder?  I couldn't leave you
here all by yourself."  Mulder hugged her tightly kissed her hair,
ruffling it slightly.
"I was just kidding Mulder, did you really think that?"  Mulder
blushed
and bowed his head ashamed
"Mulder! Here put your clothes away."


Mulder sat quietly on the bed while Scully combed his hair.
"You really need a hair cut babe.  Nora cuts hair pretty good want
me
to have her come cut your hair tomorrow."  Mulder nodded and
reached for her. Scully kissed him tenderly on the lips and smiled at
him.
"Do you want me to bring you something to read? It's got to be
boring
just sitting waiting, thinking and talking with Dan."
"Not with you here."
"Well it's boring for me."
"Want me to write you some letters or something to read."
"That would be nice, I'm really starting to miss them.  Let me get
some paper and a pen."  Mulder stretched out across the bed and
closed his eyes till Scully came back it the room
"Here you go Lord Byron.  Can I have a strip?"
"Yeah can I get some iced tea?"
"Yep" She said sitting a Bottle of Lipton's iced tea on the table next
to his bed.
"I'll be back I have to get out and walk a bit, run some more errands. 
I'll be back before lights out."
"Ok have fun I love you."



5 p.m.


Mulder stopped and read over the last part of his poem.  He chewed
lightly on his pen as he thought of the next line.  
"Hey, whatcha got there?"  Karen said bringing in his dinner tray.
"A poem."
"Oh that's nice, can I read it?"
"No it's not finished yet."
"When your finished can I read it?"
"Sure you can tell me if it's good or not."
"Ok doll, here take your meds.  Oh Iced tea, you prefer that over
soda?  I'll make a note of that on your chart ok?"
"Thank you."
"Your most welcome honey, I'll let you get back to work."  Dan
looked in on him a few minutes later and saw him writing furiously. 
He pulled up a chair and tried to take his paper out of his hand to
read it.
"Back off!" Mulder growled
"Let me see what you're writing."
"No it's private."
"Nothings private here Mr. Mulder, hand it over."  Mulder ignored
him and continued writing.
"Mr. Mulder give me . . ."
"I thought I told you no, it's nothing like I'm going to kill you then
blow up the FBI building, it's private.  I really don't want you
reading it.  And stop calling my Mr. Mulder and Fox." 
"Mulder, you can not sit here writing furiously like that for hours on
end, after exhibiting you behaviors and expect me to not want to
read
what your writing now hand it over."  Mulder ignored him and
smiled
to himself.  He hit the nurse button.
"What do you need Honey?"
"I'm finished Karen."
"Ok I'll be right there."  Karen came through the door and Mulder
handed her the poem.  Karen sat on the end of the bed and read it.
"This is very good Mulder, never knew FBI Agents were this
eloquent
when they wrote."
"Only the Oxford educated ones."
"Really you went to Oxford?"  Dan said writing it down.
"You didn't thoroughly read my file did you Daniel?  A.B. in
Psychology.  That's why I know your tricks so well."  Then turning
to
Karen,
"Would it be too much Karen to ask for a calligraphy set? If you
have
one on the floor."
"I'll check, we probably do."
"What do you need a calligraphy set for?"  Dan asked
"To kill you with. I always do my final draft in calligraphy."
"Always? How many of those have you written?"
"A lot."  Mulder said smiling as Karen brought back the calligraphy
set
"Thank you Karen."  Karen nodded and left
"Now Agent Mulder . . ."
"I need to concentrate Dan excuse me."  Mulder said lightly chewing
his bottom lip with concentration.  Dan left in a huff and went over
to Karen.
"What was he writing?"
"Why?"
"Just tell me." Dan said in an irritated tone.
"It was a poem."
"A poem.  What kind of poem?"
"I don't . . ."
"Karen!"  Dan said angrily
"It was a love poem.  A very nicely written love poem.  I wish I was
the woman getting it."
"Oh."
"Dan can I make a suggestion?  Stop treating him like a stupid crazy
man off the street and treat him like the intelligent man he is.  He has
serious issues yes, but your too confrontational with him, he's just
going to withdraw.  He's too shy . . ."
"Thank you Karen, and when you get your psychology degree you
do
that.  I know what's best for my patients."  Dan said storming off
"Arrogant bastard."  Karen muttered, then she smiled when she saw
Scully.
"Dr. Scully, how are you this evening?"
"Fine thank you. How's he been?"
"Fine he's absorbed in writing you a poem."
"He has a natural talent for writing.  He used to write me . . . well he
still does.  He writes me these multi page love letters and poems.
That's kind of how we met."
"Really?"
"Yeah he started sending me these letters in the mail, no return
address and no name and when we finally did meet we just hit it off."
"Wow that's . . ."
""Oh Dr. Scully finally, we need to talk."  Dana interrupted.
"Sure Dan.  Talk with you later Karen."  She followed Dan towards
Mulder's room.
"He's been writing all afternoon and won't let me see it. I . . ."
"What he's writing is private, it's not a death threat Dan."
"Then why doesn't he want me to read it?"
"Private, do you know what that means?  He doesn't want you to
know his private thoughts and feelings.  He's a FBI agent, he doesn't
want to appear non-masculine.  This points right to his past sexual
abuse.  I mean it instead of talking about the newest Sig Sauer
model
he would rather discuss Poetry and music, feminine things.  He has
deep down issues with his sexuality as it is from his sexual abuse by
his father."
"Look Dr. Scully when you get you PhD in psychology . . ."
"When you learn to come off your high horse and learn how to deal
with human beings, maybe he'll open up to you.  You can't treat him
the way you do.  He won't respond, he will and does withdraw.  He's
too introverted to respond to your forceful nature, you probably
remind him of his father.  Now if you can't help him, I'm going to
call his old therapist in on this."
"I think you should do that. I don't have time . . ."
"Thank you Dan, have a nice day."  Mulder smiled as Dan left in a
huff.
"Told him didn't you?"
"He was getting on my nerves, Mulder what was your old therapist's
name and number so I can call him?"
"In my wallet behind my Drivers license.  Your poems ready."
"I'll read it later, let me call him, oh her first."



