You can live without sex but not without glasses
Your back goes out more than you do
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room
Your dating someone half your age..... and are not breaking any laws
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper
You sing along with the elevator music
You would rather go to work than stay home sick
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"
You send money to PBS
You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of deposit
You take a metal detector to the beach
You wear black socks with sandals
You talk about "good grass," and you're referring to the lawn
You have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it