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All humour
articles or pictures were produced by THE PROJECT unless specified.
If you
display any of these on your homepage, you must include a link to this
site!
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Dimension X |
The Project |
The Project |
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TV Guide |
Recurring Characters
Fox Mulder:
No government agency has jurisdiction
over the chicken. The chicken is out there,
Scully, and we will find it.
Dana Scully:
There is a logical, scientific
explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need
more evidence.
Walter Skinner:
<teeth clenched> You've got
24 hours to find out why that @!!*@!@ chicken crossed the
road!!!
The Cigarette Smoking Man:
<blows puff of smoke> There
was no chicken.
Alex Krycek:
Because he can't decide WHAT side
he's really on.
Byers:
It was trying to escape the most
heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.
Langly:
It was on its way to the grassy
knoll, dude.
Frohike:
<snapping a photo> I don't know,
but she's hot.
Bill Mulder:
It heard the words, and they made
sense to it....merchandise...fryer parts....
Mrs. Mulder:
I have told you that I don't remember
any chicken.
Mrs. Scully:
I had a dream about the chicken
being taken away....
Melissa Scully:
The chicken needed to get in touch
with its inner self, to find the light and the good. It
was in a very dark place...
Bill Scully, Sr.:
One day the chicken and I will
be together again...
Bill Scully, Jr.:
Dana, you spend too much time worrying
about chickens...for HIM? You should be home
with your family!
Queequeg:
Woof! (translation: to avoid being
eaten by Big Blue.)
Agent Pendrell:
To get Dana a birthday present.
The Well-Manicured Man:
It will cross the road in one of
two ways....
Deep Throat:
Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road
a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.
X:
The chicken is choosing a dangerous
time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but
it's never been more dangerous.
Marita Covarrubias:
I don't know how much I can tell
you about the chicken....Oh yessssss, the
chickenssssss. How much time
do you have?
Jeremiah Smith:
I can't tell you right now why
the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll
show you....
The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter:
Tell me where the chicken is!
Danny (Mulder's FBI inside man):
Because it needed to get a better
look at a license plate.
Big blue and queequeg and Jose and Yappie
Mulders gone missing and Skinners not happy.
Scully cuts open some corpses with style,
These are a few of my favourite X-Files.
Kryceks black jacket and Mulders red speedo,
Anything else that excites my libido
Ashtrays of Morley butts left in a pile,
These are a few of my favourite X-Files.
When the flukeman bites, when the mites sting,
When I'm feeling sad
I simply rewatch my favourite X-Files
And then I don't feel so bad!
Psychics and iceworms and pyrokinesis,
Vampire and clones and the alien foetus,
Newspaper nests stuck together with bile,
These are a few of my favourite X-Files!!
(to the tune of If I only had a brain, from The Wizard of Oz.)
I'd buy gloves and not have extras
And I'd be ambidextrous
If I only had an arm
I could pummel Fox and Dana
Then I'd do the macarena
If I only had an arm
I'd take vengeance on that prick
Who made me asymmetric
If I only had an arm
The fake one causes blisters
And I wish I could play Twister
If I only had an arm
Oh I could tell you why the finger meets the
thumb
I could handstand and not fall on my bum
Then I'd clap when I'm done!!
I'd win at thumb wrestling
Its hell when you're undressing
If you've only got one arm.
I could tie my own shoe laces
I probably won't misplace it
If I only had an arm.
(to the tune of The Addams Family theme)
Their father is their brother
They'd kill to save each other
They all slept with their mother
The Peacock family.
They're not apologetic
'Bout mixing their genetics
They're really quite pathetic
The Peacock family.
Their story ended sadly
None left but Ma and Daddy
They drove off in their Caddy
The Peacock family.
"Killing
Diana Fowley"
Sung to the tune of Ricky Martin's "Livin
La Vida Loca"
She's into doin old guys.
Conspiracies abound.
She'd like to seduce Mulder
So that the truth can't be found.
She's into hidin' aliens
and buckets of lingerie.
And if 'They' came for Scully
It'd really make her day.
She's got some strange obsessions
Such as stripping for sick men.
So many ways to beat her down,
and then do it all again!
Oh it's got to be a sin!
Turn her inside out!
Killing Diana Fowley
Her hair ripped from her scalp
Killing Diana Fowley
we'll make it hurt so bad
Many wonder how we
Think of so many ways
of Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
We're Killing Diana Fowley!
We'd like to poke her eyes out,
and then remove her head.
Set fire to her body
That way we know she's dead.
Some poison in her water
And some Hemlock in her food.
It'd be so entertaining!
She's so damn awful lewd!
Not to mention mighty Rude!
Alright!
Turn her inside out!
Killing Diana Fowley.
Her hair ripped from her scalp
Killing Diana Fowley.
Hey it's so fun to watch
Many wonder how we
come up with all these ways
of Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
We're Killing Diana Fowley!
Love Killing Diana Fowley
She's got some strange obsessions
Such as stripping for CSM.
So many ways to beat her down,
And then do it all again!
Oh it's got to be a sin!
C' mon!
Turn her inside out!
Killing Diana Fowley
Her hair ripped from her scalp
Killing Diana Fowley
We'll make it hurt so bad
Many wonder how we
Can make so many ways
of Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
We're Killing Diana Fowley!
C'mon
Turn her inside out!
Killing Diana Fowley,
Her hair ripped from her scalp
Killing Diana Fowley.
Hey it's so fun to watch
Many wonder how we
Come up with so these ways
of Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
Killing Diana Fowley-- C'mon!
We're Killing Diana Fowley!
More humour on the way from the dark depths of the net.
No offence is meant to Mimi Rogers, a wonderful actress. Just a shame she had to play the part of that thing.