6 weeks later


"Carol Hey, How's he today?"  Scully asked as she entered Mulder's
room.
"He's great, I'm releasing him today. Though he still needs to see me
on a regular basis."
"Great, are you all packed and ready Mulder?"
"Of course let me out of here."  Mulder said grabbing his bag of
stuff
and heading towards the door.
"Dr. Scully, Mulder.  I don't want him to return home by himself. 
If at all possible could he stay with you?"
"Sure he can, well this calls for Chinese, you're welcome to join us
Carol?"  Mulder was silently begging her to refuse.  It had been over
2 months since he and Scully had been together, alone.  Mulder had
been thinking of how many different positions and how many times
he could make her come in an hour.  
"Sure I'd love to.  That way I know where you live and stuff, just in
case I need to go over there for his therapy sessions."  Scully smiled
and reached for Mulder's hand as she walked out the door.






Mulder fidgeted a little on the couch, while Scully and Carol chatted
it up like old buddies.  Dang it Carol! She has got to know I'm dying
right now, why is she torturing me like this.  It's a good thing I wore
the tight underwear today or I would have embarrassed myself hours
ago.  Mulder looked at the clock on the VCR.  9:30!!!   Go home
Carol Geez!  

I really shouldn't tease him like this, Carol thought.  I can practically
taste the pheremones he's emitting.  He's trying hard not to crowd
her, but he really wants me to leave so he can take care of a few
things.  I guess I'll let him have a little peace.
"Well let me go.  I have some paper work to do.  See you bright and
early tomorrow.  9:30 Okay Mulder?"
"Yeah that's fine.  Good night Carol."  Mulder said gazing intently at
Scully.  When she left, Scully locked the door and turned to Mulder.
"I thought she'd never leave. Come here."  Mulder said, his voice
filled with need.  Scully went to him quickly, he pulled her to him
and laid her on the couch.  He hungrily kissed her everywhere his
hands wildly unbuttoning her shirt and pants, hers doing the same. 
She kicked off her pants and he pulled his off and entered her
quickly.  He groaned loudly as he started to thrust into her.
"I'm sorry this isn't going to last long."
"That's okay, I completely understand."  Scully said kissing him
sweetly in the middle of his chest, her fingers playing lightly on his
sweat beaded back.  Mulder thrust into her a few more times and
came hard.  He collapsed against her
"Hold on a second, let me . . ."
"That's okay Mulder, next time.  You're getting heavy."  Mulder held
her against him and sat up.
"Mulder?"
"I said hold on a second."  Scully smiled 
"Man, you're . . ."
"Horny?  Very, ok here we go again."
"This is going to be a long, but enjoyable night." Scully said as
Mulder started to thrust into her again.



