Florence Tolan, struggled to raise sons as widow

Florence C. Tolan, a dignified woman who raised two sons alone after her husband, a Portland firefighter, died in the line of duty, died April 15, 2000. She was 91.

Mrs. Tolan was an independent, no-nonsense woman who instilled a work ethic in her sons.

"Her way of doing things fostered a lot of my brother's and my independence," said one of her sons, Edward J. Tolan of Falmouth. "If you came home and you wanted some sympathy, if it was justified, you got it. If it wasn't, she basically told you to wake up and smell the roses."

She was a strong person. In 1956, when her husband, Portland Fire Captain John E. Tolan, died, it was rare for mothers to be in the workforce. "From that point on," said her son, now the chief of police in Falmouth, "my mom went back to work and raised my brother and me. . .She made sure that the cold, cruel world was not going to (get) the better of us. We were prepared to deal with the facts of life."

She could be as gentle as she was tough � especially with her grandchildren, whom she doted on. "She'd go to things for my daughter at school, she just loved the grandkids," her son said. "That was about all she talked about." Her grandchildren returned the affection. "My son, when he came home from a game, the first thing he'd do was call her," her son said.

Mrs. Tolan also was a sports fan who loved the Boston Red Sox and the New England Patriots. A few years ago, she was talking to her other son, John J. Tolan of Portland, and mentioned that she had been up late watching the Red Sox on television. He was surprised: the game aired only on New Eng- land Sports Network, which Mrs. Tolan did not receive at Deering Pavillion, where she lived. That didn't stop her, though. Even though the signal was scrambled, she was watching. "She was watching the wavy lines just so she could listen to the game," Edward Tolan said. The next day, her sons upgraded her cable to include NESN.

Throughout her life, she remained devoted to the Portland Fire Department. "Portland has an awards program for the Fire Department, and they named the medal of honor after my father," her son said. "They invited her to City Hall for the first awards ceremony. I think that was probably one of her proudest days."

Mrs. Tolan, whom everybody called "Flossie," also enjoyed listening to the Portland fire scanner. "You'd sit there talking to her on the phone and something would happen on the scanner in Portland and she'd tell you to be quiet for a moment," her son said.

She was born in Saint John, New Brunswick, a daughter of John and Sarah Cunningham Rolston. She attended Canadian schools and came to Maine to study nursing, eventually graduating from the former State Street Hospital School of Nursing. She retired from the Portland City Hospital, now known as the Barron center.

A religious woman, Mrs. Tolan was a longtime communicant of St. Joseph's Church, and a former member of St. Christopher's Women's Council. She enjoyed playing cards and beano.

Surviving are her sons, Edward J. of Falmouth and John J. Tolan of Portland; six grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.

Visitation will be from 2 to 4 p.m. and 7 to 9 p.m. Tuesday at the Conroy-Tully Funeral Home, 172 State St., where prayers will be recited at 9:15 a.m. Wednesday. A funeral Mass will follow at 10 a.m. Wednesday at St. Joseph's Church. Interment will be in Calvary Cemetery, South Portland. � Joshua L. Weinstein