9:30 am


Mulder walked into Carol's office and sat down.  He seemed calmer,
serene, more comfortable.
"You got laid last night huh Mulder?"  Mulder looked at her stunned
then he turned crimson.
"Yeah, Yeah I did."  Mulder said almost inaudibly.
"What? Couldn't hear you."
"Yes, I did." Mulder said louder.
"That's better.  Nothing to be embarrassed about, you're in love, it
happens from time to time."  Mulder smiled, more than that he
thought.
"Ok lets get started, we have to work from scratch again, but with
you
being in a more loving and stable relationship now, this may go a lot
faster and easier than last time.  Ready?"



Memorial day weekend



Mulder smoothed his polo shirt and fidgeted as he pulled up in front
of the Scully house.  Cars were lined up in the driveway and Mulder
could smell the grill going in the back.   He exhaled deeply and
Scully smiled at him.
"You'll be fine Mulder.  My Dad will love you, ignore my brother
Bill,
my brother Charlie loves everyone and watch out for my sister
Missy, she's a flirt.  Besides that you'll be fine, especially since were
bringing the steaks, they'll really love you."  Mulder smiled and
popped the trunk, grabbing the grocery bags out of the back. 
Mulder ran his hand through his hair trying to keep his
ever-stubborn cowlick at bay and took a deep breath as a large red
haired man opened the door.  
"Dana!"
"Bill hey!"  Scully said hugging her older brother
"How's it going?"
"Pretty good."  Scully said stepping inside, Mulder followed and
closed the door quietly behind him.  He scooted past them into the
kitchen as he quietly unloaded the grocery bag.
"Wow! I thought mom was kidding when she said he was quiet."
"Extremely.  Don't mess with him Bill or I swear I'll shoot you.
Mulder?" Mulder looked at her quickly.
"Come meet my brother Bill.  Bill, this is Fox Mulder."
"Fox?"
"Family name, call me Mulder please."
"Sure thing."
"Come on you need to meet the rest of the family.  Bill bring the
steaks out."  Mulder stepped out on the back porch and everyone in
the backyard stopped.
"Don't worry Mulder, stay close to me till your introduced."  Mulder
squeezed her hand harder and followed her down the stairs.
"Fox! Hello how you been sweetie?  Haven't seen you since you left
the hospital. Seems like every things still in the right place."
"Yes healed up fine ma'am"
"Maggie, Fox, Maggie."
"Yes ma'am."  Mrs. Scully smiled and the rest of the family crowded
around them.  Mulder started feeling claustrophobic and fidgeted.
"This is Fox Mulder.  Mulder, that's my Dad Bill Sr., Ahab to me,
my
little brother Charlie, and my sister Melissa."
"Hello" Mulder said softly
"Oh he's too quiet Starbuck, got to louden him up.  Come here boy,
where's those steaks?"
"Right here pop."  Bill said handing the steaks to Mulder.
"Come on you can come talk to me for a while.  Mulder, what is that
Jewish?"

"Oh Dana he is a cutie, he got a brother?"
"No, and that model is all mine Missy."
"What's he do?"  Charlie asked
"FBI, he works in the violent crimes, behavior science unit as a
behavioral profiler."
"English?"
"He gets in serial killers and other criminals heads, sees what makes
them tick so that we can catch them.  He's one of the best."
"What was mom talking about a hospital?"
"Oh he was shot a couple of months back, 3 times in the chest.  He's
pretty much healed up now." Pretty much except for that little stint
on the psyche ward, Scully thought as she stole a glance at him.  He
seemed fine, chatting with her father and she refocused on the
conversation
"So serious about this guy? Or will he end up another Jack?"
"No he's nothing like Jack, he's loads better."
"Well dad seems to like him."  Bill said as Mr. Scully laughed loud
and smacked Mulder hard on the back.
"You know, I like you Mulder.  Your one funny bastard."
"Thank you sir."
"But you really are too polite and too quiet, call me William."
"Yes sir."  Mr. Scully laughed hard again
"Gosh you're a riot Mulder, so where'd you get these steaks?"




After the cookout



Mr. Scully walked with Mulder out to the car.
"Nice to meet you son, so um what did you need to ask me in
private?"
"Um sir, Mr. Scully I . . . I wanted your permission to . . . I would
like your permission to marry Dana."  Mr. Scully sat stunned for a
second
"Starbuck? You want to marry her? Well of course you have my
permission son.  I'd love to have you as a son in law.  So um, when
you going to ask her?"  Mr. Scully said with a smile
" I don't know, definitely before the end of the week."
"So don't tell anyone right?"
"Right"
"No problem and Mulder?"
"Yes sir?"
"Welcome to the family"

              




AUTHOR'S NOTES::

Panic disorder is characterized by unexpected and repeated episodes
of intense fear accompanied
by physical symptoms that may include chest pain, heart
palpitations, shortness of breath,
dizziness, or abdominal distress. These sensations often mimic
symptoms of a heart attack or
other life-threatening medical conditions. As a result, the diagnosis
of panic disorder is frequently
not made until extensive and costly medical procedures fail to
provide a correct diagnosis or
relief. 
Many people with panic disorder develop intense anxiety between
episodes, worrying when and
where the next one will strike. Fortunately, through research
supported by the National Institute
of Mental Health (NIMH), effective treatments have been
developed to help people with panic
disorder. 
How Common Is Panic Disorder? 
     ·    In a given year, 1 to 2% of the U.S. population has panic
disorder. 
     ·    Women are twice as likely as men to develop panic disorder. 
     ·    Panic disorder typically strikes in young adulthood. Roughly
half of all people who
     have panic disorder develop the condition before age 24. 
What Causes Panic Disorder? 
The exact cause of panic disorder is unknown and is the subject of
intense scientific investigation.
Possible causes include heredity, other biological factors, stressful
life events, and overreacting to
normal bodily sensations. Some research suggests panic attacks
occur when a "suffocation alarm
mechanism" in the brain erroneously fires, falsely reporting that
death is imminent. 
What Treatments Are Available for Panic Disorder? 
Treatment for panic disorder includes medications and a type of
psychotherapy known as
cognitive-behavioral therapy, which teaches people how to view
panic attacks differently and
demonstrates ways to reduce anxiety. NIMH is conducting a
large-scale study to evaluate the
effectiveness of combining these treatments. Appropriate treatment
by an experienced
professional can reduce or prevent panic attacks in 70% to 90% of
people with panic disorder.
Most patients show significant progress after a few weeks of
therapy. Relapses may occur, but
they can often be effectively treated just like the initial episode. 
Can People with Panic Disorder Also Have Other Physical and
Emotional Illnesses?
Research shows that panic disorder can coexist with other
disorders, most often depression and
substance abuse. About 30% of people with panic disorder use
alcohol and 17% use drugs, such
as cocaine and marijuana, in unsuccessful attempts to alleviate the
anguish and distress caused by
their condition. Appropriate diagnosis and treatment of other
disorders such as substance abuse or
depression are important to successfully treat panic disorder.
Approximately 20% of people with
panic disorder attempt suicide.
It is not unusual for a person with panic disorder to develop
phobias about places or situations
where panic attacks have occurred, such as in supermarkets or
other everyday situations. As the
frequency of panic attacks increases, the person often begins to
avoid situations where they fear
another attack may occur or where help would not be immediately
available. This avoidance may
eventually develop into agoraphobia, an inability to go beyond
known and safe surroundings
because of intense fear and anxiety. 
People with panic disorder may also have irritable bowel syndrome,
characterized by intermittent
bouts of gastrointestinal cramps and diarrhea or constipation, or a
relatively minor heart problem
called mitral valve prolapse. In fact, panic disorder often coexists
with unexplained medical
problems such as chest pain not associated with a heart attack or
chronic fatigue.